Re: "No boxed gifts."
I previously thought it was really tacky as well.... But planning a wedding is very expensive... and I know we could use all the help we can get...
Re: "No boxed gifts."
I guess everyone has their own opinion on this matter. In the end everyone should do what is best for them...
Then give money -- nothing wrong with that. What IS wrong is requesting it from your guests.
Exactly!!!! Don't ask for/demand cash - in this day and age, most people will give you cash anyhow.
It's been said before, but I will say it again. You are not obligated to invite 500 people to your wedding. You are not obligated to wear designer attire to your wedding, have the function at the poshest location, serve 15 items on the menu, go to the most exotic location for your honeymoon. If you want any of these things AND can afford it, more power to you. Host a wedding you can afford and invite people who will celebrate your happiness with you.
Demanding a gift is tacky. In fact expecting a gift is tacky as well. There are many people out there who want to celebrate in your happiness but cannot afford an expensive gift or are uncomfortable giving cash because it looks too "cheap" (the amount they can afford to give becomes apparent and may not be enough). Why put your guests in such a predicament. Those who know you well, will give you something you appreciate (and it may be cash), those who don't, shouldn't be coming to your wedding - the guest's should not be paying your way into married life.
All one should expect are the kind duas and well wishes of the people attending. Anything more you get is bonus.
I so agree with you...i mean y do you have to invite ppl you have never even met???? The only ppl who should be at a wedding are ppl who genuinely want to see u happy!!!! And what they give...maybe gifts or blessings will be given from the heart!!!
Re: "No boxed gifts."
As true as this is... you are not the only one making this decision... not inviting people to your wedding can break relationships.... just because you are ok with not inviting the whole world... doesnt mean your spouse will be ok with it and his family will be ok with it. A wedding is not a one person decision. Many families have to come together before you come up with the final product.
Re: "No boxed gifts."
All true. That does not legitimize demanding money from your guests. Most people give money, but that's up to them.
As true as this is... you are not the only one making this decision... not inviting people to your wedding can break relationships.... just because you are ok with not inviting the whole world... doesnt mean your spouse will be ok with it and his family will be ok with it. A wedding is not a one person decision. Many families have to come together before you come up with the final product.
I went to a wedding last year - the first wedding in over 18 months without the "no boxed gifts" written on the invite. The gift table was empty!!! No one brought a boxed gift because they know that cash is useful for the newly married couple. But compared to all of the other weddings where people wrote "no boxed gifts" - there was no grumbling and the guests were happy to give cash. At the weddings where it is expressly written, people b*tch and complain because they hate being told what to do.
Re: "No boxed gifts."
People hate being told what to do... Sounds like a personal problem to me.... lol....
I know that the "no boxed gifts" is increasingly popular amongst desis and some of the people on this board may have included it on their invite. So at the risk of offending some (well actually I'm not overly concerned about the offense), to Sahar's point that the "request" isn't even a complete sentence, I've a suggestion on making the request a complete sentence and actually saying what you mean when you say "no boxed gifts".
**"Dear guests (and we're not referring to our friends and family since they know us well enough to know what we do or do not need), for the privilege of accepting our invitation to attend our wedding, we require you to make a cash contribution. Please, no checks as they may bounce and we have got an immediate need for the cash to make payments to our photographer, the hotel and for our honeymoon plus all of the sundry costs associated with a wedding. **
With any money that is leftover, we may buy a car or put it towards a down payment on a home we will never invite you to since we do not know you well enough to continue our acquaintance.
Thank you and gift generously."
This will prevent any confusion for those guests who may mistake "no boxed gifts" as meaning "we're ecofriendly and do not want the gifts from coming in any extra packaging."
Re: “No boxed gifts.”
^:omg:
**"Dear guests (and we're not referring to our friends and family since they know us well enough to know what we do or do not need), for the privilege of accepting our invitation to attend our wedding, we require you to make a cash contribution. Please, no checks as they may bounce and we have got an immediate need for the cash to make payments to our photographer, the hotel and for our honeymoon plus all of the sundry costs associated with a wedding. **
With any money that is leftover, we may buy a car or put it towards a down payment on a home we will never invite you to since we do not know you well enough to continue our acquaintance.
Thank you and gift generously."
This will prevent any confusion for those guests who may mistake "no boxed gifts" as meaning "we're ecofriendly and do not want the gifts from coming in any extra packaging."
LOL! i love it! :D
if only i could have used it on my weddings cards :p
Re: "No boxed gifts."
To each their own but I dont think it should be such a big deal to gift the money you would be spending on their present. Its their big day, not anyone else's. The gift is for them, so why not give them something they can use and enjoy? Like cash? Why shove whatever you want to on them? I havent seen many brides/grooms be rude about presents they get so thats not the issue. The issue is trying to do something nice for the bride and groom. If you're going through the trouble, why not make it to their liking? Why not?
To each their own but I dont think it should be such a big deal to gift the money you would be spending on their present. Its their big day, not anyone else's. The gift is for them, so why not give them something they can use and enjoy? Like cash? Why shove whatever you want to on them? I havent seen many brides/grooms be rude about presents they get so thats not the issue. The issue is trying to do something nice for the bride and groom. If you're going through the trouble, why not make it to their liking? Why not?
Because the wedding is already to the liking of the couple and their family. The bride and groom choose the venue (might be 2 hours from where I live), choose the food (which I may not care for), choose whether to invite the couple with or without the kids (means guests must find childcare), may choose a seating plan (I'm sitting with people I don't know or may not like) - and now they're choosing my token of happiness for them? Where's my choice or will in all of this?
And it's not just a desi thing. Italians are notorious for cash gifts. They will throw the most elaborate wedding and the rule of thumb is that the guests must pay for the cost of attending (per head) PLUS throw in a gift. So the $100/plate weddings will cost a couple about $300 to attend the wedding.
I am not so fond of my Italian acquaintances that I want to shell out $300 for the priviliege of attending their wedding.
But I digress, as you said, to each his own...
Re: "No boxed gifts."
I give cash as its much more appreciated than a gift.
Re: "No boxed gifts."
^like I said, no one's saying it's a bad gift. it's a great gift!
Re: "No boxed gifts."
Guys I'm currently in the motion of planning my own wedding it will be in Hilton Waldorf in London. Now in regards to invitations saying 'no boxed gifts' I knew this was so that you dont end up getting 4 kettles for example but I thought it was also a security thing that the hotel demanded so in my head I was thinking its widely known to be written on cards as a demand from the hotel. So thats not the case then and its just an obvious statement saying 'give me money!??' :D
Re: "No boxed gifts."
There's nothing wrong with writing no boxed gifts on an invitation. It is widely accepted in our community and now that it has become very common to see it on invitations, it has for the most part become understood that people prefer cash. So most, now a days do bring cash, but then there are still those who will bring the odd gift that will just be sitting in your home with no use. So writing it on an invite is just a reminder mainly for those people. At least it here in my city...
My cousin received so much useless stuff on her wedding, I can't even begin to tell you. After her wedding we went through the gifts which were from 500 and some guests and a lot of them were absolutely useless for the family. She even got champagne and wine from some of their non-desi attendants. Now what are they possibly to do with all that stuff...especially since she was moving to Dubai two days after the wedding?... Its been three years and to this day both of the guest room closets in her parents home are filled to the top with these boxes of gifts that no one really knows what to do with. (I actually took a waffle maker that makes waffles that looks like roses!) She lost out on that one lol...
Re-gifting gifts is another issue all on its own so what are the options that avoid that sort of thing?
Its not about demanding for a gift, because your not "asking" for the cash by implying "no boxed gifts". When it comes to weddings in ANY culture, brown, white, chinese and etc..bringing a gift for the hosts of the party/ wedding is a universal tradition because gifts are a symbol of a celebration and their traditionally thought of as your own unique blessings that you are bringing and leaving for your hosts/couple. So its understood that the gift giving will be taking place and that people WILL BE bringing something with them. No one shows up to weddings empty handed. After all, shaadion mein layna daina to hota hai and everyone knows that. So now in these days writing it on invitation cards is just a practicality thing for the people on the receiving end. Cash is useful to everyone, a toaster and waffle maker may not be. So in this day and age, thats all that statement implies...practicality. Its not "asking" but more of an implication that the boxed gifts may not the best suited for a couple who will be moving over seas, or away to another city right after the wedding and also even for those staying, that cash would be most appreciated as opposed to something that they may not have any use for.
As the couple and family receiving all these gifts, you also feel bad because if you can't make use for any of those items, thenn it was a waste of time for the people who gave it to you as well.
Thats really the way I see it...practicality in favour for making it easier for everyone.
I'm in Canada and the day after my wedding I'm heading to the states for good, plus on top of that my wedding is in Toronto, when I actually live in Ottawa so there is absolutely no point in people bringing gifts for me because I won't be able to take them back with me. So we wrote no boxed gifts and everyone is totally okay with that. We all learned after my cousins wedding that its just the most reasonable thing to do, for everyone.
Now there are some who bring boxed gifts with them anyway, even if it is written and that is fine too because people will do what they can and writing it is not an obligation, just a suggestion.
Thats how our community sees it. Everyone writes it, and its no biggie..
Re: "No boxed gifts."
Somehow I'm pretty cool seeing "no boxed gifts" on invites. It relieves me of looking for an ideal present or spending time going through their resigtry and picking out what is left or what I can afford. Cash is simple and I can give as much. I could also give a gift certificate.
I really like that idea...but that's lazy ol' me :(
Re: "No boxed gifts."
Well me and my fiancee have just about furnished our new home to be. Mum and dad also gave alot. It would be such a waste if guests turned up with appliances like coffee makers and toasters for example.
I say yai to the 'no boxed gifts'
Re: “No boxed gifts.”
:k: no boxed gifts … if you expect them …
why would anyone give gifts anyways ??? the family has probably given that stuff anyways …
salamis are cool yo! stick with them!