Re: My dads secret other marriage and years of fighting with it
We don’t know if she committed zina nor do I have any wish to know. You are clueless when it comes to religious rulings so I am not going to even try and explain it to you why stoning isn’t applicable even if they did it in this instance.
Re: My dads secret other marriage and years of fighting with it
You are leaving out a little part where it says you need 4 witnesses before you take this step which is nearly impossible to do.
Re: My dads secret other marriage and years of fighting with it
Quran is not written in an alien language, I posted the verse above. OP posted about the affair and I find her credible.
Re: My dads secret other marriage and years of fighting with it
This thread may be getting a little derailed.
OP, I’m sending prayers and good thoughts your way. Hoping you come out stronger than ever and find peace with the situation. Your family has worked through it. I know you will continue to do so as well. All things come together eventually and you may not see it now but if you have positive thoughts and intentions and continue to work on yourself things will work out for the best. Good luck.
Re: My dads secret other marriage and years of fighting with it
Zina is not a western concept. So the OP’s dad did not go to the woman’s parents and ask for her hand in marriage because his current wife could not procreate or he was dissatisfied with her. He chose to step out of his marriage and commit a sin. That is why the OP is so upset. His transgressions have caused her mother a lot of pain and by default her and her siblings pain as well. Women are human and can’t hide their emotions forever…at some point in time - if your husband cheats - that pain will seep through and affect your family life.
I understand men like the tout the idea of multiple marriages and Islam gives them the right to do so. No doubt. But with power comes responsibility. You are also commanded to treat your (current) wife with kindness and respect. You cannot hurt her. You cannot mistreat her. And nowhere in Islam does Allah specify that a new wife needs to coddled or taken care of by the first wife or her children. That is solely the husband’s burden.
Re: My dads secret other marriage and years of fighting with it
Yeah so Zina is not Zina if you don’t invite spectators, one can go on a raping spree and never be convicted if he does it quietly, women are only half witted so hey who will take the testimony of a half witted victim…yup I left it out for a reason as they have incidences of flogging and stoning rape victims. We cant take things literally, 4 witnesses only means a requirement of undeniable proof. DNA testing is undeniable. Tell me how many rapes are committed in front of four male witnesses?
Re: My dads secret other marriage and years of fighting with it
No one is asking for the second wife and her kids to be coddled. However, I think its unfair to his other kids that their mom has no interaction with their dad’s extended family. It’s like their mom does not exist. The OPs step-siblings are constantly reminded they are second class kids.
We don’t know what kinda promises OP’s dad made to his second wife. We don’t know what lines he fed her. Men come up with all sorts of stories when they wanna get into a woman’s pants. “I’m not really happy with x”. “I’ll be divorcing her soon”. The 2nd wife should have stayed away from the OP’s dad for her own sake. Or at least not have had kids with him. However, that’s all done now. And the man has two kids from her who are just as much his as his older kids.
Re: My dads secret other marriage and years of fighting with it
Yes, that is all true. But she accepted this fate by being a second wife.
Plus, his second wife is only the father’s responsibility. Its HIS job to do right by her. Not the OP’s.
Re: My dads secret other marriage and years of fighting with it
True. But the OP shouldn’t be throwing a fit if her paternal cousins visit the step sister’s place
Re: My dads secret other marriage and years of fighting with it
More like half sister lol
Re: My dads secret other marriage and years of fighting with it
No one knows if they did Zina.Accusing them of major sin is a great sin in itself so I would ask people to not comment on this.
You would agree that fertility is no guarantee for a happy marriage,if the OP’s father had any dissatisfactions with the first marriage he and his wife alone know about it.
And just the concept of taking on a second wife is not cheating… If it is then RasulAllah(saw) were cheaters and so were almost all of the Sahaba nauzobillah.
The second wife and her kids deserve the same respect and kindness that you speak of in your post. I don’t see the OP mention anywhere that his father didn’t take care of his first wife and kids. If there was some injustice done it was with the second wife’s kids who have been at the receiving end of it all their lives.
I am not asking the OP or her mum to coddle the other family. I just adviced her to try and open her heart a bit and stop hating them for the sake of HER OWN well being and mental peace. Harbouring negative emotions never did anyone any good but I guess she doesn’t have the emotional strength and maturity for it yet.
Re: My dads secret other marriage and years of fighting with it
You actually need permission from your first wife in order to have a 2nd wife, according to Islam.
Re: My dads secret other marriage and years of fighting with it
So much misinformation…
@Bobby1 uncle, why can you not stay on topic, the 4 witness is for if people accuse woman of being an adulteress. Accusing someone of committing zina without proof is actually a sin in itself, doesn’t matter “who” you believe. Idk why you brought in the sexual assault part because for that a woman does not need witnesses to present her case, speaking strictly in Islamic court.
Actually that is just part of law in Pakistan.
Okie I is out of here.
Re: My dads secret other marriage and years of fighting with it
Taking permission from the first wife is not a prerequisite for second marriage unless explicitly stipulated in marriage contract at the time of first marriage.
Re: My dads secret other marriage and years of fighting with it
True. Just googled it and found that I was wrong. Learn something new everyday.
Re: My dads secret other marriage and years of fighting with it
If you go with the literal meaning then rape victims who complain about rape are punished for Zina as they can not produce 4 male witnesses. How did I not stay on topic?
Re: My dads secret other marriage and years of fighting with it
There are many things that were allowed before and now aren’t like raping war captives having slaves etc. There was a reason for that before which is no longer valid, in the same way polygamy has no place in civilised society anymore, robbing a man from his family is repugnant.
Re: My dads secret other marriage and years of fighting with it
OP is just a thankless pile of protoplasm.
If first wife did not like it, should could leave. She has chosen to stay so she shouldn’t complain. Instead she is busy making kids be part of the war.
Re: My dads secret other marriage and years of fighting with it
And western concept, who the f’mm are we trying to play. In western society a person can go screw the neighbour, the postman, the grocery clerk, and it’s his or her business. If the partner does not take like it he/she puts up or takes a divorce.
Re: My dads secret other marriage and years of fighting with it
You can ask for a divorce and you ask for the cheaters property and alimony and child support payments and the children of cheaters spit on the cheaters face and don’t subscribe to this bs that an adulterer and a cheat and a liar is still deserving of respect because he is a father. Polygamy is a crime in our society.