Re: Never thought I would share it ....
:| errm why was this bumped?
Re: Never thought I would share it …
so crap is ok??isn’t it the same thing ??..
Re: Never thought I would share it …
Hahaha, niksik niksed you! 
Re: Never thought I would share it …
OP wanted to update you all on the issue so requested for this thread to be unlocked.
Re: Never thought I would share it …
you are supposed to say “unlocked on OP’s request”…ab mujhay yeh bhi batana paray ga??? 
Re: Never thought I would share it …
bhere is the update…? 
Re: Never thought I would share it …
may aap ko mod kyun nahi bana deyti. 
I know. I should have. Sorry. Jaldi mey thi 
Re: Never thought I would share it …
bass g…aap ko qadar hi nahi…
Koi nahi khair hai…ho jata hai…mainay konsa aapko point de diya hain 
Re: Never thought I would share it ....
Paragraphs. Please.
Re: Never thought I would share it ....
sooo.whats the update??
Re: Never thought I would share it …
What is the update? I read the first post and then found its soooo old
Re: Never thought I would share it ....
Oh my, it's so painful to read you, i hope it's not as painful to live with you. either way get a divorce, if you were strong and clever enough like other people say, you wouldn't have waited for this long, he's probably cheating on you already so stop expecting that one day you'll wake up and everything ill be fine. move on !
and change your writing style ! it's pain !
Re: Never thought I would share it ....
Hi everyone
Thanks to the moderator for unlocking it.
I visited this forum after a long time yesterday and saw some of the private messages I received when I posted this. I just wanted to thank all the people who sent me private messages and wished me luck, all the people who responded here minus the people who thought it was funny, lets joke about it. All of the responses here really made me feel strong back then and gave me confidence.
As for the update, I got divorce after that. He tried his best to stop me. He said the same stuff, same crying, minnat etc etc. I was too sick of everything by that time. When crying didnt work, he told me he wont divorce me. Then he went to different people in Paki community and cried saying, " Main apna ghar basana chahata hoon. I love her and she is not giving me a chance, Can you guys pls talk to her and her parents". The surprising baat is that women came over to our house to talk to my mom kay pls bachay ko aik chance dain. My mom told the whole story to them and after knowing the WHOLE thing, they said "Beechara, Hye yae larki barii hi ziddi hay". That was the first shock for me.
He tried other weird stuff too like, " Do you wanna marry someone else? If you dont then why are you asking for divorce ?" or " Why dont you start going out and meeting other people and when u start liking someone, just let me know and I will give u divorce" or "I will go to Pakistan and make sure to make it a long procedure for you" or " Why dont you just take the Islamic one and not US one because I have only a year left to apply for my citizenship" or the best one which I later on realised was so true, " In our culture, no one blames a guy. People will only blame you because your a girl. If you even tell people that I didnt touch you, people would still blame you". I didnt get scared by anything he said and of course he knew this is not Pakistan where he can drag the process so finally it happened.
The word got out. People were shocked as I always acted happy infront of other people. I thought it was a good thing that I was being patient and trying and still keeping ghar ki baat ghar main. Well it turned out, I was making a huge mistake. Anyways so the synopsis is that a lot of people thought that I was wrong and ziddi for not giving him ANOTHER chance. It didnt matter to them when I said that he has been saying this for the past 5 years. A lot of you would think that this is so weird but he is vvvv manipulative and kissing people's a** all the time. So he has the image of a very SEEDHA larka. (But still use ur brain people ???)After divorce, he told the whole world that he was goin on a vacation as he was stressed out. When he came back in a week, he was happy and normal. I started getting news from common friends of him going to strip clubs, having sex, flirting with girls (the slutty type Paki girls, married ones). He told a friend that he liked me when he saw me as he likes beautiful THINGS but when he gets hold of them, he doesnt know what to do with them. So same way he didnt know wat to do to me. The charm was gone. Also that he was into slutty girls and I wasnt like that so he respected me, gave me money etc but thats it. All my dr. friends agreed that he had psychological problems as they have seen some patients aisay.
He and his family have been telling people the reason of divorce was that the girl was pagal. She had mental issues and she had ego problems.
I was in shock for a long long time as I have lived with him all this time and never realised he was a fraud or manipulative to this degree. I am so embarrassed to say that even when I was leaving him, he cried infront of my parents and I felt bad for him. I was naive. He got his green card thru me, paid for his tuition fees in college, got him credit cards and the list goes on and on and on.
He e mailed me one year after the divorce saying " I have realised my mistake. I was just never serious. I am sorry. Lets get married again. Abb itna bhee kya naraz hona, aisa bhe kiya kar diya main nay. I cant get over you. Everyone makes mistakes, I made one too. If your concerned what would people say, lets move to some other place".
As for me, I am better now but dont understand what happened ? I feel like I am like any other girl who is not married as we never consummated the marriage . So I came back to my parent's house just like I left their house yet I dont fall in unmarried category. I have a divorced label on me when there is no fault of mines in all this. I was always the kind of person who would stand up and say something if there is something unfair going on with some girl. I thought that it doesnt matter what people think and say and i would tell other girls in the same situation that u didnt do anything wrong, dont let anyone make you feel that way. But sadly when it happened to me I realised that it makes a difference what people say and think. It hurts like hell to know that you didnt do anything wrong but someone said this or that about you. People who dont say anything, esp desi aunties, they make sure they look at you in a way that leaves the poor girl feeling like sh*t.
I dont want to get married now EVER. I dont think all the guys are like that but I just dont know how can you tell kiskay dil main kya hay ? And I went through so much mental torture that I have no patience left in me anymore. Thank God my mom doesnt push me for marriage. I am happy and sakoon say now.
Re: Never thought I would share it ....
@ Cinnamonroll
Considering we dont know each other, that's a very rude way to talk to someone. I am very sorry that you had to go thru my post but I didnt invite you to come read and respond to that. When I wrote that post, I was in extreme depression and wasn't paying much attention to my paragraphing or my writing style.
p.s : I would still prefer my painful writing style rather than your hurtful n utterly rude style.
Re: Never thought I would share it ....
well glad you feel better now ! if you're gonna express yourself it's better to do it it a way that it is easy to read for people, at least you last post was readable, thank you for that !
Re: Never thought I would share it ....
Hi everyone
Thanks to the moderator for unlocking it.
I visited this forum after a long time yesterday and saw some of the private messages I received when I posted this. I just wanted to thank all the people who sent me private messages and wished me luck, all the people who responded here minus the people who thought it was funny, lets joke about it. All of the responses here really made me feel strong back then and gave me confidence.
As for the update, I got divorce after that. He tried his best to stop me. He said the same stuff, same crying, minnat etc etc. I was too sick of everything by that time. When crying didnt work, he told me he wont divorce me. Then he went to different people in Paki community and cried saying, " Main apna ghar basana chahata hoon. I love her and she is not giving me a chance, Can you guys pls talk to her and her parents". The surprising baat is that women came over to our house to talk to my mom kay pls bachay ko aik chance dain. My mom told the whole story to them and after knowing the WHOLE thing, they said "Beechara, Hye yae larki barii hi ziddi hay". That was the first shock for me.
He tried other weird stuff too like, " Do you wanna marry someone else? If you dont then why are you asking for divorce ?" or " Why dont you start going out and meeting other people and when u start liking someone, just let me know and I will give u divorce" or "I will go to Pakistan and make sure to make it a long procedure for you" or " Why dont you just take the Islamic one and not US one because I have only a year left to apply for my citizenship" or the best one which I later on realised was so true, " In our culture, no one blames a guy. People will only blame you because your a girl. If you even tell people that I didnt touch you, people would still blame you". I didnt get scared by anything he said and of course he knew this is not Pakistan where he can drag the process so finally it happened.
The word got out. People were shocked as I always acted happy infront of other people. I thought it was a good thing that I was being patient and trying and still keeping ghar ki baat ghar main. Well it turned out, I was making a huge mistake. Anyways so the synopsis is that a lot of people thought that I was wrong and ziddi for not giving him ANOTHER chance. It didnt matter to them when I said that he has been saying this for the past 5 years. A lot of you would think that this is so weird but he is vvvv manipulative and kissing people's a** all the time. So he has the image of a very SEEDHA larka. (But still use ur brain people ???)After divorce, he told the whole world that he was goin on a vacation as he was stressed out. When he came back in a week, he was happy and normal. I started getting news from common friends of him going to strip clubs, having sex, flirting with girls (the slutty type Paki girls, married ones). He told a friend that he liked me when he saw me as he likes beautiful THINGS but when he gets hold of them, he doesnt know what to do with them. So same way he didnt know wat to do to me. The charm was gone. Also that he was into slutty girls and I wasnt like that so he respected me, gave me money etc but thats it. All my dr. friends agreed that he had psychological problems as they have seen some patients aisay.
He and his family have been telling people the reason of divorce was that the girl was pagal. She had mental issues and she had ego problems.
I was in shock for a long long time as I have lived with him all this time and never realised he was a fraud or manipulative to this degree. I am so embarrassed to say that even when I was leaving him, he cried infront of my parents and I felt bad for him. I was naive. He got his green card thru me, paid for his tuition fees in college, got him credit cards and the list goes on and on and on.
He e mailed me one year after the divorce saying " I have realised my mistake. I was just never serious. I am sorry. Lets get married again. Abb itna bhee kya naraz hona, aisa bhe kiya kar diya main nay. I cant get over you. Everyone makes mistakes, I made one too. If your concerned what would people say, lets move to some other place".
As for me, I am better now but dont understand what happened ? I feel like I am like any other girl who is not married as we never consummated the marriage . So I came back to my parent's house just like I left their house yet I dont fall in unmarried category. I have a divorced label on me when there is no fault of mines in all this. I was always the kind of person who would stand up and say something if there is something unfair going on with some girl. I thought that it doesnt matter what people think and say and i would tell other girls in the same situation that u didnt do anything wrong, dont let anyone make you feel that way. But sadly when it happened to me I realised that it makes a difference what people say and think. It hurts like hell to know that you didnt do anything wrong but someone said this or that about you. People who dont say anything, esp desi aunties, they make sure they look at you in a way that leaves the poor girl feeling like sh*t.
I dont want to get married now EVER. I dont think all the guys are like that but I just dont know how can you tell kiskay dil main kya hay ? And I went through so much mental torture that I have no patience left in me anymore. Thank God my mom doesnt push me for marriage. I am happy and sakoon say now.
I read ur original post and this post just now, didnt realize original post was so old. I didn't have any problem reading or understanding ur posts. I am glad that you got divorce, I was gonna advise you the same after reading first post but my reasoning for recommending the divorce was that you are still young. You can get out of this relationship and experience a better relationship. However from your post #113 it seems like you have no more interest in guys which is wrong. I hope you develop your interest in guys soon and find a nice guy who can proof that not every marriage has to be so miserable.
Good Luck
Allah Haffiz
Re: Never thought I would share it ....
13Mera7 I am glad that you are doing better now. Wish you all the best in life :)
Re: Never thought I would share it ....
13Mera7, Wish you luck dear. Live your life the way you like. Study, work, have friends. Don't stop yourself from marrying again. But don't force yourself. If a good person comes along, and you know he understands you well, marry him. One bad experience should not stop you from taking more chances. Things don't turn out to be bad everytime. But for now, just live your life your way :)
Re: Never thought I would share it ....
Arrrghhh, man I have a headache from just trying to make sense of all that.
Have you not heard of PARAGRAPHS and PUNCTUATION!!
(Sorry, it really bothers me when people don't punctuate and I can't understand urdu when it's written in English!)
Rant over! :)
Re: Never thought I would share it ....
13mera7: Finally, you are in peace. May Allah bless you. Aameen.