Re: Never thought I would share it ....
Write a letter to this address, this person will help you free of cost. He helped me twice.
Roomi Foundation International
*Shop No. 7, Hassan Blessings, F. B. Area Block-1, *
*Sharifabad, Karachi *
Phone:+92-21-6373466 **
**Fax+92-21-6329113
Cell+92-300-2786786
*They will reply within 15 days inshallah. *
**
**
Re: Never thought I would share it ....
islam gives the rite to women to get a divorce
n u should get it becuz if ur family is with u then u dont need anything else
n if uve only been married for 5 yrs then u still have ur whole life ahead of u
just think another 5 or 10 yrs down the road the situation will probably be the same except that ur health would detriorate more
divorce is the hardest thing ever but in ur case u have full rites n i think u live in the west so i dont it should be hard for u to file the divorce even if he doesnt agree
i think u have done everything in ur power to fix the relationship but it wont n u need to move on....
not easily done i cant even say i know how u feel but after reading ur story my heart goes out to u
ur living the nightmare of most girls who get married....
i hope allah helps u get out of this situation n u can just look back at it as being 5 yrs in ur life that u may not want to remember......
I agree it is like they have been married for 5 years and her husband does not seem to behave like a normal man. Either he is getting it from somewhere else or he is gay.
Agree, I think you should listen to your dad. Like some one else said you are young, beautiful, and intelligent; you deserve better. Don't ruin your life with a man who is not sincere with you.
Re: Never thought I would share it ....
That is one very difficult way to live...hats off to you for dealing with it and being brave throughout your marriage. You've done everything that can be expected of a woman who wants to make a marriage work.
Having said that, its time for you to move past this now. I havent read anyone else's recommendations, just giving my own. I think you will be much happier with a man who desires you and wants to be with you, not just as a room mate but as a husband too. Take a step, things will be fine Inshallah. The initial step is the HARDEST to take but after that...you will feel an enormous burden being lifted off your shoulders. Some people will want you to stick it out, but I say get out. For me, the couples' overall happiness is important. Why am I going to stay with a man if things arent working out?
IMHO, the best thing for you to do is to divorce him, take some time to get back on your feet - emotionally and financially - and then marry someone who makes you feel like a woman.
Agar aap khush nahin hein, to aise zindagi guzarne se kya faida?
Re: Never thought I would share it ....
but girl should know that in 5 years?
It is very hard to read urdu in english letters and you are mixing both......
Same here.
I feel for you. Your story is so sad and shocking. You have had such a tough time. But you have been so brave as well and you did everything you could as a good wife to make things work.
Now you just have to pick yourslf up and move on with life. Don't give up on love. You will find someone else who will make you so happy Inshallah.
Re: Never thought I would share it ....
She says he is attracted to other women though.
Write a letter to this address, this person will help you free of cost. He helped me twice.
Roomi Foundation International *Shop No. 7, Hassan Blessings, F. B. Area Block-1, * *Sharifabad, Karachi *
Phone:+92-21-6373466 ** **Fax+92-21-6329113 Cell+92-300-2786786
*They will reply within 15 days inshallah. *
Mmm...writing to that address could get addictive. :)
Re: Never thought I would share it ....
Ps - what does that person at that address do? :)
Re: Never thought I would share it ....
sells Viagra
Re: Never thought I would share it ....
13 Mera 7......I cried when I was reading your story and in the begining I understood everything even very single detail. As it happened to 1 of my friend. She has gone through many things along with the problems you must have went. I can understand.
My friend did same thing what you did. You are such a brave girl that's whay Allah chose you for azmaish. Now you did everything whatevere was possible. Now you have to move on. Leave this extremly selfish person.
I'll share with you my friends story later. Then you will understand well. You will also know very clearly what to do.
Wo itna buchcha naheen kay kuch karta naheen ya karna naheen chahta ya samajhta naheen. It's you who are very fool think that way. Wo larka hai sub kuch kar chuka ho ga. Ussay pata hai kay wo theek honay wala naheen. Is liaay wo kuch naheen karta. He is just making you fool.
Now you tell me. Parents larkion ya larkon ki shadi kioon kartay hain. Khilatay, pehnatay aur khial sub rakhtay hain parents to phir shadi kioon kartay hain is liaay kay her insaan ki physical needs hoti hain aur buchchon ki bhi zaroorat aur khuwahish hoti jo parents poora naheen kar saktay is liaay shadi hoti hai.
Aap ko wo dono needs naheen mil raheen aur na hi kabhi mil sakteen hain is intehai khud gharz admi say so leave this jerk off. Kick him out. I wanna say how these goray say's kick him but I don't use bad words.
Wo us kay bawajood aap pay cheekhta aur baat tuk naheen karta jo uskay intehai budtameez hona ka batatay hain. Us kao to aap say shirminda hona chahyay Wo to aap ka bohat bara gunahgar hai. Itna bara dhoka kia aap kay saath. Aur mazeed kar raha hai. Ussay to us kay jism pay jitnay jootay marain jain kum hai. You love him. I know larkiaan bohat bholi hoti hain apnay dushmanon say bhi mohabbat kia ishq main giraftar rehti hain.
Sub say pehlay to aap apnay dil ko uskia nafrat say bharain. Phir khud ko us kay baghair rehnay ka adi banain. Us ko bol kar jain kay chund maheenon kay liaay jaa rahi hoon parents kay ghar. Apna sub qeemti samaan usko khabar huway baghair apnay parents kay ghar transfer kar lain.
Yay soch kar jain aap nain lout kar naheen ana wapis kisi soorat main naheen. Ho sakta hai shuru main parents kay ghar main aap ko takleefain hon aur takleefain uthni parain.
Jaisay her kaam kay shuru main mushkilaat aur parayshaniaan ateen hain. Ghabrana bilkul naheen Allah pay poora bharosa rakhna. Sochan parents bhi kuch naheen karain gay aur na kar saktay hain. Laikin Allah sub kuch karay ga. Aap intehai mazloom hain. Allah aap ko aisay hi naheen choray ga.
Aap nain azmaish ka waqt naiki, naik niyati aur sharafat say guzar lia jo intehai mushkil hai. You are great person like me gr8 Heera (just kidding). I salute you for the patience and not going to hell way in having sex with someone else as some can do that. It's a very tough thing to control.
Loag bewa say to hamdardi kartay hain aur kar saktay hain jis say usko kuch sakoon mil sakta hai. Laikin wo larkiaan jo shadi honay kay bawajood as a bewa ki zindagi guzarti hain aur jis pay koi matam karnay wala bhi naheen hota wo intehai takleef da hota hai.
Allah aap ko himmat day. Khud ko mazboot banain. Himmat paida karain. Aap nain apni madad aap karni hai. Koi aap ki madad naheen kar sakta siwaay Allah kay.
Agar aaj aap nain apni madad aap nahee ki to Aap chund salon main bohat puchtain gi aur phir yay waqt loat kar naheen aay ga.
Movlion say poochain gi to wo bhi aap ko fatwa dain gay aisi soorat main talaq ya khulaa lay lain.
Listen to your father and siblings they are more aqalmand then you. First khud ko tayyar karain is shock kay liaay. Yeah in the begining it will be a painful thing or I'll say a very painful thing but Insha Allah Allah will give you great reward.
Go ahead marry him who is waiting for you. You don't even have to wait more for your reward.
Just get divorce from him as soon as possible. after your iddat (4 months and 10 days) go marry with whom who si waiting for him. Give yourself reward for the time you suffered that long.
My love and duas for you.
Allah give you lots of courage and happiness to all your physical and other needs. Insha Allah.
Usko to aap kay jootay chatnay chahyay ulta wo cheekhta aur chillata hai. Mana uska jism uska saath naheen deta. Allah nain us ko aisa banaya ho ga ya kisi wajah say wo aisa ho gia ho gia ho ga. Jo us kay control main naheen.
LAIKIN
Aap pay cheekhna chillana aur pyar say baat karna aur ishq o mohabbat jatana yay to us ghatia insaan kay control main hai na wo to kar sakta tha wo bhi naheen karta. Aisay insaan kay to jusm say us body part ko hi tun say juda kar dena chahyay.
Now do you want me to tell you how to make him dog or talway chatwana. Usko jooton ki zaroorat hai aap kay na kay aap kay pyar ki.
I'll share in full detail what my freind gone through with same type of extremely selfish person she is still going through and living with him. Now she is regreting her dicision not not leave after insisted by mother, father, brother, sisters. She is going through lots of pain she can't even share with her sister. Everyone blames her make fun of her because she didn't listen to them. Ohhh yeah her parents and brothers and sisters also suffering too as they knew that she don't complain but they can understand her pain she goes through. They cry but can't do anything because she didn't help herself.
Allah unki madad karta hai jo apni madad aap kartay hain.
My friends story is same but there are way more pain and suffering.
Good luck girl.
I'll share in detail that way you will understand better otherwise you won't understand.
Re: Never thought I would share it …
**some of you guys need to grow up and be a little more sensitive. If you want to know what’s going on, take time to read a post instead of begging others to summarize. Second option is to just not read and save everyone misery from comments.
Cheers.
**
TIME TO TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR LIFE, ON YOUR OWN TERMS.
5 years is a LONG waste of time. If anything would have happened, it would have happened by now.
Leave the man straight away. Go to your parents house. Cut all contact with him for 1 whole month. See how he gets on. If u both want to CONSUMMATE this marriage after that, then meet up at some nice hotel to discuss and go about it.
Otherwise, DIVORCE him. You r young, you are in your prime, you have every opportunity going for you. Are you going to wait until you are 40 years old until you realise this?
Regardless of what you believe is causing the problem, at the end of the day, the problem STILL PERSISTS despite every effort that you have made resolve it, so it CANNOT be resolved by anyone of your best efforts. If u stay with him, the problem will still be there and u will b sat wasting your life away with this man.
Most husbands DO care about their wives, your "husband" is not the only man on this earth who can care for you.
TIME TO TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR LIFE, ON YOUR OWN TERMS.
5 years is a LONG waste of time. If anything would have happened, it would have happened by now.
Leave the man straight away. Go to your parents house. Cut all contact with him for 1 whole month. See how he gets on. If u both want to CONSUMMATE this marriage after that, then meet up at some nice hotel to discuss and go about it.
Otherwise, DIVORCE him. You r young, you are in your prime, you have every opportunity going for you. Are you going to wait until you are 40 years old until you realise this?
Regardless of what you believe is causing the problem, at the end of the day, the problem STILL PERSISTS despite every effort that you have made resolve it, so it CANNOT be resolved by anyone of your best efforts. If u stay with him, the problem will still be there and u will b sat wasting your life away with this man.
Most husbands DO care about their wives, your "husband" is not the only man on this earth who can care for you.
I SO AGREEE!!! YOU ARE WASTING ALL your beauty and youth on this LOSER of a guy!!!!!!He's ABUSING YOU- Both Islamically and emotionally!! This isn't a marriage! It's a prison. Your not this guy's mother where whenever he starts CRYING you need to come back to HIM!!!!!!! YOu need to leave- the faster you do it - the better you'll be off!
Re: Never thought I would share it ....
Lots of insensitive posts here. Someone is suffering and in the midst of a truly heartbreaking situation and some of you have the audacity to complain about how long it is?
Even better are those of you who are giving advice without reading the entire post.
If you can't help the poster, go to another thread. Debate something really original and worthy of your time. I'm sure there's a real scintillating discussion about love marriages versus arranged marriages that could really use your enlightened opinion.
Lets leave this topic for those of us who have the time, capacity and genuine concern for helping this unfortunate individual.
Your story is really sad and hurting. Some awesome advices in this thread. You really shouldmove on somehow.
Hope all works out for you. :)
Oh 13Mera7 your story is so so upsetting. honestly i get so scared reading other peoples posts, cus im going through major problems of my own and reading this just makes me so confused about what it is that Allah Gee wants from us? All I can say is that im sorry i cannot give you any avice becasue im not intelligent enough especially since ive ruined my own life in such a big way but i will promise you one thing and that is that i will pray for you. I will ask Allah Gee to help you and give you the ability to come out of the situation a much stronger and wiser and happier person. God bless you.
Re: Never thought I would share it ....
I echoe most of what has been said minus the rude/insensitive remarks! My advice would be to do istikhara and seek Allah (SWT) help and guidance in decision making. Its clear he is not sexually interested in you, so do think about this as marriage implicates completion of half your iman. Nothing is impossible in life and inshallah you will achieve happiness if you decide to put your needs first.
Re: Never thought I would share it ....
Queen your post makes me so sad! Open up your thread and let us help you. There are amazing guppies here all from different walks of life who can help you. Best thing is no one knows you so its easier to open up. :)