No boxed gifts please

Lifestyle Wedding, Fashion & Beauty
381

I think the reason that people get worried when they see "no boxed gifts" is because of the gossip that will ensue.

Sometimes you can luck out at the store and get a really classy and expensive looking gift in the clearance section. Or you may have a coupon that will help you get that beautiful dinner set for your best friend's wedding at a price that won't break the bank.

But when it's "no boxed gifts" twenty dollars is twenty dollars. Fifty dollars is fifty dollars. There's no dressing it up or making it look like more than it really is. And I know that a lot of times, if it isn't a certain amount, people talk. And they'll talk without really putting themselves in the other person's shoes...because $20 may seem cheap to you, but it's not so cheap to the family where the husband has lost his job and there are a bunch of kids to support on one unemployment check. Fifty dollars may seem like very little from that guy in the big name law firm, but most of his paycheck is used to pay off hundreds of thousands in law school loans...whatever is left after that is for rent and ramen noodles.

That's not to say that there aren't people who can afford it but still give a stingy amount. There are definitely some scrooges out there. But for most of us, especially with the economy, it's getting harder and harder to afford extras like wedding gifts and it becomes just a bit more difficult when we see the "no boxed gifts" and fear the backlash if we don't give the "right" amount.

382

Re: "No boxed gifts."

this topic comes up every so often, and my answer remains the same, if someone sends me a no boxed gifts invite, they are getting their gift in a brown paper bag.

383

We always give cash at weddings anyways regardless of what the card says BUT I still hate seeing cards that say no boxed gifts, I just find it soo tacky. I think most people these days will give you cash anyways, you dont have to write it. And some people who want to give you a gift will still give it, even if you write it. So better to just not write it, you will most likely still get cash from the majority anyways!

384

I LIKE this idea. I will make sure my place is all ready for us to move into. That way, my mom can tell people that him and I are so excited we have bought EVERTYHING we'll need. Giving people a hint that we don't need any appliances etc. But I am pretty sure I won't have the money to do a wedding AND furnish the place. :(

Meh, registry will have to do.

385

couldnt have said it better!

386

Re: "No boxed gifts."

sheesh there seriously isnt wrong with "no boxed gifts" some people might just not want all that mess around the tables in the wedding halls or something...theres nothing wrong with it..desis r just cheap and hate when it comes to paying...thats all

387

I'm so sorry your cousin's guests spent their hard earned money burdening her gifts that she deemed inappropriate or useless. Clearly she had a right to dictate exactly what offerings her guests brought her.

Honestly, if you can't be bothered to transport the gifts your guests bring you, then do something respectable and ask them to make a donation on your behalf to charity of your choice. Demanding money otherwise is tacky, unsophisticated, and demonstrates a lack of basic manners.

388

Re: "No boxed gifts."

for the first time in our lives and in the community we live in, we were the ones who wrote on the card no gifts pls we just need your duaas and blessings to start our new lives and made it a point that there would be no arrangements for gifts.... guess what I came home happy ...coz I didn't see all the useless presents ppl like to get rid of..... I am sorry I don't want you to pay for your dinner and a little over like the italians but you could've gone to some other store other than the dollar store..... and guess what most ppl didn't bring a gift or give me cash.... the ones who were close just put what they were happy with in an envelope and that is that....
we didn't do it to ask for cash.... but I did it to avoid getting mad at the gifts I got.... and I am sorry but our community living outside of North america still hasn't learnt that sometimes it is ok to call up the bride or groom or her/his family and ask them if they need anything...gift registeries are not a concept that has come up in asia yet ...... I make it a point to call up ppl and ask them what they need ....if they are hesitant or have everything then I give them cash...... but sadly that is not returned so to make myself happy..... I don't want lousy gifts and I am ok with not getting cash either...

389

To each is their own so neither is it, tacky, unsophisticated, manner less, and nor is it a "dictation." Its helps in saving people of having to go through a burden of their own trying to get something for you that you wouldn't be able to be put to proper use....And shipping two closet full of presents and boxes over seas, especially those items where the appliances that you have been given won't even work in another country? I won't even bother with that comment...

But since you mention it, I think the wine or champagne bottles are still sitting in the closet in her parents home, I can send those to you since you would probably be able find a use for them. They're is probably a set of wine glasses in there as well, I can send those off to. :) Really its no trouble..

390

Thank you!! You did a great thing and it is definitely a first time of hearing that being put on an invite. Good for you and your family! :)

391

Re: "No boxed gifts."

enough ppl have said (and i agree) that implying or expecting that your guests should give you a gift, that too in cash is tacky tacky tacky.

392

Re: "No boxed gifts."

Haven't seen any at any wedding held here and I don't think that people would adopt a 'No boxed Gifts' policy here.

393

lol love it

394

Some people simply don't understand the no drinking policy as many times as I have explained it to co-workers they still dont understand... the same way we dont understand or accept the fact that they do drink... everyone is different...and as well as you have put that suggestion... who seriously writes that much on a wedding invitation regarding the gift policy....

If you want to write no boxed gifts write it, if you dont you dont... it's your wedding... you have the right to put whatever your heart desires on your invitation... and if certain people are offended by it they dont have to bring anything or even show up... your friends and family know you well enough to know what you mean by it...and if anyone finds it tacky... please just close your eyes... :)

395

We did that for our wedding because we weren't sure where we will be moving and living. I don't think it's wrong or tacky if you word it right. We wrote a very nice statement where we said that the couple needs your dua however if you wish to give something we request no boxed gifts please. Infact it's quiet common in our community here :)..

396

What ridiculous logic. "To each their own" - I suppose that also covers showing up late, making backhanded comments about the bride at the wedding, and stealing food from the buffet to take home with you. Heck, I guess there really is nobsuch thing as "good manners" according to you.

It really is unfortunate to see people going to such great lengths to justify uncouth, money grubbing behavior.

I know a number of couples who were in a similar situation. Many had gift registries that automatically shipped their gifts to their new address. Others did what I recommended in my previous post - they asked their guests to make a donation to their favorite charity. No gifts to haul, and you don't come off as a greedy and lacking even the most basic manners. It's a win win situation.

397

Mmmm I'm not to sure about what the guest knew or didn't know. But how can her family be open to the drinking? We're Pakistani. But they could of been her father's works friends, friend of the bride and groom, so its definitely not their fault if they didn't know but I'm assuming that they did and brought it anyways because most of the guest were all long time friends. Thats the thing...people bring whatever they want you know? Regardless of wether something is written or not, known or not....sometimes the gifts can be put to use, sometimes they just can't. But your suggestion is a good one because I can understand the wording of the statment can come off inconsiderate but its true that invitations only have so much room on there so its just a simple line to suggest the preferance. Either way, its up to each and every family if their comfortable with it after all they are the hosts. We don't feel any kind of reservation about it because every wedding have gone to in the past couple of years includes that satement and its not a big deal here. It really depends on your crowd. In the begining people had their opinions about it but when it came to be their turn, a lot of people realized it just the most practical thing for everyone so its its common. Some are cool with it, other are not and thats completely up to each family's judgement as what they feel is the best thing for them. :)

398

Re: "No boxed gifts."

I agree Sana.

399

Like I said...to each is their own and your entitled to your opinion. I happen to disagree with you so wether it ridicoulous or inappropriate to you..its makes no difference to me because its the most reasonable thing for my family and my fiances family. Money definitely is not the issue mashallah se and nor are we greedy for money?...just thinking practically for our selves. After all its is our wedding at the end of the day. Our guest know us well enough to know what kind of people we are and also know we hold no expectations from them and they can do what they feel is in their means and there is abolsutely nothing wrong with that. So yeah.. I guess I don't know anything about good manners. ..?

[quote="janab-e-ali, post:475, topic:218398"]

What ridiculous logic. "To each their own" - I suppose that also covers showing up late, making backhanded comments about the bride at the wedding, and stealing food from the buffet to take home with you. Heck, I guess there really is nobsuch thing as "good manners" according to you.

It really is unfortunate to see people going to such great lengths to justify uncouth, money grubbing behavior.

400

donate it to shelters, salvation army, refugee service organizations,
they will be used there rather than collecting dust in a closet.