Re: My experience with a divorced lady.
You can say the same about a divorced woman too! All i say is marry someone with good character...it doesnt matter about whether they are virgins or they are divorced....
its true but in our society since man has the licence to divorce they mostly use it to their advantage.
Re: My experience with a divorced lady.
Anybody else find it a bit o humor (just a tad) when one creates a thread hoping to guide, garner sympathy, and be lauded for playing the martyr…and only gets tamaatar hurled their way? The irony slightly tickle anyone? Anyone? …No? …Just me? ( I feel mean today) :hinna:
Apologies for causing any offense..
Re: My experience with a divorced lady.
^Lol. This is an entertaining thread.
Re: My experience with a divorced lady.
Well, thats cuz the poster did the basic flaw of hovering around “divorce” or “virginity”… that’s a wrong approach and his biggest mistake and then I guess everyone knows our feminist guppans are strong enough not only to corner him but also to give him all sorts of patkhanyan, qenchyan maring and flying kicks lagayeeng..
and now we know wuts wrong here so stop mazey laying and give a way out. 
Re: My experience with a divorced lady.
Sorry, but no sympathy from me on this topic! How is it acceptable for a man to have his fun, do whatever he wants, sleep around, but whe it comes to marriage, demand for a VIRGIN???? What about the feelings of that virgin? does she deserve to have someone like you in her life, after everything you have been up to? Is it fair?
I am just curious to see what sort of reaction this scenario would have evoked, had it been a woman, saying that there are too many temptations and she usually gives in, but then when it comes to marriage, she only wants a pure man, some one who only has the eyes and hearts for her?
You have been brought up in west, but you sound more backward than most of the mangoes!!
Re: My experience with a divorced lady.
^Tis a shame that common sense and refutation of ideas and double standards that ALSO go against Islam’s teachings…are considered “feminist.” 
Give a way out? You’re talking as if he is …phas gaya somewhere. He already got a way out. He married a 19 year old girl…and realized that her virginity is what made things so much better. Hey, I’m glad things worked out for him in the end…and especially the second time around. I and other Guppans agreed with ideas from the OP’s post that were reasonable. So, that suggests that we weren’t entirely “feminist”. Nothing wrong with analyzing a situation and bringing up “exceptions” that the OP didn’t take into account. Some of the responses here that “totally agreed” with the OP’s post and did not factor in the exceptions to his generalizations surprised me.
Re: My experience with a divorced lady.
^But there is NOTHING wrong with feminism (in general)!!!
Except for when that one tiny group from the 70s says that all heterosexual sex is rape. But that's a tiny group.
Also those who think that all men must be hated.
Most feminism is common sense. It is like hating all muslims because extremists exist.
(Not directed entirely at you, redvelvet. Femisim is such a taboo on these forums and that's not right.)
Re: My experience with a divorced lady.
I was responding to Sid’s post…and his idea that the Guppans are “feminist” because they challenged the weak generalizations of the OP…when the refutations reflected common sense.
Re: My experience with a divorced lady.
GS should investigate who was this user who threw a bombshell into a room full of angry ladies and ran away :D
He must be brought back to face the music.
Re: My experience with a divorced lady.
seconded
^Lol. This is an entertaining thread.
Re: My experience with a divorced lady.
Kind of off-topic but I had to say this...... I know a girl who got married, got divorced and she's still a virgin. Her husband was a control freak and having an affair with some other woman, the poor girl was just treated as a naukrani in his house, aisay bhi log hotay hain.
Re: My experience with a divorced lady.
The main problem in marriages that lead to divorce is not that people don't understand their spouses, rather it is their inability in questioning themselves as being a potential cause of the conflict.
If a woman is fierce then the challenge is to charm her, if a woman is subdued then the challenge is to empower her. The challenge of the man is to compromise.
It is quite possible that a woman can be demanding but does it mean the only choice is that the man gets rid of her or beats her down or gives in to her demands? Of course not, he should consider her demands and come to a sensible arrangement and softern her and get something back in return. It's business!
Re: My experience with a divorced lady.
Dont put your topon ka rukh at me..
About that common sense thingy, everybody knows how many women would have responded, had a similar thread would be from any other woman.. 
Re: My experience with a divorced lady.
This is a very interesting post, very definitely a different perspective on this type of situation. Thanks for sharing. I hope you are able to find a nicer woman to marry, we have a few here on GS and they're all hot.
aahmed, cute profile pic, you should model
Re: My experience with a divorced lady.
The main problem in marriages that lead to divorce is not that people don't understand their spouses, rather it is their inability in questioning themselves as being a potential cause of the conflict.
If a woman is fierce then the challenge is to charm her, if a woman is subdued then the challenge is to empower her. The challenge of the man is to compromise.
It is quite possible that a woman can be demanding but does it mean the only choice is that the man gets rid of her or beats her down or gives in to her demands? Of course not, he should consider her demands and come to a sensible arrangement and softern her and get something back in return. It's business!
Psyah bhai, you really shouldn't be in Life1. You make too much sense.
Re: My experience with a divorced lady.
I'm surprised at all focus on "divorced" and "virgin" women!
Just b/c a woman has never been married, that doesn't mean she's a virgin (especially these days!). A woman who has "been around" is not stupid. If her family is conservative and she is presented with a potential rishta that actually asks her if she is a virgin, does anyone here honestly believe that she'll admit to not being a virgin?!
Heck the OP has no "proof" that his 19-year-old naive shy bride has never been physical with a man. He may assume that b/c she seems inexperienced but in reality, how difficult would it be for a woman to PRETEND to be inexperienced? He may have even asked her and she may have said that she's a virgin....but once again, no actual proof.
And just b/c a woman is not a virgin, that doesn't mean she did it on purpose....she could've been raped or even sexually abused as a child.
saying all this from your own personal dating experience?
Re: My experience with a divorced lady.
saying all this from your own personal dating experience?
Nope, I don't date girls. Those specific comments were made based on my experience with girls I've personally come across in the last 10 years or so....and also from stories I've heard from my closes female friends about other girls they know, their cousins "back home" etc.
The only thing mentioned in that post that you could say some from my personal experience is the rape/abused part. I used to volunteer at a local women's shelter and saw plenty of unmarried girls that were raped/sexually abused there. In addition, my SO being a physician, I hear plenty of stories from him about women (and yes, single DESI women too) who he has treated in the hospital after being raped/beaten/abused. My SO has also treated YOUNG desi girls (ie. under the age of 14) who have been raped/abused.
Re: My experience with a divorced lady.
If only half the women in this thread actually lived up to the comments they made.
Re: My experience with a divorced lady.
If only half the women in this thread actually lived up to the comments they made.
'Splain please...
Re: My experience with a divorced lady.
