I didn’t think I’d be here again complaining so soon yet here I am and I’m anxious tired upset and unsure.
OK so the deal was I would be back in the UK from march til august and then go back and return to pakidtan. Reasons for return are personal I understood his ( husband wanting to stay with his parents habit longer and for us - me his kids- to also.be with him. The plan was then that I would come back to UK next may( around that time) and would begin the process of application for his visa.
Now I’m here he says he misses me and kids too much ands to celebrate eid with us and if icoud come back end of July or 1st week Aug. This angered me as we agreed and booked end Aug.plus I wanted eid with my parents here
Secondly he now says he can’t leave for 2 years and he wants his family ( me and kids) with him.he can let me go first ad him come later as planned.he’s either missing us that much or his mother is brainwashing him so.now he’ changeing his mind
Problem with him is his mind changes all the time and I can’t trust his decision s anymore.
He then got agigatated when I said all this and said don’t cone back then.
He changes his mind he breaks his promises and then says he only promised because I was upset or whatever what does he think this is. I’m fed up.upset.
sounds like someone whos had his arse wiped for him since childhood and hes gotten so accustomed to it that if mummy is not there to do the honours he has a nervous breakdown. The epitomy of ummi ka bacha
Why do you want to start the application process next year? It does not make any sense. I thought the first thing you'd do after landing in UK was start his application process. At least, that is what I would have done.
I think he will keep changing his mind until he gets the visa stamped on his passport with a window to enter UK.
I am sure he misses his wife and kids. But backing off from commitment is not manly. He should be mature to handle this situation. And as Midnight said..he should stop being a cry baby.
it sounds like sending u to the UK was appeasement?.. like bahir bari pali hay , if she goes back home and comes back to pk she'll adjust to the idea of living in pakistan. just what it seems like to me.
I did agree yes but he also said try and live there at least try. And he was supportive.he's otherwise a good husband.I cant say he's not.
Prior to marriage, he told you he didn't want to leave Pakistan, I remember reading that in one of your posts years ago.... you agreed and married him anyway. Now deal with it.
Fed up of girls agreeing to things to get married, thinking that they'll get their own way afterwards.
Nadz this is a tough one. I don’t think that any of us here who have been following your saga over the years will enjoy saying “I told you so” but the truth is YOU chose this life. Your husband is who he is. And who he is, is a man that prefers to live in Pakistan with his parents. You knew that. He knew that. We all knew that.
The only advise I can give you is think long and hard about the course you want your life to take. From what I’ve learned of you, your decisions are usually knee jerk actions that are not well though out (case in point…the whole issue with how exactly you’ll be able to get your husband to UK…lack of savings for immigration purposes etc)
Not to be a Debbie Downer, but you really only have 2 options here 1) resign yourself to live apart from your husband forever (you and the girls in UK, he in Pakistan with visits in between 2) suck it up and just make peace with the fact that your life is in Pakistan now in your MIL’s house…where circumstances will not change
Both options suck IMO, but you did make your bed, and now you have to lay in it :hinna:
Nadz, firstly I’m glad you’re getting a break from your MIL. I know it sounds harsh but as mentioned already…you yourself have admitted that before marriage you knew he didn’t really have any interest in settling in UK and you agreed to live in Pakistan. Yes, he told you that he would try…BUT you knew that you were marrying a man who really didn’t have any interest in living outside Pakistan.
Haven’t you heard that saying fool me once shame on you…fool me twice…well, you get the idea. If you husband have done this multiple times during the 2+ years of your marriage…surely you’re not surprised that he’s doing it again? Angry and frustrated…yes…but not surprised. Perhaps you should realize what his personality is like by now and not believe everything he promises.
Also agree with Disney Princess…going by your past posting history, I feel like you’re going to reveal additional information by the time this thread get to like page 3.
