I have read this thread and since there are so many people already giving you good advice, I thought that I wouldn´t want to add something that there is already there.
But one line in particular got to me
it scares to think abt my life afterward. will it be the same? i have this daag now that i have engaged once. what if the next guy wrost than him? i have to look at so many things. atlest he wudnt hit me? he never raised his voice to yell? doesnt stop me from doing anythin.
What is there to think? Everyone moves on after a while, it takes time to accept the situation and deal with it. And nothing stays the same... ever.
And what is this thing about ´daag´? What daag are you talking about? It is, unfortunately, very common in our culture that we women are ashamed if we are mistreated by our husband and try to blame ourselve for it. But for god´s sake everybody knows it is wrong to blame yourself for something that you do not have in your own hand. And believe me, if you start feeling this way and think you have this ´daag´then def there are people out there who are going to make you feel even worse.
And what if the next one is even worse? What a strange way to put it.... Once a very close friend of my said: Kabhi bhi kisi ghalat cheez ko accept nehi kartey, is umeed me ke woh kal sahi ho jaaye gi. Joh aaj khraab he us ka kal theek hone ki kiu umeed rakhtey ho?
And why are you justifying the relationship with your fiance in terms of ´he never yelled at me´? Is the definition of a good relationship that he never yells at you or stop you from doing anything? Then in my opinion you are already in a bad relationship since you are stopping him from doing things ( like talking to other girls, romancing them). Does that make you a bad partner?
And as far as parents are concerned, I understand that they are focused on the badnami that will follow. But there is more badnami if you marry the guy and then decide to divorce him. And putting your future on stake, because of younger siblings is also very wrong. Think: tumhaari zindagi itni faltoo he ke tum bhaley khush na ho, magar baaki sab khush honey chahiye?
I have seen so many parents making this mistake, eventually they learn the hard way. Try to avoid that. If there is no future in something, eventually everyone understands it.
It hurts for now, but a few years from now, you won´t be even bothered.
Good luck!
< and might just come knockin anytime soon