Hello all. I am really upset and any insight/helpful advice would be much appreciated.
I am 24 years old. I am a lawyer and working at a law firm. Throughout my years of law school my parents were adamant that the marriage issues for me only be considered upon completion as they did not want to burden me and wanted me to finish, get a job first etc. Which is totally fine. I have now turned 24 and still not married. I finished post grad studies mid last year. Any rishta which comes along..something always occurs and it does not work out. I.e.: Isthikara turns out not good, or the guy is not educated or still at uni, etc. I know i shouldn’t be but I am really depressed. I used to be extremely outgoing, bubbly, talkative and now I can’t even smile. I feel like a robot going to work each day and do everything in a similar manner. Even my so-called best friend does not think i’ll ever get married. She got married last year. The issue is not that there are no rishtas, there are but something always goes wrong. Does this mean i’ll never get married? my mother always dismisses my concerns and asks how I can be so silly after studying so much but that’s how I feel. My younger cousin recently got married (although that was a love marriage and no one was happy) and I feel like a bigger loser now. I want to stop feeling this way because I am constantly in tears over this. I feel old and loserish and I don’t want to anymore
You're just 24, you're not ancient. You'd think that your mom...being from an older generation...would be more scared than you, but she's right in thinking you're being unreasonable. You seem to be basing your self-worth and happiness on whether or not you have a guy and that's not healthy. It's one aspect of life, Ria.....it does not define you. And when you let it define you......that's when you start giving off that needy/depressed/desperate vibe and people (including guys) pick up on that. It's not attractive and it will become a hindrance in the process of finding a partner. Quit comparing yourself to your cousins and understand that everyone has a different destiny. As for your "friend" who said that you'll never get married.....she can't predict your future any more than she can predict her own, so don't let her comments get to you. You can try examining your expectations to see if they're unreasonable.....be more social....let your friends/family know that you're open to rishta, etc. I know that crying is natural, but it's not gonna help you land a guy any sooner. The stress/pressure may even impair your judgment and cause you to settle for someone that isn't right for you. A more happy/positive attitude will not only help draw people toward you, it'll help you think more clearly. I was hanging out with one of my married friends today...she has three kids...and she told me that she MISSES being single....she misses being able to go shopping alone without her husband and kids bugging her. Every stage in life has it's own charm and pros/cons. Again, I understand it's natural to feel down .....but make better use of this carefree time period... you'll miss it later on. Also, reflect over your self-esteem. It can be more challenging to maintain a relationship with a guy if you have low self-esteem or if you base your worth and entire happiness on him......you set yourself up for heartache that way and it just makes for an unhealthy relationship dynamics. As for istikharas...it's purpose is not to show you a dream for you to decode. When you pray istikhara you have faith that if Allah turns away a matter (in this case a rishta) away from you, then it wasn't in your best interest and that he'll guide you toward something much better. Apart from prayer and making an effort, reflect over yourself.
ria ...24 is not that old .who told u that u r old? nothing to worry about you are MASHALLAH young and ALHUMDULILLAH you are educated you'll get a Good rishta INSHALLAH ALLAH has created soulmates for everyone..just wait for the right time and offer namaz regularly not for the marriage purpose but just for ALLAH as its farz read quran as much as you can ALLAH talah will bless you with a very good life partner and a good life INSHALLAH and Ameen
Hello all. I am really upset and any insight/helpful advice would be much appreciated.
I am 24 years old. I am a lawyer and working at a law firm. Throughout my years of law school my parents were adamant that the marriage issues for me only be considered upon completion as they did not want to burden me and wanted me to finish, get a job first etc. Which is totally fine. I have now turned 24 and still not married. I finished post grad studies mid last year. Any rishta which comes along..something always occurs and it does not work out. I.e.: Isthikara turns out not good, or the guy is not educated or still at uni, etc. I know i shouldn't be but I am really depressed. I used to be extremely outgoing, bubbly, talkative and now I can't even smile. I feel like a robot going to work each day and do everything in a similar manner.** Even my so-called best friend does not think i'll ever get married.** She got married last year. The issue is not that there are no rishtas, there are but something always goes wrong. Does this mean i'll never get married? :( my mother always dismisses my concerns and asks how I can be so silly after studying so much but that's how I feel. My younger cousin recently got married (although that was a love marriage and no one was happy) and I feel like a bigger loser now. I want to stop feeling this way because I am constantly in tears over this. I feel old and loserish and I don't want to anymore :(
I don't think this person is worthy of that title.
More importantly though, I don't think you should be too worried. Sab ka aik waqt hai aur uskay waqt pay hi baat banaygi. My aunt is 30+ and still not married and everyones worried about her. My mum got married at 20. I'm early 20's and engaged to a girl whos elder sister is 28 and still no rishta for her. You're only 24, your turn will come. Don't let it bother you :) You're much too young to be worried about this. Go out, have fun and resume smiling more often. People look nicer and prettier when they smile.
Ria, I got married myself at 25 (late) and I didn't feel that I was old at all. I was fine with waiting for another three four years. And I live in Pakland.
Look at it this way, matches are made by fate as is mentioned in the Quran**
[QUOTE]
"And of His Signs is this: He created for you mates from yourself that you might find rest in them, and He ordained between you love and mercy. Lo, therein indeed are portents for folk who reflect". (Quran 30:21)
[/QUOTE]
Therefore, the person who is MEANT for you, will get to you. Whether now, or ten years down the line. This stuff is PREORDAINED. Therefore, have faith, and don't worry.**
Hello all. I am really upset and any insight/helpful advice would be much appreciated.
I am 24 years old. I am a lawyer and working at a law firm. Throughout my years of law school my parents were adamant that the marriage issues for me only be considered upon completion as they did not want to burden me and wanted me to finish, get a job first etc. Which is totally fine. I have now turned 24 and still not married. I finished post grad studies mid last year. Any rishta which comes along..something always occurs and it does not work out. I.e.: Isthikara turns out not good, or the guy is not educated or still at uni, etc. I know i shouldn't be but I am really depressed. I used to be extremely outgoing, bubbly, talkative and now I can't even smile. I feel like a robot going to work each day and do everything in a similar manner. Even my so-called best friend does not think i'll ever get married. She got married last year. The issue is not that there are no rishtas, there are but something always goes wrong. Does this mean i'll never get married? :( my mother always dismisses my concerns and asks how I can be so silly after studying so much but that's how I feel. My younger cousin recently got married (although that was a love marriage and no one was happy) and I feel like a bigger loser now. I want to stop feeling this way because I am constantly in tears over this. I feel old and loserish and I don't want to anymore :(
dont be so depressed,gals are marring at the age of 30's,one thing if u have done istikhara n it truned out was not gud then don go for it as i hv heard from elders istakhara is like taking Allah advice....don marry jus to be married at the rite age marry a person u like to spend rest of ur life wid,start socializing it will help...being lonely is not the solution..
My sister is also 24 and doing extremely well in her career too. And she is also always worried that she'll never get married. She says she wants to enjoy her time with her partner while she is still young. She sees everyone around her married ... etc.. Just whatever you are going through so I can understand what you are saying. I hear her POV all the time. But like everyone said there is a time for everything you just have to wait. That's what I tell her but we are always looking for rishtas for her. I can totally understand what you are going through. Just pray to Allah and wait for the right person. I got married when I was 25... at 24 I didn't even know my husband. I met him 3 months before I got married.
i agree, what the point if you are 30+ and getting married, then its just might as well - all the fun and thrill is gone
i disagree if ppl here are saying wait - i mean a guy aint gonna fall from the sky (maybe he might) but if aint looking, you aint finding
My sister is also 24 and doing extremely well in her career too. And she is also always worried that she'll never get married. **She says she wants to enjoy her time with her partner while she is still young. **She sees everyone around her married ... etc.. Just whatever you are going through so I can understand what you are saying. I hear her POV all the time. But like everyone said there is a time for everything you just have to wait. That's what I tell her but we are always looking for rishtas for her. I can totally understand what you are going through. Just pray to Allah and wait for the right person. I got married when I was 25... at 24 I didn't even know my husband. I met him 3 months before I got married.
Wud u rather get married to someone you like and believe is a good match for u even if it takes u a little longer to find them or its better to just marry young even if it may nt necessairly be a good match but hey why loose the thrill eh? But i really wonder what thrill and fun there can be when you are mismatched…i thought all that spark came with good chemistry, not age.
But i would definately agree with you that yes everyone should and have to put in an effort in order to find a good match. Har kissi ki lottery nahi lag sakti .
24 and depressed… I think I should have been dead by now coz I am 28 and still single
I hardly see such attitude in 24 year old girls these days. Grow up Ria.
Always remember, when its meant to be, it will be. Its better to wait for the right person than to run after the wrong one just because you are 24. I have seen girls getting depressed coz they couldn’t get good rishtas and when they finally married someone, they agreed that it was worth the wait.
Do what is in your hands. Increase your social circle, try matrimonial websites (if your parents allows), use the services of rishta aunties, ask people around to refer some good rishta etc. Once you are doing your part best, then leave the outcomes to Allah. You shouldn’t have regrets that you didn’t try your level best.
I know a lady who got married when she was 26 arrange marriage and all.
she wasn't looking for marriage but he's the perfect guy or w/e. She's really happy about it and ofc glad that she waited.
Sooo you shouldn't listen to these stupid men its not end of the world :P
you'll meet somebody
my mother always dismisses my concerns and asks how I can be so silly after studying so much but that’s how I feel. My younger cousin recently got married (although that was a love marriage and no one was happy) and I feel like a bigger loser now. I want to stop feeling this way because I am constantly in tears over this. I feel old and loserish and I don’t want to anymore 
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