hmm
Re: need sum suggestions/advices
h
Re: need sum suggestions/advices
But it isnt so bad, is it? I mean, it seems 'bad' to you only because you are comparing it so directly with your brother and bhabi, but you should understand that everyone acts and reacts differently. If your fiance/inlaws were mistreating you in any way, that would be different of course. But in this case, it just seems that he is a bit reserved compared to your brother.
Chances are, it will change after marriage. I think the fact that you have had such a long engagement period is compounding your misery. Id say, live you free life while youre still single, and enjoy it with your friends and family. Once married, you might not have all this.
Re: need sum suggestions/advices
for once let your worries fly away and trust in Allah!
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Dont compare your life with others.you'l be happier this way :)
Re: need sum suggestions/advices
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some fullstops. Feel free to use them.
Re: need sum suggestions/advices
Dont compare you're finace to your brother and bahabi's relationship. Aside from the different backgrounds, family upbringing and personalities, they have a pasand ki engagement, and yours is arranged. Total different planes intially.
You have several options here, speak to your brother/or bhabi about the problem, and ask her to bug your fiance to call more often if he can. It maybe he cant afford to call so often, or that he finds it awkward considering this is an arranged marraige, and that he's also trying to hide what little communications you already have. It probabaly put him off. If that is the case, you should consider taking over, and making the calls, until his comfort level increases.
The good thing with that is, you will be able to decide if you want to go ahead with this or not and hat is the important part.
Im not a fan of watta satta for the reason being that if one couple has issues (as all couple tend to have ups and downs), it often interferes unneccesarily with the second couples marriage, no matter how good it is going. So its not a terribly clever idea IMO.
Re: need sum suggestions/advices
If he's not calling you why don't YOU call him ? Maybe if you call him a couple of times, send him gifts then he'll learn that you like him and maybe he'll start responding and calling. Some people prefer others to initiate.
Love is a two-way street and good luck !!
Re: need sum suggestions/advices
hmm... he may be reserved, not much talkative.... or cant afford to make long distance calls so often...n trust in ALLAH....
However I have a thought that in Pakistan generally people want their kids to marry someone from abroad.... as ur brother was engaged before with their daughter so may be when ur parents sent ur proposal they could not say NO as u r from their daughter's in laws...and saying no would cause problems for her( typical pakistani belief)may be ALLAH fobid ur fiancee had some objection about this proposal but agreed due to same reason.... now u r engaged for a long time u should talk to him on this issue.... its not too late if this is the poblem...it would save u from other upcoming poblems....
I think calling once in a month is affordable... n everyone nowadays talk even if its arranged engagement(obsevation) ....so communicate gal....
Re: need sum suggestions/advices
u hav been engaged for long time n ab tak takalluf ki dewaar gir jani chahiay thee. is it possible that u n ur family go to pak for a while n spend some time with ur inlaws.as a girl i dont like this idea of calling him if he doesn't call esp when he himself calls secretly...may b once or twice ok but it can giv ur inlaws a chance to talk ill against u. n wats up with such long engagements? Ask ur family to set a marriage date soon. :)
Is it too much to ask that this blurb be repeated in English or just one language (as opposed to a mish-mash of two) and you use punctuation and a thing commonly known as paragraphs?!!! lol..
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Re: need sum suggestions/advices
I don't have any hard feelings about the behavior of your fiancee but me too hate watta sattah. The most fishy thing is you told that your faincee talked with one of her cousin if i'm not wrong. That is absolutely wrong thing that he can't talk with you but talking with another girl.
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Yeah I did, I called him 3/4 times since we started talking but I don't wanna call him all the time that way he will thinks I'm too free and sending gifts yeah oh right itna be close relation nehi hai hamara once I asked him for engagement ring he said ghar walay kya sochay gay shaadi say pahlay hi yeh sab shoro kar diya hai acha nehi laghta other wise main send kar dayta.
Technically, he's right about saying that you guys should not be doing these things before marriage. Engagement has no worth from an Islamic point of view and recently, many people have been using engagament to justify dating. In big cities back in pakistan, you see guys/girls with 2-3 broken engagements.
Bottomline, unless there is a nikah, you two are still na mehram to each other and since you mentioned that he is a religious guy, then maybe he feels this way. i am not judging you, but just explaining as to why he is behaving this way. Bye the way, if you feel so strongly about this, you may be better off with a more "enlightened" guy from UK.
