No boxed gifts please

Lifestyle Wedding, Fashion & Beauty
481

The thing is most ppl don't really care...like me...I don't really care, if the couple put it's on the card...I'll pay my standard gift $ either way. I probably won't even notice.. but when you're going to bringing to my attention by making a forum out of it..well your gonna get what ppl think on passing abt it...

We all pass judgment... when a bride where's something you don't like... haven't you once said/thought "nah, i don't think I'm going to where that style/or that color at my wedding" or if they pierce their nose at their wedding, I've thought a lot of times "nah I don't think i'm going to that"....or if they invite a belly dancer that only wore a bra- would you really think it's that wrong for people to think, that was "tacky, and wouldn't do it at my wedding"? or talk abt it?

same here if they put "no boxed gifts"..i'm going to think, "nah i wouldn't that at my wedding..."

it's no different!

482

^I agree with you.

We all pass judgment, we all have criticisms and opinions. There's nothing wrong with expressing them, but there's a way to do it properly.

I'm pretty much like you. I have my opinions, but I keep my mouth shut when it's not my business. I really don't care what people do. But this is when I do care...when it turns into gossip. When someone is at their best friend's wedding and saying obnoxious things about the bride's choice of outfit just a few tables away from the bridal stage. Or when the mother of the bride is running around like a lunatic and all her helpful relations do is criticize every aspect of the wedding and how it's run in between bites of samosas and biryaani. It's ok to have opinions and critiques...but the way you express them...that's where you have to be careful.

I'm with you...not really a fan of the "no boxed gift" line. I expressed this to my family as well and it was kept out of the wedding invites. I'll express it to anyone who asks my opinion in general...but I won't put somebody down for including it either.

That's all I was trying to say. Wasn't trying to put you down or anything. :)

483

Yeah, I know what you mean!!! lol- you dont need to explain!your too nice too put anyone down :) And I agree abt the** gossip** DURING the wedding, or naming ppl when expressing your views abt every action in weddings- that's when it becomes wrong and falls into gossip....like my mom says...if you think the samosas are that horrible then just leave!

484

Re: "No boxed gifts."

^ Yah actually I don't think I've ever discussed it, except when asked about the topic here. I certainly wouldn't bring it up at the wedding or anything of the sort.

Out of curiosity, what do you guys do when it's someone your age or a friend of yours? I feel awkward giving money, partly cuz it feels like an auntie/uncle thing to do, and partly because I'm never sure how much to give. Plus I feel like if it's a close friend, shouldn't it be something more personal? In those situations, I've done gift cards, but do the rest of you feel weird giving money to friends?

485

Re: "No boxed gifts."

Personally I think its tacky how some of you put your opinions across. Tacky and disrespectful.

Luckily I don't care about people who have no etiquettes but I'm sure some of you have upset people who have written this god forsaken line on their card or have thought to.

But then again you are probably one of those girls who make every small aspect of life a matter of their pride. I can only feel sorry for husbands or husbands to be. Poor guys.

Oh well if your taste is as shocking as your manners then you will probably buy the most hideous outfits and get laughed at either way by the entire family without the help of 'no boxed gifts' lol.

486

actually, it DOES mean you are asking them to A) bring something and B) bring something specific, i.e. cash. you're not saying "if *you are coming, bring cash" (not that that's very nice either). you are saying "*when you come, bring cash" right along with "if you don't bring cash, don't bother coming".
you are being presumptuous and rude. that is all there is to that. you can sugar coat it any which way you want, but you do come across as incredibly demanding and obnoxious. your guests haven't asked you to host them at a $100 plate event with expensive decor at a fancy hotel- that is your choice. to expect your guests to pay for your choice is ludicrous. and if you feel like these people are doing you a favour by attending your expensive event, then why bother inviting them??

again, it isn't a question of useful gift or useless gift, its the thought that no matter what someone brings, it is a GIFT for you, a favour. they didn't have to bring anything, but they chose to bring something. whatever it is, you accept it graciously and move on with your life. if you don't like it, give it to charity. this is not like going to a club and paying cover- there, you are payingfor the privilege of dancing the night away. your wedding is where you have the privilege of hosting your guests, not the other way around. no one is going to feel special because you were gracious enough to extend an invitation to your wedding and therefore feel obligated to bring a gift. it will be an honour for you if your invitation is accepted by your guests and if they choose to bring a gift, that's a bonus.

when you go to a wedding, honestly speaking, how much thought do you put into the gift for the couple? how much cash do you give? how often do you give cash? maybe this change in re-gifting ridiculous things hence inspiring the use of this line, and instead gifting useful things whether they be cash or otherwise, will change when we decide to change our own behaviour.

my rule of thumb is, if you can't say it to their face, don't say it on your envelope. so if you're the kind of person who feels comfortable enough to ring up everyone on your list and tell them that you want ONLY cash as a gift and if they were planning to bring something else, to not bother coming, then go right ahead and write it on your invites. but if you don't have the guts to/or think its bad manners to do so face to face or over the phone, then don't write it on your invites.

487

Re: "No boxed gifts."

  1. You are not saying YOU MUST give me a gift
  2. You are NOT saying otherwise don't bother... Jeez! You are purely just saying 'no boxed gifts' haha
488

Re: "No boxed gifts."

I do hope none of you studied past GCSE's. Your uni grades would have appalling if you analyse 'no boxed gifts' as the above essay stated. Damn.

489

we've given cash and i feel fine with it. as stated before in this discussion, its the most helpful thing for friends of our age who are just starting out and generally speaking, the closer they are to us, the more money we give. the same was true for our own gifts from friends our age when our wedding rolled around. if they're very close friends, we usually give $400-$500 (siblings and close cousins generally get more since they're family), otherwise, its usually $100-$150 or something off their registry.

490

Re: “No boxed gifts.”

LOL. I;m sure distinctivflair will consider it offensive… So lets just give her a heads up to not read it, else it might give her a heart attack.

Urban dictionary: “Seen on wedding invitations, the couple are frankly demanding cash gifts. This has become a trend in desi culture, mostly among Pakistanis. It is considered bad etiquette and a faux pas by most people, since it is rude to mention gifts in wedding invitations at all.”

491

Except you ARE saying that because why else would you talk about gifts unless you expected one? D’oh! Maybe we should just revise the line to say “If you decide to honour us with your presence, please bring a cash gift.” :rolleyes:

492

100% agreed!!!!If you can't say what;s on the card in person...then there's something wrong with the line....Remember the old communication rule!

493

Re: "No boxed gifts."

I don't care but all I am saying is talk with a bit of respect. This is a wedding forum full of panicked and excited girls from all over the world. Why not be considerate and consultative rather than rude.

Just a thought.

494

Re: "No boxed gifts."

^ sorry but didn't you just make a snarky GCSE-essay related comment yourself three posts ago?? lol

495

Re: "No boxed gifts."

DF- oh plz! are you going to start with the crocodile tears now? Grow a spine!

496

Re: "No boxed gifts."

If the sentence was saying what your implying groovychick then it would say
'Cash gift necessary for entrance'

Go get an education. Sheesh.

497

and the "feel sorry for the husband, husband to be"?lol indeed!

498

Re: "No boxed gifts."

here we go again with the snarkiness.

and actually, i was trying to demonstrate the "politeness" that you say is part of "no boxed gifts please" but in a more direct way. so none of your guests are confused at all about your intentions.

499

Re: "No boxed gifts."

I have been to so many weddings with this on the card and I have heard nobody backbiting but I have heard people say how much easier this new trend has made things. I know my mum hates buying gifts in case she gets the wrong thing or that person already has it so its a relief when you can just give what you can in a sealed envelope whether that's nothing or a fiver that way you know what you have given has gone to some use because people will always give gifts at a wedding so to assume you are expecting something taboo is slightly outrageous. I don't know if I haven't been to many weddings to know enough or if most of you just have bad experience of family that always backbites you.

500

Wtf are you talking about?! Lol