Nikkah is MARRIAGE

Lifestyle Relationships
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Re: Nikkah is MARRIAGE

What is the point of this topic? Do some people think Nikkah is not marriage, if so then what do they think it is? Just wondering.

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Re: Nikkah is MARRIAGE

Lol! exactly!

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Re: Nikkah is MARRIAGE

Most people think it is an engagement period which is halal, in which the guy and girl can date and no one can scold and stop them. But they should know that the husband should start to bear his wife's responsibilities after nikah which he is not required to do after the engagement.

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Re: Nikkah is MARRIAGE

Yes, but should a girl & guy be stopped from meeting each other once their Nikah is done?

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Re: Nikkah is MARRIAGE

[QUOTE]
My only concern is that the form/event/act of 'rukhsati' is just cultural and not religious right?
[/QUOTE]

Yes.

[QUOTE]
So when a guy has taken the girl under his nikkah and their islamically marriage why not do the full lot and be married married then and there.
[/QUOTE]

Depends, they may be young. Or the guy isn't settled yet. He doesn't have a stable job. Or the girl is still studying. So, they live in their parents's home for the time being. But, they can talk over the phone, internet, go out, even spend time alone. It's halal.

[QUOTE]
In that case, why don't you wait out that period, then get married? Because you can't date then? If that's the case, then why is Nikkah these days used as a liscence to date in the modern world?
[/QUOTE]

Because that's a long time to wait out. Too much waiting might lead them to do something out of limit. It's also against the Sunnat, too. It's better to get married (nikah) as soon as the jori is fixed.
What's wrong with nikah being used as a date? It makes the interaction halal.

[QUOTE]
but is there a limit to how long a Nikkah remains when the husband and wife are 'separated' before it can be nullified? I mean isn't that whats happeneing, boy & girl have nikkah but their live in thier own house and not together?
[/QUOTE]

No, because they are both consenting to this. It will only be nullified if one of them disappears without telling the other one for more than 6 mothns (I think thats the limit).

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Re: Nikkah is MARRIAGE

No one can stop a legal husband and wife to meet. In fact, islamically, they shudn't date before nikah. But they can after the nikah. And nikah is not done solely for the purpose of dating.

If the guy and girl can get rukhsati immediately, it is suspicious as why only nikah is being done (if there is no visa issues etc). This may mean whether the guy wants to save on meeting the expenses of his wife (which is technically wrong because after nikah, he should bear the expenses), or the guy is not serious in marriage at all and just want to have halal dating period through nikah.

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Re: Nikkah is MARRIAGE

↑Lol, that's not really dating. More like husband and wife going out together.

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Re: Nikkah is MARRIAGE

Yes it is. But it is considered more like halal dating in our society. If the husband is not meeting his wife's expenses and only takes her for outings, it is like dating. He should meet her expenses and and consider his wife his responsibility. I have not seen a single nikahfied husband sending monthly amount as expenses to his wife. When I asked my aunty why my cousin's nikahfied husband is not sending her the money, she said: 'aray beta kahan hota hai'. And they were hesitant in asking the husband for expenses also.

If expenses are paid by husband in any case, all well and good.

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Re: Nikkah is MARRIAGE

Lol.

I guess, you're right.

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Re: Nikkah is MARRIAGE

Why people are nikahfied rather than Engagement? If that is the question then the answer is so that boy and girl can meet easily and no one will criticize them in our society. You all know that boys and girls not only talk on phone after engagement but they want to meet as well. AS a fiancee's people think that is wrong. So they go for Nikah option so there would be no issues in future. I have seen a family where a girl's father was very irresponsible man and living in interior Sindh and family was here in our neighbors. In her mother's life she got a proposal from her class fellow. But before thing got finalized, mother died. So after her death Elders of her family (Taya, chacha) decided to get them nikahfied so that guy can come and go any time and people wouldn't talk about them (at that time girl couldn't got married means rukhsati as she had a younger sisters as her responsibility). Nyways but still she got stares from neighbors when he came at their place.

I think Ashy it is girls fault if husband is not paying her anything. If girls can discuss anything with her husband including future planning and kids, why don't they discuss their right with him. Why they don't ask him to pay her monthly allowance. Girls should discuss this with him.

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Re: Nikkah is MARRIAGE

Since monthly allowance is such a big deal....then why do girls complain when the guy says he should be able to make money before doing the nikah??

so it is like this

  1. The guy should not marry early until he is able to meet wife's expenses...since she becomes his responsibiity......

AND

  1. The guy should marry the girl early so that he doesn't take her for granted and don't hesitate with her..or lead her on.

Thats what you girls saying right??

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Re: Nikkah is MARRIAGE

It's not a test-run, it **can't **be taken lightly either... but in some situations where a serious commitment is required and the couple is ready to make the commitment but just need a little time to settle themselves it's a great option.

...and yes, nikkah* is* marriage.

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Re: Nikkah is MARRIAGE

oh I thought nikah is dovirce

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Re: Nikkah is MARRIAGE

Lol.

Good one :p

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Re: Nikkah is MARRIAGE

I don't like nikkah without ruksati, unless ofcourse there is a valid reason for it otherwise it just complicates things.

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Re: Nikkah is MARRIAGE

Monthly allowance is not such a hefty amount required to be paid in Islam. Its just a small amount depending on the husband's capability. Of course, the girl and her family will be agreeing on the guy's income before accepting the proposal so they would not be unreasonable on the monthly expense amount. The girl will not be wanting a separate household thus the expenses won't be huge. Its just like pocket money which the husband needs to give to thie nikahfied wife regularly.

Its just that husbands know that they are allowed to take their nikahfied wives for outing because its they Haq and right, but they forget monthly expenses responsibilities on them.

If the guy is willing to start the life immediately and there is no problem like visa, they should go for nikah + rukhsati. If only nikah is planned, nikahfied wife's responsibility should be fulfilled by the husband. If only nikah is done with the purpose of securing the rishta but the guy wants some time to get settled and do not want to bear any responsibility of his nikahfied wife, he is wrong. Thus nikah with the purpose of avoiding the wife's responsibility immediately is not technically CORRECT.

Doing nikah or nikah + rukhsati is of course the personal choice depending on specific situation.

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Re: Nikkah is MARRIAGE

Yes, and it should be straightforward and obvious. But many people do not view nikkah this way; the reason I wrote this thread is that in another one, and several other recent ones, I saw people say things like, "Why not do the nikkah now and get married next year?" People do see the nikkah as security, but seem to be dismissing it as trivial. Breaking a nikkah is serious. It is breaking a marriage.

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Re: Nikkah is MARRIAGE

People legitimitely use it as a way to interact with the other sex and plan for the future without doing haram things. The problem is that people see it as if it is not as serious as "real" marriage. And if problems occur during the nikkah period, they are more comfortable breaking it off.

The other thing is the movements of the bride and groom become restricted after the nikkah, as parents are in the "what will people say? ruksati is not done yet" mode. And they can't technically stop them from doing whatever they want, as they are married now. it becomes a weird, awkward state.

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Re: Nikkah is MARRIAGE

iss ka matlab hai k mairee shadi ho chuki hai :chai:

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Re: Nikkah is MARRIAGE

:rotfl:

Ap ko ab pata chala hai? Chalo is thread ka sab se zada faida ap ko hi hoa :smiley: