Re: My dads secret other marriage and years of fighting with it
Irrelevant to the issue in thread. As usual you have such low intellect, you can’t bring a single decent argument. Why don’t you just keep copy pasting same in each thread.
If you happens to be in another place you would drown urself.
Re: My dads secret other marriage and years of fighting with it
I know your argument that a cheating deceptive man should not be remorseful, ashamed or apologetic to the wife and children because Bill Clinton was with Monica Lewinsky is super compelling..lol…Dude, It is not about would be drowning, it is that you actually are drowning.
Re: My dads secret other marriage and years of fighting with it
I can’t understand what you and iconoclast are arguing over.
@Bobby1 If one follows the Islamic principles taking on another wife or two is not cheating and nothing to be ashamed of. You can make your own rules and call polygamy obselete but that means nothing because far from being a religious scholar you seem ignorant even about the basic laws. If your modus ope***** is making your own set of rules for life and then trying to shame other people for not following those then that’s not going to work. Jessica,Monica,Mrs.Shah, random hot blonde, divorced chick making millions and other characters which form the core of your arguments mean nothing to any of us. You can derive your life principles from them but don’t expect the rest of us to follow.
Re: My dads secret other marriage and years of fighting with it
Polygamy was for a certain time same as having sex with war captives. Misunderstood religious beliefs cannot supercede human rights. Prophet did disallow Hadrat Ali from having a second wife so there is also examples in Sunnah against second wives. When men and women are born in same ratios then why can someone have multiple. So 12 kebabs, 12 guests..each take one but then 3 say we will take 4 each then 9 have no kebab. Do you like math?
Re: My dads secret other marriage and years of fighting with it
What a ridiculous argument! You think you are more qualified then all the religious scholars of the world combined to issue statements like these disregarding Islamic principles???
As far as the example of Hazrat Fatima (as) are concerned (and also Hazrat Khadija as) bring women equal in stature to these near perfect women in history before you bring this up as an example.
The last thing you stated..It made me laugh so hard..All I am going to say is one needs to rise above the level of a 2nd grader to discuss issues like polygamy which has far more confounding variables than kids fighting over apples.
Re: My dads secret other marriage and years of fighting with it
This is the problem with people whose heads are buried deep into the religion fandom. Before this thread got derailed it was about OP’s dysfunctional family where her dad ““married”” his side ho in what began as an affair. Already these people came out of the woodworks showing that they didn’t read her post talking about “But in ISLAM an man can have up to 4 wives!! Stop overreacting!! It is his right!!!”
Let’s be real here, every archaic practice that was fitting for the 6th and 7th century AD and before is not always practical and/or morally right. The Quran was written in a certain time in a certain place with **** that does not necessarily need to be duplicated in modern day, but trying to explain that to the moral Mullah brigade is like talking to a wall.
Some people need to stop drinking the religous kool-aid and think critically.
Re: My dads secret other marriage and years of fighting with it
What’s the point of arguing about the legitimacy of the second marriage?
Why not focus on the facts everyone can agree on?
The other woman is the mother of his kids. This makes it very difficult to get rid of the other woman (assuming that’s something the dad wants to do).
We can argue about polygamy being right or wrong all day without reaching consensus at the end of it all. However, we can all agree that a man ought to provide for his kids. The well being of (all) his kids should be his top most priority.
As far as polygamy goes, I’d support OP’s mom if she decided to divorce the dad for cheating on her. However, she chose to stay. Not much anyone can do about that. Something like this could happen here in the west as well. You can divorce your spouse as a consequence of being cheated on but you can’t force him not to cheat on you.
Re: My dads secret other marriage and years of fighting with it
I am a true believer of fidelity and being loyal to the relationship.
Re: My dads secret other marriage and years of fighting with it
I completely agree. :k:
Re: My dads secret other marriage and years of fighting with it
I have a feeling that me and you can get along young missy.
Re: My dads secret other marriage and years of fighting with it
Ofcourse not to a good for nothing low life, compulsive liar, who changes personalities to lay weight to his posts.
A persons duty to his kid is different than other aspects of his life.
Recap for your pea brain again, the point was there is no penalty in West for relations or number of sexual partners, like you claimed. French First Lady had an affair, and married a different person. That’s her life.
Re: My dads secret other marriage and years of fighting with it
The only ho here is you.
Re: My dads secret other marriage and years of fighting with it
So you eat donkey meat Korma and Kutta Karahii and your water is mixed with sewer and you say you have a big brain lol…Like I say cussing and abusing makes you typical not atypical..I see guys paying the price of indiscretions every day, losing the house, kids, having to pay alimony, to some it seems like a penalty. So when Tiger Woods got beaten with a golf club and paid hundreds of millions in settlement seemed like a consequence. French first lady had to chose bw the men, she couldnt be married to both at the same time. For women haters men can screw around and women should be honor killed for marrying a man they love…lol..I know the budboo has damaged lil misogynists brain..lol
Re: My dads secret other marriage and years of fighting with it
What a profound response
Re: My dads secret other marriage and years of fighting with it
I agree that it’s definitely allowed, but only with the conditions being met (housing being provided, time being shared equally etc)..
OP, I hope you’re ok.. It would break my heart if my dad did this to my mum.. Try and stay strong..
Re: My dads secret other marriage and years of fighting with it
Regardless of the issue at hand, why are people telling her she needs to act normal with her dad’s other family (again, it would be great if she could but since she can’t, that shouldn’t be seen as a crime) and also that she should NOT feel her mom’s pain? I wonder how some people are actually able to disengage themselves when their mothers are going through something as huge as this?
Re: My dads secret other marriage and years of fighting with it
Wow. Lol. Wtf.
To all those who genuinely made comments for me thanks so much. I originally posted this because I felt like such a burden was on my shoulders. And from my heart getting it all out there made me feel so much better. And thanks to all who inboxed me too! Alhamdulliah. As an update, i feel better, me and dad are cool, I appreciate the comments I don’t have to do anything I don’t want to (cos I really actually don’t) and yes I do sympathise with my mum…cos she’s my mum. Duh.
To @xoas @ICONoclaust and whoever else was on that team - seriously? SERIOUSLY??? One of you even started attacking my comments on another thread! How pathetic! If you really feel women have 0 say in their men having other wife’s, and it is all up to the man blah blah blah then I really feel sorry for you. Your backwards mindset is what keeps us Pakistani’s 10 steps behind everyone else. There are such strict rulings in Islam and the topic of four wives - it is isn’t la de da as simple as you think. And god forbid you do what my dad did (albeit a mistake) to your wife of kids - but for people like yourselves that’s the way you will understand. Y’all need to open your MINDS. This bigot, selfish and ugly nature of cussing people out on threads is gonna get you no where real fast.
And you guys need to actually READ the WHOLE original message and understand the story before you comment.
Other than this drastic L, I feel so much better!!! Thanks everyone :0)
Re: My dads secret other marriage and years of fighting with it
10 steps??lol… I wish Pakistan went 1400 years behind. That’s when minds were truly opened about rights of women.
And as long as we are on the mind opening thing and women having say in the man’s life …The day I made up my mind that I was never going back to my husband again,I called him and asked him to not hesistate in taking on a second wife if he wanted to, since I might or might not proceed with divorce but would certainly never go back to living with him. I wished him the best and told him he would find happiness with someone else…and I wished him all of this from the heart.
I wish people could learn to forgive others and in doing so free their minds of negative emotions.
Re: My dads secret other marriage and years of fighting with it
^You were walking away though..
OP has to somehow live with this situation..
Agree with Sajalina..
Re: My dads secret other marriage and years of fighting with it
You don’t need permission in Islam but the marriage is not allowed to be a secret..