They feed her masala wale stuff, shes 8month, and now she refuses to eat anything peeka, she wont eat food good for her, only meethi or masala waley food. im sick of them, they also think its ok to use steriod cream on he rface for her eczema. they used a cream called betnovate, i checked it online, and it says not to be used for under 2 yrs old…wtf, are these people jahil or wat. im so sick of them tampering with her, feeding her stuff bad for her, putting steriod creams on her face and saying kuch nahi hota i told my husband hes a litle meek ****. he will say aram say quietly, mum will njust say ohuu chup kar…and thats it. what shall i do, they are already moody with me, for various reasons, as usual. mood swings galore in this house. i have no idea how to hndle this situation, even saying something nicely, she gets bit uptight and wont talk. i dont know what to do. sick of them with not just their tampering but general crap. MIL said to hubby the other day `im worried about you and ur kids because im not responsible enough apparently…ok so she wants me awake at 7am making her breakfast, running around the house, and an all round slave to my husband…what made her say this? because she caught my husband making his OWN TEA…
so she went off on one and said ur wife has no idea of responsibility, she doesnt do her duties, etc etc etc etc
what on earth am i meant to do…she is a slave to her husband as is most of our mums..but hey times have changed…yet she nags whinges and then has mood swings the whole time if she can see her son doing his own stuff…and shes worried about my daughter? what? sorry should i be using some acid erosion on her as well to show my affection ..
I meant....do you do any chores? do you "look after" your husband?
As long as ur pulling ur weight with housework (whatever is left for the women of the house to do that the maid doesn't take care of) and your husband doesn't have a problem with making his own chai etc...just ignore all the other stuff, the mood swings and all, and concentrate on your daughter. If you don't think what they're doing is right, you have every right as the mother to have your voice heard. I know its easier said than done but you have to be strong and stand up for her...because she's only a baby and these are just minor things...when kids get older, the problems/interference will only get worse.
I find it sad that our standards and expectations from people are so low that just not beating someone and using foul language is considered a "good" thing.
Do you and ur husband not go away together for weekends or whatever without the MIL/extended family? Seems like you **really **need a break..
Your husband should explain to his mum in as nice a way as possible thanks but you are looking after him just fine, he is ok with making his own tea etc and she needn't kick up a fuss about it..
I find it sad that our standards and expectations from people are so low that just not beating someone and using foul language is considered a "good" thing.
With her saying that you don't look after your husband...do you think you appear mentality absent type? You know people who have this I'm bored, I don't have any work to do or I don't like what I'm doing expressions?
They say I give away such vibe so sometimes even if doing work, it looks like as if I'm not there or I so don't wanna be there. Well its not as bad as it used to be when I was a teen.
With her saying that you don't look after your husband...do you think you appear mentality absent type? You know people who have this I'm bored, I don't have any work to do or I don't like what I'm doing expressions?
They say I give away such vibe so sometimes even if doing work, it looks like as if I'm not there or I so don't wanna be there. Well its not as bad as it used to be when I was a teen.
She says it because she sees him at times ironing his own clothes, or making his own brekkie, or whatever. thats what she means. and he will warm up his own food at times...thats because he wont eat when we all eat, says hes not hungry, so 2 hours later hes warming up the food in the microwave and she sees all this. but so what? she thinks im some sort of chaalako...that im teaching him, im training him, and that im not a simple little bahu who says jee jee all the time.
The face cream stuff is bad but why do you let the other stuff get to you? If your husband has no problem warming up his own food or making his own tea just ignore her.
Nadz, you're sowing seeds which will make life very difficult for you later on. The husband can only listen to so much as a man, its a failing in men that way. Rock and a hard place, long enough, mom versus wife long enough, and something will eventually give. And let me tell you, more often than not, it will be in favor of the mom.
Nadz, there are many things our parents do which are beyond us, but we can't leave them and we dont. Perhaps you came from a very settled household mashallah and hence its difficult for you to bear this. But when we can put up with our parents' misdeamenours, then we can find the patience to put up with inlaws understanding that we are spending the remainder of our lives with them involved in the sphere of people we deal with till they pass away.
Look at the bigger picture, try to find a state of mind which helps you deal, because they wont change. At that age, its seldom that any adult can change.
For your own benefit, try to find the balance.
With an 8 month old and an another one on its way,you have to feel ok about your husband making himself a cup of tea or warming a plate of cooked food..!!
That being said,I have no idea of your household routine and how your day goes by...
I will suggest try to ignore what she says to others about you...and others have said it too,not to go to your husband with a complaint very too often.
I am no advocate for feeding kids sweet and masala foods at this age.BUT,it is a common thing in Pakistan.I started to introduce my 11 month old to whatever we were eating,and it was around that time she was already losing interest in purees and smooth textures.she always liked whatever we were eating.It made the transition to table food very easy and interesting. So maybe it can help you in some way.Although I hope you can cut down on her sugar intake.
Lastly,I am not sure about the extent of her eczema and what is the % of steroid in Betnovate,but my daughter has slight eczema and her pediatrician suggested I use steroid cream on her face when it flares up.I know someone who uses the same for her child,who is even younger.So it means it can be used...but since it is a steroid I am sure your concerns are valid about overuse..!!
