^ Gullible lives in Pak. Who knows.......maybe due to the power outages......she can't use the computer that often and keep us updated on her situation. Plus, she has her hands full with a baby and chores. It's possible that she's taken some steps to resolve the matter but we don't know about it yet. Hopefully, she's being proactive.
Gullible, be the bigger person and apologize....get Allah's reward for taking the step to maintain peace in the home. And Allah will deal with your in-laws for their transgressions.
**
Mabrook**.....made a good point about apologizing soon....otherwise they might even say "itni dair lagayi hai." Get it over with before Ramzan. And hopefully the spirit of the month will humble everyone in the family and bring people closer.
^ Gullible lives in Pak. Who knows.......maybe due to the power outages......she can't use the computer that often and keep us updated on her situation. Plus, she has her hands full with a baby and chores. It's possible that she's taken some steps to resolve the matter but we don't know about it yet. Hopefully, she's being proactive.
Gullible, be the bigger person and apologize....get Allah's reward for taking the step to maintain peace in the home. And Allah will deal with your in-laws for their transgressions.
**
Mabrook*.....made a good point about apologizing soon....otherwise they might even say "itni dair lagayi hai." Get it over with* before Ramzan**. And hopefully the spirit of the month will humble everyone in the family and bring people closer.
i basically agree with lots of ur things but this situation is different. it has gone very critical. one wrong move now can destroy everything.
by sayng"yea i'm always wrong n u r right" doesn't mean u r weak n always wrong. its just a way of shutting others up. to put a stop to an arguement right n there. this is wat it means.
a girl can b strong if atleast someone is on her side. in this household no one is supporting her.
if she cares for no one n let things be"koi baat nahi ker reha fine na keray. i don't care" they won't let her live like that. i'm sure they'll themselves call her family n ask them to take her away.
ye normal family nahi hai. ek tang kernay n strong networking wali family hai. being run by bunch of egoistic, silly ladies. u know y her husband behaves like this ?? becoz whole time we never once heard abt the Fil. he's alive but still doesn't exist in this whole drama.So its the Fil. if Such fils/guys slap ther wives n daughter tight at right time their women don't go abt torturing other women. its the Fil that the husband is following. this is a house ruled by ladies n being destroyed by ladies. *So only a lady with strong mind n clever ways can handle it. *
just leaving them is no answer. they'll b fine. Gullible n her son will b at lost. aisay logon ko un k beech reh ker sabaq seekhana chahhiay. wat they say to break up a group first b a part of it. make them miserable by living within them.
The black part was a treat to read. Great words to describe them.
Orange part --it cud b true cudn b. See the younger bil, the role he is playing.
Red part---is the major concern. is the lady that clever that she cud lead things that way. Those women are so sharp why cantt they surmise why this girl is acting dis certain way. But also wid such husb she has limited choices left.
And by "dont care attitude", i firstly meant not to get panicked over their attitude, clearly put: psychologically dont get worked out. Cuz such attitudes are psychological tactics to weaken some1's nerves.
All i meant to say evaluate her options and also c the outcomes they can generate. Including ur advice too. If she has to resort to the option of apology den she is gotta show some guts in future by playing the dodge game with them . And ur advice can come in use then and then c how future unravels dat is something to be seen.
Seriously ppl here calling it rant r 2 annoying . PPl whether u have similar stuff in ur lives or not, not every1 is strong enuf to deal wid such probs alone. U dont know how such isolation cud ruin one's psychological state.
Thanx for the concern friends. I have talked to my Sil who is suporting me, she said she will talk to my husband so that atleast we r in talking terms. Aur ghar ki situation ye hai k nobody is still talking to me. I feel like going to my parents but I can't cuz this will only worsen the situation. N plz friends give me some other advice than saying sorry.
By saying sorry to them, they will put me under their pressure and will always ask my husband to sorry them even when it's not my mistake. Cuz it's not the first time some problem has arise it's been 2 years since my Mil keeps on becoming rude sab k samnay taanay marti hain. Then hubby says koi baat nai Tum ja k bat cheet Karlo. Now he has started saying tum ja k sorry kar lo ab he will keep saying this next time whenever something happens. N somebody asked me my age. I'm 22.
^Yea once u will apologize u will b put in the same spot again n again, that is y i am not in the favor of it.But u can consider it, if ur husband still acts stubborn.
They r trying to terrorize u or wut, by not talking to u, the whole household.
Usually aisa hota hai ven v ignore ppl who are giving attitude n ignoring us, i am talking about inlaws situation tooo, dey get their attitudes sorted. Specially if all dey r intending is to scare the girl and not really getting her divorced.
Apnay aisay betay kay leay koi aur kahan say laeyin gay. Woh aey gi , n dey will treat her like dat, to woh bhi laat hi maar kay jaaey gi, if she has a family behind her.
Dese mils trying to part their sons from their wives ,dey r beyond me , y dese women get their munnay married in first place.
I totally agree that she should say sorry and keep it moving, but what i don’t understand is why some people are pointing out “oh its just one kid, suck it up and take care of it, you don’t need a maid”
The problem here is still her husband, who DOES NOT SUPPORT HER!!! If she wants a maid, and they have the money to do it, then WHYYYY NOTT??? why do women have to sacrifice everything and follow step by step in their MIL or Husbands footsteps? If she wants a freakin maid well, thats between her and the husband and if he does not ever hear her out, THEN WHAT DOES THAT TELL YOU??
She is not married to her MIL or her SIL’s all she has to do is respect them and keep it moving, but what she needs to work on is her relationship with the husband.
She can say sorry to MIL but she still has got to spend the rest of her life with a man WHO DOES NOT LISTEN TO HER!!!
So the golden question is: was a maid worth all this drama? The 'burden' of housework surely can't be worse than this headache you've landed yourself in.
i) whether or not you hire a maid, that decision is yours and your husband's. It's none of your parents' business. It only becomes their business if they want to get you a maid themselves.
ii) you have no idea how good you'll make yourself look if you just apologize to your husband's family right away and let it be done with - he'll really appreciate it. For future, keep your parents out of this.
iii) can't believe your dad handled that so poorly
iv) can't believe your husband was smiling!
v) listen to what mabrook said in the other thread.
By saying sorry to them, they will put me under their pressure and will always ask my husband to sorry them even when it's not my mistake. Cuz it's not the first time some problem has arise it's been 2 years since my Mil keeps on becoming rude sab k samnay taanay marti hain. Then hubby says koi baat nai Tum ja k bat cheet Karlo. Now he has started saying tum ja k sorry kar lo ab he will keep saying this next time whenever something happens. N somebody asked me my age. I'm 22.
Gullible i hav seen stubborn girls like u who won't say sorry ,get things to the point when their marriage gets at stake, goes to parent's house, everyone starts talking abt divorce n divorce seems at head. then after 3-4 months or sometime yr they get senses n want to go back. these same girls then fall into their mils n husband's feet n say sorry n beg them to take them back.
jub aik meethi zuban se u can handle situation then y worsen it?
if u get divorce from this guy after sometime u urself will think"itni bari baat nahin thee. kia tha jo main sorry keh daiti"
i think Gullible the problem isn't ur husband n ILs only. u r a part of problem too. u r not flexible n compromising enuf, u don't know how to turn things in ur favour, u hav same ego issues as them.
mat kero sorry. but how r u gonna survive in such a hateful environment i dunno.
ager tumharay parents tumhain support ker saktay hain tu theek hai get separation.
In my opinion I will talk to my Mil calmly n will tell her the whole story wat exactly happened cuz neither my fighting Sil nor my hubby has told her Sil said and that she started it. Us k bad dekhtay hain Kya hota hai
In my opinion I will talk to my Mil calmly n will tell her the whole story wat exactly happened cuz neither my fighting Sil nor my hubby has told her Sil said and that she started it. Us k bad dekhtay hain Kya hota hai
Gullible.............jo bhi faisla lo.....use your aqal.......aur achi tarah se soch lo k tumharay plan k kya faiday hon gay aur kya nuqsaan.
I'm telling you right now...........standing in front of your MIL and telling her "Aunti...darasal baat yeh hai k yeh poori argument aap ki beti ne shuroo ki thi, bla bla bla bla." ......may not work. Tumhari MIL tum ko shuroo se hi pasand nahi karti.........aur woh har haal main apni beti ki hi side lay gi. Tum chahy laakh dafa MIL ko samjhao k un ki beti ne sara drama shuroo kiya tha............woh is baat ko nahin maanay gi. Even agar tum apni doosri SIL.....jis se tumhari understanding hai.......agar woh SIL bhi apni Maa ko samjhanay ki koshish karay k tumhara koi kasoor nahin hai.......to shayad tab bhi tumhari MIL na maanay. Kya pata tumhari MIL tum par ilzam lagaye k tum ne us ki doosri beti ko family k khilaf kar diya hai?
Your MIL sounds like a crazy woman. Agar.............tum.........waaqaiy main MIL ko poori story samjhana chahti ho......agar yehi tumhari zid hai........to is tarha se samjhao k MIL mind na karay. Aur story sunanay k baad........please........MIL se MAAFI maang lo. Woh bachi ki tarha behave karna chahti hai....to karnay do. Kum se kum tum to maturely behave karo. Kam se kam tum to aqal se kam lo......aur maafi manglo......and let Allah deal with them.
Agar tum bilkul bhi maafi nahin maang sakti.........to phir socho k tum apnay husband k saath rehna chahti ho ya nahin. Because woh log tumhara jeena haram kar dain gay.
RV mil manay na manay n most prob she still won't understand her logics .This Sil is her right hand n most ladlee.
but then wat abt Sil n hubby? aren't they gonna remember wat Gullible did at their back. Sil will never forget n find ways in future to revenge. Hubby will remember how she insulted him by not obeying him n might get more strict next time.
to me its a plan to destruction.
RV mil manay na manay n most prob she still won't understand her logics .This Sil is her right hand n most ladlee.
but then wat abt Sil n hubby? aren't they gonna remember wat Gullible did at their back. Sil will never forget n find ways in future to revenge. Hubby will remember how she insulted him by not obeying him n might get more strict next time.
to me its a plan to destruction.
I know Mabrook. I told her in my post that her explanation/story is not going to work with MIL. I told her that MIL har haal main apni beti ki side lay gi. Right now only one SIL is supporting Gullible. And I told her that even if this NICE SIL tries to explain to her mother that Gullible is innocent...........MIL ulta Gullible par ilzam lagayi gi k tum ne meri doosri beti ko family k khilaf kar diya hai....tum ne aik behan ko doosri behan ki khilaf kar diya hai. That's what I tried telling her above.
And then I told her......k agar us ki zid hai k zaroor explanation deni hai......to soch samajh kar de.
Anyhow........what guaratnee is there that this "nice" SIL is going to be trustworthy? Kya pata yeh "nice" SIL bhi koi chalaki karay. To find out if this SIL is truthful........................here's an idea. Gullible should apologize to the whole family and not give any explanation of the whole story to MIL. Agar yeh "nice" SIL waqay main Gullible ki friend hai...........to woh khud......apnay aap.......apni maa (MIL) ko samjhaye gi. Aur agar woh apni Maa ko nai samjhati..........is ka matlab that the SIL is too weak........ya phir she's not true friend.
