ok guys this might be werid but i deperatly need help!! i have been reading this fourm for quite a while nd need some adivce from here of what to do now…
i have been engaged for 6 months now.. so on fri i decided to ask my fiance for his e-mail pwd nd he started making excuses how he wud tell me over the phone y he cant give it to me.. i got mad at him nd told him not to talk to me nd hes like ok let me kno when u wana talk! well this really hurt me nd made me cryy nd i started thinking why he wudnt give it to me.. i was soo sure he wudnt call me the next day cuz i wud ask again but the situation made him call me.. the next day was Valentine’s Day nd i sent him chocolates so he called to thank me. well i asked again nd he kept going on how he want to sort things out nd dan he’ll give it to me (hello do i look stupid.. i know u want to delet something).. i kept asking and finally gave up but it made me think alot so i textd him afterward saying how i cant go on wit my life he cant tell me this small things! well the next morning he called me ready to give me his pwd nd told me dat he never got a chance to change anything cuz his families were over (which i do believe).. well me being me i checked his acct nd didnt really find anything on the inbox but alot of sent mails that he wrote to grls..
this one mail really got to me and it sed " i miss u soo much and i cant wait to hear ur voice. i am always waiting for ur calls but u never have time to call. i didnt love you but i fell in love with u and i miss u so much. ur last e-mail made me cry and i cant wait for ur reply. plez come to me and rem that u r only mine" i read another e-mail of him sending to her nd he basically used another name instead of his.. this e-mail was sent reently so its liek him writing while being engaged to me!
what should i do after this? one side of me wants to belive that dats not him writing the e-mail but the other side of me is like if hes like this right .. after marriage he wud be doing this nd i wud never kno.. please HELP!
I persoanlly don't think he's cheating. OK he wasn't ready to give his password, but maybe he was telling the truth, i mean look, he gave it you in the end.
You mentioned that the sent mails to the girl didnt have his name on, but another name.
Either someone else is using his account to chat to her, or he's NOT serious. So i wouldn't really worry. But to get things straight, ask him once, calmly! After all he's your fiance, and you're gonna get married one day, inshallah. Ask him calmly as though u know in a way its not him whos sending these mails, coz guys get annoyed when girls become all 'shakki'.
umm wow- personally ---going through personal emails and getting passwords i think is invading ones privacy and i wouldnt do that- but as u already did and discovered all that baqwaas -- id be upset too- but mayb it was sumthing he wrote in his past?? did u check how long ago he wrote the messages?? and if its recent like during the time u guys are together- i suggest you confront him- and ask him what the hell its all about and if hes serious with you then go on with it- if not then why is he even with u- this is only engagement- not a nikkah so b careful- decide wat u guys wanna do right now because when ur nikahfied- it will b hard to walk out on this relationship-- so confront it- thats my best bet- Good luck and inshallah everything works out for u for the best :)
Don't put too much pressure on the guy!!!!!
As much as we like to think, getting engaged or being in love don't do magic over night. It does change ppl but It need time and effort.
Now the only question you got to ask your self is this dude worth you time and effort.
If you answer is yes, QUIT WHINING!!!!
First I think that there are a lot more problems here, then just the sent e-mails. I don't know, but demanding to know your fiance's password, makes me wonder if you were feeling insecure from the way beginning. Was there a reason why you asked for his e-mail password?
i think that you should talk to him about. We cannot tell you what his intentions were, nor will mulling over the question for days or years will provide you the answer. Just talk to him about it. If you can ask him for his e-mail password, then you should talk to him about what you found. If it's something that is of the years past then just let it go. But do talk to him, so that you can know if you really want to marry him or not.
as for the "i got mad at him nd told him not to talk to me nd hes like ok let me kno when u wana talk! "
ha ha. my brother does that to me all the time when I'm mad at him. Granted he;s my bro and not my fiance...I would just laff that one off and let that one go, and focus on the major issue here.
Is there a reason you were asking for his password? Im engaged but am not interested in knowing his password. Did you think something was up?
Also, my honest opinion is that he was probably fooling around on you the whole time. When you asked for his password, he did the obvious: went into his inbox and deleted all of his INCOMING emails. What he forgot is his sent email and thats where you caught him.
Now, what to do? If you're engaged, your families are involved. If this goes much further...then things might not work out between you two. A lot of people might put this one on your shoulders like you should do something about this. But what to do with someone who is still stuck on other women?
Talk to him about it openly and ask him what he wants. You can only control your actions...not his. Nothing you do will prevent him from cheating on you if he wants to...remember that always.
its nt d end of the world if she asked for his password , i think its normal . me n hubby knew each other passwords of all email account when we were engaged
its nt even a big deal , why would u nt share a simple password with the one ur goin to share ur life with
its nt invading his privacy , wt kind of rubbish is that
so he needs his privacy to talk to other women and we should give him space to fall in love with his fiance bt in the mean time he can do wotever he wants
the whole point of engagement is being comitted to the one ur gnna marry isnt it
i think u should confront him , and tell him from now that if he continues this u can break it off . trust me its better to be safe then sorry
marriage brings along many challenges in life , cheating is one that u dont need
it wudnt bother me as much if this was written a long time ago but he just sent that in JAN! nd from the sound of the e-mail it seemed like they talked on the phone before e-mailing!
what made me ask him? well in the begging of the realationship i found abt some orkut acct nd where he was talking to random grls .. like literally making the effort to talk to them. i asked him nd he sed he wunt do it again nd i let it go! well here than i wud check his account and saw it countinued nd he made some story that she went to his hs nd he decided to cancel the account so we wont have any problems. i let it go again..
recently his status were like old love songs nd made me kinda courious.. i want to get close to him nd thought sharing something liek dis wud get us closerr..
nd i kno if talk to him abt this he will make some new storyy nd my heart will melt like always!!!!
You don't really need to know each others passwords. But if you have some other reason to be suspicious then you should definitely try to find our what's going on. Now that you have seen a questionable email, either be content that it was an old fling and it's over...or ask him about it.
You do not have right to access his personal email account.
Now since you found out that he is playing around and has many girls in his life so move on find that nice boy you are craving for. But make sure you do not ask password to anybody s email or Internet accounts. There are lots of guys who want to be loyal to just one girl so keep looking for that perfect guy you will surely find one.
You do not have right to access his personal email account.
Now since you found out that he is playing around and has many girls in his life so move on find that nice boy you are craving for. But make sure you do not ask password to anybody s email or Internet accounts. There are lots of guys who want to be loyal to just one girl so keep looking for that perfect guy you will surely find one.
i feel like i do have the right to his pwd!!
i will be spending rest of my life with this guy nd wud b clueless of what hes been doing! i think internet is one of the many ways pple cheatt nd its important for me to know it.
Trying to fool yourself into thinking that its not him who wrote the emails is denial....and that will get u nowhere. In fact, you'll end up hurting yourself. You saw for yourself that the emails are recent. They are recent, right??? And you mentioned that the emails took place during the time of your engagement, right? And you KNOW that it is his email account, not someone else's. And you know that he is behaving in fishy way with changing his name.
^ From the above description, I think it's pretty clear what u should do. A fiance is someone whom u intend to marry and spend the rest of your life with. This is someone whom you should be able to discuss any issue with. And this is an IMPORTANT ISSUE and it needs to discussed with him soon. You need to point out those emails to him. You HAVE TO bring his attention to those emails and ask him to explain the meaning of those emails to you....especially when they have been sent during your engagement period.
Strawberry, hear him out. Listen to what he has to say. And trust your intuition. If it seems that his response is pointless, senseless, invalid........then please CANCEL the rishta/engagment/wedding all together. Infidelity is no minor issue. If it is obvious that your fiance is guilty, please move on with your life.....becasue you will find someone better. No guy is worth compromising your health and sanity over.
But in order to find out his explanation..........**you have to TALK to him!
And in your situation.......it **seems (not 100% sure yet) that you've caught him fooling around on you. Did you have doubts about this before hand? Is that why you wanted to see his password? In this situation, maybe your suspicions were not unfounded. BUT in future, you have to trust people a bit more. Not everyone who wishes to keep their password to themselves is cheating. I'm not doing anything wrong in my email accounts.....but I consider emails to my closest female friends private......and I like my privacy......doesn't necessarily mean that I'm up to no good. I just may not feel comfortable with the idea of someone poring over my emails and reading my every single thought no matter how benign it might be. Also, keep in mind that trust issues and insecurity can turn the other person off and and away from you.
But as I said....in your case, your suspicions might not be unfounded. In other words, the could be valid. But TALK to him first.
Just because he's not giving you his password doesnt mean he's cheating oin you. Come on. My fiance never gave me his password..we were engaged for almost 2 years. I never pushed him to give it to me. You don't need his password. He doesn't need your password. If you are the kind of person who's okay with giving your password away...doesn't mean everyone is. And, really, it doesnt mean anything. Don't ask him too much..it's really invasion of privacy..i'v been married almost a a year now and I still don't know it and I don't care...please dont push the guy too much..i am sure it's annoying to him too that you are getting mad and upset about it to the extend where you are crying. Save the crying for more serious issues. BUT, if you have any other reason to thin he's cheating on you..that's another story.
i feel like i do have the right to his pwd!!
i will be spending rest of my life with this guy nd wud b clueless of what hes been doing! i think internet is one of the many ways pple cheatt nd its important for me to know it.
Then look for someone who is comfortable to share his passwords with you , and shares your point of view that you have the right to his pwd and who does not have infidelity in the relationship. Obviously this guy is not the kind of guy you are looking for. He is shopping around and you were one of those he was checking out.
whats up with girls wanting to go through personal emails these days and demanding it as a right! jeeez! trust is earned, its not a right. if you have suspicions from the get go and you have to demand trust as a right, then there is something very very wrong here.
You've already gotten his password and read 'sent' messages.....what more are you waiting for? DON'T marry him unless you resolve this. Someone obviously sent those messages...why do you think it wasn't him? Are you in denial...afraid or embarrasssed that your fiance is cheating on you? You deserve better and god willing, you will find him. Don't let the truth stare you in the face and just ignore it. Face the reality, don't over think the situation, e-mails were sent from his acocunt, you read them, the writer is clearly interested in another girl...if he is the writer then he needs to be dumped. And I am sorry but this is going to save you from bigger problems in the future. I'd rather break an engagement than get a divorce!
"I'll give you my password tomorrow..." What BS is that? Why not today...now...he shouldn't have anything to hide.