yeah...ppl should understand that...mostly when i go to Pakistan i get clothes...
There's always a reason. The request is still presumptuous. And just writing "no boxed gifts" is just really rude. Like you can't even give these people a whole, nicely phrased sentence for your demand?
I thikn that in their case it was justified, however, I would've written something more detailed so it didn't look like they were just greed for money.
A family I know got their daughter married in like wisconsin but the wedding was in Cali (since that's where the girl's from) and they said something like, "no boxed gifts please, as the couple are in transition" or something like that. But it made sense. Why pay a crazy amount to haul stuff across the country. It wasn't a big deal, because there was a logical reason for it.
I still think its incredibly tacky. Your guests are doing you a favor (not fulfilling their duty) when they give you a gift. Your unwillingness to "haul" their gifts around just reflects poorly on your sense of gratitude, and does not entitle you to demand any particular form of gift (directly on the invitation no less!).
There is a polite way to handle the situation you mentioned. My sister had wedding celebrations in three different countries...she got around the situation by requesting that the guests at the events held abroad make donations to a few charities that she & her husband had selected...no gifts to fly around with, no tackiness, and hey, something good got done too...
Re: No boxed gifts please
^ i completely agree. and your sister's idea was so generous and graceful- well done to her and her husband! after all, zakat and kheyraat are always welcome.
Re: No boxed gifts please
very true...^ I didnt put anything on my invites...not even the info regarding registry....despite the fact all the aunties got mad saying...they wouldnt know what to get us...blah blah blah....all the people on my guest list are family or very very close friends....It would be embarrassing to even mention anything regarding 'gift' on the invitations.....
Re: No boxed gifts please
and the whole idea is word of mouth... people will ask your mom and his mom what to get you and where to shop. then your moms will say, oh, they're registered here or there. or you have a website address for your marriage which you put on invitations, which of course lists all the usefuls when's and where's, and i think its ok if the website has a section which says where you're registered. cos its not being imposed on anyone that way- if they choose to check it out, its up to them.
and the whole idea is word of mouth... people will ask your mom and his mom what to get you and where to shop. then your moms will say, oh, they're registered here or there. or you have a website address for your marriage which you put on invitations, which of course lists all the usefuls when's and where's, and i think its ok if the website has a section which says where you're registered. cos its not being imposed on anyone that way- if they choose to check it out, its up to them.
Yep!
Re: No boxed gifts please
i dont understand how desis in pakistan feel it ok to give salami but the same desis in the western world find it rude if u put no boxed gifts on the invite?? is it not possible ot give money just like u do in pakistan?????
paisa paisa hai.. in pakistan or elsewhere... budget is budget...
my wedding was in pakistan and i got salami.. but i had my reception in arabia this summer and everyone knew i was settled in denmark and what do i get? huge ass wall clock, fine china dinner set... its really nice that they gave me all that but, its of no use to me. its all sitting back home at my mom's. in a nutshell, their money went to waste. im not saying i wanted anything.. but hey, if ure gonna give salami to the bride and groom in pakistan, then why not in arabia, or canada, or america??? what makes it so wrong??
p.s) where ppl say it may not look nice to only put say, $25 in an envelope and give it and would rather buy a gift so there is no actualy price tag on it.. please. i think everyone has enuff sense to see what quality the gift is... so in the end u know you get something cheap that u will never use, wouldnt it have been better to get cash in that same amount which you could use ?
i personally wouldnt have put no boxed gifts on my wedding invite either, but i always give money and never gifts at weddings. others should also use their grey matter and not give gifts when they KNOW the couple will be moving abroad. it almost gives it a jaan chuti kinda feel.
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i agree- bridal showers are for wedding gifts.
money should be the standard on weddings.
you know why it works so well with the italians and greeks? because they're every bit as gossip-y as the desis are- the exception is, if you give anything less than expected- you are going to get slammed in the community and shamed so that next time, you don't go even one cent lower than you should.
and frankly, we need desi aunties to focus their gossiping more in this direction than in the "finding a rishta for every single male/female on the planet" direction.
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^ 
next best thing..gift cards :k:
i dont understand how desis in pakistan feel it ok to give salami but the same desis in the western world find it rude if u put no boxed gifts on the invite?? is it not possible ot give money just like u do in pakistan?????
paisa paisa hai.. in pakistan or elsewhere... budget is budget...
No one is saying that its rude to give money as a wedding present...I agree, it is perfectly acceptable to do so in South Asian culture.
It is, however, incredibly rude to basically forbid your guests from giving any other kind of gift...and doing so directly on the invite just adds insult to injury, and comes off as totally besharam.
If hauling of the gifts is the issue then by all means write it on the invitation No Gifts plz with added gimmiks. I am sure your guests will also appritiate not spending their money. With wedding registery (if you choose to have one ) you have a range of prices so one can pick according to their budget and closeness to the couple/family. Like if you get invited to a collegue's wedding a price range of $30- 50 will do it. Of course the couple would know how much the thing cost but it is better than giving 30 bucks in cash.
If hauling the gifts is not a problem then I'd say the best thing is not to force any registry or other gifts option on your guests. Coz a similar lamp in a retail store would cost hella more than in the factory outlet of the same store
or in sale.
No Box gift please
how do u write no box gift on the wedding card but in a nicer way...
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this is the most polite way:
" You know boxes and the gift wraps are made from trees. So it is important that you save those trees which generate the oxygen which you breath to live. You can help the environment and us by avoiding this waste of this precious natural resource."
By the way do you want them to bring gifts but save the box and gift wrap or do you not want any kind of gifts ?
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you cant put it in a nicer way. I personally think its rude to tell that to your guests.
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i went to a wedding where it said something lyk your precense is the most valuable gift but if you prefer to give something we prefer it to me monetary....somethign lyk tht i lost the card. so i cant tell u for sure wht if said but everyone here in Miami Florida writes tht on their wedding cards even for graduations lyk for example im invited to this girls graduation she called everyone and said please no box gift i prefer money...and i was lyk umm lol Ok?
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^ im from the same city and yeah ive seen this sentence a million times-----"your presence is the most precious gift, but if u are to give something please let it be monetary" ---it gets on my nerves.
Guests shouldnt be obligated to give money, and should give whtever according to their budget.
but I believe the reason why ppl so this is because some guests bring like 20 other guests (if their immediate family is invited, they will bring grandparents, cousins, sister in laws and their families--you name it--they will bring them along) then give a set of 4 glasses! Now thats annoying!
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^ yes, its definitely annoying but its a wider issue of cultural insensitivity and just plain ole being cheap *******s!
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blushing rose u live in miami tooo? where
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i like your suggestion too, sahar! it leaves the door open for people to bring cash if they wish.