No boxed gifts please

Lifestyle Wedding, Fashion & Beauty
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Re: "No boxed gifts."

Apparently if people bring a boxed gift to an event that has been specified as "No Boxed Gifts", then they can expect that at the time the gift is opened there will be lots of jeering, sneering and badmouthing happening about them.

I've witnessed this more than a couple of times.

One person complained that someone brought 6 people to the party and only a $10 box of drinking glasses as a gift.

One person complained each time there was a boxed gift to be opened and not an envelope.

One person looked with disgust at a piece of unstitched suit fabric that someone had presented to them as a wedding gift. She gingerly handed the fabric over to her embarassed husband......

I cannot tell you how many idiotic incidences like this I have witnessed.

And for those that are saying those who can afford will give you money and those who can't will give you a boxed gift.....that's not always true. We have, more than once, given a boxed gift. Usually an item of gold. Yes, it was a boxed gift......but likely more expensive than any of the envelopes they received.

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I personally think a cheque or a gift card is just fine - the couple can still figure out how they want to spend it on something that's useful to them. One of my cousins got married last year (mixed couple, he married an American girl) & they had a gift registry the way gora weddings do, because that's what her mother wanted but because they knew his family would be more likely to prefer to give money instead they also listed Target gift cards with the registry information. The cards can be bought & then used online which was much easier for everyone than handling cash at the wedding events & worrying about losing it.

[QUOTE]

            Apparently if people bring a boxed gift to an event that has been  specified as "No Boxed Gifts", then they can expect that at the time the  gift is opened there will be lots of jeering, sneering and badmouthing  happening about them.

[/QUOTE]
Oh dear :(

That's one other thing gora weddings have a different etiquette for - its considered inappropriate to bring the gift to the actual wedding, you are supposed to send it to the couple's new home after the wedding so they can open it in private. That way they also don't have to worry about transporting it from the hall, or the risk of someone breaking or stealing the items.

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Thats also another way of doing it, not a bad idea.

All in good faith and practicality like I have been mentioning it from the beginning...

464

Re: "No boxed gifts."

There is no way anyone can please everyone. Plus, its not tasteless at all. Its simply stating a preference at the one point in your life when its actually okay for you to have a preference.

Besides, no matter what you write on your card, what you wear, what you say, how much money you spend, etc etc etc, there will always be someone in the audience that will say things like:

Khana thanda tha
Mirch kam thi
Namak kam tha
Aray, apne larki ko aur sona kyun nahin pehnaya?
Oh my god, uska jora kitna plain tha na?!
Blah Blah Blah

Humaray desiyon mein aur kya hota hai? All people do is try to take your choice and distort into something its not. Impose their own little preferences on you so they feel better about themselves. Look down upon your choice and make fun of it. You might as well do things how you want, at least you will care less about the complainers. :)

No Boxed Gifts is the way to go!

465

Re: "No boxed gifts."

okay desio....please listen to me, really..seriously
next time there is a shaddi where they say no boxed gifts (or even if it does not say that)

now what u do is you find something that is not so over the top crappy that people would think its a gag, but just something really bad, beat up box, stupid gift..just really lame..now what you do is you cover that with brown wrapping paper, and then a nicer paper, get a really gaudy or offputting card as well, now is the key trick..put this box in another box..a really nice gift box..get great wraping paper, splurge on it, and have the right paper and all types of stuff insode this big box..

your goal is to make sure that when this box is opened its a big deal...get it professionally wrapped if you want, it has to look awesome..

oh yes...sign the card as Miss X (someone you despise who is also going to the same shaddi )

enjoy :)

PS: make sure no one sees YOU brining that damn box in, best way to do this is leave it in your car and be among the helpers transporting gift boxes to the couple's place.

PS2: I am more evil than any of you ppl can even begin to imagine

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Re: "No boxed gifts."

Choro yaar, humare jaise, itne ghatiya logon se kon poocha ga...

467

If only I could do that.

I consider protesting the "no boxed gifts" by making a donation on behalf of the couple to a charity and giving them a copy of the donation receipt. I'll have honored their wish for no boxed gifts and still be able to give a gift of my own choosing.

468

you rock in ways you may not even realize :dhimpak:

469

so basically point being dont invite poor ppl to expensive weddings, because a few of these and your monthly budget it shot.

ghareeb ppl...who needs em..

Thats a whole different issue too, just take what ppl bring, good or bad, what you like or hate, whether there was sincere thought behind it or just someone going through the motions. and let it rest and let it be.

I dislike the desi weddings where everything is about comparing, competition, what did the grooms fmily give, what did the bride wear, how was the food, what was the venue, this was worse than that, oh the splurged on this, who gave what, who wore what to the event, ...

In general with the amount of negative energy around these events I wonder howcome there is no haatha pai at the events :D

470

Re: "No boxed gifts."

I don't understand why we even bother with invitations anymore. From now on, we should just send out flyers to all of our friends and family inviting them to buy tickets to our weddings. Why bother with this "no boxed gifts" nonsense...it leaves too much ambiguity for the "guests."

After all, it's your day - who cares if people judge. They'll just find something else to criticize even if you don't charge admission.

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Re: “No boxed gifts.”

$200? :eek: My husband will probably have a heart attack. Its a $15 to $20 per head type of wedding I think… its in community hall or something… not an expensive affair.

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Re: "No boxed gifts."

Flyers sound like a great idea to me if thats what you want on your big day. :)

No Boxed Gifts is a trend that is picking up serious popularity because its more practical.

If some dont like it, dont use it.

However, mocking or making fun of someone else's choice to use it is ridiculous. Its like me making fun of someone's wedding outfit, or the stupid jehez thing Pakistani girls are sooooo obsessed with (all of them want living room ka farneechar), or the $500 we're paying on each formal. Let's pay $400 for the outfit to wear to so-and-so's wedding but start talking nasty if the wedding card says No Boxed Gifts. Seriously?

I cannot believe the amount of animosity in this thread regarding gifts. If that is what the couple prefers, do it. Its not about the guests that day, is it? But no, with desies somehow it always ends up being about them. "I dont want to because I dont feel like it". Okay, then dont go to the wedding. Im sure they wont notice a few less bitter people sitting in the audience with their noses cinkled up. Its THEIR wedding and THEY can choose to receive THEIR gifts however THEY want.

Kisi aur ki khushi manane ke liye jaatey zaroor hein, khana pet bhar ke zaroor khayenge, meetha haat se jane nahin denge, aur picture liye baghair halaq se nivala nahin utrega "full picture! mera suit poora aana chahiye hai!"...lekin No Boxed Gifts pe naak moon chirana.

Be grateful you were thought of on someone's special day.

473

Re: "No boxed gifts."

^I think your post kinda captures why weddings aren't fun for me anymore. So much criticism about everything...maybe the criticism might even be justified, but for the love of God, why have we forgotten that time honored saying which exists in nearly every language/culture/nation..."if you don't have something nice to say, don't say it at all." It's a wedding. No matter who it is, how good/bad you think the invites are, the style of the clothes, the condition of the food, etc. it is primarily an occasion of hope, of two families coming together, of happiness, of two people fulfilling half their deen. It's a time for guests to put a big smile on their face, give their mubaraks to the couple, and pray for them. No more no less. Why do we have to complicate it with all this stuff?

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Except it's rude for the couple to expect gifts from guests- the couple invited them to enjoy the happiness of their union..not so they can help you out with the excessive amt they spent on the wedding to show off. Ideally speaking, that is.

. I personally wouldn't put No boxed gifts on my wedding card, but I don't really have an issue with it either, it's so common I hardly notice it...yes, the ideal would be to instead put "no cash or boxed gifts, all gifts will be donated to charity"...and I get a good vibe when I see a couple that does that...what a great ex. to set!!!

Honestly though, when I go wedding these days, I feel like I pay this big admission fee at entrance...Even a day at Disney doesn't cost as much!

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That is soooooooooo cute! I so agree with what your saying!!

476

Bingo!

"Omigosh, tumne dekha cards pe kya likha? No Boxed Gifts! How tacky! By the way, did your Karma outfit come in yet? Like, Im soooo dying to see it!"

Or "dekha kaisa jora pehnaya? Unki ammi ne bhi kuch khaas nahin pehna tha. Khana bhi bass sahi tha" and blah blah blah.

Its rude for guests to impose their wishes on the bride and groom on their wedding day. Gift giving is normal and standard among weddings of almost EVERY culture. For the bride and groom to pretend like they're not getting any is ridiculous. All they're saying is "if you do plan on getting us a gift, it would be great if you made it a cash gift instead because its something we can actually use right now." If that is tooooooooooooo hard for some to live with, then I suggest they not go.

Keep it simple people.

477

^it's normal to lie in tight situations in EVERY CULTURE...does that make it right? if the norm was to go around naked, with out clothes, would that make it right?

It's not like anyone calls and tells them how offended htey are that they put "no boxed gifts" on the card...nobody really cares, but yeah I have every right to think it's tacky...would i tell that to the couple ? no. Would i tell my mom, siblings that so they won't do something stupid like that on their/my wedding day: yes. Would I generecally express my opinion abt it if asked...yes.

Seriously people since when is it a sin to call something you think is tacky," tacky"?

Its rude for guests to impose their wishes on the bride and groom on their wedding day. Agreed. But it's equally rude for the bride and groom expect the guest to pay their way into a wedding ( who you kidding whith the " if you do plan on getting us a gift" line)- don't invite them then if their cash is so important to you,...mostly likely their going to give you cash anyways.

So yeah, Keep it simple.. don't include the line...and if some misguided ppl give you a boxed gift that you hate that much, just regift it and give it back to them... Problem solved! or throw it in the trash!

478

GJ - I think what Reha is saying is that the criticism, regardless of how you choose to do anything, is the thing that's wrong. Whether you write no boxed gifts or not, the point is not to get upset about it either way and start critiquing. And it's the form of the criticism that's most upsetting. As you said, no one actually calls and tells the married couple or their families what their problem was. That would actually be the correct thing to do...that is, if you have a problem with someone, talk to THAT person and resolve things or keep your mouth shut. Instead, people start gossiping...sometimes at the wedding itself about how bad this is or how tacky that is or how dry the chicken was.

We all have a right to our opinions, we all feel a certain way about some things, heck, we all pass judgment on stuff...but how we choose to express it, that's where the problems crop up.

Did that make any sense?

479

Re: "No boxed gifts."

I never exected people to pay their way into my wedding.

I had every household item I needed already and all the clothes I could handle in two closets...there was no room in my apartment for gifts from 350 people.

The cash gifts were considered what they were...gifts...I dont remember being appalled at smaller amounts or upset or even thinking too much about it to be quite honest.

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Reha, if you put the line on your card at the wedding , it's okay. No one's judging you, so no need to explain. It's not like we get a card with the line on it and lose sleep over it.

...we all do something tacky in our life. ...where talking abt the general "no boxed gifts" line on the card and if it's tacky or not...

i vote tacky...
You vote...practical, and there's a point of view on that, i understand. but there's also another valid point of view too, abt why other's feel otherwise, and it's not because guests are some cheap, stingy, ppl who like to backbite every chance they get..