I’m going to be married in coming few months InshAllah. I’m engaged to one of my second cousin. I just know him from childhood but never talked with him, still not after engagement becoz not allowed in family. He wants to talk but I want to keep words of my parents so refused. I don’t know him at all just get to know about him lil from my cousins. Don’t know how’ll I’ll start my life wid him. Very confused. Got to know that he is a lil bossy. I hope all goes well and he loves me alot. But it is difficult to start a life with a person u dont know much :(.
Re: My would-be-hubby???Confusion
Maybe you should talk to your parents to see if you can at least speak to each other -- AT LEAST in front of them.
Re: My would-be-hubby???Confusion
You are not confused . . . you are afraid . Fear of unknown 
inshaAllah everything gona be fine and congratulations :k:
Re: My would-be-hubby???Confusion
You must have a lot of trust in your parents decision and choice. I for one CAN NOT imagine how in this day and age people marry without first knowing the other person.
I hope everything works well for you AND him.
Re: My would-be-hubby???Confusion
InshAllah :).Yes a lil fear
Re: My would-be-hubby???Confusion
I think in our society and culture girls should ALWAYS demand getting to know as much as possible of the guy they are going to marry. The guy has not much riding on the deal..he is probably thinking if it doesn't work out he will find another whereas given the fk'ed up mentality of our people when it comes to divorced women re-marrying, it's a no-win for the girl. So, please educate your parents and tell them that it is important that all red flags have been knocked down prior to nikah.
Only one thing...
STOP thinking too much!
Congrats btw!
Re: My would-be-hubby???Confusion
Gamble your life away in the name of cultural traditions. How much more unislamic can this get. Just so you know Khajidah (RA) knew alot about Hazrat Mohammad (PBUH) and vice versa before they got married. And yes i know it is impossible to argue that to our parents. Islam for them is a grand buffet where only they get to choose what applies to their family.
I think in our society and culture girls should ALWAYS demand getting to know as much as possible of the guy they are going to marry. The guy has not much riding on the deal..he is probably thinking if it doesn't work out he will find another whereas given the fk'ed up mentality of our people when it comes to divorced women re-marrying, it's a no-win for the girl. So, please educate your parents and tell them that it is important that all red flags have been knocked down prior to nikah.
You need to take responsibility for the decision of who you will marry. So speak to your parents about the importance of speaking to him.
Re: My would-be-hubby???Confusion
fashion diva , you can talk with your mum and tell her that he wants to talk to you
I think you should talk to him, you are engaged with him
Atleast mail him
Re: My would-be-hubby???Confusion
Oh bhai. Khuda ke liye. Talk to him. Otherwise you'll be on this place in one year complaining about what an idiot you married.
Re: My would-be-hubby???Confusion
Why do people get married like this:smack:??
Re: My would-be-hubby???Confusion
So its been confirmed that he's an idiot. I see.
Re: My would-be-hubby???Confusion
Look at this place. Who posts up threads about how wonderful their husbands are?
Re: My would-be-hubby???Confusion
^ I ask rose to do this, but she refuses to log on. 
…and to the poster, keep your mouth shut and stand their like a mannequin and let nature take its course. 
you can write to each other. You can get to know each other by learning from friends and family of the guy. Talking to his sister. asking your brother to hang out with him. Or from a chaperoned conversation. Or see how they interact with others.
Gamble your life away in the name of cultural traditions. How much more unislamic can this get. Just so you know Khajidah (RA) knew alot about Hazrat Mohammad (PBUH) and vice versa before they got married.
yes but i don't think it's the same as the "talking" that people do today. The Prophet (S) and Khadija (R) interacted like business partners, she liked his honesty and how he did business with people and she asked to marry him through one of her employees and he said yes to her through that same employee. THis is not how people act these days. People use this example to justify long romantic conversations and private dinners at restaurants (supposedly the other clients at the restaurants prevent them from being "alone" with each other). I don't think islam supports this kind of behavior. By all means they can do what they want, but don't try to justify.
Re: My would-be-hubby???Confusion
can you get together once or twice in the presence of your family? or your siblings and his siblings?
Re: My would-be-hubby???Confusion
well once or twice se kia faraq paray ga. u can't judge a person so quick. how abt via mail. i don't see parents these days r that strict. honestly u will knw the real him only after marriage i'm telling u. but even mail n phone i think r unreliable :)
for right now if he's a good person with good reputation, reasonable family n family values, treats others with respect chances r he'll be good with u too. chatting with each other b4 n knowing too much is no guarantee of wat will happen afterwards. actually lots of posts here r from girls who picked guys of their choice but stayed too blind to bring other factors in consideration.
Re: My would-be-hubby???Confusion
I donot know why you cannot speak to him FD.
It is always recommended for the individuals to communicate in some unobjectionable way like mails , letters , phone or face to face meeting what ever is possible.
I can undestand , how cannot you speak to your parants "I want to speak to my fiance"
On other hand donot thik your parants would encourage you for this (very little parants do that) , so you have to find your ways by yourself.
If you have siblings or his siblings , you take their help for establishing some link but you should initiate with the most easy source , that could be hand written letter.
You have engaged to him , and gona be his life partner so donot shy , buck up and give the letter to yours or his siblings.
where you can hint him about other possible ways of mutuall interactions , as soon you initiate the process you will see the results.
I donot think some one will mind this and your parants are in no exception.
you can write to each other. You can get to know each other by learning from friends and family of the guy. Talking to his sister. asking your brother to hang out with him. Or from a chaperoned conversation. Or see how they interact with others.
He is not having a sis and I aint have a bro :P so no possibility.. I just have a lil fear how he will act or react after marriage. Will he be able to understand me or me him. After marriage I want to always stay confident and dont want to get afraid of anyone neither my hubby nor my in-laws, respect is always there for them :)