Re: Nikkah is MARRIAGE
faida or nuqsan, depending on how you see it 
Re: Nikkah is MARRIAGE
hmmm Hope ur other half is not on GS 
I see that you are in state of denial. Bhai sahab Ap married ho 
Re: Nikkah is MARRIAGE
hmmm Hope ur other half is not on GS I
My other half is fully on GS :D
Re: Nikkah is MARRIAGE
My other half is fully on GS :D
Gud luck then :p
Yes NIKAH IS MARRIAGE :D
Re: Nikkah is MARRIAGE
Then why this break of 2 - 4 yrs? Because your not settled or your still studying? In that case, why don't you wait out that period,
there can be more reasons. If groom is in USA and bride is in Pakistan and he needs to start a paper work for her immigration he needs to show her as his legal wife. US govt does not issue fiance visas (at least not for Pakistanis)
Re: Nikkah is MARRIAGE
there can be more reasons. If groom is in USA and bride is in Pakistan and he needs to start a paper work for her immigration he needs to show her as his legal wife. US govt does not issue fiance visas (at least not for Pakistanis)
But 2-4 years is too much. If the guy is a citizen, it would not take 2-4 years as per my knowledge. 6 months is enough I guess for citizens to apply for wife's green card. If the guy himself is on green card, it might take him much longer. Then 2-4 years wait makes sense. The guy should be sincere with the girl and her family about the time he will be taking before the rukhsati is done because it will be hell for the girl and family waiting for the rukhsati and keep hanging in the middle for no specific time period.
Re: Nikkah is MARRIAGE
People legitimitely use it as a way to interact with the other sex and plan for the future without doing haram things. The problem is that people see it as if it is not as serious as "real" marriage. And if problems occur during the nikkah period, they are more comfortable breaking it off.
The other thing is the movements of the bride and groom become restricted after the nikkah, as parents are in the "what will people say? ruksati is not done yet" mode. And they can't technically stop them from doing whatever they want, as they are married now. it becomes a weird, awkward state.
Completely agree. This was the case with me. As far as myself and my family were concerned, our nikkah = marriage. But as far as his parents were concerned, especially his mother, it was no more than an engagement (she even introduced me as his fiance after the nikkah). Those few weeks post the nikkah where I stayed in there house were *very *weird. When I came back, people kept asking when the Rukhsati is.
Nikkah in Islam is very simple, you don't even need an Imam to perform it. Even Walima isn't a farz; it's good that people do this sunnah but it's not in the same vein as it was intended. In fact, Islamically, if there is a gathering taking place after the nikkah, this constitutes a walima. People have constructed all this other stuff for god knows what reason. Like so what if you have the nikkah and don't start living together?? Why should that mean you still have to be strangers with one another?
Re: Nikkah is MARRIAGE
Completely agree. This was the case with me. As far as myself and my family were concerned, our nikkah = marriage. But as far as his parents were concerned, especially his mother, it was no more than an engagement (she even introduced me as his fiance after the nikkah). Those few weeks post the nikkah where I stayed in there house were *very *weird. When I came back, people kept asking when the Rukhsati is.
Nikkah in Islam is very simple, you don't even need an Imam to perform it. Even Walima isn't a farz; it's good that people do this sunnah but it's not in the same vein as it was intended. In fact, Islamically, if there is a gathering taking place after the nikkah, this constitutes a walima. People have constructed all this other stuff for god knows what reason. Like so what if you have the nikkah and don't start living together?? Why should that mean you still have to be strangers with one another?
I guess you are not meant to stay with the in-laws after just the nikah? At least it does not commonly happen in our desi society.
Re: Nikkah is MARRIAGE
I guess you are not meant to stay with the in-laws after just the nikah? At least it does not commonly happen in our desi society.
Why not? I was married. :)
If people don't want to give this scared union the respect it deserves, it's their problem. Btw, I never had a rukhsati and neither will any of my siblings. We hope to start a new-old trend.
Re: Nikkah is MARRIAGE
But 2-4 years is too much. If the guy is a citizen, it would not take 2-4 years as per my knowledge.
what if the guy is not a citizen and just a green card holder?
Re: Nikkah is MARRIAGE
I originally wanted to have a nikkah first and then rukhsati when I was done with school and then the two of us would decide where to live, since we lived in different countries. (I won’t lie, part of hte appeal was that I wanted all those functions and dressing up and planning for a wedding :hinna:
) but my parents pressured me into having a regular wedding and all and then we could live together when we were ready.
(yes I know how it sounds…I was ready to have a wedding but not to live together but oh well).
SO i had the full wedding, nikkah, rukhsati, valima etc, even went on a honeymoon, but we didn’t live together for another year and a half. In between I visited for weeks/months…I think this was good in a way because nobody had objections to it. People did talk that why we weren’t living together jab rukhsati ho gi ti and when are we gonna live together and all, and I will say those first 2 years were rough, but then no situation is without its problems.
Honestly I don’t see the point of a nikkah and then delayed rukhsati and its sad that “nikkah” isn’t recognized as a real marriage in our culture and there’s still so many restrictions after…
Re: Nikkah is MARRIAGE
Decent order of events
Nikah > Rukhsati > Pregnancy
Screwed up order of events
Pregnancy > Rukhsati > Nikah
Re: Nikkah is MARRIAGE
Nikkah > pregnancy > Rukhsati. 
Re: Nikkah is MARRIAGE
The only good i see of nikkah+pregnancy without ruksati is that the kids can get to be part of your big day :p. Hah. I wonder if that ever happened?! hmm. Euwwwwww? 
Re: Nikkah is MARRIAGE
^ that! 
though pregnancy after nikkah is perfectly ok …
rukhsati is just cultural silliness
Re: Nikkah is MARRIAGE
Um, what's so "ewwwwww" about that?
Re: Nikkah is MARRIAGE
OK islamically, not ok socially
Re: Nikkah is MARRIAGE
why is that ewww??
after nikkah one is 100% within their rights to consummate. we all have GOT TO differentiate tween religion and culture!
Re: Nikkah is MARRIAGE
Actually i agree, kids at a wedding, even their own parents, is quite gross. I mean...how dare they come to this world?
Re: Nikkah is MARRIAGE
why is that ewww??
after nikkah one is 100% within their rights to consummate. we all have GOT TO differentiate tween religion and culture!
I just think it's weird, each to their own. It has nothing to do with what Islam says on it or what culture expects.