Re: No boxed gifts please
i dont know people bring cash anyways and sometimes guests in a certain comminuty like ours expect some "guidance" like a registry or "no boxed gifts"
Re: No boxed gifts please
^ well in the end, to each their own... no doubt certain rules of etiquette are meant to, and will, change over time and within communities... at the end of the day, its important for the bride and groom and their families and guests to be comfortable with what is being said, and to have a good time. right? :)
Re: No boxed gifts please
yes!! i agree sgc, i love ya
Re: No boxed gifts please
haha!
Re: No boxed gifts please
lol!
so cheese :p
Re: No boxed gifts please
Hmmm I am still not so sure about gift registries, pretty much because I hate to tell people what I want as a gift, infact it annoys me when anyone asks what I want for my birthday etc. If its a gift its got to be something they give not something I ask for.
As for the no boxed gift thing other than cash gift cards can be given too.
But I think its best to just allow the person giving the gift to make the choice and give whatever they want to. Sahar's message sounds pretty neat too. Hopefully ppl will have the sense to not bring in huge items once they have read that.
My bro thinks that having "no box gifts" written is a wonderful idea. Especially if your getting married, because like if you buy a house your going to settle down peacefully and buy stuff slowly, instead of if you have a bunch of stuff to put in there the first day....(but i think he thinks that because when he gets married he'll have to get back on the plane...and you can't bring that many gifts on the plane...)
my opinion on the other hand is that you shouldn't write about the gifts...not that anyone DOESN"T give gifts but...don't put unnecessary attention on that...
and the gift registry is a good idea but NO ONE follows it...recently i've seen people have gift registries (wedding and baby shower) and it DIDN'T work out. Nobody went to the gift registry place so the to-be mother had about 10 different types of play sets on her WITHOUT gift receipts.....:(
the only reason "no box gifts" should be used is if your in my bro type of position...
other than that...just don't put anything about gifts...ppl wanna bring something, they will, in whatever way they want to...even if you write something...:)
Re: No boxed gifts please
Its about being practical vs being tactful. at a typical desi wedding, the families have probably gone through hell to put the whole shindig together...and in a typical desi family wedding, most likely guests/relatives will complain about what went "wrong" according to their oh-so-precious standards, such as the bride didn't look "right" or the family spent too much money, or too little money, or the food was not good enough or the decorations were not nice enough or the nice decorations were such a waste of money etc, girl family gave a gift which is a terrible tradition, girl family gave not enough gifts to guy's side, too many rasams/nto enough rasams etc....
So I don't blame a couple/family who decides to write that on their invite, they know someone will complain no matter what so they also might as well might as well do what they want in the name of practicality. Of course if u are having a small wedding and/or inviting ONLY people that u absolutely love and care for and know very well, then u can afford to be polite and tactful. :D
Re: No boxed gifts please
^ lesson of the day: don’t invite random people to your wedding just to save face in society. have smaller weddings with people you care about- its more affordable, and they’ll care enough about you to give you what you’ve asked for (gift registry) and/or money as they’ll know you’re starting out.
when you invite people who only come to a wedding to eat, which many of them do, you’re going to end up getting **** gifts and lose all right to complain.
“no boxed gifts” is impolite, plain and simple- practicality doesn’t enter into gift giving unless the gifter chooses to make it so. thats why its called gift giving, and not gift receiving. but again, full circle, it brings me back to the point of having 400 people out of whom you know 50. if you don’t know them, you probably don’t really care about them being there, and so the only thing that makes it worthwhile for you to feed them is if you get something out of it-- so of course there’s no hesitation in telling your guests to give you money or else. and from their part, theres no point in each person paying for their plate plus a bit more, they’re happy to be a family of 6 and gifting you $50 cash- after all, they’re most likely just there for the food. 
its just messed up overall.
as a society, we need to be more aware of gift-giving etiquette and bother enough to follow it.
Re: No boxed gifts please
^exactly! even though I have no clue whether my registry is going to be useful or not.....I am still having one...and ahhh not ever mentioning 'no boxed gifts' on my invites....it just sounds wrong ....everyone who will be at the reception...knows we will be moving......so its up to THEM..if they want to use the registry....fine by me....
Re: No boxed gifts please
i simply hate this whole idea of "no boxed gifts, Please" what if they aren't planning to gift anything at all. they just want to come... eat the dinner... c the couple and go..... or what if they can't afford to give money. how much money can you give anyways??? where do u draw the line that this much $$$ is enough to give.
whereas if you buy a gift.... even a simple frame.... or a $30 worth frame would be great. ppl can easily give money or salami in pakistan... but here... i haven't understood the whole idea. how much is less and how much is more.
so couples should accept whatever thier guests bring for them.
but i know this couple who got 20 toasters on their shaadi!!! can u believe that?? I dont know wht they did with it... but it was damn funny!!! ppl need to get more creative.
my mother usually buy a kitchen thing if the couple is going to move out or is going to a brand new home and have to start from zero. and if the couple is going to stay with rest of the family then she buy a nice decoration piece.
aur aab tak... everyone have been so happy with the gifts she has given.
^ lesson of the day: don't invite random people to your wedding just to save face in society. have smaller weddings with people you care about- its more affordable, and they'll care enough about you to give you what you've asked for (gift registry) and/or money as they'll know you're starting out.
It goes both ways, if u invite alot of ppl who are there just to eat and are likely to complain later on......might as well just do what u want!
i still don't remember if this was even written on our invites
Re: No boxed gifts please
I agree with SGC, the whole notion about no boxed gifts is just SAD! I absolutely detest the idea, it's like we are automatically assuming that we'd be getting something. And that kind of takes the classy part out of the wedding card. It's just rude.
no offense to anyone, just my opinion.
I agree co,mpletley. The no boxed gifts is very impolite in my opinion. If desis say they want to follow the practical way of goras then why don’t more desis have “give to such and such charity in lieu of gifts” like many goras do.
I didn’t have lots of people at my venue either. The venue I chose was not big enough to accomodate a lot of people, though I would have loved to have more of my dad’s friends there. But I didn’t want to compromise on the venue just to accomodate more people.
exactly. I mean what's next?? that we'd be writing on cards"Please only give 100s/200s/ etc etc?? "
I think ppl who write no boxed gifts please, should also mention the amount they're expecting from their guests, just so its easier for their guests to decide if its affordable for them to attend your wedding or not. sheesh. Because by writing this they are making it CLEAR that they are ASKING FOR CASH!
in ybride's case, it could be, the couple will be relocating to so and so place soon so please no boxed gifts would be appreciated.
A family I know got their daughter married in like wisconsin but the wedding was in Cali (since that's where the girl's from) and they said something like, "no boxed gifts please, as the couple are in transition" or something like that. But it made sense. Why pay a crazy amount to haul stuff across the country. It wasn't a big deal, because there was a logical reason for it.
^ that's totally true...and totally understandable...if that's the case do it's fine...
another thing that happened recently was that the ppl had a BABY SHOWER where they got a bunch of gifts then they had a AQUIQA...where the table is filled with gifts AGAIN...now both parties had the same ppl almost....so shouldn't they have put "no box gifts" on the aquiqa invitation?? (because one family had to give 2 gift to the same ppl!)
(because in another recent party, there was a nikka where ppl gave money and gifts, but right after the dad passed away so they decided not to do any other party...but when the id-dat of the mother was done they did a Walimaa, where they put "no box gifts", possibly because they got enough gifts in the Nikka...so what do u guys think???)
A family I know got their daughter married in like wisconsin but the wedding was in Cali (since that's where the girl's from) and they said something like, "no boxed gifts please, as the couple are in transition" or something like that. But it made sense. Why pay a crazy amount to haul stuff across the country. It wasn't a big deal, because there was a logical reason for it.
That's fine in my opinion. In fact people should realize it and not give huge gifts like that to people who are out of town. I always face this when I visist pakistan and people give me things like metal vases !!!??/ and expect me to carry them back with me.