Re: My Rishta demands
too bad for me…you are 3 feet piddi si pengu.
Re: My Rishta demands
these days there r more single girls compared to single men. an eligable bachlor is available only for a short while. he is taken faster than lightning.lol. so keep education and sharafat for the 1st stage only. and see how he treats his elders and lesser fortunate people for the 2nd stage. and for the 3rd stage see how he understand u and vice versa. i hope these help. cause they helped me when i got marred 15 yrs ago.
Re: My Rishta demands
marry a molvi...
Re: My Rishta demands
Sorry to inform you but this guy just left for Pakistan to hookup with a 19yr old.
Re: My Rishta demands
Someone being religious doesnt guarantee anything...thats my observation. I know men who recite Qur'an every single day yet treat their wives like meat. I used to think a guy being namazi is great...now not so sure if it even matters. Religion is something that is WITHIN you...you dont wear it like a badge...its a personal relationship you have with Allah swt. A man that prays 5 times a day and recites Qur'an doesnt make a great husband.
Education is a great thing but again...I have run into what you would call "parhay likhay jaahil"...it doesnt guarantee anything but a paycheck...something you dont need a man for.
Istikhara is a good step to take...I agree with you there. Is it necessary? No. Allah swt has created man...and with this body he also gave us a brain to use. Istikhara is great but I plan on also using the tools He gave me...something I didnt do before.
Your requirements Zobi are generic. A gadha can easily fulfill them...phir kya karogi? Im not trying to be mean here...but just being practical and wondering out loud since Im also going through this process now.
The best way is to get to know him...thats it. Get to know his family and him.
Watch him, the way he treats people, his passions, his desires, his outlooks on life, his opinions on all matters, how close he is to his family, etc.
Reha said everything I wanted to day. If someone reads Quran everyday , not only pray 5 times but also tahajud that does not make him a better husband or a father.
I like what Sahar said that degrees are for resumes and not for marriage. It does not make someone a better or bad person.
Re: My Rishta demands
Wow.
Ok.
If I can have lizard I'll be happy and here she is asking for someone who recited Quran every day air uppar se 10 aur demands.
:-/
Lady, this is crazy. Settle for the man who has a good smile and loves you.
Re: My Rishta demands
5???
A one day event should not affect your choice of a (hopefully) life-time partner!!! And if you are using that choice of his as a way of knowing whether he is a simple or extravagant person, then one criterion is not enough!
Focus on the things that you DO NOT want and CANNOT tolerate in your partner and do not compromise on those.
Re: My Rishta demands
ROFLMAO, I totally meet all your requirements though, except for age, I just turned 25. Plus I am married to a Palestinian chick.
I'm laughing at the fact that all those "shareef" guys in the U.S are going to be mommy's boys and constant porn watchers. You don't want that.
Why don't you go for a guy whose at least had a few girls and will know what hes' doing. So he won't be "finished" in about 10 seconds.
You're actually suggesting a shareef laRhki marry a zaani?!? just to satisfy that last statement of yours! thats disgusting.
You go on about sunnah in your other threads, how about you stick to that which God made farz, as in the commands in the Quran about guarding our chastity (yes, the Quran applies the same ruling be it muslim men or woman!)
Re: My Rishta demands
these days there r more single girls compared to single men. an eligable bachlor is available only for a short while. he is taken faster than lightning.lol. so keep education and sharafat for the 1st stage only. and see how he treats his elders and lesser fortunate people for the 2nd stage. and for the 3rd stage see how he understand u and vice versa. i hope these help. cause they helped me when i got marred 15 yrs ago.
thank you...i might sound really demanding but i am not.
marry a molvi...
why?
Sorry to inform you but this guy just left for Pakistan to hookup with a 19yr old.
lol. congratz to him.
Reha said everything I wanted to day. If someone reads Quran everyday , not only pray 5 times but also tahajud that does not make him a better husband or a father.
I like what Sahar said that degrees are for resumes and not for marriage. It does not make someone a better or bad person.
no one demanded a better husband, father, brother, son...all I asked is good.
Wow.
Ok.
If I can have lizard I'll be happy and here she is asking for someone who recited Quran every day air uppar se 10 aur demands.
:-/
Lady, this is crazy. Settle for the man who has a good smile and loves you.
PCG, app ki shadi jab hogi us din GS dekhay ga. and if am not wrong lizard is not even muslim, so you dont even a single demand to being with. Girl, dont stoop yourself that low.
5???
A one day event should not affect your choice of a (hopefully) life-time partner!!! And if you are using that choice of his as a way of knowing whether he is a simple or extravagant person, then one criterion is not enough!
Focus on the things that you DO NOT want and CANNOT tolerate in your partner and do not compromise on those.
no, it doesn't affect me. even if he is against of it, but his sisters and mother persist on have a blasting events i wont argue. its their sons wedding and they can have what ever they want. but my knowledge cant let me to have a extravagant luxurious wedding and the people i know back home didnt eat for several days.
there are three degrees of Iman....and if something bad is happening you should at least have third degree of iman where you see bad things are happening and neither you can raise a sword nor you can pin point it but at least call it bad in your heart.
Re: My Rishta demands
no one demanded a better husband, father, brother, son...all I asked is good.
Lol ! no words for you Zobia .
Re: My Rishta demands
Recite Quran every single day (even single ayat counts) with translations and tafseer. Reason: I dont want to marry a gadha who has a phd in human psyoclogy but dont understands the rights and values of his parents, siblings, the people around him and especially his wife.
Education Reason: all my siblings, including me hold (foreign) degrees.
is he planning to do Istakhara? reason: it shows how much one has blind faith on ALLAH SWT
1) I think in one hadith, the Prophet SAWS told his companions (who were distressed for not being in a constant state of worship)...that there's a time for this and a time for that. He SAWS also said that the heart is always changing...that it doesn't remain in one condition all the time. And I either read or heard from someone that if you don't feel like reading the Quran....take a break from it. It's better to read it with an attentive heart. When something begins to seem more like a chore...it can become easy to lose your motivation/attentiveness for it. It's admirable that you want someone who is religious. But there are some points to consider. You can have someone who reads the Quran every day.......but does not act upon its messages....who doesn't really learn from or internalize it. You can have someone who doesn't read the Quran every day, but is active in following some of the very basic principles of Islam such as interacting with others respectfully, being generous, being patient, etc. There are even maulvis who will pray 5 times a day...read Quran frequently...and then molest little children. So, think of the exceptions. There should be a balance of deen and duniya. Also, in a hadith it is said that if one makes religion difficult for himself....it will become difficult to follow.
2) This can depend upon what field the degree is in? Is it in something practical.....or impractical like humanities and philosophy? What is he doing with the degree? Is he hardworking or lazy? You can get a "foreign" degree and not do much with it.
4) Many people have this misconception (especially desis) that Istikhara will lead to a dream that you will see...which will give you some sort of sign as to what direction to go in. Not necessarily. In the Istikhara dua...you ask Allah that if He in His wisdom knows that something is good for you in this world and the next that he make it easy for you. And if He knows that something is not good for you in this world or the next.....that He turn it away from you. The underlined words don't imply seeing a dream. Rather, the events in your life will unfold in a way as to make the matter easy for you....or difficult/impossible for you. So, it's not like he also needs to do Istikhara in order to make things work. One person can also do it....and in the end what's meant to be will happen.
Re: My Rishta demands
Honestly from what I've seen and have personally felt about girls during these "rishta moments"..their long lists of demands suggest that theyre not ready for marriage. Zobia, are you afraid of settling down? I know this whole process can get a little uncomfortable but the best advice i can give you is to keep an open mind. It's great that you have high standards for yourself and only want guys from certain professions but you should be more welcoming to other great guys out there who may be a better match for you.
6 feet for height is really tall, no? lol how tall are you? sorry if you've mentioned it in the replies..I didn't get to read em all. Like I said before..don't be too particular and picky. I know its natural to have these demands but at the end of the day think about the guy you're marrying and what if you were to not meet any of his demands??!
Re: My Rishta demands
Redvalvet ..well said 
Dont be too choicey jst get any1 matchin ur personality if u demands more thn the othr party will goona ask for more more demands thn u hv…
Re: My Rishta demands
Zobia, I say stick with your demands, you don't have to lower your standards for anyone. You are lucky, since you said you are getting a lot of proposals, so then you can be picky.
Some girls don't get a lot of proposals from decent guys, despite being pretty educated , etc.. (I know of families in Houston). So alhamdulliah if you are getting lots of proposals then go ahead be picky.
Re: My Rishta demands
EDal ...u r married thts y u r saying stick to ur demands so tht se stayed home if se didnt get the demands fulfilled or the rgt person accordin to her frame. I gues ther shdnt b any compromise on relgion ... rest r jst material thingss ... if som1 is rich , ther aint any surity tht he wil remain rich forever vice versa ...
Re: My Rishta demands
EDal ...u r married thts y u r saying stick to ur demands so tht se stayed home if se didnt get the demands fulfilled or the rgt person accordin to her frame. I gues ther shdnt b any compromise on relgion ... rest r jst material thingss ... if som1 is rich , ther aint any surity tht he wil remain rich forever vice versa ...
No you are right, don't me wrong. I agree with what you said. I mean someone could lose their job, their business could collapse etc...you never know esp with the economy these days. So yes its true one should not marry only on those reasons. It would suck really bad if a spouse abandoned you for something like that. Husband and wife should be together through thick and thin. Through the good times and bad.
But I am just saying, if she is getting tons of proposals then she can be choosy, I guess.
Re: My Rishta demands
Tons of proposal , i guess se said it in general , ther r tons of girls waiting for the same thingss so if se really means thn se shdnt waste time bcoz shareef honest n pious guyz r rare in nature .
Re: My Rishta demands
Its nice to have a 'list of demands'...................but in the end thats all it really is, just a list..........it isn't going to matter much .....just pray that you get a good guy that will make you happy........
Re: My Rishta demands
Zobia, I say stick with your demands, you don't have to lower your standards for anyone. You are lucky, since you said you are getting a lot of proposals, so then you can be picky.
Some girls don't get a lot of proposals from decent guys, despite being pretty educated , etc.. (I know of families in Houston). So alhamdulliah if you are getting lots of proposals then go ahead be picky.
For the first time ever, i agree with EDAL :) your demands are legitimate, just be flexible with them, dont carve them in stone, if you think esp. if you get along with the guy in the meetings, hope you find your mr. right :)
Re: My Rishta demands
This demands business all sounds robotic to me.