My rishta situation (again).....

[S02]

Re: My rishta situation (again)…

@Saby

maybe he is upset about something and you two are not close enough yet that he is comfortable sharing it with you?

Welcome back

And I agree. There’s too many unknowns to warrant you’re thinking about this so much. There’s other stuff going on in your life right now. Give that some attention and don’t let this rishta overwhelm you. If it works out great, if not, then inshAllah you’ll have a better connection with the next one.

[STA]

Re: My rishta situation (again)…

@Ashy2010

The guy (and for that matter the girl) has the right to consider as many candidates as they like before making the decision. We should give the guy that much allowance if he is looking elsewhere. **He is not committed to Inspiron nor has he said that it is final from his side. He just expressed his liking which can or can be infatuation. **He is not dating inspiron, his behaviour is not unacceptable (besides that **he is making inspiron and her family wait, which is very much normal in an arrange setting). It is inspiron who should understand that guys and their families in an arranged setting do keep on looking for better options (although they may keep someone in reserve and make them wait). **

Better to keep the contact minimum from your side, just be on the receiving end. Let your dad call him if he feels like doing it. And keep on looking at other proposals. Keep your expectations as low as possible from that guy. His polite and happy talks may merely be just his nature which you might be taking as signs of his interest.

@inspiron

Yes i completely understand what your saying it makes sense.

You see this is a first for me, ive never experienced it before and even though i have alot of family they are mainly in pakistan so ive never seen it.

Im starting to understand this now.

I havent contacted him at all (since my how are you text on wednesday) and i will wait for him to contact me first if he wishes to do so.

The rest ive left upto my dad who said he might call this weekend..

I didnt go home this weekend so i dont know if my dad has or not, will call home tonight and find out!

thanks for the advice everyone really appreciate it

stayyabali you werent saying that at all.

hopefully, you get it.

[inspiron]

Re: My rishta situation (again)…

@stayyabali

hopefully, you get it.

yes i understand what ashy was saying, i didnt find your ‘hes not interested move on’ comments helpful at all.

[Shak]

Re: My rishta situation (again)…

@inspiron

yes i understand what ashy was saying, i didnt find your ‘hes not interested move on’ comments helpful at all.

Then I think you’re determined to think only one way and that he likes you no matter what the evidence or anybody else suggests

[inspiron]

Re: My rishta situation (again)…

@Shak09

Then I think you’re determined to think only one way and that he likes you no matter what the evidence or anybody else suggests

no i understand that he MAY not like me…but its not definite yet, its not definite that he 100% likes me or dislikes me.

[ZareenKhan]

Re: My rishta situation (again)…

Lol. STOP confusing yourself. I am shocked that you and your family are still waiting up on him.

He has every right to ask for more time but he has to talk about it with your family. If he can’t be bothered to do it, then he is not worth the wait and anxiety.

[Shak]

Re: My rishta situation (again)…

If he did like you he’d be after you and not the other way around. If he did like you he’d make sure that both of you knew where you stood. As a guy trust me.

What’s pretty clear is that he does not like you and doesn’t really seem bothered. Also what seems clear is that YOU like him and that feeling isn’t clearly mutual, not fully anyway, which means he’s entitled to wait around which he clearly is doing instead of committing himself.

Pretty simple, sorry if I was harsh =)

[inspiron]

Re: My rishta situation (again)…

Oh UPDATE

Mum just called me (i dont live at home)

He text my dad on Sunday night saying sorry he hasn’t called and that he is out of the country at the moment on business and that he will call as soon as he is back.

Whether he will call to say he is not interested anymore or to move things forward…i dont know..

I did think…it would be nice if he told me before me left, but then again…we arent in any form of relationship so he really doesnt have to.

[Ashy2010]

Re: My rishta situation (again)…

So my advice again… keep your expectations as low as possible… He may or may not call ur dad when he is back… May be he is just lingering things on… May be he is really busy… Till then, do not think about him much…

[partyslims]

Re: My rishta situation (again)…

@Shak09

If he did like you he’d be after you and not the other way around. If he did like you he’d make sure that both of you knew where you stood. As a guy trust me.

So much This!!!

But then again, he could be an extremely formal dude or something, who knows.. I’ve never heard of someone makeing someone else sweat so much over a pre rishta thingy whatever it is, usually its a yes or no pretty much straight away.. but oh well.. Hope things work out for the best for you inspiron

[inspiron]

Re: My rishta situation (again)…

@partyslims

So much This!!!

But then again, he could be an extremely formal dude or something, who knows.. I’ve never heard of someone makeing someone else sweat so much over a pre rishta thingy whatever it is, usually its a yes or no pretty much straight away.. but oh well.. Hope things work out for the best for you inspiron

Thanks party, shak and ashy for your advice.

We did get the initial ‘yes’ from him last week…

Its just that since that ‘yes’ where he said he will invite us over soon…he has been totally MIA seems really un-interested completely out of touch with me…

You guys are right…maybe he is a very formal guy, maybe he is very very busy…(i know once he went into work at 8am and left at 10pm).

Maybe he needs more time.

Maybe he doesnt like me…if this is the case i really just want a clear NO from him.

blahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

[Shak]

Re: My rishta situation (again)…

@inspiron

Maybe he doesnt like me…if this is the case i really just want a clear NO from him.

In that case ask him as it is clearly bothering you! When it *shouldn’*t bother you as you’ve just said that you’re not in a relationship with him

[inspiron]

Re: My rishta situation (again)…

@Shak09

In that case ask him as it is clearly bothering you! When it *shouldn’*t bother you as you’ve just said that you’re not in a relationship with him

I want a clear No if this is the case because bless my family they are kind of exciting confused too…

My mum when she talks to me is like ‘have you thought about an outfit to wear to his house for when he invites us?’

In my head im thinking…mum he hasnt even invited us over yet why would i plan an outfit.

In the 2 years of looking for me this is the first rishta that has said yes and thats why everyone is quite nervous/anxious/excited…esp me haha

[Ira]

Re: My rishta situation (again)…

@redvelvet

^You say you’re chill…but you don’t sound it. I don’t think you should have called him on Wednesday. I also don’t think you should wait around for him to invite you…just continue living your life and don’t get too attached. He’ll do it when the time is right and if he’s that interested. Also, I don’t think that invitation will necessarily result in a marriage…so let’s say that you and your family do get invited…u still need to keep cool. Maybe consider coming up with a time-frame after which you seriously move on (emotionally) from this guy if he’s still wishy-washy…and keep your options open.

What she said.

[Chipotle]

Re: My rishta situation (again)…

dump him
move on

[ZareenKhan]

Re: My rishta situation (again)…

@inspiron

In the 2 years of looking for me this is the first rishta that has said yes and thats why everyone is quite nervous/anxious/excited…esp me haha

I can understand that but it’s ok. Maybe something extraordinary is waiting out there for you which is taking all this time trust me, once you get your match finally all this wait will be worth it ;).

My best to you.

[inspiron]

Re: My rishta situation (again)…

@Chipotle

dump him
move on

why so?

[Chipotle]

Re: My rishta situation (again)…

@inspiron

Oh UPDATE

Mum just called me (i dont live at home)

He text my dad on Sunday night saying sorry he hasn’t called and that he is out of the country at the moment on business and that he will call as soon as he is back.

Whether he will call to say he is not interested anymore or to move things forward…i dont know..

I did think…it would be nice if he told me before me left, but then again…we arent in any form of relationship so he really doesn’t have to.

Please be kind to your self and your family and have some self respect. If a guy really wants to marry a girl he can move mountains to get her other wise he’ll make excuses of all kinds. What ever I have read by far it’s apparent that the guy has no intentions to be with you and he has no guts to say it to your face. Personally I am more concerned with the later part. I would never be with such a guy

[Chipotle]

Re: My rishta situation (again)…

@inspiron

why so?

Well for him you are just a backup plan i.e. let’s see if he can get the other much better girl, if not you are always there

[S02]

Re: My rishta situation (again)…

^ I did wonder if that was the reason he was out of town.

He said “yes” to continue to meet you and get to know you better. That doesn’t mean he feels he’s found the one. I agree with Ashy that he’s not really doing anything wrong by keeping his options open. And you need to do the same. You are understandably excited and pinning your hopes on this, but the guy is neither ready or interested (yet) in that kind of commitment to you.