need to vent

Lifestyle Relationships
41

Re: need to vent

^ nadz many people have different set of rules for wife and different for
sister/mother.

rules that are applicable on wife are NOT applicable on sisters.

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Re: need to vent

as i said we have started talking again and he said he will talk to his parents about moving out but i know he will never be happy like this so i have told him that i will give the whole situation another try and i will try not to fight but if i come to this point that i feel like i m gonna lose my mind that i will tell you to move out... and we agreed.

about sleeping separately... we both have work in the morning.. both of us really wanna sleep in one room but because of our daughter we cant.. she doesnt sleep in the crib.. but even if i out her in her crib while she is sleeping than she wakes up in the middle of the night and wants to come to our bed...

however if i dont listen to her cries then i get the knocks on the door from my in laws that why is she cryin etc

i have told my husband that i will sleep on the floor but he doesnt want that either :-S .. i dont know how to solve this issue

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Re: need to vent

o and when he said he will leave me over his parents.... this statement pretty much leaves nothing for me to say...kiyoun banda apni he insult kurvata jaye

44

Re: need to vent

Bring the crib in your bedroom?

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Re: need to vent

ok hooria- you need to control the kid first. if she is trained from that age that she can get whatever she wants, itl only get worse. if you had 2 3 4 kids, would they all sleep in ur bed.....and if inlaws knock...tell them to look after her...jeex kids cry. its normal. let the kid cry. ive seen so many of my nieces and nephews who are utter spoilt kids.....because their parents spoil them/give them whatever they want.....and then they grow p and get worse...and parents wonder where they went wrong.

tell the inlaws-kids cry. simple. and tell them to ignore her crying. she will stop.
sorry but its the way it is.

46

crib is in my bedroom .. right beside my bed. but since my daughter like to sleep in every direction , crib doesnt allow that

47

i have told them that please ignore when she cries but they dont listen to me... i have told my hubby to talk to them about this issue... but i guess he didnt.. my mil comes in my room and take her away.. but still i cant go to sleep cuz in the end she is gonna sleep with me

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Re: need to vent

**So you know how your hubby is putting his parents before you, well you're putting your daughter before your hubby! Just something to think about. It doesn't matter which directions she likes to sleep in, she needs be in her own bed and her own space.

This by no means justifies what your hubby is doing but it takes two to be emotionally apart. I know a lot of things are not in your control but whatever is, take full opportunity to use that to make your life better.**

49

Thanks Gaia,

i will try that :-)

50

Re: need to vent

How old is your daughter Hooria?

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Re: need to vent

There are child discipline and conditioning tricks that can help you with your kid. She needs to become independent in her sleep. That should be a goal. Don't be passive and allow her to separate you from your bed.

And to hell with the inlaws if they knock on your door asking why she is crying. They probably babied your husband just as much and now you have to be the one to cut the cord. Make your kid independent.

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Re: need to vent

^Yep, I agree.
Depending on how old your child is, there are different techniques you could try... but please stop giving in to the crying and letting her sleep in your bed.

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Re: need to vent

or put a matress on the floor and let her dance around on that rather than on ure bed...

54

she is 13 months

55

Thanks pyaricgudia, its not like i have never tried to let her be independent.. i have tried many times but then i give up bcuz i have work in the morning too and i am only one who wakes up to get her at nite ... i was getting very minimal sleep due to this.. so after that i gave up

56

if i let her do that... she will go through all my drawers and put things on the floor... in the end a big mess for me to clean up

57

Re: need to vent

Hooria-she will STOP one day..its not like she will cry/make mess/ etc FOREVER. its a matter of days or at longest, weeks......thats it. problem sorted.

58

Ok, you'll have to work a bit on this, you will have to sacrifice your sleep for the first week or so (maybe).

First, get her all excited about a toddler bed.... say things like you are a big girl now, time for us to get you a bed like daddy and mommy.... then get her a toddler bed (I'm hoping it will fit in your room, just replace the crib with it). Or if she's a Dora or Disney princess fan, get her the Dora or Disney princess bed (they're not too expensive). Since toddler beds are low, she can safely climb on and off, and even if she rolls off, it won't be an issue (as long as you have carpet in your room).

Give her a stuffed toy or binky, tell her this is your new friend who will keep you company when you're sleeping, just like mommy. And you have to prepare her properly, keep talking to her about it, get her all excited. She's old enough to understand this.

And don't let her sleep in your bed anymore, be firm about it. If she climbs into your bed, put her back on her bed as soon as she falls asleep, even if you have to do it 10 times during the night.

I've very recently moved my 4 year old into a separate room successfully, so all it takes is persistence and a bit of sacrificing your sleep for a while. Good luck

59

Great advice :-) ... let me look for toddler bed and hopefuly i can move it into my bedroom :-D

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Re: need to vent

If she's afraid of monsters, give her some air freshner and tell her its "monster spray" - you spray under your bed and in the closets and the monsters will stay away.