That is true, he will find plenty of women in Pakistan, but what about me? Will I be able to find someone decent in England? I don't think so? the boys here are useless...(no offence to anyone who is a boy and lives in england)...but they are rude, dress horribly, have no idea about their language/culture and have no education/career prospects apart from being a taxi driver. Believe me, I know. I've looked.
:'(
uhm i think that is quite a generalisation..i mean i dnt know WHERE uv been looking...but believ it or not ther are some guys who have been to uni..have an education...AND are british
yaar i thought you had calmed down … but you’re back on ground zero … why oh why …
relax and wait and see … kuch nahi ho ga … jis situation mein ho … yehi lagta hai aur koi nahi hai aur na he milay ga … but believe me … jis nay hona hota hai … wo bus tapak perta hai like really …
so no worries …
uhm i think that is quite a generalisation..i mean i dnt know WHERE uv been looking...but believ it or not ther are some guys who have been to uni..have an education...AND are british
Yea it's just their moms are importing brides so no decent ones left lol
Yeah, am uncomfortable too and since its a derogatory term I think I need to respond. At least these “imported wives” are in general better than the “pseudo-liberal” American Born Confused Desi girls who think they are the best thing that has happened since bread.
all you can glean from what she said is that the brides are coming from outside the country, nothing about whether they are better or worse.
to be honest mate, given that you see something 'derogatory' in so much of what people say, even when it doesn't exist, suggests to me that you need to re-asses your thinking lest you end up sad and lonely as well as bitter.
^ and what is wrong with you ? All you can glean from my post is that I was offended at the term "imported brides" and thought that people who use terms like that may not be THAT cool themselves. How did you come to the conclusion that I am sad and lonely and bitter ?
Seems more to me that its you who would scare away any nice guy with your views.
And bye the way, I don't live in States, so fotunately I won't have to bear with a few people living there who use terms like "imported wives" and "baby making machines".
And bye the way, I am talking about a sub-group of such people, if you are not one of them, why does it bother you so much.. ? learn to live with differing opinions.
Oh and bye the way, alhamdulillah, I am always happy and cracking jokes!! I just like to steal the thunder sometimes
snowy_winter, with all due respect, your personal life is noone's business, but ya need to get that chip off ur shoulder, constantly veering off into the same direction (ie bashing feminists and american-raised desi women) regardless of the context or discussion going on does show a bit of bitterness whether you want to admit it or not. just a little suggestion.
^ and what is wrong with you ? All you can glean from my post is that I was offended at the term "imported brides" and thought that people who use terms like that may not be THAT cool themselves. How did you come to the conclusion that I am sad and lonely and bitter ?
Seems more to me that its you who would scare away any nice guy with your views.
And bye the way, I don't live in States, so fotunately I won't have to bear with a few people living there who use terms like "imported wives" and "baby making machines".
And bye the way, I am talking about a sub-group of such people, if you are not one of them, why does it bother you so much.. ? learn to live with differing opinions.
Oh and bye the way, alhamdulillah, I am always happy and cracking jokes!! I just like to steal the thunder sometimes
I can glean more than you just being 'offended' by it as you went on to say:
At least these "imported wives" are in general better than the "pseudo-liberal" American Born Confused Desi girls who think they are the best thing that has happened since bread.
what views exactly would scare away any 'nice guy'? coz i'm not the one being derogatory towards anyone, whereas most your posts are rants about 'liberal women' and people living in the west.
trying to justify your point by saying that you're only talking about a 'sub group' of women is getting old now.
snowy_winter, with all due respect, your personal life is noone's business, but ya need to get that chip off ur shoulder, constantly veering off into the same direction (ie bashing feminists and american-raised desi women) regardless of the context or discussion going on does show a bit of bitterness whether you want to admit it or not. just a little suggestion.
Always appreciate your civilised manner. But please also take notice of people calling pakistani girls as "imported brides" and "baby making machines". Thats not a nice thing to say to someone.
^ Lolz....I don't hate you guys..... infact I do have some really nice female cousins who live in the states. Khair, I think I'm getting a little tired of these fights now. I guess, I will try to refrain from passing sweeping statements !!
Always appreciate your civilised manner. But please also take notice of people calling pakistani girls as "imported brides" and "baby making machines". Thats not a nice thing to say to someone.
I try to look at the context at which it was said. In this example, "imported" brides was not meant in a derogatory manner. the person simply stated many brides who come from Pakistan.
Some things are never appropriate or allowed no matter what context they're said in, at least on this forum. As for other insults or perceived insults...we look at it on a case to case basis and deal accordingly.
That is true, he will find plenty of women in Pakistan, but what about me? Will I be able to find someone decent in England? I don't think so? the boys here are useless...(no offence to anyone who is a boy and lives in england)...but they are rude, dress horribly, have no idea about their language/culture and have no education/career prospects apart from being a taxi driver. Believe me, I know. I've looked.
But you are right, I should have alot more self-confidence and self-esteem to deal with this. my whole family doesnt want me to do this because they say he has changed so much. He blames me for everything and I dont think I can live with someone like that.
My mum says to just wait and see, wait and see :'(
Where on earth have you been looking girl?! Seriously tell me?! Lol!
If he can find plenty of women in Pakistan - then so can you in UK.
uhm i think that is quite a generalisation..i mean i dnt know WHERE uv been looking...but believ it or not ther are some guys who have been to uni..have an education...AND are british
Where on earth have you been looking girl?! Seriously tell me?! Lol!
If he can find plenty of women in Pakistan - then so can you in UK.
^ Ditto! Lol! :)
I have been looking in my home town in england. I wont say where it is lest I end up revealing my identity. But believe me,...it is a dump in terms of suitable matches.
Most of the guys who get degrees and good jobs end up getting girls from pakistan because they all think the girls here are too indecisive or have a 'history'. The mothers of these guys don't want an 'independent, career-minded' woman. They want someone who will sit in front of the chula making rotis all day.
Even when girls want to marry someone over here, they can't! unless ofcourse they meet someone and its a mutual thing or they go back home and find someone.
^ Lolz....I don't hate you guys..... infact I do have some really nice female cousins who live in the states. Khair, I think I'm getting a little tired of these fights now. I guess, I will try to refrain from passing sweeping statements !!
i think you just like adding a different dimension to the conversation which some mistake as argumentative.
Farrah! I am calm! but I start to panic. My mother recently did an Istikhara and she saw alot of greenery in her dreams including a garden. Surely, that is a good sign? Allah knows best.
I really would like to start my Masters in Law and then PhD (inShAllah) so it would be really helpful to know where I stand right now.
First be clear in your mind about whether you even like him, and if you like him enough to become his wife and cheerleader. As long as he is pursuing a worthwhile and ethical career, it doesn't matter how many struggles he is having. Don't focus on where he's coming from but where he is going. If your gut tells you like him and he likes you, support him.
Another thing, regarding his concerns about you working in Pakistan, they may come from real life situations we often hear about. Maybe he doesn't know how women are perceived at the workplace. Don't argue with him, try to communicate your views and see where he's coming from.
Thanks Niksik, he is usually very understanding and helpful but for this issue he is being very egocentric and cutting me out of the decision. This has made me question how suitable he is in terms of commitment and respect.
But your right, he does have a passion to do something with his life which I utterly respect. It is just a bit of a let down that he has to go and live in Pakistan to do it. Changes everything that we had set up for ourselves. But that is life isnt it? you plan one thing and the opposite always happens.
Always appreciate your civilised manner. But please also take notice of people calling pakistani girls as "imported brides" and "baby making machines". Thats not a nice thing to say to someone.
Do u think American/UK born and bred Pakistani men are also 'confused desis' or is it just as girls?
At least us desi girls don't sleep around then demand the person they marry is a virgin. If anyone's confused about morals and values I think u'll find on the whole it's the men. And no, it's not a minority, u see it everyday in our communities.
If girls are brought over from Pakistan just to marry and have children and aren't allowed to go out to work or improve their english or even wear western clothes (as is the case in very traditional desi families in the UK) what are they if they aren't 'imported brides'? I really don't see much difference in those girls and brides brought over from Thailand or Russia simply cos the perception is they are more subservient, naturally or cos they simply need to be to get hold of a burgundy passport (I'm not talking about those smart sassy girls who come over and would be able to stand on their own two feet).
Do u think American/UK born and bred Pakistani men are also 'confused desis' or is it just as girls?
At least us desi girls don't sleep around then demand the person they marry is a virgin. If anyone's confused about morals and values I think u'll find on the whole it's the men. And no, it's not a minority, u see it everyday in our communities.
If girls are brought over from Pakistan just to marry and have children and aren't allowed to go out to work or improve their english or even wear western clothes (as is the case in very traditional desi families in the UK) what are they if they aren't 'imported brides'? I really don't see much difference in those girls and brides brought over from Thailand or Russia simply cos the perception is they are more subservient, naturally or cos they simply need to be to get hold of a burgundy passport (I'm not talking about those smart sassy girls who come over and would be able to stand on their own two feet).
Well, there is nothing wrong with wanting to have children from marriage.
Girls should obviously be allowed to go out and I think good husbands do take their wives out for dinners/travelling. Though not in a million years I would support girls to going out to "chill" out with some guy friends in a disco or party
Yeah obviously, they need to learn english what kinda prople stop that!!!
So if a desi girl in west is wearing desi clothes, you automatically assume its been enforced on her ? Some girls DON'T LIKE to wear western clothes as a choice.
You have some serious issues with desi girls coming from Pakistan.
but I start to panic. My mother recently did an Istikhara and she saw alot of greenery in her dreams including a garden. Surely, that is a good sign? Allah knows best.