Re: My rishta situation (again)…
Sheila Ho Gai Jawaan Hai! 
Hello Prem Minister! I didn’t know you were also a Smurf 
Now why in the name of Jeebus can’t a girl’s father call the guy?
Re: My rishta situation (again).....
He clearly is looking elsewhere and does not want to lose you just in case he does not find a better girl. You also have the right to look elsewhere and do not say NO to any other rishta. He might just say that his family or mom is not interested in you when he wants to close the chapter with you. So please do not have any expectations from him. As others say, keep on moving with your own life, considering any other proposal that comes along the way, and responding to him whenever he returns depending on your status at that time.
Let your dad handle the matter the way he wants. May be he will be able to have a CLEAR response from him. All the best for your future.
Re: My rishta situation (again).....
Inspiron........do not message him first because you haven't heard from him.......it makes you appear needy even if you argue that you were totally relaxed with him. I say this because....you are not projecting (imo) a relaxed vibe in your own thread.....and this is online where we can't even hear your voice or see your facial expressions. If he's interested in your family....he or his parents can call your family in a more formal way. You can remain cordial, because as Reha said you don't know what the future holds, but don't allow yourself to get emotionally attached to him....as it can go either way. I really don't think it's a bad idea for your dad to call and put an end to this suspense. You and your family should not have to put your life on hold because of one inconsistent guy. Also, here's another thought to consider. I think that men understand men better........so being a man.......you dad might even be able to figure this guy out when he talks him.
Re: My rishta situation (again)…
haha smurf!
Re: My rishta situation (again).....
in my opinion, your father should look for another rishta for you.
Re: My rishta situation (again).....
Im not attracted to him that much to be honest. I really like the rishta because he is very compatable with me.
p.s. Ive had a relationship in the past so its not like im obsessed with him just because he is giving me attention
how can a person ignoring you can be compatible with you?
Re: My rishta situation (again).....
in an arranged marriage setting its the guy and his family who go after the girl and her family...not the other way around.
Re: My rishta situation (again).....
My opinion, if he isn't as excited as you are to have you in his life, it is better to start considering another, he knows that if he doesn't act soon that you can start considering someone else, but he isn't sweating it at all, at least that is what it sounds like to me, not trying to dampen your hopes honey, just giving you my advice, inshallah, everything will turn out great for you.
Re: My rishta situation (again).....
Thanks for everyones advice :)
For those who say his family havent been mentioned...I have said.
His family came to my family home so everyone has met everyone....apart from his mother who is in pakistan due to family member being very ill.
I havent contacted him at all and ive had a great weekend with my friends and kept myself busy and distracted. Lets hope all goes well and i will keep you guys updated :)
Re: My rishta situation (again).....
all can do to hope for a wake up call for you. Don;t waste your time and your value, look for someone who gets worried for you as you are getting worried for this guy.
Re: My rishta situation (again).....
Inspiron!!! Pal, please don't get so obsessed with something that is barely a month or so old. It is not healthy in any way. In general, you are setting yourself up for big disappointments in life with this attitude. I hope you take care of this now!
Re: My rishta situation (again).....
Hey Inspiron, I was thinking about sending you a message to see how it's been working out for you.
Like many said, he might be talking to someone else and keeping you as an option or just still thinking about it all and taking his time. I would still say it's too early.
You're doing good, try not to message him or push him but if another rishta comes along, bring it up to him so he knows he can't just leave you hanging in there. Or better, wait it out a week or two and then have your dad call him.
Re: My rishta situation (again).....
how can a person ignoring you can be compatible with you?
This is exactly wht I was thinking.
Also, inspiron, u mentioned that he is from a more Americanized family in ur other thread. While ur family is much more conservative. So how is this compatible?
My fiance's family is much more conservative and it can really make a big difference. Like when they brought the rishta... We said yes after a month. Until then, they were waiting. I really think that the guy's side should be the one waiting for an answer and not the other way around. But I really dont know.. thts just the way all my rishta meetings happened. They would come and we would say no withing a few days. However, with my fiance we didnt say no or yes for a month. Also, when we said yes, they wanted to know the wedding date.. my mom was like "we wanna get them engaged first and then talk about marriage after a few months".
Soo at the pace ur freaking out.. it just seems too much.
just keep looking at potential rishtas and if they are interested, they will come talk to ur dad. I dont c why ur dad is directly talking to the guy. He should be talking to his parents. It just seems weird tht the guy is doing all his rishta stuff by himself. If his parents are involved in the rishta process and came to ur house then ur dad should be in touch with his parents, not him. Also, I thought ur dad just wanted him to call so u guys could get to know each other... he called, so now what is the problem? Just get to know him and if he is still interested, then u guys can go from there.
Inspiron!!! Pal, please don't get so obsessed with something that is barely a month or so old. It is not healthy in any way. In general, you are setting yourself up for big disappointments in life with this attitude. I hope you take care of this now!
This is the best advice u will get inspiron... just keep ur options open... hope for the best but expect the worst. DOnt get so vulnerable so quick. Just keep living the way u were before all this and if it's ment to be then it will happen. Stop wasting ur time and energy on him and if he's really into u then he will show it.
hahahha soo many cliche's all packed in one paragraph. sigh
Re: My rishta situation (again).....
One question that comes to my mind here ...Will you go with your parents choice or they will accept your decision ?I think your Parents being more sensible than you must be aware about all of the proceeding and they know how to handle this matter. Always remember:Maa baap apne bachoon ko sab kuch dete hain lekin nahe de paatay tau ek naseeb nahe de paatay ... Allah Pak aap ka naseeb acha kare, Aameen !
Re: My rishta situation (again).....
Peace Inspiron
Lusi hit it on the head ... But I would like to bring it home a bit further ... Remember this is not a job application. It is not just YOU who has to be acceptable to HIM, but HE has to be acceptable to YOU. The way you've written it sounds so one sided. That it is his decision only. Look he may be putting you on reserve before he sees other potential candidates. This type of mentality is not in your favour.
In your best interests you need a man who is TRUTHFUL ... if he said he will get back to you but did not ... he defaulted on his promise and hence you have grounds to question his character. In Islam a person who can't fulfil his promises is not a person of excellent character. Remember you should also have a set of requirements that need to be fulfilled ... don't worry about whether you've met his requirements ... you have to see whether he meets yours too.
Don't just look at the words of a person ... but see how his actions live up to them.
Re: My rishta situation (again).....
The guy (and for that matter the girl) has the right to consider as many candidates as they like before making the decision. We should give the guy that much allowance if he is looking elsewhere. He is not committed to Inspiron nor has he said that it is final from his side. He just expressed his liking which can or can be infatuation. He is not dating inspiron, his behaviour is not unacceptable (besides that he is making inspiron and her family wait, which is very much normal in an arrange setting). It is inspiron who should understand that guys and their families in an arranged setting do keep on looking for better options (although they may keep someone in reserve and make them wait).
Better to keep the contact minimum from your side, just be on the receiving end. Let your dad call him if he feels like doing it. And keep on looking at other proposals. Keep your expectations as low as possible from that guy. His polite and happy talks may merely be just his nature which you might be taking as signs of his interest.
Re: My rishta situation (again).....
One question that comes to my mind here ...Will you go with your parents choice or they will accept your decision ?I think your Parents being more sensible than you must be aware about all of the proceeding and they know how to handle this matter. Always remember:Maa baap apne bachoon ko sab kuch dete hain lekin nahe de paatay tau ek naseeb nahe de paatay ... Allah Pak aap ka naseeb acha kare, Aameen !
agree
Re: My rishta situation (again).....
The guy (and for that matter the girl) has the right to consider as many candidates as they like before making the decision. We should give the guy that much allowance if he is looking elsewhere. He is not committed to Inspiron nor has he said that it is final from his side. He just expressed his liking which can or can be infatuation. He is not dating inspiron, his behaviour is not unacceptable (besides that he is making inspiron and her family wait, which is very much normal in an arrange setting). It is inspiron who should understand that guys and their families in an arranged setting do keep on looking for better options (although they may keep someone in reserve and make them wait).
Better to keep the contact minimum from your side, just be on the receiving end. Let your dad call him if he feels like doing it. And keep on looking at other proposals. Keep your expectations as low as possible from that guy. His polite and happy talks may merely be just his nature which you might be taking as signs of his interest.
That is what i am saying about.
Re: My rishta situation (again).....
The guy (and for that matter the girl) has the right to consider as many candidates as they like before making the decision. We should give the guy that much allowance if he is looking elsewhere. He is not committed to Inspiron nor has he said that it is final from his side. He just expressed his liking which can or can be infatuation. He is not dating inspiron, his behaviour is not unacceptable (besides that he is making inspiron and her family wait, which is very much normal in an arrange setting). It is inspiron who should understand that guys and their families in an arranged setting do keep on looking for better options (although they may keep someone in reserve and make them wait).
Better to keep the contact minimum from your side, just be on the receiving end. Let your dad call him if he feels like doing it. And keep on looking at other proposals. Keep your expectations as low as possible from that guy. His polite and happy talks may merely be just his nature which you might be taking as signs of his interest.
Yes i completely understand what your saying it makes sense.
You see this is a first for me, ive never experienced it before and even though i have alot of family they are mainly in pakistan so ive never seen it.
Im starting to understand this now.
I havent contacted him at all (since my how are you text on wednesday) and i will wait for him to contact me first if he wishes to do so.
The rest ive left upto my dad who said he might call this weekend..
I didnt go home this weekend so i dont know if my dad has or not, will call home tonight and find out!
thanks for the advice everyone really appreciate it :)
stayyabali you werent saying that at all.
Re: My rishta situation (again).....
inspi, hate to be a party pooper, but this is a trait of some of the nicer guys who start something, then realize they dont want it, and then kinda linger on without any firm commitment. I suggest you ditch the douche!