Re: Mutah [temporary marriage] -- Social and cultural perspective
MY TEN CENTS WORTH !
Seriously--------I dont think that GS is the forum where we should, at all, discuss such sensitive subject.
My most humble request to the moderator..is to immediately close this thread....PLEASE!
I am keenly waiting for a positive response.....
-Raju Jamil
Re: Mutah [temporary marriage] -- Social and cultural perspective
[QUOTE]
I hope you realize that muta'a is less of a picnic for women than for men. Its an open door to an unstable life for a woman, which I'm pretty sure, God tried to protect us against in the first place, as is clear by CLEAR AS DAY Quranic verses.
[/QUOTE]
This summarizes the thread
there is no more need to further discuss it.
Re: Mutah [temporary marriage] -- Social and cultural perspective
u dont even need to look into history/literature....
just read the meaning of the arabic word "mut'aa" and u will know what its all about....
for those who do not have access to an arabic dictionary, i'll make ur work similar....
the word translates to "entertainment"....
Re: Mutah [temporary marriage] – Social and cultural perspective
Dear Sir,
Please elaborate why do you think that we should not discuss this sensitive subject here in this forum ?
I believe we have discussed many taboo subjects here in this forum in past, in a mature way and tried to understand each other’s point of view. Wihtout discussing an issue (related to our society) and sharing our thoughts and reasoning we can not bring any change.
Many people consider these arrangements as perfectly legit and religiously sanctioned. They are sensible and intelligent people and we can share our perspecitve and can reach to some sort of concensus through dialogues.
If you think some post(s) (including mine) is bellow the level of decency and maturity then please point out. I will try to rectify it.
Thankyou for your valueable feedback 
Re: Mutah [temporary marriage] in the time of Amir ul Momineen Ali ibn Abi Talib
Hmmm. Interesting arguments :k:
You have provided alternate sollution (bold text of your post) to streamline the behavioral inconsistensies of our social outlook… Which means that you acknowledge their existance in our society and culture 
I give you an example. In irrigation system, ( particularly here in pakistan ) There are two types of canals :
The first type is used all year around during different times according to the need of farmers. They second one is opened only when there is flood in rivers.
The first is ‘normal’ and ‘desired’ outlet of water and if should be used in normal circumstances. But the second is for extreme cases. Just to save the entire populations of towns and villages.
Now your sollutions are viable but unlikely that anyone would pay any heeds to them. Not even the youngsters themselves.
Honestly tell me how many of your peers would respond positively to the idea fo nuptual ( marraige ) during studies ? how many cases you have seen where guy and girls got married in early 20s on their own ? Do you think that marraige in this early age is a good idea while living in west ? Are these young folk mentally and emotionally ready to handle the complexities of long term relationship ?
.
Re: Mutah [temporary marriage] in the time of Amir ul Momineen Ali ibn Abi Talib
Women on that website, www.mutah.com, have written quite a different perspective on Mutah than you do, one of them who is a convert.
Also Mutah marriages do not have to be consummated, they can be used for the couple to get to know one another.
I had many college friends who were Sunni, religous as well, yet still dated. Now I don’t know if they had sexual relations when they were dating, we had conflicting reports on those; guys said yes we had sex all the time, while the girls said no I’m still a virgin, etc. The point is that they were engaged in unlawful activities by the basis of Islam.
Why didn’t they just do Mut’ah and made their relationship halaal? I posed them this question, and they said Mutah was haraam. But isn’t what they are doing haraam in any case? They call themselves Muslims, both the guy and the girl, yet they still engage in haraam activities.
PCG asked about our women, such as our daughters being given to mutah marriage.
If I do have a daughter, I’d prefer her to have a non-sexual mutah marriage, than a dating relationship where there is more a chance of her engaging in haram activities.
Re: Mutah [temporary marriage] in the time of Amir ul Momineen Ali ibn Abi Talib
If I do have a daughter, I'd prefer her to have a non-sexual mutah marriage, than a dating relationship where there is more a chance of her engaging in haram activities.
I am not married and offcourse i dun have a daughter yet ... But Hope ALLAH will bless me with one someday ....
So my dua is May ALLAH keep us all from time when our daughters get into those activities .... Its a good example but i find it ofended to yourselve. i think its a bitter truth coz the girls who do this are someone's daughters. Who knows whats going to happen but May ALLAH guide us, our mothers sister and daughters if we go on a wrong path !
Wasalam
Aqeel
Re: Mutah [temporary marriage] in the time of Amir ul Momineen Ali ibn Abi Talib
I have to disagree with you here…
IF one believes that muta’h nikkah is prohibited in an Islamic prespective, then I feel there is NO need discussing it and trying to establish how well it fits in our times or not. IF one believes that Allah SWT does not approve such behavious, then that should be it for a Muslim. End of arguement. The reason why I say this is because if we were to do that to all of Allah SWT’s commandments, then women should stop covering up in the west bcoz it looks backwards, we should considering delaying fardh salat bcoz in the western context, it may be difficult to adhere to the prescribed timings, that we should consider taking out haram loans bcoz that is how things work in the western world, etc etc.
Islam is for all times, so the rules applied at the time of the Prophet SAW should still be followed today irrespective of the society we reside in.
The arguement that aaj ka west mein itni beysharmi hai and that its inpractical/ impossible for young muslims to gurad their chastitiy doesn’t mean we start looking at alternatives, or to bend that which is prescribed in the Sunnah. PCG is absoloutely right, we have created this society with islamically unpractical norms, or we choose to live in the west… that means we are responsible for our actions, we aren’t responsible for changing that which is perfect.
I know that our Shia brothers and sisters would disagree to this, so I guess this post is directed to those who consider Muta’h nikahs haram.
Wassalam.
Re: Mutah [temporary marriage] -- Social and cultural perspective
^Great points, Pinks- completely agree with you!
Re: Mutah [temporary marriage] in the time of Amir ul Momineen Ali ibn Abi Talib
The arguement that aaj ka west mein itni beysharmi hai and that its inpractical/ impossible for young muslims to gurad their chastitiy doesn't mean we start looking at alternatives.
This has nothing to do with the West. Muslims act in unchaste ways in Pakistan too. Human beings have a tendency to do these things and it has nothing to with culture, it has to do more with biology. Islam has created avenues to make our biological urges halaal.
Re: Mutah [temporary marriage] in the time of Amir ul Momineen Ali ibn Abi Talib
plz re-read my post. I did mention unislamic behaviour in muslim societies as well as the west.
Humans have a tendancies to do a lot of things, whether it is biologically based, or otherwise. That is why aik musalmaan ko parheezgari ki tanqeed ki jaati hai. This is what Taqwa is all about, protecting yourself from the evil of our nafs. Marriage is a way out, but like I mentioned, our definition of marriage is different.
Wassalam.
Re: Mutah [temporary marriage] -- Social and cultural perspective
{Please discuss here the social and cultural implication of Mut'ah contract, it benefits and disadvantages for person and the society as a whole. Do not discuss here the validity of Mutah or lack thereof. For that please go to religion forum. Thanks}
At any rate, the day any one of you men are willing to give your daughters off in Muta'a, then come talk to me. Until then, its a practice which really shouldn't be followed, because it does not give a woman basic rights of dignity that a married woman should get.
I think u miss the point completely here
if it is allowed in shariah the I will have NO PROBLEM if any of my female relatives do mutah ....because if something is made halal by the Prophet[saw] who are we to make it haram ? our perceptions of what is dignified or not are meaningless , we surrender our judgement to that of the Prophet[saw]
the question however remains disputed is it halal or not
Re: Mutah [temporary marriage] in the time of Amir ul Momineen Ali ibn Abi Talib
I think these website accounts should not be taken too seriously as there is high chances of fabrication. It would be more interesting for us if you could share your personal interaction with folks who tested such an arrangement (the iraqi folks you mentioned). For instance how they approach this idea ? How some guy can propose this idea to a decent msulim girl ? I mean even if she believes that this arrangement is allowed in her interpretation of religion ? :konfused:
You have rightly pointed out a serious issue which young muslim face these days. Dating, relationship woes. No matter how frowned upon they might be but it is very very common among muslim youth. Whether living in the west or in Pakistan or anywhere else.
Pinks - Okey, I know that mutah is not allowed in sunni Islam at all. But the problem i mentioned above is still very much present in muslim youth. And there seems to be no way out… how do you concur ?
I personally know some people who desperately ‘need’ to get married. And there is no apparent hinderance just that abhi unka number nahi aya.
There is another psychological aspect of pre-nuptual relationship in my opinion which is emotional baggage. You like some person, you get involved in a relationship dreaming that it would be long term, but one fine day it ends abruptly.
Just like you are living at a rented place for some years and one fine day landlord asks you to leave. As compared to going for a one year contract
Re: Mutah [temporary marriage] in the time of Amir ul Momineen Ali ibn Abi Talib
Walikum salam
Please keep in mind where islam emphesise modesty and taqwa and everything … at the same time Islam also know human nature and its needs. Thus there are many ahadees which put a lot of stress on early marraige of young peaple. But as we progressed as a society we have escilated the age of marraige. few decades ago it was late teenage then early 20s and now it is late 20s, due to various reasons i mentioned in my earlier posts.
Now PCG has very rightly proposed a sollution that youngsters (and tahier parents ) should be encourage to tie the knot during studies. Which is a very good idea and nips the bud.
But the question is : How do people take this idea and propagate it in their circles … but even before do younsters themselves like the idea or not ?
Re: Mutah [temporary marriage] in the time of Amir ul Momineen Ali ibn Abi Talib
To be honest, I don’t know how exactly the couple that I knew got married in the Muta’h. I don’t know what approach the guy used to bring it up or if the girl brought it up. I knew the girl pretty well, who today is actually permanently married to the guy she did the Muta’h with. They got married after about a year.
From what I do know from speaking with both of them, is that sex was not to be a condition in the Mutah marriage.
One of the girl’s friends who was also an Iraqi Shi’a wanted to do something similar with me. She had her friend and her “temporary husband” talk to me about it. There would be no sex, only a chance to get to know one another better.
She liked me and I knew that, but I also knew that my Sunni side of the family, would probably ostracize me for that, so I decided not to pursue a muta relationship with her.
Re: Mutah [temporary marriage] in the time of Amir ul Momineen Ali ibn Abi Talib
And you obey all what you have mentioned here? Its like with the maulvis…they preach and teach the good, but do themselves no good at all.
It’s always easier said then done. I know the best practise and Its example very well, but these days Its all a saying when you from a middle or upper class family nothing happens the way you have described here.
Re: Mutah [temporary marriage] in the time of Amir ul Momineen Ali ibn Abi Talib
You don't see women running after muta'a. Its practiced pretty much only in Iraq by a minority and they're male.
I hope you realize that muta'a is less of a picnic for women than for men.
Women dont run after a mutaa and its not a great life for them. You're right. But the fact remains that to perform a mutaa you need that woman. So why do those women agree to it? Perhaps because it is better than the alternative? I dont know.
Something else...do you need anybody to perform the mutaah for you or is it between the couple?
Re: Mutah [temporary marriage] in the time of Amir ul Momineen Ali ibn Abi Talib
Women dont run after a mutaa and its not a great life for them.
Iraqi women would disagree since now Muta is being practiced by more and more Iraqis. It's not a minority of Iraqis who do it anymore, and even Sunnis are joining in, through their misyaar.
Re: Mutah [temporary marriage] in the time of Amir ul Momineen Ali ibn Abi Talib
Iraqi women would disagree since now Muta is being practiced by more and more Iraqis. It's not a minority of Iraqis who do it anymore, and even Sunnis are joining in, through their misyaar.
Hi Moonshiner...If you read my post in full........
Women dont run after a mutaa and its not a great life for them. You're right. *But the fact remains that to perform a mutaa you need that woman. So why do those women agree to it? Perhaps because it is better than the alternative? I dont know. *
Something else...do you need anybody to perform the mutaah for you or is it between the couple?
...you will see that we are probly on the same line of thinking :)
what i am trying to get at is that no-one is forcing women to do mutaa and its not a formal requirement like a nikaah. Couples come to this arrangement on their own, I suppose. And yet women agree to it. What the reason?? There must be something to it.
Re: Mutah [temporary marriage] in the time of Amir ul Momineen Ali ibn Abi Talib
Couples come to this arrangement on their own, I suppose. And yet women agree to it. What the reason?? There must be something to it.
Hi aly-sam :)
Maybe those women like the guy and want to pursue a halaal relationship and get to know the guy before they get permanently married. They don't want to marry someone permanently they barely know.