Re: Need ur advice and prayers during this hard ttime...
Bakwas kar raHA HAI.
Re: Need ur advice and prayers during this hard ttime...
Going by the additional details, i wouldnt go for this rishta even if the "baray" reach a compromise.
Re: Need ur advice and prayers during this hard ttime…
I partly am 
kyuu?
Baqwaas hi to kar rahey heyn. I swear they deserve to get so zaleel and khwar as possible.
@redvelvet lets see what the elders decide, but yes the boys side has proved themselves. It is not only about money anymore, it all about the things that r commin with it 
Re: Need ur advice and prayers during this hard ttime...
I am sorry to say but this is your parents' fault. Who said to give this much jahaiz ke logon ke moon khulay ke khulay hi rahein zindagi bhar? What kind of nalaiq damaad are they trying to buy with all of this stuff? Is this guy coming with gold plated teeth or something? I don't get it: A house, 49 suits, furniture sets, sofas, bartan bhanday...larkay ka dimagh kharab hai jo apna visa khud karega? Itna ameer susraal kis din kaam ayega? Beti pyari hai to dengay...zaroor dengay. You guys did this to yourselves...now try to dig yourselves out of it. And just an FYI...people who are so laalchi need to be taught a lesson: your sister needs to let him go otherwise she will spend the rest of her life begging for respect among a family of good-for-nothings who are too lazy to move a muscle because they hit a jackpot with people like you. This is ALL your parents' doing. Not your inlaws because nature made them that way. But larki ka future dekhna maan baap ka kaam hota hai. What on earth is this?
This post is soooo good :) And spot on ... right on the money ... It's a no brainer - the signs were there about this dodgy family in Pakistan from the beginning and the parents of the girl - didn't read the signs ...
Re: Need ur advice and prayers during this hard ttime...
I feel sick to my stomach reading this.
Is it a marriage, a joining of two people, or is it a business transaction? How sad.
This is not a business transaction - this is a fraudulent sale - a Sony being sold and you really get a Sanyo - with an insurance policy that you didn't sign up to.
Re: Need ur advice and prayers during this hard ttime...
i read something online recently. someone who doesnt have facebook has something to hide. haha. ;) but it was a joke. :D
Re: Need ur advice and prayers during this hard ttime...
^^^ well if my parents knew that these idiots would b like this, the would never ever think about doin or givin the rishta/nikah. Koi bhi maa baap apni aulad ko jahanum key gharey meyn nai phenkta. Yeh to fams key ander ja ker pata chalta hey key loag kese heyn! So don't blame my parents! Unho ney apni taraf sey acha khaandaan dhoonda tha apni beti key liye... Now if the boy or his fam turns out to b wolfs in woman's cloths, humara ya parents ka kya kasoor??
Raha jahez ka sawaal..... Humarey khandaan ki rivayat hey key beti ko yeh cheezeyn deyn. My other sister also got married with a boy out of pk... And ma shaa allah she is happy, he never ever took a cent from my sister and paid all the expenses himself. So yeah...
So instead of seeking faults or blaming my parents, plz just give advice or suggestions.
Need ur advice and prayers during this hard ttime...
^^doing rishtas is very very difficult. May Allah give all of our parents an relatives himmat and Hikmaat to proceed properly.
I agree please stop with the blame game. Hindsight is always 20/20. I don't think your parents or sister is to blame. Many ppl in general have became LAICHI (greedy). Was this dude worth all this trouble? Is he educated or exceptionally good looking, great family background etc. there is a possibility that his family wants out of this rishta. Maybe he or they are interested elsewhere or he doesn't want to MOVE to UK. if that is the case - then it is definitely good to end it now. Your sister will be fine and she will find somebody better . But if this is a case of miscommunication where the boys is willing to honor his COMMITTMENT buy his family is the problem then it could still work. Don't take what is posted on fb too seriously. Anybody could open a Facebook acct. rishtas stuff should not be done online. Go with your instincts . Your parents are trying their best a d u fortunately these are some of the problems parents face when their kids grow up. Best of Luck!
Re: Need ur advice and prayers during this hard ttime...
^^doing rishtas is very very difficult. **May Allah give all of our parents an relatives himmat and Hikmaat to proceed properly. **
I agree please stop with the blame game. Hindsight is always 20/20. I don't think your parents or sister is to blame. Many ppl in general have became LAICHI (greedy). Was this dude worth all this trouble? Is he educated or exceptionally good looking, great family background etc. there is a possibility that his family wants out of this rishta. Maybe he or they are interested elsewhere or he doesn't want to MOVE to UK. if that is the case - then it is definitely good to end it now. Your sister will be fine and she will find somebody better . But if this is a case of miscommunication where the boys is willing to honor his COMMITTMENT buy his family is the problem then it could still work. Don't take what is posted on fb too seriously. Anybody could open a Facebook acct. rishtas stuff should not be done online. Go with your instincts . Your parents are trying their best a d u fortunately these are some of the problems parents face when their kids grow up. Best of Luck!
Ameen!
I am not sure what they have in mind, my sister told me today that her SIL (the boy's sister) told her a few months after her Nikah, that she should apply his Visa, so that he can come to uk... They could life in and marry after 4/5 years! My sister told her that she ain't gonn do that... SO i don't know what this all is about, but i do think key lalach hi in key dil meyn kood raha hey. My bhabi said that shaid woh sirf yahan settle honey key liye kar rahey they itney dramey..
The boy is choosing completely the side of his parents... He doesn't even want to talk about anything! My brother tried to talk with him (to know what his opinion is about all this and what he wants) u know what he said? "yeh sab ab parents hi discuss kareynge, i will tell abu" WTHEL!! it is a grown up dude, but is behaving like a teenager!
He ain't that good looking, looks more like a skeleton without ny flesh on him... He is educated (has done MBA) but my sis has done her masters to, so that ain't the point.
I think the point is also with his sister... She is not married yet, is almost 30 years, and the complete fam does what she asks or tells them to do or say...( i might be wrong... but somehow ....)
Re: Need ur advice and prayers during this hard ttime...
^^^ well if my parents knew that these idiots would b like this, the would never ever think about doin or givin the rishta/nikah. Koi bhi maa baap apni aulad ko jahanum key gharey meyn nai phenkta. Yeh to fams key ander ja ker pata chalta hey key loag kese heyn! So don't blame my parents! Unho ney apni taraf sey acha khaandaan dhoonda tha apni beti key liye... Now if the boy or his fam turns out to b wolfs in woman's cloths, humara ya parents ka kya kasoor??Raha jahez ka sawaal..... Humarey khandaan ki rivayat hey key beti ko yeh cheezeyn deyn. My other sister also got married with a boy out of pk... And ma shaa allah she is happy, he never ever took a cent from my sister and paid all the expenses himself. So yeah...So instead of seeking faults or blaming my parents, plz just give advice or suggestions.
Peace SweetLadyMy advice is too late ... I don't believe in jahez, if it is given to the daughter then it should not be in her in-laws house ... And if it was in their house they are not the owners of it unless she gives it to them as a gift. What should be done now? Speak up ... Tell the boy's parents that they need to contribute to the marriage effort as well or people will think of them as konjus, that always gets people ...especially those who are concerned about their image. But you sister is only nikkafied and no rukhsati has been done, which means a divorce will still leave her as a kawari ... Get rid of him and his family now ... Or make them reciprocate using their weakness.
Re: Need ur advice and prayers during this hard ttime…
Well initially the jahez was given in the uk (so the full furnished house were my sis and her hubby would start a new life together, it was meant to be a gift from my parents to my sister. But my sisters inlaws demanded also jahez in pk ..which my parents agreed on, to prevent other disturbences in the proces..
Larkey key parents neyn saaf saaf keh diya hey key woh visey key pesey nai dengey, it’s against their asools ( i don’t understand what their asools are but okay)… yeh log sirf kanjoos nai, intehayi ghatiya en kameeney insan heyn… joh apney betey ki keemat lagwa rahey heyn
looking at the nikahfied and no rukhsati s done, would that mean that in a future nikah she will be quoted as “Talaak Yafta” or as single?
Re: Need ur advice and prayers during this hard ttime…
And what if the boy doesn’t want to give her talaak? cuz chances are that they won’t do that
Re: Need ur advice and prayers during this hard ttime...
don't worry,
divorce is best option in this case,
such immature boys can never be changed
Re: Need ur advice and prayers during this hard ttime...
sweetlady its better to cry or hurt now as compare to in future .....becoz once yur sister got married they will mess up her life ....i would reccomend u to do istikhara ....second u and yur family should sit with them ask politely what is the main issue and u try to make ur sister understand about all this.........third if nothing works then go for divorce other wise i would say try
Re: Need ur advice and prayers during this hard ttime...
Rightly said, 'Jahez lakh lanat hai!'
What a mess over clothes, jewellery, money matters .. err
Re: Need ur advice and prayers during this hard ttime...
You keep using the word "demanding"....that was a pretty big sign from the beginning, so your family wasnt completely clueless...they just chose to appease and ignore and hope...none of these reflect cluelessness.
I don't like the idea of suggesting divorce...but this guy and his family neither respect your sister nor her parents. I imagine it would be mire difficult dealing with a divorce that takes place after the rukhsati as opposed to one that takes place before rukhsati and the couple hadn't lived together. I think the former would be more of a stigma. People may think that since the girl sought a khula before the shadi even took place...... Then problem larkay main hogi. That said...if you're concerned about reputation/future....this angle of thinking might bring some comfort.
People don't get over grudges easily and the whole family has a grudge and the guy is not supporting your sister....not the strongest foundation to start a marriage. It'll be a gamble either way......whether you marry a desi guy from the UK or one in Pak....whether it's arranged or love.......but its a much bigger risk/gamble when there's no respect and trust.
Re: Need ur advice and prayers during this hard ttime...
^^^ well if my parents knew that these idiots would b like this, the would never ever think about doin or givin the rishta/nikah. Koi bhi maa baap apni aulad ko jahanum key gharey meyn nai phenkta. Yeh to fams key ander ja ker pata chalta hey key loag kese heyn! So don't blame my parents! Unho ney apni taraf sey acha khaandaan dhoonda tha apni beti key liye... Now if the boy or his fam turns out to b wolfs in woman's cloths, humara ya parents ka kya kasoor??
Raha jahez ka sawaal..... Humarey khandaan ki rivayat hey key beti ko yeh cheezeyn deyn. My other sister also got married with a boy out of pk... And ma shaa allah she is happy, he never ever took a cent from my sister and paid all the expenses himself. So yeah...
So instead of seeking faults or blaming my parents, plz just give advice or suggestions.
Humaray khandaan ki rivayat hai ke beti ko aqal, education aur deeni taleem uske maan baap usko dein. And I am really serious about that last statement. Now on to the more unpleasant things. Do you hear yourself? You sound like a Star Plus drama and this is not the way educated people behave or talk. I am not trying to be mean here but really read your posts............people who have common sense don't talk that way. I can only imagine this as a scene from Humsafar or something. If the priority of your parents lies in loading their daughters in order to buy respect...then I don't understand what the complaints are about. Your sister's inlaws are only demanding according to the examples YOU guys have set. Please try to understand that this is not coming out of the blue...you guys had signs but didn't read them. Anyone who thinks buying their son in laws a home and furnishing it is a great thing to do...its not. Husband and wife need to build their OWN lives...even if it means struggling a little bit to get what they want.
Re: Need ur advice and prayers during this hard ttime...
This is why we need to do away with this stupid jahez culture. It is flat out unIslamic.
I'm not offering an ounce of "jahez". I'm walking into the marriage neck deep in debt, and if they want jahez, sure, they can share in my loan repayments and defaults when I eventually lose my job from becoming a crazy Pakistani woman who went insane from her cultures absurdities.
Re: Need ur advice and prayers during this hard ttime…
It’s gonn be talaak
The FIL said that my sister has no right to ask or give her lehnga choice that guy said that he wont send his son to uk…cuz he knows his son has to work here (like duhh he aint gonn sit 24/7 on his ass) he blames everythin on us! Wt helll
The house is on the name of my sis…not on her husbands name… The fil said " aap logoon ney merey betey ka naam katwa diya makaan sey" it never was on his name… He said key meri behen ka kya haq banta hey key woh visay key pesey mangey" seriously
We gonn apply khula in up commin days. Mum has recorded the complete convo with him…
Should we use that against them? Cuz ab barey betheyngey n woh meri behen ko badnaam karey ga (he even said aap logon ka mahole aur hey blavla)
Need ur advice and prayers during this hard ttime...
Before it gets any worse its best you take ur sister out the situation. Yes she'll hurt for a while and be upset but being divorced isnt the end of the world! There is light at the end of the tunnel! Yes ur parents shouldnt have given in to the jahez demands and yes the in laws r laalchi for expecting so much.! But whats done is done. Have u actually sent all these diamond and gold sets to these people.?!! Best thing is to ask for khulla and allow ur sis to just be free from all this crap coz i personally think it would only get worse!