Re: No boxed gifts please
well if you are giving people access to a wishlist isn't that pretty much telling them what you need and want? i thnk they r the same.
I think it wouold be best to just not specify anything at all. worse comes to worse salvation army zindabaad.
but thats why you only tell people about the registry IF they ask... you don't tell them so they shop off it :p
and thats also why you don't include registry info in the invitations...
Re: No boxed gifts please
Registries are not as rude as "no boxed gifts" but theyre a complete waste of money. Its like forcing everyone to buy from just one store at prices dictated by that store, and the three or four gift registries ive seen have insane prices.
An indian tamil friend of mine just recently returned from his sister's wedding in Tamil Nadu. He told me it took them 21 days going around hand delivering invitations, from sunrise to sunset everyday. There is no chance in hell of mailing out the invitation cards as that is considered a major insult and people then wouldnt come to the wedding.
Imagine telling those people "no boxed gifts" :D
Re: No boxed gifts please
LOL!
thats nuts though, hand-delivering invites...
i think if a couple is hoping to have people shop from their registries, then they have to keep their guests in mind. for instance, nobody in our families would give us a 10-piece dinner set when each place setting was $150, so we simply didn't register at those places or for those things....
we registered at linens'n'things and still had a large variety on our registry in different price ranges. thats the key in making a successful registry i think... keeping your guests in mind and being realistic about how much they're going to spend. in other words, dont register at williams-sonoma if you have a wal-mart crowd :p
Re: No boxed gifts please
Walmart crowd hahaha.. does walmart offer such services by the way? That would be so awesome :D
Re: No boxed gifts please
they do actually!!! :)
Re: No boxed gifts please
one of the invitations just plainly said "NO BOXES" in huge bold letters at the bottom
well i was kinda confused and ask...and yea found out...
but ppl still brought wat they wanted to...its just better to let ppl bring what they want.
Re: No boxed gifts please
No boxes hahaha... if i read that on a card i'll take a 40 piece dinner set in a large plastic bag.
Re: No boxed gifts please
^ yes! lol
how extremely rude... no boxes, my arse.
Re: No boxed gifts please
i politely disagree. i am having a very classy wedding, my inlaws are INCREDIBLY classy/nice people and ALL of the events here including my inlaws valimah have this on them. This is only people always bring gifts (this is not that they have to, but they rarely do not ) and it is so sad when the gift ends up being a repeat or cannot be taken somewhere by the couple due to travelling (living far away), etc. The line does not mean "you must bring a gift" it means "no boxed gifts" meaning NO BOXED GIFTS because it will only be hard for the couple to take them somewhere. IT DOES NOT MEAN give me cash. IF SOMEONE WANTS TO GIVE CASH they can and that can be of use especially to a young couple (like us) who are moving away. It is only put there for the benefit of the guests.
also, while i like you groovychick i really really really don't understand your adament opinions. everything can be seen in more than one way and to constantly press that only one way is the correct way is unfair. Again, i'm only politely disagreeing and I love that we can have an open forum about this.
Re: No boxed gifts please
getting cash is great and who doesn't want money, but asking for cash is what i have an issue with.
I dont think saying 'no boxed gifts please' means that they are asking for cash. It just depends on how you take it. For me, it just means please dont go and buy us a crockpot, and if you really want to give us a gift, make it cash. As for people saying, how much should we give etc, well, you give what you can afford and also, how close you are to the family. Like my parents gave my cousin $200. But if we were to go to a wedding outside the family, it would be $100.
I think if people end up buying something off your registry that costs $25, as compared to somebody who bought you something for $100, if you are really arrogant, you are still going to make fun of the $25. When somebody buys something off your registry you KNOW how much it costs. Its exactly the same as receiving that in cash.
I think it is really presumptuous to say that the only reason people put that on the cards if because they want tonns of money. Maybe they just dont want the junk you've accumulated from the flea market!
Re: No boxed gifts please
pakifairy the point your making has been discussed repeatedly on page 1.
Heres how this thing stands. People will bring gifts only if they want, you cannot expect them.
When you're saying 'no boxed gifts' you are implying that you EXPECT them to bring gifts. Thats the rude part.
If you are so concerned about hauling 4 coffee makers to your cottage in australia then feel free to put "Please do not bring gifts" on your card.
Its great that youre politely disagreeging, especially since you made it a point to show that you're being polite. SGC is adamant on her own opinions and thats her choice. Shes not forcing other people to change their opinions. You may still continue to like her without having to understand such complexities of the universe such as why she has an opinion.
Re: No boxed gifts please
Although playing the devil's advocate here, this line is so, so common on shadi cards now that it has become a norm and people sort of expect to see it.
And if you dont see it on a shadi card you're almost going to yourself 'What, haven't these people caught up yet?'
Re: No boxed gifts please
I've actually been seeing it across many different people and communties for the last five or six years or so.
Maybe you just got lucky :-p But yeah the first time i saw it i was shocked too.
Re: No boxed gifts please
Just do what suits your needs BEST. Money or no money, boxed or no boxed, registry or no registry, think what sounds appropriate to you and go ahead with it. Just like many of you didn't come here asking So should I wear red or green- which one would be more appropriate? Diamonds or pearls? Marriott or Sheraton? Biryani or Naan? Etc etc etc.. Just make a decision based on what you and your family want and I am sure for those who do not want the boxed gifts, you guys probably know what it's like in your circle of friends and family. One of my relatives in Pennsylvania said all the 8 weddings she has attended since last year had no boxed gifts on the cards and noone cares anymore because it has become a norm.
Re: No boxed gifts please
I dunno guys, if i were to do it all over again, i'd leave that to my parents...after all they're the ones inviting their family and friends...im sure its understood and all..however, i'd NEVER expect my friends to give cash!
Re: No boxed gifts please
^i agree.. if your parents do ask for no gifts then you can personally let your friends know that they can bring you presents if they want. but giving cash isn't so odd now- at my sis's birthday party last month, of the 15 guests who came, 9 of them gave her money and a couple of those who brought presents gifted her cash along with the stuff. it just depends on your social circle and how things are done around you.
Re: No boxed gifts please
pakifairy the point your making has been discussed repeatedly on page 1.
Heres how this thing stands. People will bring gifts only if they want, you cannot expect them.
When you're saying 'no boxed gifts' you are implying that you EXPECT them to bring gifts. Thats the rude part.
If you are so concerned about hauling 4 coffee makers to your cottage in australia then feel free to put "Please do not bring gifts" on your card.
Its great that youre politely disagreeging, especially since you made it a point to show that you're being polite. SGC is adamant on her own opinions and thats her choice. Shes not forcing other people to change their opinions. You may still continue to like her without having to understand such complexities of the universe such as why she has an opinion.
well thats all i wanted to say, thanks cheegum! i think we can both agree to disagree here, PF... hopefully the fact that we have differing opinions, and like to express them equally adamantly, doesn't mean we can't continue to have civil discussions :)
Re: No boxed gifts please
I dont think saying 'no boxed gifts please' means that they are asking for cash. It just depends on how you take it. For me, it just means please dont go and buy us a crockpot, and if you really want to give us a gift, make it cash. As for people saying, how much should we give etc, well, you give what you can afford and also, how close you are to the family. Like my parents gave my cousin $200. But if we were to go to a wedding outside the family, it would be $100. I think if people end up buying something off your registry that costs $25, as compared to somebody who bought you something for $100, if you are really arrogant, you are still going to make fun of the $25. When somebody buys something off your registry you KNOW how much it costs. Its exactly the same as receiving that in cash. I think it is really presumptuous to say that the only reason people put that on the cards if because they want tonns of money. Maybe they just dont want the junk you've accumulated from the flea market!
if you're** pricing out your gifts and attaching value to them accordingly, then you have bigger problems, i think, than what is being discussed here... namely, you're an arse :p
same thing if you're giving out "accumulated junk from a flea market" as a wedding present.
either way, that isn't the point being discussed here... the point is, you cannot under any circumstances expect gifts from people nor can you tell people what to give you IF they choose to bring gifts... perhaps a registry reads the same as "no boxed gifts" to some people, but to me, it doesn't. to me, it was important to give my guests options (hence the multiple prices/categories on the registry) AND they heard about the registry ONLY because they ASKED about it. nobody volunteered the information, nor pressed the issue. at the end of the day, both my husband and myself were incredibly happy and grateful for whatever we received... weddings are about people, not gifts.
** "you"= generally speaking, not specifically you.
Re: No boxed gifts please
[quote="pakifairy, post:2, topic:178965"]
i politely disagree. i am having a very classy wedding, my inlaws are INCREDIBLY classy/nice people and ALL of the events here including my inlaws valimah have this on them. This is only people always bring gifts (this is not that they have to, but they rarely do not ) and it is so sad when the gift ends up being a repeat or cannot be taken somewhere by the couple due to travelling (living far away), etc. The line does not mean "you must bring a gift" it means "no boxed gifts" meaning NO BOXED GIFTS because it will only be hard for the couple to take them somewhere. IT DOES NOT MEAN give me cash. IF SOMEONE WANTS TO GIVE CASH they can and that can be of use especially to a young couple (like us) who are moving away. It is only put there for the benefit of the guests.
[quote]
i'm not saying you and your people aren't classy... i never said that.
but i dont understand your point... so you want a pressure cooker but in a bag? outside of cash, what other gifts can you bring that don't come in boxes? does this mean you want jewellery?
im confused...
Re: No boxed gifts please
I think it would be less rude to include a message that said,
"We look forward to your company on this special day. Because the bride and groom will be moving soon after the wedding, we ask that the only gift you bring is your presence."
Or something like that.
"No boxed gifts" is presumptuous and tacky. Don't be surprised if your guests feel that way.
that message is perfectly fine... if its truly not about gifts in bags, boxes or envelopes, then why not say it this way to make it clear?