why are ppl talking abt the "password sharing," thats not the issue here. Some ppl think its OK to share and some dont. The real problem is what strawberry needs to do now.
i think u need to ask him abt the emails...u have knw him for 6 month (maybe longer) so u should be comfortable enough to talk to him abt this. you are going to iA spent your whole life with this guy so yes its important that you find out if he has been talking to other girls. Talk to him and let him explain everything to you.
Simple she should confront him and if the story does not satisfy her then She should keep her quest for that good guy she dreams of to spend her life with.
jeeeeeeeezzzzz u ppl are just crazy , THERE IS NOTHING WRONG IN HER KNOWING HIS PASSWORDDDDDD ???? wt kind of privacy does one need on a silly msn accountt. its nt the end of the world
just coz he is a guy everyone is saying he sent a few harmfull emails to girls and he needs his space
wt if strawberry has sent emails like dt and her fiance had found out ??
strawberry he is not a kid anymore and u already forgave him once . confront him and do not forgive him. finish it
ppl here try to be tooo openminded , but if there are issues of his comittment now god forbid what marriage with him will bring.
this whole u invaded his privacy is rubbbishhhhhh , u did not . he gave u his password as there were trust issues before .
Just curious how old is your fiance? He sounds pretty young.
Janwar, i usually agree with your posts and views but i would have to disagree here. Once you are in a relationship, you dont take time to adjust to it. It is assumed you agree to a rishta because you have thought about it. I was once engaged to someone for a year and a half, never asked for passwords (i am not that kind), never suspected anything at all whatsoever, and a week before our wedding he walked out on me without any reason. I found out he was into some other girl at school. Now waht wrong did i do there except waiting 1.5 years to marry him? In my opinion, for guys who look elsewhere when they already have someone, its hard for them to change themselves. No girl should have to suffer because of their "moun marnay ki adat".
**If I am at your place, I would never demand of any password, any pin-codes etc... Mannn for God sake give him space to breath, let he act what he is! and once you are tied into the relationship, build trust...
Like I had been engaged with him almost for an year, married with him for 2.5 months... even now when we have developed that much trust and confidence, I never ask, neither I would in next 50 years, because I trust him.. because i know if there are 100000000000 gorgeous girls in a party, he would appreciate the beauty, would never involve with them.. because he's mine
Maybe, maybe there are thousands of girls following him, even I know few of them.. yet I trust him...
Coming to your part, what to do NOW? ignore the thing, and dont give him any clue about that you've read his mails... he is kind enough to give you passowrd, isnt it enough!
**
Just curious how old is your fiance? He sounds pretty young.
Janwar, i usually agree with your posts and views but i would have to disagree here. Once you are in a relationship, you dont take time to adjust to it. It is assumed you agree to a rishta because you have thought about it. I was once engaged to someone for a year and a half, never asked for passwords (i am not that kind), never suspected anything at all whatsoever, and a week before our wedding he walked out on me without any reason. I found out he was into some other girl at school. Now waht wrong did i do there except waiting 1.5 years to marry him? In my opinion, for guys who look elsewhere when they already have someone, its hard for them to change themselves. No girl should have to suffer because of their "moun marnay ki adat".
Woah, thanks for usually agreeing with my posts - because I have this God gifted ability to piss people off, mostly unintentionally.
Yea that must have left a bad taste. In that case the guy certainly is to blame, he shouldnt have agreed to this relationship if he wasnt over the previous one. My point was, boys do this kind of crap - it was extreme in your case though. This is what differenciates boys from men. Boys (and girls) have these little meaningless flings, ideally they grow out of them once they are in a serious relationship. Exceptions are always there, people cheat on their partners. This is not just a guy thing, many women are twisted that way.
Another point that I wanted to make was, everybody has their personal space which should be respected. Be that the wife or the husband. Some people have this bad habit of poking their noses into their partners' personal stuff - email, diaries or whatever. If you dont trust the person enough, there is no point in getting into a serious relationship. Those who actually have to cheat on their partners, they mostly arent stupid enough to leave traces - esp emails.
though. This is wWoah, thanks for usually agreeing with my posts - because I have this God gifted ability to piss people off, mostly unintentionally.
Yea that must have left a bad taste. In that case the guy certainly is to blame, he shouldnt have agreed to this relationship if he wasnt over the previous one. My point was, boys do this kind of crap - it was extreme in your case hat differenciates boys from men.
I still disagree, i guess everyone has their own opinions. I really think once you are ina relationship, you do not go around looking elsewhere. It just doesnt make sense. And to clarify, my exfiance started a relationship AFTER our engagement, not before.
If i had to look over my shoulder and wonder if my husband was talking to other girls or not, i would be very miserable. Alhamdulillah i am glad i dont have to do that. You should be proud of being in a relationship and feel secure, not wonder all the time.
I am not big on password sharing (I know some of you have mentioned that isn't the real issue here but I feel like it's important to mention). I have no interest in other people's inboxes - when I say other people, I mean everyone except myself.
So, if I didn't trust my fiance then I won't be looking for confirmations of my suspicions in his inbox. Because a fishy/ untrustworthy fiance can also have a clean, empty inbox.
Someone else has already mentioned there are deeper issues here than just that e-mail. I agree.
You've lost your validity of a rational fiancee a little bit by harassing him for his password. Doesn't matter if you should have or shouldn't have asked him, the fact that you harassed him to get it, made you lose some points there. So now, you confronting him will need to be very very rational and thoughtful. How you speak to him about this is important if you want real answers.
The way your Mother has reacted is also telling me that she hasn't taken you very seriously either because of they way you've brought it up. So, number one, pull yourself and your thoughts together. Figure out what you want, what is lacking, what's bothering you, do you or do you not love this guy, do you or do you not want to marry him, etc. etc.
Once you know what you want, you can go about it from there. I feel like I'm repeating some of the things people have already mentioned so I'll stop here.
ok guys .. i really dont understand why its such a big issue sharing a pwd when i will be spending my life wit him. what can b in an e-mail that he wodnt want me to know? his bank acct number? what eles is so much more important? dat his fiance shudnt kno abt him? stuff like dis shud be shared so the other person knows everything abt their partner since this was anarranged and plus me nd him dont have same thinking cuz of culture difference. i want to erase that gapp nd get close to him by letting him in my life as much as i can .. by letting him know what kinda pple i hangout wit and stuff like this but at the same time i want him to share the same thing wit me but he fails to do dat. i understand he needs time but how much? i want him to feel like im one of his own nd want him to be comfortable wit me! but at the same time i want know same things abt him so afterr marriage ikno what he likes, what he doesnt so we dont have prblems like dat. the night he told me his pwd.. i felt so much closer to him..i really felt like i cud make this work nd really thought i wudnt find anything like dis cuz the way he sed to me "i have nothing to hide from u" ..
i havnt mentioned this before but i have been having a hard time connecting wit him but i knew it took time so i gave him time.. he was soo reserved in beggining dat it wud make me go crazy.. thought mayb he just needs to feel comfortable wit me so i startd sharing things nd gave him his space. sometime it felt like he wasnt really interested even tho he told me some stuff dat convinced me that he does really want to be wit me.
i dont kno what i want. like some1 aksed me before am i really happy? i cant really answer that myself. iduno if i have conviced myself to be happy so others dont give me the bull**** ohh i told u so. i cant think straight.. i dont even know how to go up to him nd talk to him. he called today nd i didnt have it in me ti pik up his call. i duno what i shud say to him. he shud know better not to do it! HES 25 ND SHOULD THAT ITS WRONG ND IT WILL HURT ME!
im scared asking him becuz i duno how to or what to ask!? im scared that he will tell me dat it was his frend on his acct who wrote it to his gf. how can i belive dis? shud i belive this story?
i really apperciate u guys taking the time to help me! i hope no grl have to face something like dis becuz its killing me inside!
it really seems like you two have very different expectations and your thought process is quite different. how long have you two been engaged for? What does he do there?
Quite a long time ago, similar thing happened to me.. and I got similar excuses (that it was his friend using the account) Watever.. i wasnt gonna take that crap
but thats besides the point. Every person is different.. he may be telling the truth
the problem here though is that you two are very different people, not to say that thats an issue. You can two very different people living a very happy married life.. but when your expectations dont match, where there is no proper trust.. it can get difficult
i dont think there is any issue with knowing one anothers passwords, I also dont think it is necessary to share passwords to build trust.. you should trust one another enough not to have to go through one anothers account, but you should also trust one another to share, so incase you need the other to do something, ur comfortable with it.
The guy is 25, does not understand committment (yet). I can prolly say that once he's married he prolly wont do that.. and he's only doing it now cus he aint married... the thing is, some girls can live with that.. some cant. And thats your decision.
Most of us appreciate a sincere person, someone whose going to give us all the time they have and more.. Some people dont quite get that and excuse this type of behaviour as a guy thing... shaadi kar ke sudhar jaaye ga... yeh well maybe he will. But do you want to live with that?
