MY SAAS :( HELP

Lifestyle Relationships
101

Re: MY SAAS :( HELP

distance!!!....keeps the relationship going...even when the mil leaves..your baji should 'be' independent...her husband would value the time spent together even more..

Welcome Little Princess
102

Re: MY SAAS :( HELP

u mostly visit her room, also offer her that u wanna sleep with her, take ur child and go into her room at any time of nite even if she is sleeping, wen ur child srying or any activity wil disturb her she would say" hun tur vee ja apny kamray wich" n just say ur husband u r taking care of SAAs. then he will b happy with u n saas is......

103

yesssssssssssssssssssssss :)

104

I discussed this problem with my wife who is a Psychiatrist.
As per her there are mainly two reasons for it.

  1. Utter Jealousy.
  2. Lack of Self Entertainment.

Now as per 1st point, these kind of ladies became jealous when suddenly their loving mama's pet sorry boy becomes pet sorry husband of another girl and start to live a new life. So in real this MILs want their own control on their pet boys, which in real they are loosing gradually. So what is done in return is that un-consciously ( most of the time) they want to ruin the mood or atmosphere at the worst time, just to show their existence and authorities. This is a simple psychological trauma through which many MiLs go through.

  1. Secondly, some of the bad/chalak MiLs do it cause they are not having their own fun in bed at that age, so they cant tolerate some one else doing it as well especially their sons, whose diapers they have changed till his university graduation.

So this is all psycholigical problem. Someof the solutions are worth doing it. Specially one very effective would lying dart naked and extremely passionate in bed and suddenly stand up while she walks in. This seems eccentric but would be very embarassing for both sides. later your sister can make her case for not letting MiL in.

Hope this helps..

105

Re: MY SAAS :( HELP

Very professional analysis and solution. Shock therapy works many times , and the solutions suggested here is shock therapy , it is bound to work, at least to stop her MIL from barging in without knocking or seeking permission.

106

Re: MY SAAS :( HELP

[QUOTE]

Originally Posted by mahiya_f
PLAN IS WORKING
for the last few days baji has been getting very dressed up and looking good and then giving full attention to saas and child.... also at night she pulled out all of her nighties that she had gotten near the time of her wedding (so they r basically soemthing her husband would enjoy) and put them in a box....husband was confused so baji said that she is going to give them away..they r almost new and i have no need for them...when baji went in the closet bhai emptied the box back into the drawer lol.... then she put oin a plain old tshirt adn pajama pants adn turned off the light and lied down... bhai asked what happned..., she said she is too tired bcuz of all the work she did for saas.... also she has been playing tricks on the saas... when the saas complains about food or chaai or whatever... baji tells the saas to teach her...so saas is doing half of the work lollzzz ...baji is feeling kind of bad but hopefully it wont last long..thanx for all your amazing advice

[/QUOTE]

yeah but tell her to gradually change, dont do everything in one day otherwise the saas and son will figure it out and the plan will backfire!

Cafe Mafia
107

Hey Mahiya!! Hope you and your baji are well. Insha'Allah.

Awwww, I know exactly how your sister feels. When I first got married 3 years back, my MIN was exactly the same. Our wedding ended at 3am anyway as I lived far from my hubbys place so by the time we got home it was well late. Practically the whole night she came knocking on the door saying stuff to my hubby. WHAT ON EARTH??!! I was just thinking, ok maybe there is just something she forgot to tell him, so I was cool with it, but this continued nearly every night!!

I was really mad and so was hubby because we both are doctors and we hardly have any time together as we both work. I mean spending time at the hospital together is impossible (obviously), and she used to think we spend the whole day??!!

Sister all I am going to say is that near enough all MIL's are the same. They just get a little jealous as another member mentioned earlier. I wouls suggest you baji to just sit and explain to her hubby that look, 'If you want us to be exposed infront of your mum while trying to conceive, then go ahead and call her in'. Don't say it in a rude manner but in a way that knocks some sense into him. Also, try not to let him get close to you. Avoid any kind of physical contact, until he doesnt feel that it's his mum who is the reason you are drifting a little and hesitating. If she does it in this way, it will make him realise that he has to take some kind of action. It maybe that he either starts to feel the need to lock the door, or actually talks to his mum.

In my case, my hubby spoke to his mum but then that didn't really work, so what he did was decided to move out. Sister, your sister and brother-in-law need to know the way to talk, rather your sister needs to know how to react infront of her hubby. If she does that for some time, he will soon come to realise what he is missing. I promise. But as the last poster said, do not, and i repeat DO NOT DO IT EVERYDAY. THATS WILL REVERT.

Do let us know how it goes.
Take care
and Ramdhan Mubarak to all
:)

108

:biggthumb

hope all is going good with ur sister!