^ its a discussion/conversation, not an argument. thats what message boards are all about, aren't they? :)
i think this discussion has been dragged on for months
^ FREEDOM OF SPEEEEEEEEEEECH RULES!!!!!
Re: No boxed gifts please
Ok now that I have had mine, I can share too 
Everyone, and I mean everyone, told my parents to do the ‘no boxed gifts please’ because in CT, supposedly that’s the norm. But due to the rushed printing of cards (they were being made in India by my aunt), nothing regarding gifts or money was put on there and a few people called asking what I the bride wanted for a present. My mom told them please, do not bring anything at all. No gifts table were set up in the hall and even when all my friends, br’s friends has asked what we wanted, I had told them not to bring anything. After the Nikkah, I was really surpised that we had 2-3 presents and almost every single person had given money. It’s just how it is in CT, or atleast within the social group we are part of, gifts are so out. People just think it’s better to give money. Even my friends had given us cash/checks/etc which made me really upset but then I realized they were doing a nice gesture. My mom wrote how much each person had given (some desi tradition) and we used the money for sadqah.. had uncle buy goats in Pakistan and distribute the meat among the unfortunate. We also sent thank-you cards to everyone who had come, and given presents.
Whatever his family gave me, I handed it over to my mom, and hubby gave what he received from my family to his parents. Honestly, it bothered me to use any of the money that our guests had brought for us. Despite of it being a ‘norm’ or a gift or w/e, I would have felt very awkward going shopping with that money or doing w/e.
Re: No boxed gifts please
^ how come, lady? after all, it was a gift to you from people who care about you, no?
although the sadqah idea is great! well done!
Re: No boxed gifts please
shay...thats a really good thing to do :)
Another post in another thread that's kinda related..where the bride is "bragging" about how much per head her hall is charging her. I think that's much more tackier than writing it on teh cards. Oh vell :@:
Hey
Well in my wedding card I will be writing 'no boxed gifts'
All the weddings that i have attended say this and i thnk it is a very good idea as you get so much eg 5 toasters kettels ect
It is perfect for the new couple to get a start with the cash that they get at the wedding
Re: No boxed gifts please
I think i see what the dilemma here is..
people who invite each and every person they know or ever met..ie.the entire town....feel the need to "tell" them they accept cash only...(since they wouldnt care what they 'gift' you..you wouldnt care about making the request either)
on the other hand..the smaller the guest list...the intimate the gathering...hence it feels rude to tell them to bring cash with them....
either way...it sounds rude...the statement 'no boxed gifts' has a very cold/distant connotation to it..which is why people inviting the entire town dont feel the same way...some of us with a smaller wedding do.
Re: No boxed gifts please
I think that now since almost everyone does it, the statement has lost the 'rude' touch to it for many people. It doesn't make it okay but people have become what you'd call 'immune' to it :)
Re: No boxed gifts please
This is discussed a few times here, and I still don't get it why some of you feel so offended with this? As a recipient of any such invitation, if you don't want to give a gift any way, don't give it. If you still want to give a boxed gift, do it. If you want to give cash or gift card, fine. Why get upset over this li'l line?
Re: No boxed gifts please
I agree Faisal, people give what they want to anyway. Even if it says no boxed gifts, you're still going to see gifts, and many just bring what's convenient for them. We are desis.. we always have lots to recycle :P
This is discussed a few times here, and I still don't get it why some of you feel so offended with this? As a recipient of any such invitation, if you don't want to give a gift any way, don't give it. If you still want to give a boxed gift, do it. If you want to give cash or gift card, fine. Why get upset over this li'l line?
I am only offended because ppl giving unwanmted gifts in boxes wrap them and all and it creates an unnecessary use of wrapping paper, and it has environmental implications..
save the dolphins!!!!
wipes a tear and walks away
Re: No boxed gifts please
^ lol
hrm... this immune thing worries me. its still rude beyond measure and always will be. i mean, if we all started picking our noses during dinner, would there come a point where we'd become immune to that too? yeesh :p
Re: No boxed gifts please
^ Thats what I am asking, whats rude about it? People also put the time of the ceremony on the card. Do you also feel offended "how dare they tell us the time. Its rude. We will show up whenever we feel like it!!" :scratching head wala icon:
^ lol
hrm... this immune thing worries me. its still rude beyond measure and always will be. i mean, if we all started picking our noses during dinner, would there come a point where we'd become immune to that too? yeesh :p
i think being narrow minded about things is more "rude beyond measure" than this. honestly, i see both sides. i don't understand why it is so insanely rude just because you think so.
^ It's presumptuous, blunt, and tacky.
Huh? You mean telling guests the time of the event is presumptuous, blunt and tacky? Oh my God!! :D
In all seriousness, I don't think its all that big a deal or should be considered offensive at all. I consider a line like that similar to other pieces of information/instructions in an invitation card e.g. time, place, where to park etc. No more. No less.
Re: No boxed gifts please
i don't find it rude either..what's rude about it?
Re: No boxed gifts please
In my opinion, I don't like the no gifts idea, cuz I think one should be thankful for whatever gift they receive as it is the thought that counts
however my parents wanted to go with the no boxed gift idea as cash would help carry the grand expense of the wedding as well as help as start our new life as we are not super rich :S
I'm pretty neutral on it anyway, but if I had my choice, I would have not written it but as an "obedient" daughter LOL I did :S
Re: No boxed gifts please
nothing rude about it.
Re: No boxed gifts please
After getting 3 toaster ovens, 4 blenders, 3 deep fryers and multiples of other other things on my sister's wedding, I think my parents should write "No boxed gifts" on my wedding invi...I mean seriously people are going to spend money but why waste money in duplicate stuff. Oh and desi people don't give a damn to gift registry so it is better to write no boxed gifts...