Re: MY SAAS :( HELP
I guess the advice everyone has given so far isnt working. Can she come visit her parents for a while and prolong her visit somehow? I mean not necessarily leave him or seperate but just go on a longer maika visit? If the saas wouldnt allow that, maybe she can ask her parents on her behalf? OR one of the maika ppl can go visit, the chalak ones who will keep the MIL busy in meaningless talk everynight while the couple can get some time to themselves.
This MIL is sweet poison and needs to be caugh red handed. Time for baji to become technically savvy and use recording equipment.
Engineer another repeat of what happened the time b4, when she says she is ill and needs a lie down, but does all the work herself. Use a mobile phone to video herself working in all the rooms with the clock in the background.
Also record conversations by evil MIL.
Then collect them all and show husband.
Arrange for time our staying at relatives and tell husband u can't take this anymore. Then hopefully he will realise he prefers his wife n kid to his mum.
Here's another one. next time she walks in... and ur in the middle of something... ask her if she wants to join the party... that way im sure the husband will be locking the door, and MIL will think twice before opening it!
hahahhahha bilkul theek ,aisey ko tesa,my saas is monster too but not tht much,i read lot of replys but here u can use 2 ideas ,one u shud talk to ur husband very politely , lovingly and do acting cry and say in these words "mei ami ki bohot izat kerti hun mughe un ka bohot khayal ha ,lakin ami is tarah qamray mei aa jati hain mei bilkul bhi comfortable nahi hun "and tell him wht his mum does ,all crap his mum said,n cry loudly,,,,,,kabhi akbhi acting kerni perti hai
now even after tht ur sister face same situation then dont even talk to husband and dont let him closer to ur sister,may be dono betay maa ki aankhen khulay,,,,,,,,,,,,
Tell your baji to keep away from her husband ALL the time, tell her don't allow him to go even near u, using the excuse that MIL might walk in. Let this happen for a few days, and then HE will be the one locking the door.
This idea might just work !!
kill this b'tch
but the greatest advise NOW would be, put the damn sleeping pill in her chai/milk... but then there comes this Islamic "conflict"...we should be patient. Putting someone to sleep against his/her will is a sin...
I'd run away for a few days, just run away...are you his playing ball? Stand up and speak for yourself. You need help. Don't worry or is Allah not enough for his Servant!?
thats funny !!
Re: MY SAAS :( HELP
^
you think so?
Hello everybody just an update on the crazy saas (my poor poor baji). Today my brother-in-law went to work and my baji was not feeling so she told her saas she was going to lie down. Saas said, "pehle ghar ka kaam karte hain." Toh Baji made the kaana, and cleaned and jo bhi hai and went to lie down. 5 minutes before my brother-in-law came home the saas picked up a washcloth adn sat down on the kitchen floor and pretended to clean. Obviously her son wlaks in and sees his mom scrubbing the floor and he got really mad at baji. Does anyone else have a chalaak saas like this??// It's crazy. I was going to go visit my baji but now i m tooooo scared. Everyone has made good suggestions and baji has tried them all like 1) lock the door---husband gets mad 2)avoid husband--- saas feeds beta posion against bahu 3) discuss with the husband-- he doesnt care 4) stop fulfilling husbands needs in bed---- husband didnt say anything
We are running out of ideas..Please koi new idea
Hi Mahiya,
Here is my idea:
Tell your baji to realize that its HER husband, HER marriage, HER home, HER daughter, HER kitchen, HER food and HER life that her MIL is trying to steal. Then, tell her to not to get mad...get even. This is how:
Hubby must have a schedule, right? When he leaves for work and when he comes back? It seems as if the MIL knows it very well.
When hubby wake up to go to the office, tell baji to go to the kitchen and get busy making a BIG breakfast for her MIL. Then, as soon as he leaves, drop it.
When she makes food for the family and her hubby is there, make a production of it and give her MIL extra special treatment in front of him. Let him see it all.
If hubby asks questions about this change in behaviour, simply say she realizes her husband was right and wants to make sure she supports him because she cares for him.
Now, behind his back is where it gets tricky. She has to change her attitude and stop being scared of this burdiya. If she was a nice woman, I wouldnt say this. But she is mistreating this poor girl and destroying her marriage and family. I mean, COME ON...she cant have sex with her husband when she wants to???!!! Your baji needs to regain control of her home. Tell her to start banging pots and pans in the kitchen when she is in there and hubby is not home. Tell her to stop paying attention to her MIL altogether and do whatever she wants when hubby is not home.
Then, when he is about to come home, baji needs to start running around like she has been taking care of MIL ALL DAY LONG. When they are alone, she needs to talk about her MIL and when they go to bed, tell her to talk about her MIL. "Im so tired, I was taking care of ammi and baby all day aur ammi ki koi ghalti nahin hai lekin mein kabhi kabhar thakjati hoon". In front of him, she has to go out of her way to be nice to her MIL. "Ammi ko naraz nahin karna hai, ammi ne khana nahin khaya, ammi ki tabiyat kaisi hai, ammi ko kuch chahiye hai, ammi sahi se sogayein" etc etc etc.
The second and very crucial part to this: She needs to take care of herself more. He is a man at the end of the day and he needs to know what he is missing. Tell her to dress up, look nice, take care of her appearance and then get super busy doing things for his mother. That will not only make him miss her but he will soon start relating the lack of intimacy with his mother.
I know its evil of me to say this but it works. Agar MIL ko sukoon se rehna hota aur vo apni bahu ko pyar se raktien to koi problem hi nahin hai. Lekin jab aap shaadi karke apni bahu khud leke ayeen hein to usko tang karna achi baat nahin hai. These MIL forget that DIL are now their own daughters...an extension of their own family. They forget how alienated girls can feel so far away from their own parents and support system.
A lot of people might not agree with this tactic but its tried and tested in my family. My little sister's MIL has three sons but she loves torturing my sister because she is young, naive and way too nice. We did this with my sister (her MIL did the SAME EXACT things) and guess what ladies? MIL was flying to Texas in less then a month to see her daughter AND she hasnt been back since! :)
Re: MY SAAS 
HELP
^:k:
Hi Mahiya,
Here is my idea:
Tell your baji to realize that its HER husband, HER marriage, HER home, HER daughter, HER kitchen, HER food and HER life that her MIL is trying to steal. Then, tell her to not to get mad...get even. This is how:
Hubby must have a schedule, right? When he leaves for work and when he comes back? It seems as if the MIL knows it very well.
When hubby wake up to go to the office, tell baji to go to the kitchen and get busy making a BIG breakfast for her MIL. Then, as soon as he leaves, drop it.
When she makes food for the family and her hubby is there, make a production of it and give her MIL extra special treatment in front of him. Let him see it all.
If hubby asks questions about this change in behaviour, simply say she realizes her husband was right and wants to make sure she supports him because she cares for him.
Now, behind his back is where it gets tricky. She has to change her attitude and stop being scared of this burdiya. If she was a nice woman, I wouldnt say this. But she is mistreating this poor girl and destroying her marriage and family. I mean, COME ON...she cant have sex with her husband when she wants to???!!! Your baji needs to regain control of her home. Tell her to start banging pots and pans in the kitchen when she is in there and hubby is not home. Tell her to stop paying attention to her MIL altogether and do whatever she wants when hubby is not home.
Then, when he is about to come home, baji needs to start running around like she has been taking care of MIL ALL DAY LONG. When they are alone, she needs to talk about her MIL and when they go to bed, tell her to talk about her MIL. "Im so tired, I was taking care of ammi and baby all day aur ammi ki koi ghalti nahin hai lekin mein kabhi kabhar thakjati hoon". In front of him, she has to go out of her way to be nice to her MIL. "Ammi ko naraz nahin karna hai, ammi ne khana nahin khaya, ammi ki tabiyat kaisi hai, ammi ko kuch chahiye hai, ammi sahi se sogayein" etc etc etc.
The second and very crucial part to this: She needs to take care of herself more. He is a man at the end of the day and he needs to know what he is missing. Tell her to dress up, look nice, take care of her appearance and then get super busy doing things for his mother. That will not only make him miss her but he will soon start relating the lack of intimacy with his mother.
I know its evil of me to say this but it works. Agar MIL ko sukoon se rehna hota aur vo apni bahu ko pyar se raktien to koi problem hi nahin hai. Lekin jab aap shaadi karke apni bahu khud leke ayeen hein to usko tang karna achi baat nahin hai. These MIL forget that DIL are now their own daughters...an extension of their own family. They forget how alienated girls can feel so far away from their own parents and support system.
A lot of people might not agree with this tactic but its tried and tested in my family. My little sister's MIL has three sons but she loves torturing my sister because she is young, naive and way too nice. We did this with my sister (her MIL did the SAME EXACT things) and guess what ladies? MIL was flying to Texas in less then a month to see her daughter AND she hasnt been back since! :)
Ok your plans sounds very good and i will tell my baji. InshAllah this will solve everything so she can live in peace.
You are evil , but two thumbs up , it should work.
I will modify a little once MIL has been straigthend out , baji should be nice to her again and baji should tell her that baji will be nice to her if she is nice to baji. Good luck.
Hi Mahiya,
Here is my idea:
Tell your baji to realize that its HER husband, HER marriage, HER home, HER daughter, HER kitchen, HER food and HER life that her MIL is trying to steal. Then, tell her to not to get mad...get even. This is how:....
Don't get mad, get even. I LOVE IT!!!! SUPERB PLAN!!! Best response, mahiya, let us know what happens when this plan is followed.
Re: MY SAAS HELP
i suggest a simple lock on the door of ur MIL on the outside:hehe:
Re: MY SAAS :( HELP
My MIL also likes to barge in. My personal favorite was when she used to walk into the bathroom when my kids were in there. (she apparently thought that half-gora kids don't clean properly after paying a visit. On a visit several years ago, I just locked the doors, locked the filing cabinets, and hid the safe in the laundry room. When she moved the things in my kitchen, I moved them back, when that didn't work, I labelled the contents of every cabinet. When she moved the furniture, I moved it back, then and there. I never moved a single thing when I was living in her home, went out of my way to adapt, and my efforts were never accepted or appreciated. I set my limits, and that was the worst visit we ever had, but by and large things have reached somewhat of an impasse since then. I even put up a chore chart for everyone in the house (my kids have been doing chores since they were big enough to hold a dustcloth.
She still carps about some things to me, and I am still obsessive compulsive about where everything belongs, but our relationship has improved. She treats me with a modicum of respect (most of the time) and shock/gasp even asks my opinion now and then. In return I cook her favorite foods, ask her to teach me new dishes, and take her shopping (not too often - can't afford to go bankrupt, LOL). I suppose what I am trying to tell you is that your sister has to stand up to her (more cleverly than me, since she doesn't have her husband's support), or be a doormat all for the rest of her life. Oh, and she shouldn't forget to dress up and show her husband a little extra love at this time.
Re: MY SAAS :( HELP
Amana, I couldnt agree with you more. After she establishes some mutual respect, there will be plenty of opportunitites to be nice and caring. But now is the time to protect your marriage.
Mahiya, your baji needs to regain ownership of her marriage, home and life. She is probably a very nice young girl and does not like to fight or argue. But in these situations, what choice does one have?
It all starts with an attitude change. Her husband has a responsibility towards her to protect her, cherish her and keep her happy. She has a right to this and if its not being given to her on a silver platter, there are other ways to get it. ;-)
I hope things improve for your baji, Inshallah.
Re: MY SAAS :( HELP
PLAN IS WORKING
for the last few days baji has been getting very dressed up and looking good and then giving full attention to saas and child.... also at night she pulled out all of her nighties that she had gotten near the time of her wedding (so they r basically soemthing her husband would enjoy) and put them in a box....husband was confused so baji said that she is going to give them away..they r almost new and i have no need for them...when baji went in the closet bhai emptied the box back into the drawer lol.... then she put oin a plain old tshirt adn pajama pants adn turned off the light and lied down... bhai asked what happned..., she said she is too tired bcuz of all the work she did for saas.... also she has been playing tricks on the saas... when the saas complains about food or chaai or whatever... baji tells the saas to teach her...so saas is doing half of the work lollzzz ...baji is feeling kind of bad but hopefully it wont last long..thanx for all your amazing advice
Re: MY SAAS :( HELP
YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tell your baji to keep away from her husband ALL the time, tell her don't allow him to go even near u, using the excuse that MIL might walk in. Let this happen for a few days, and then HE will be the one locking the door.
ahaha Good One!!!!
PLAN IS WORKING for the last few days baji has been getting very dressed up and looking good and then giving full attention to saas and child.... also at night she pulled out all of her nighties that she had gotten near the time of her wedding (so they r basically soemthing her husband would enjoy) and put them in a box....husband was confused so baji said that she is going to give them away..they r almost new and i have no need for them...when baji went in the closet bhai emptied the box back into the drawer lol.... then she put oin a plain old tshirt adn pajama pants adn turned off the light and lied down... bhai asked what happned..., she said she is too tired bcuz of all the work she did for saas.... also she has been playing tricks on the saas... when the saas complains about food or chaai or whatever... baji tells the saas to teach her...so saas is doing half of the work lollzzz ...baji is feeling kind of bad but hopefully it wont last long..thanx for all your amazing advice
EXCELLENT!!!! Tell your baji to keep it up, DO NOT GIVE UP!
My sister moved to Canada a little while ago with her husband. They have one daughter whose 10 months. Two months ago her saas came to live with us. Her saas is always causing misunderstandings between her husband and her. But the worse problem is that at night when they r in their room she sometimes just walks in making dumb excuses. I think that is sooo disrespectful!! Like how can you walk into your son and daughter-in-laws room when they are both in their with the door closed. Like come one your not a small kid. But her husband doesnt even say anything to her. She started to lock the bedroom door at night and her husband got irritated saying that theres no need to do that and " Amee jaan parshan ho jaye gi!" I have nooooo idea what to do!! Please help so i can help her!
I think mom should sleep in the middle so she doesnn't get parshaaaaaaan!