Murder in New Jersey: An Eye Opener??

Re: Murder in New Jersey: An Eye Opener??

Actually in most cases, when a woman is killed and it wasn't a random act of violence, police do look at the boyfriend/husband as 1st suspect....because it has become common where women are killed by their husbands/bfs.

Re: Murder in New Jersey: An Eye Opener??

According to my sister's friend who knew nazish, she wanted to leave the guy and go back to her family. But because her mom is dead and her dad was too old she thought it was better to stay with this jerk.

Re: Murder in New Jersey: An Eye Opener??

You know, that makes sense of why she was staying with him. That is so sad.

Re: Murder in New Jersey: An Eye Opener??

sad indeed.......

just goes to reinforce why we want to make our daughters independent.......

Re: Murder in New Jersey: An Eye Opener??

I feel like a gossip queen calling my sister to find out more info :D

But okay this is what she has to say, Nazish ran away from her home to get married to this guy. She got married against her parents' wishes. The whole arrange marriage thing in the newspaper is BS... Families are saying this all to maybe cover up that she ran away (maybe they'll get humiliated.. idk). Nazish's and the guy's parents both were against this marriage. She was told not to get married to this guy because of his lies. Finally, after many years families accepted their marriage but still weren't happy.

Re: Murder in New Jersey: An Eye Opener??

Education is the key to give independence to anyone. Once they are educated, let them go out and work even if its for 3 months. IMO, getting out and working for a day teaches more than reading a text book for a month at home. If it was not done by the generation before us, its our job to do it.

and finally, educating girls and letting them feel the water will not break down the moral fiber. At max it can break some bruised egos.

Re: Murder in New Jersey: An Eye Opener??

Oh, cmon, an isolated event and the whole community is being blamed. Do you know how many women in USA are murdered by their husbands, lovers or boyfriends?

Re: Murder in New Jersey: An Eye Opener??

[QUOTE]
I simply dont understand the self pity shown by desis here.
Do any of you have any idea how many black and white women are abused, injured and killed by their boyfriends or husbands everyday?
[/QUOTE]

why do you keep saying that??
where are your numbers that show this was an isolated incident in a desi community? ......
who is blaming the whole community??? ... most folks are blaming lack of education, talking of empowering women ....

Re: Murder in New Jersey: An Eye Opener??

http://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2011/08/23/staying-in-an-abusive-marriage/

This article about Nazish was in the NY Times.

Re: Murder in New Jersey: An Eye Opener??

This could be a different topic and maybe not so relevent to the case but I am wondering if women like Nazish stay in abusive marriages simply because that's the choice they made. Its clear that it wasn't an arranged marriage.. even the article says they dated before getting married. Do women find it wrong/embarassing to go back to parents to complain about someone they chose? I wonder if that was the case with her too.

Re: Murder in New Jersey: An Eye Opener??

I'm sure that some of this played a role in her decision to stay with him.

Re: Murder in New Jersey: An Eye Opener??

Our society penalizes both men and women forever for not honoring their parents' wishes by marrying someone their parents do not approve of. Unfortunately, the effects of it are worse on women. A woman cannot go back to her parents asking them to help her out since she married someone they did not "like". Not only will she hear a lot of galiyan from them, she will forever set a bad example for the rest of the Khandan. Everybody will point at her and say "Dekho kiya hota hai aisi larkiyon ke saath jo maabaap ki nahi sunteen"

Re: Murder in New Jersey: An Eye Opener??

I don't know. While I agree that in some families that's the case....thats also not true in most families. My parents have never once said to me "you chose him, now deal with the problems." I'm hoping more parents are just as compassionate...

Re: Murder in New Jersey: An Eye Opener??

^ Yeah, it's definitely changing! We all married the men we liked (as a matter of fact they encouraged it) but then again I have never considered my family traditional/conservative. We were quite literally treated like boys..

Re: Murder in New Jersey: An Eye Opener??

I apologize in advance if I am about to step on some toes, but in last many years, I've seen equal if not more love marriages failing than arranged marriages. In fact when it comes to love marriages, I've seen them falling apart within first few months or 1-2 years. Its a reflection of how shallow and hasty our decisions have become to pick a life partner. Life is nothing but a bollywood movie for many of us. Our new generation thinks that having a BF/GF is a social obligation of some sort and if you dont have one, you are a loser. Off course that will give way to love marriages, and because the mindset is not right to began with, that union fails as soon as the bollywoodness is gone from life.

Re: Murder in New Jersey: An Eye Opener??

^ But my parents weren't very liberal either, in fact they were very strict with me and my brother growing up and had something of very conservative mindset.....but they were okay with me finding my own spouse...

Re: Murder in New Jersey: An Eye Opener??

^@TLK- Kia baat hai! Dil jeet liya!

I despise bollywoodness...

and bollywood

:p

Re: Murder in New Jersey: An Eye Opener??

Allah hato bhee . roomal ka kona maRor ke sharmaaing

Oh wait, you said you despise bollywoodness…:smack:

Re: Murder in New Jersey: An Eye Opener??

^ I am dying laughing... lol.. You too funny

Re: Murder in New Jersey: An Eye Opener??

Not to deviate too far from the topic, but what exactly was the guys plan? Besides the fact that a divorce would have been so much easier, why did he chose that mistress? I mean her.

What about that weird gay sugar daddy situation, I mean, do people just bequeath money to virtual strangers like that? Not making sense either.

Kashif Parvaiz's family is coming off looking like Paki Trash here.

I find that the family members of the sadly murdered woman to be greedy...I mean I am sorry, but why would you IMMEDIATELY set up a "fund" for the kids? I have known victims of unfortunate crimes and PEOPLE end up giving money even without the victims families asking for it. Besides, if God forbid, something happened to your sister/cousins kids wouldn't you take care of them anyways?