.
Re: Never thought I would share it ....
It is too long to read . I did not read the whole story. But I read that your father is OK with you seeking a divorce. He is closer to you. He is not emotional about it. He can see the whole picture. He may be right.
Re: Never thought I would share it ....
It is very hard to read urdu in english letters and you are mixing both......
Re: Never thought I would share it ....
I think you should get a divorce. You can also get kullah. Talk to your father ad a Imam or moulvi about it
Re: Never thought I would share it ....
yeh konsi kitaab se copy and paste kia hai :s
can u just summerize it for now .. so once we know a lil then we can build upon it and look for a solution if ther is a propblem . and all u just ahve to do is keep replying to ppls questions rather than this whole massive story in one do ...
abhi tak roti hi nahi khaai main ne to yeh story in one go kesey digest ho gi
i read all of what you have written it some of the urdu i could not understand. From my opinion i say get a divorce you are still young, beautiful and intelligent. You can seriously make a go of your life again. If you continue down this path i personally think it will get worse with time. If you have no feelings other than friendship for your husband then seriously leave him. I also think your husband is being selfish he says he isn’t attracted to you so you can not consummate your marriage but he won’t divorce you.
Seriously do you want to live without love, companionship and the joy children bring. Paying for your cloths and food does not constitute a marriage in my view. Seriously do isthakhara and see what happens. Remember follow the path that you think is right for you and you alone this is the time to be selfish. Live your life with no regrets.
Re: Never thought I would share it …
Maine puuri ki puuri padhi hai..
…What you have endured till now is not small thing and you have shown good courage and faith in Allah(swt)…but some decisions are difficult but necessary to be taken…
jo 5 saal main nahi huva, you still think there is a chance??
Any parent wont want his son/daughter to go through with this..so listen, consider, and take a decision which maybe difficult now but will benifit you in the long run…
Life was given by Allah(swt) for what…to remember Him, eat,sleep, play, study, work and get married,…then have children…what else do we need??..do you really want more pain??..
If not you, then somebody else will take care of the guy you are married to(not to hurt you…but i dont consider this man to be your husband)…arre, shaadi ki hai, then it is responisbilty of both side to understand, care and love each other…if he cannot do even so much…what else can he??
Be happy…Life is to be happy and content…do you see yourself being happy with his person??..DO YOU??..if yes..then…
if no..then…
those 2 questions are for you to answer…
Jazaki Allah Kahir…Take Care…
This is NO way to live.I have never ever recommended divorce to anyone , but in your case I think it's very jaiz.
You are young now , you can get married to someone else.You're right in saying that if he says after 10 years that its not working out , phir kya?Where will you go then?
I know it's taboo to talk about such stuff in our society , but having a physical relationship with your husband is your right.It's a basic need.
And he is only being SELFISH by asking asking you to stay with him,when he knows he cannot give you what you need,and when he's making no effort at all.Your father and your siblings are right.
Five years is a VERY LONG time.
I'd suggest you take some time off, go to your parents for a month or so, do a Istikhara, ask your father to do one for you too.
I also think this whole ordeal has effected your self-esteem when you say that you might not get some one as nice as he is.But you will inshallah.Just know that you've tried your best, you've worked hard at it and prayed hard.But that doesn't mean that you should just accept it and live a sacrificial life for him.
I'm so sorry your going through this , May Allah help you soon.Ameen
dear sister.... a very short answer to your long story... sure how could you cover 5 years on thid little post ....
what i think about it is... that your dad is right.... you waited 5 years for him or us main bhi tum ne bohot koshish kiiii..... where are you now? i still see you at the start point .... i wonder no life is perfect i have a husband i miss a friend .. you have a friend and you miss a husband...
but the fact is that you need to have a family with him .. you should have a better life.. and you can not have it with him.
he is not intersted in you but he does not want to leave you as well .... it shows he is selfish. he is afraid of being left alone. usey tumhari adat ho gai hay...
my dear its your life and YOU are the one how has to decide. be strong and make up your mind . and what ever you decide us per jam jao. Allah per bherosa rakho.
and if you ask for my opinion i would say ... bohot ho gaya 5 saal bohot hotey hain. Allah ka naam lo or nai zindagi ki taraf qadam uthao. shayed tum dono ke liye behter ho.
From your story it's clear your Husband is a emotional control freak. I'd say you have asked questions and answered them yourself. I believe you re the black magic and the kind of asar it has on people.. There are some sick people in this world who get pleasure out of hurting people's jazbaat. Your only born once, you need to look forward in life and make a fresh start. Stop feeling sorry for someone who can't help himself let alone you.
Re: Never thought I would share it ....
my head is spinning --
jeez
Re: Never thought I would share it …
Well I would say that you should get divorced and find someone else because you can’t continue to live your life like this. And your mum said for you to not get a divorce. If your husband doesn’t want to have sex with you then how does your mum expect grandchildren? If you’re so upset about this whole situation and you have tried every way possibel to make it work but to no result then I’d say get a divorce. Whatever you decide I wish you good luck, and may Allah (swt) solve all your problems Ameen
okay, i didn't read the whole thing, can someone please summarize and tell me the ending? I got to the part of the shadi night and started scrolling down, and was like whoa!
So what happened ? did her husband cheat on her? Why was he not interested? why did her husband start acting strange? is she getting a divorce?
Re: Never thought I would share it ....
wait hold on, is she saying that he's not having sex with her because of black magic? Maybe he just needs viagra or cialis. He needs to go see a Urologist for that. I had a rotation with a urologist and many men would have that problem (decreased libido).
Decreased libido can also be due to depression or alcohol use. I would recommend seeing a psychiatrist. They can help you with both.
Maybe he's just not attracted to you, and is in love with another girl- and just doesn't want to tell you?
Re: Never thought I would share it ....
HUGSSSSSSSS
Whatever you wrote, after reading it I must say you are such a strong girl who have put up with all this for 5 years. 5 years is not a small period of time. We are talking about 60 MONTHS here……
Let see….. well I think what you need to do is take small steps…..
Go to your mom’s house for small period of time. Maybe that might bring change. Whatever you wrote from that I don’t know if you have already tried it or not. But do that first hand, don’t tell your husband I am leaving you and I am gona divorce you. Just tell him that I need to relax a bit so I am going to ma mom’s place for a weekend….. and then just stay there for couple of day or more……
Come back to your house and see if that does bring any change in him. While you are at your mom’s house, try your best not to contact him. Completely cut all contacts with him.
You are with him all the time so he doesn’t see why he should put effort like you did.
So when you are gone, he’ll miss that friend to be around and when he won’t be able to talk to you or see you, he’ll realize that he is not putting effort in this marriage to make it work.
Sweet heart remember you met this person who solved all your problems, have you ever thought in those 5 long years that all your worries and problems will be solved in just 2 days. Nahi na? it happened because of Allah’s will...... aur ager Allah chahega tu wo zaror zaror tumhare husband ke dil main dale ga ke he needs to change he behaviour.....
Does your husband pray? He needs to start praying, reading Quran ON TIME. Insallah insallah nothing is impossible
i'll say it again...... u have to separate from your husband for a little while to make him realize what he is gona miss if he didnt put any effort.
Your in my prayers……… be strong :)
Re: Never thought I would share it ....
^ one of her husband's relative did a black magic on them...... during these 5 yrs she suffered alot psychicaly and emotionaly.... then she found this person who broke this magic and all the problems were solved but her husband's behaviour is still the same as before.... he is friendly and nice but doesnt want to have a normal husband/wife relationship......
She is being told by the same person that if her husband didn’t try to help himself no one can help him……
She is now thinking of leaving him but cant due to the emotional state she is in. Her dad and siblings are also suggesting her to leave him but mom says that she shouldn’t. Whenever she decided that she is gona leave him for good he had also emotionally black mailed her.
She is confused now as what she is suppose to do. Divorce him or stay with him like friends not like husband wife.
@ 13Mera7 hope you didnt mind me summarizing it for some lazy people like choti jaan :P
I'm tooooooooo lazzzzzzzzzzzzy. can you just tell me Adeeba? PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm dying to know what happened
Ok here you go: Pretty girl gets married to a guy, and they never consummated. 5/6 years have gone by. The girls health is deteriorating. Part of her wants to blame it all on black magic.
^ do they live happily ever after?
That's what she came here for!