I will post it again. www.sakhi.org Let me know..I know some people there. Atleast forward it to her...there are many stories like hers...many more that are not investigated and scars women for life.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by suroor_ca02: *
i think she shud kill the uncle.. its pakistan.. she is never going to get caught.. and while she is at it kill lajjo and zain as well for their disgusting thoughts. i wonder what they'll do if it was their daughter or sister or wife? ask them to just shut up?
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though she doesn't have any proof regarding her issue, but i can have you arrested for saying this. it is a threat and i live in a country where justice IS surved :D
about our disgusting thoughts, well they are mere advices. i've said the same thing many other members have said here. take that guy to the court but on what bases? she doesn't have any proof.
talk to her family and elders and maybe other victoms will come forward.
about if it were my daughter or sisters, well i'll see how to handle it when i'll face such problem.
anyways, how will YOU handle it if you were sexually molested by one of your family members / relatives?
people often decided to follow more rational steps when they are in similar situations but tends to get emotional and stupid when they are advicing others, people like you.
kehtay hein josh se ziada hosh se kaam laina chahiaye.
fraudz and matty .. good going u 2.
LP: girl.. pls don't insult us ladies by supporting lajawab's moronic views. This has to come out in the open. She stays in the u.s. That makes a lot more easier. If she was back home.. I know some aunties and uncles would not have spared her( which doesn't mean she should keep shut or anything).. but such people are best ignored.
This makes me so angry. I cannot stop thinking about this now. This dog needs to be taught the lesson of his bloody lifetime.
**
Ladies and Gentlemen, I request you, please don’t get personal with each other.
mehrbani 
- Irem
**
irem if the moron in question visits pakistan, his "reception" could be arranged where after he get some "great hospitality" by some "hosts" they will tell him exactly what the reasons for his " khaatir madaraat" were.
but in all seriosuness..she should talk to a counselor first, her way of dealing with it could be very different than what we think it could or should be. Of the girls that I had mentioned the first one had chosen to confront the guy in front of everyone, yeah she got called stuff and yes it started a huge family rift..but no one trusted him next to theirkids from then onwards.
Fraudia ji i dont get it did you mean to address someone else and typed my name by mistake? 
Fraudiya you are wrong. Irem didn;t say that. Her idiotic comment was in the other thread about women getting beat up by her husband.
Tough luck, because there’s no proof, only words!
Thank you Matsui. I’ll forward it to her k.
oh sorry i meant to address it to chand beti as a possible suggestion
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Lajawab: *
Tell her to do nothing...The old American adage that "Talking about it will ease the problem" is a stupid solution and always aggravates the situation...
Tell her first of all, no one needs to know about it...This way she shields herself and the guy (Who looks like he repented) from further aggravating the solution and useless shame...What's done is done...
The future husband need never know about this...The past is histoty once two people get married, and it would straining the relationship if she confides her problems with her husband...The husband need never know...
If she can, she should talk to her uncle about what happened, and no one else...The uncle most probably, if he has truly repented, should ask for forgiveness...In this case he should be forgiven, we are all humans, and everyone makes mistakes for which they regret later...
Psychotherapy or psycholoigical evaluations always make matters worse, because a secret you can live with is now shared by two people, your psychiatrist and yourself making the guilt double...
As far as I see, she shouldn't even have told you...
Going by the modern notion of 'spilling the beans', we aggravate things much more...It hurts yourself and the person who has regretted more if we bring it out in the open...
But if the uncle has this sickness of abusing others as well on a regular basis, then someone older, very close and trustworthy, such as older uncle, or father or aunt should be approached as this sickness has taken hold of the uncle, and his sexual predatory sickness has taken hold and must be taken care of...Without loss of honor and respect to your friend...
[/QUOTE]
I really hope all of this is a joke. Please Lajawab tell me you really do not believe that.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by ZaiN_12345: *
where is the proof that she's been molested for years by this guy? a person who can't even defend her own accusations is nothing but a lier until otherwise proven right.
[/QUOTE]
Do any of such cases have a solid proof like a witness( molestors obviously prefer to do the **** when they are alone with the child)?? So u mean to say.. such molestations never occur? Or the children have a real good imagination and they cook up such whacky stories?
Here you are trying to turn the tables on the girl now by saying she cud be a lier?
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Chandbeti: *
Do any of such cases have a solid proof like a witness( molestors obviously prefer to do the **** when they are alone with the child)?? So u mean to say.. such molestations never occur? Or the children have a real good imagination and they cook up such whacky stories?
**
never said such cases don't happen. ofcourse they do. but what exactly can this girl do? even if she'll bring him out in the light, how will she defend her accusations? obviously i won't be the one facing all the questions and insults. its going to be her and that will do her no good. by all means, go and humiliate the guy. i was merely giving an advice and nothing more.
about children having wild imaginations, yes some do have and its not something out of ordionary.
**
Here you are trying to turn the tables on the girl now by saying she cud be a lier? Zain.. lajjo has atleast stopped replying, why don't u follow him like u have been doing all this while in the thread.
**
this is a BB. if my turning the tables is affecting you that much, how will it affect her when tables will turn on her. she might end up in a court for falsefully accusing the guy. without any proof, she can accuse him as much as she likes, doesn't mater if he was involved or no, he may drag her to the court. that will harm her more than him. but then this shouldn't stop her from exposing him. i'm sure she'll think of every aspect before going public with this information.
**
[/QUOTE]
I saw a documentary a while back. Two sisters in the US who were molested by her father (and later by their brother too). It started when they were little girls, 3 and 4 years of age. It went on for years and years and it wasn’t ‘just’ touching.
Twenty years later one of the sisters decided to make a documentary and visited all her namefellows in the US just to see who they were/how they lived etc. Turned out that almost all of them were in some way molested/harassed in their childhood. She was absolutely horrified and shocked and decided to continue the docu but now focus on herself. She visited her father after some 20 years and confronted him with the molesting (this was all secretly videotaped). The father denied everything, in fact he was all emotional and shocked how she could accuse him of that. sigh It was all soo heartbreaking 
She later had an emotional breakdown herself in front of the camera and was furious with herself cuz she didn’t say to him what she wanted to say. She also confronted her brother, after many years and he did admit it. His ‘defence’ : he was molested himself (ahaan, the father again) and kids that age don’t know what’s right and what’s wrong. SO he did what he thought was a normal thing to do.
SO I was wondering, what would be justice in these cases? All she wanted was an apology of some sort. What else is there to ‘ask’ for? No one can take away the pain/humiliation/suffering she (and with her every other victim) had to go through. Would locking him up be ‘justice’ ?
hoor bano, I think u r friend should be really carefull with whatever she decides to do.. I’m sure things will get pretty nasty if she decides to bring it out in the open. Most ppl wont believe her. Good luck to her
How can anyone ask for proof? Why on earth would a girl make this up?
Ukkkkhhhh, my blood was boiling after reading some of the IGNORANT replies in this thread.
SO sad **
*
hiccup, I understand that you are trying to make a point but when talking to other members, please avoid references to their family members.
Thank you,
Irem
*
These are the pious lots who shame people of not being muslims enough. The same people who go around bashing western thought and culture... I think you know them Hiccy!
i was only making a point. proof or no proof, i don’t case. if the accused asked for proof, it won’t be my headache. and about making up things, why on earth anyone make up anything? for personal gains, revenge, hatred, jealousy etc. motives are countless. however, the berdon of proof lies on this girl’s shoulders. however, i don’t think she wants to prove anything. all she wants is peace of mind and that guilt [surprisingly she is feeling guilty] to go away.
when you are in someone else shoes, you think more logically. but when you are only there to advice, you come up with loads of crap to justify almost anything that eould harm the person, without giving him/her any chance to defend. in the end truth will come out, sooner / later,
*Zain, I understand that you are trying to make a point but when talking to other members, please avoid references to their family members.
Thank you,
Irem
**
why should we be ashamed of ourselves? you should be ashamed of your so-called-civilized-self that a person comes here on a BB and accuse someone of molesting her that too with out any proof or evidence and here you all are, up with arms to slit his throat.
keeping this in mind, anyone can accuse anyone at anytime and he'll end up in a lot of trouble even without knowing why all this happened.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by ZaiN_12345: *
why should we be ashamed of ourselves? you should be ashamed of your so-called-civilized-self that a** person comes here on a BB and accuse someone of molesting her** that too with out any proof or evidence and here you all are, up with arms to slit his throat.
keeping this in mind, anyone can accuse anyone at anytime and he'll end up in a lot of trouble even without knowing why all this happened.
[/QUOTE]
errr ..I think Hoor bano is talking about her friend.. not herself. It wasn't her who went thru the horrible thing. It was her friend. Hoor just wants to help her friend.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by ZaiN_12345: *
why should we be ashamed of ourselves? you should be ashamed of your so-called-civilized-self that a person comes here on a BB and accuse someone of molesting her that too with out any proof or evidence and here you all are, up with arms to slit his throat.
keeping this in mind, anyone can accuse anyone at anytime and he'll end up in a lot of trouble even without knowing why all this happened.
[/QUOTE]
I refuse to be drawn into your petty thought, don't be so presumptuous, and do not put stupid idiot and ignorant words in my mouth, before you pass judgement on me and take things so personally as to hurt, think of the girl. In fact, start to think. I am happy for your family, I wouldn't wish that **** on anyone.