I don't think we're the issue here. We've made it clear that we find it tacky beyond belief, and that we wouldn't be caught dead with anything like that on our invites. Heck, even when we get these kinds of money grubbing invites, we just shake our heads and write out a nice check, because we're too polite to do otherwise (even though it just reinforces such repugnant behavior).
lol.
Re: "No boxed gifts."
Here is another question. Why do yall associate with tacky people that write no boxed gifts on their wedding invitations. Your company is a representation of who you are... why do you choose to associate with tacky company and their tacky activities if it bothers you so much?
LOL this is like beating a dead horse.
The funny thing is I am neutral in this matter.
^ why do you always ask such tacky questions? Of course it's because just because you do one thing that's tacky doesn't make you tacky. Everyone does something tacky...doesn't make that person tacky....Here's my tacky thing I do - I don't tip. I don't go to restaurants that much (once in a blue moon), but if someone has to DRAG me to a restaurant, I wont tip, unless a member of whom I'm sitting with gives me the look of death. And I'll even admit it's tacky-just a tacky thing i do that I can't help- The 8% or whatever just kills me. Now if you do tacky stuff more then 50% of the time, I will probably stop associating with you simply to prevent myself from puking to death.
Re: "No boxed gifts."
lmaooo wowwwwwwwwwwwwww
Re: "No boxed gifts."
Bloody hilarious
Re: "No boxed gifts."
LOL I know!!! Did you catch my menu post???
I'm sure the girl who's picking her nose and farting in public thinks its rude when people don't appreciate her behavior. Who cares?
The issue isn't whether or not its okay to give cash gifts (I could care less about that)...its whether or not its okay for the bride's family to demand them. As for whether or not demanding cash is becoming a societal norm - thankfully you're wrong. It's acceptable in neither Pakistan nor the US...rather, there's a subset within the expatriate South Asian community who seem to think its OK.
Apparently you care enough to go out of your way to insult people who choose to use this practice.
Im not wrong. You need to get out more, obviously. But your personal issues are not my problem.
One more thing, you are NO ONE...absolutely NO ONE to judge or say what is right or wrong. You dont make those rules so saying its wrong or right...is not your place.
Dont do it at your own wedding but everyone else's choice is definitely NOT your business.
janeb e ali, I agree with you...apparantly even saying that "No boxed gifts" is tacky on A FORUM is considered rude...so stupid....
Reha, no this practice is only common among Desi's in the west...not everywhere...
I don;t understand, why y'all are SO HUNG UP OVER when someone says that "no boxed gift" is tacky!! It's the same as saying I think brides who wear blood red wedding dresses are ughh!!! or brides who 10000 pounds of gold jewelry during the day of the their wedding is tacky....and those photos that couples take trying act out lovey- dovey scenes bollywood movies- PUKE!!!! would never do!!
So get over it....And if your feelings are so easily hurt over what someone says on an online FORUM..get some help- it's a tough world out there.
Ummm...GJ...no one's feelings are hurt. If anyone's, it would be the people who are SO extremely bent out of shape over reading these invites. I had no idea their delicate sensibilities were getting so shattered by these invitations. Maybe the happy couple should know so they can save money, time and space for more gracious guests.
Next time, please do us all a favor. Let the couple know you feel this way rather than harboring these negative feelings against them and actually going to their affairs. Why be ashamed of saying how you feel if its so right? Why give in to this supposed "tacky" behavior? Why support it?
Actions speak louder than words and apparently your reasoning isnt strong enough for you to stand by.
Re: "No boxed gifts."
lol.. bringing the heat down.. i recently heard about this trend from my fiance ( who lived in UK).. and believe me.. I found it pretty tacky at first.. but later it made lot of sense and seemed more practical ... I think it would be more acceptable in a scenario.. when the bride and the groom are arranging for their marriage.. they both have been raised or educated in the west.. so they would be more aware of the culture.... and also, they are inviting their friends not so much their parent's friends and family friends... because when I kinda mentioned this my mom.. she was shocked at how greedy people can be ahahahaha....
but I know why it is practical.. because the bride and the groom wouldn't have to deal with stupid photo frames and other weird gifts.. also, for bride and groom who gonna settle in another city or country so registry wont work...
so ladies.. for some people it might make more sense than the others.. now stop lashing out at each other...that's big time tacky ahahahaha
lol! you guys are hilarious
There’s no right or wrong in this people. Its a personal choice for the love of god. Trying to enforce your opinions on others does not make you right just because YOU THINK you are.
Lets just agree to disagree!
miss misssssss raises hand miss
…but what makes illogical sense? 
That's just the thing X2, none of it. :)
All valid points on each side, the end decision is yours and yours only to write what you want.
If your pro, great! If your, con, great!
Whatever, its up to you but the point is, that degrading people because of your PERSONAL, bias opinions, like some of the people on this thread, whether its to their face or behind closed doors or on this forum....now that's the illogical part.
People will say or think what they want for sure, but that doesn't make the other person right or wrong, good or evil in either approach because they've got their reasons and you have your for basing your decisions surrounding your life, and that's totally cool. :)
Whether you, as an outsider to someone's life and decisions chose not to accept another person's decision because you don't understand it, is your own issue, not the problem of the person who wrote what you didn't like on their own card.
PS. X2...I don't mean you when I mention "you", just speaking generally in response to some of the very closed minded comments in this thread. It wasn't targeted towards you at all. :) :)
Apparently you care enough to go out of your way to insult people who choose to use this practice.
Im not wrong. You need to get out more, obviously. But your personal issues are not my problem.
One more thing, you are NO ONE...absolutely NO ONE to judge or say what is right or wrong. You dont make those rules so saying its wrong or right...is not your place.
Dont do it at your own wedding but everyone else's choice is definitely NOT your business.
Ummm...GJ...no one's feelings are hurt. If anyone's, it would be the people who are SO extremely bent out of shape over reading these invites. I had no idea their delicate sensibilities were getting so shattered by these invitations. Maybe the happy couple should know so they can save money, time and space for more gracious guests.
Next time, please do us all a favor. Let the couple know you feel this way rather than harboring these negative feelings against them and actually going to their affairs. Why be ashamed of saying how you feel if its so right? Why give in to this supposed "tacky" behavior? Why support it?
Actions speak louder than words and apparently your reasoning isnt strong enough for you to stand by.
Totally agree. I had no idea people actually put so much thought into this. It's just an invitation which was given to you out of love and respect. They want your presence and I am sure don't care much about gifts. They just don't want to get a million toasters and wall clocks.
so basically point being dont invite poor ppl to expensive weddings, because a few of these and your monthly budget it shot.
ghareeb ppl...who needs em..
Thats a whole different issue too, just take what ppl bring, good or bad, what you like or hate, whether there was sincere thought behind it or just someone going through the motions. and let it rest and let it be.
I dislike the desi weddings where everything is about comparing, competition, what did the grooms fmily give, what did the bride wear, how was the food, what was the venue, this was worse than that, oh the splurged on this, who gave what, who wore what to the event, ...
In general with the amount of negative energy around these events I wonder howcome there is no haatha pai at the events :D
well said.....
maybe I just come from a very different family where we were taught that on your birthday it is you who should be thankful to Allah for having had another year with your loved ones so you are expected to treat them with a dinner.
even when I was young Ammi used to make me save up and contribute towards the cost of my birthday parties so that I knew that it was my responsibility to give......not expect to receive......many years later I found out that the money I was giving her (and some added by ammi and papa) was sent to my cousin in Karachi who would use a part of it to host a dinner (usually something the poor kids would not often eat like biryani) at the orphanage and a part was donated for their on-going needs. this is a practice that our family continues today.
it goes without saying that the vast majority of people coming to your wedding will bring a gift.....chances are it will be something they can afford......be it a small amount of cash or what you may consider a cheap, tacky glassware set.......don't be turning your nose up at it......don't complain about it.
if you don't like it.......donate it to some charity that will accept items instead of cash........they will thank you profusely and they will find someone that will appreciate it.
if someone comes without a gift.......don't complain about having to pay for their "butt on that seat".......you weren't holding a theatrical masterpiece for which you needed to charge a ticket fee.......or were you?
The gora weddings I’ve been to recently do just that - they send a menu list as part of the RSVP card, you check the box of the meal choice you want (there’s usually 2 or 3, one of which is vegetarian). Its good because you can tell how much they are paying for your meal & plan your gift accordingly!!! 
Unfortunately I can’t chose my relatives. I just don’t have to copy their bad behavior.
Re: "No boxed gifts."
There you go! ^
Apparently you care enough to go out of your way to insult people who choose to use this practice.
What I don't understand is that if you're so utterly convinced that there's nothing wrong with the practice, why are you getting all hot and bothered when someone disagrees? If I post a picture of an outfit I adore, and 10 people tell me its hideous, do you think I care? No...I know I have excellent taste, and I trust myself enough to go out and buy the outfit anyways. I think the fact that you're getting so riled up over this just shows that deep down inside, you think its a pretty tacky concept too, but you just don't want people pointing it out.
I said it before and I'll say it again:
If someone is so desperate to make a couple bucks that they're willing to sacrifice their manners and their dignity and ask for money outright, I certainly wouldn't dream of denying them their payout. So then why would they care if I, or anyone else, felt that their behavior was tacky? They wanted money, they asked for it, they got it...and they should be happy that they got what they demanded. Their actions have consequences - and they should know that such behavior will be considered unacceptable and rude by virtually all of their American/Canadian/European guests, as well as a sizable chunk of their Desi guests. No amount of bellyaching is going to change that. So if your're planning on demanding money, you need to live with it.
maybe I just come from a very different family where we were taught that on your birthday...
Totally agree with everything you said in this post!
Re: “No boxed gifts.”
^ It’s only you that’s getting worked up over this. There’s NOTHING wrong with the pratice, there are a lot of things that we as Desis do that are wrong, this is not one of them. Seriously, it’s not an issue at all. It’s like chicks talking:
A: O my God, like seriously? She wrote that on the caaaardddd…
B. Totally, it’s like sooo not cool. I am like so offendeddd..
A. Like..I think you should just not go…like seriously, this is ridiculous, it’s like they are begging for moneyyyy or something..
B. OMG! What am I gonna say to herrrr, she is my BFF but this is like such a deal breakerrr for me.. Like I had no ideaa she was so stingy
A. Yeah, totally… You should not be friends with people like her…it ruins your reputation, you know?
Re: "No boxed gifts."
^
I'm not getting worked up...I'm more amused by you and your friends than anything else. Like I said - if you honestly believe that that "there's NOTHING wrong with the practice" then go cash the checks that you demanded and be happy. Why do you care that your behavior is considered rude & tacky by virtually everyone except for some Indian/Pakistani expats in the West...and why does it bother you so much that people you don't even know are pointing out that fact on an anonymous forum?
Re: “No boxed gifts.”
But here’s the thing- YOU are one of the few who thinks it’s demanding cash from guests. If that’s your line of thinking then indeed, you are right. Nobody should “demand” gifts/cash from guests.
It doesn’t bother me a bit and people will always find something to talk about, that’s not my problem. Gossiping and bickering about little things like that is rude. If something like this offends you then you should start reading about different cultures and people. People have different ideas of good and bad manners in every community/country/culture. Learn to not be offended, they are not out to get your money. They don’t NEED you at their wedding, they are inviting you out of love and respect. You should be honored if anything
P.S. I can’t believe people care so much about such petty things, there are other BIGGER things/issues to worry about..