Nikkah contract

[hiccup]

Re: Nikkah contract

@WitchDr

Where did I say that I find it disgraceful to support my wife’s family. I surely will have objection living with them. If there is ever a need to support my wife’s parents, I shall do it without a second thought the same way I would do with my own parents. I would give the same respect to my parents-in-law as I have for my own parents. It seems the ladies are totally incapable of doing the same.

Yea you are right, ladies bad, bad bad bad. I suggest marrying a man. That way you marry someone as close to perfect as your good self. Its also legal now.

[shweetdreamz]

Re: Nikkah contract

^^:hehe:

[Muzna]

Re: Nikkah contract

WitchDr.,

Why do you believe that ladies are totally incapable of offering the same respect to their in-laws? And what makes you (i.e. men) capable of being fair to both sides?

Are you more intelligent? Are you more logical? Are you more balanced?
What is it?

[SolarOceans]

Re: Nikkah contract

@hiccup

Yea you are right, ladies bad, bad bad bad. I suggest marrying a man. That way you marry someone as close to perfect as your good self. Its also legal now.

[sweetpip]

Re: Nikkah contract

@Chameli420

I ama ctually gonna have that right inshaAllah :-) already spoken to him about it and he doesnt mind...

if u can already consider divorce...then perhaps u shouldn't be getting married as it seems u expect the marriage to fail.

[Fayz]

Re: Nikkah contract

You have to win the guy's confidence before you put such conditions in a contract. A statement stating 'can't living with the inlaws', especially when the guy can afford a separate place is quite dumb in my opinion.

[WitchDr]

Re: Nikkah contract

@hiccup

Yea you are right, ladies bad, bad bad bad. I suggest marrying a man. That way you marry someone as close to perfect as your good self. Its also legal now.

Thanks for your comment.

[WitchDr]

Re: Nikkah contract

@Muzna

WitchDr.,

Why do you believe that ladies are totally incapable of offering the same respect to their in-laws? And what makes you (i.e. men) capable of being fair to both sides?

There are reasons for that, IMHO. Females are naturally jealous. When it comes to a man whom they love (either in the form of a mother or a wife), they don't want to share the person with anyone else. It is a natural in-bred response. Hence, the never ending conflict between the Saas and the Bahus. In these matters, their emotionalism will always overcome their rationalism.

@Muzna

Are you more intelligent? Are you more logical? Are you more balanced? What is it?

Intelligent: No
Logical: Yes

Balanced: Depends.

There is a basic difference between how a male thinks and how a female thinks. If you are a female and you look at the way how a typical male thinks, it may not appear balanced and intelligent to you. Similarly, if you are a male and you are looking at how females think, it may not appear balanced and logical to you. To me we are designed to think differently and our combined thinking makes up the total human intelligence.

The issues start to appear when the society starts to impose restrictions on the way we are supposed to act naturally and instinctively. Religion, culture, education are few of the factors which are there to stop us from applying our natural instinct.

So if you ask me, I would say women are equally intelligent but on a different dimension.

So why so much hue & cry from me, if I have this thinking. Because we all live in this society and we have to change according to its norms.

[SolarOceans]

Re: Nikkah contract

So men are not naturally jealous? that’s news to me

[hiccup]

Re: Nikkah contract

^^ Id like to see how many men would conform to a religion that decrees a female can wed up to 4 times or how well a man would react to the wife saying “hey love, im bringing home a bf, PLUS you are to live with my parents, siblings etc” - a situation that many women have to endure.

[Sara516]

Re: Nikkah contract

^ That is such blasphemy.. sharam karo larki :p

[hiccup]

Re: Nikkah contract

Must be my inferior logic love, its not my fualt, its a devine problem.

[dope]

Re: Nikkah contract

Tafweed at talaaq.

I hate to educate the women who are incapable of abstract thought, but here is the manna from heaven y'll been wating for. Educate yourself before you scream Islam doesn't treat women right.

[musicmaniac]

Re: Nikkah contract

@dope

Tafweed at talaaq.

I hate to educate the women who are incapable of abstract thought, but here is the manna from heaven y'll been wating for. Educate yourself before you scream Islam doesn't treat women right.

dopey, i didnt get half of it.

whts tafweed and manna?

does manna= not allowed

[dope]

Re: Nikkah contract

MM,
the expression "manna from heaven" means spiritual food from the heaven that isrealites recieved while they trekked from Eqgypt to the Promised Land.

Tafweed is a way by which the wife could demand a stipulation on the nikah contract before getting married for the right to divorce the husband.

[Muzna]

Re: Nikkah contract

@WitchDr

There are reasons for that, IMHO. Females are naturally jealous. When it comes to a man whom they love (either in the form of a mother or a wife), they don’t want to share the person with anyone else. It is a natural in-bred response. Hence, the never ending conflict between the Saas and the Bahus. In these matters, their emotionalism will always overcome their rationalism.

Someone could easily come up with the suggestion that men are naturally jealous. Afterall, why would a man easily agree to financially support his own siblings or parents yet have such an issue with doing the same for his wife’s family? (I realize you have stated that this would’nt be a problem for you, but believe it or not, you are the exception.)

Furthermore, I have yet to see a man that doesn’t respond in jealousy (whether publicly expressed or implicitly suggested) when his wife shows interest/admiration in/for another male.

So to say that women are inherently jealous creatures is inaccurate to say the least.

@WitchDr

Intelligent: No
Logical: Yes

Balanced: Depends.

There is a basic difference between how a male thinks and how a female thinks. If you are a female and you look at the way how a typical male thinks, it may not appear balanced and intelligent to you. Similarly, if you are a male and you are looking at how females think, it may not appear balanced and logical to you.

So if you ask me, I would say women are equally intelligent but on a different dimension.

And all this means what? That both genders are intelligent? If yes, then both should be equally capable of understanding a simple concept. No?

Intelligence is not judged by different perspectives. There is actually a measure to it.

@WitchDr

So why so much hue & cry from me, if I have this thinking. Because we all live in this society and we have to change according to its norms.

Actually, if we use our intelligence, then we will work to change the norms if they are unjustly slanted.

[WitchDr]

Re: Nikkah contract

@Muzna

Intelligence is not judged by different perspectives. There is actually a measure to it.

This is a highly controversial topic in itself. I think it is very difficult to make a single measure of intelligence without taking into account the gender differences. Some studies might prove it otherwise (actually some do).

[WitchDr]

Re: Nikkah contract

@Muzna

And all this means what? That both genders are intelligent? If yes, then both should be equally capable of understanding a simple concept. No?

OK! Let's forget the Nikah contract here.

Well! First of all, this is my thinking and I am no scholar so I might very well be wrong.

My theory is that total human intelligence is a combination of male and female intelligence. While a major portion of their intelligence overlaps, there is a significant area where the male's and female's intelligence do not overlap.

So if you ask me that both genders should be equally capable of understanding a simple concept, my answer me would be that it depends. If the answer requires the use of that intelligence which is the overlapping intelligence in both genders, the answer will most of the time be the same.

To me if that was not the case, many species would not have survived.

[WitchDr]

Re: Nikkah contract

@Muzna

So to say that women are inherently jealous creatures is inaccurate to say the least.

I admit I made an incomplete and insensible comment. Surely, men are jealous as well. But when I dig down, it appears to me that men and women become jealous for very different reasons. To me, womens' jealousy is a proactive (or pre-emptive response) while mens' jealously is a reactive response. Which is better? Neither! But at least for men, the thing has already happened....

[Chameli420]

Re: Nikkah contract

This is so not a jealousy topic. Move ur discussions somewhee else plz. we are tying to discuss a concrete topic here!thanks!

With regards to some of the comments from u guys, well I am not going into an arranged marriage. I have known him for quiet long time now and my reason for having the statement of the divorce right is solely to make sure that I have that right. I do trust him. But I want to have my rights secured!