Multiple Wives...

[Impulse]

Re: Multiple Wives...

@AnGeL EyEs

only our beloved Prophet Muhammed (SAW) and there was one other man after that...i cant recall his name (someone plz refresh my memory).

The Prophet (pbuh) was perfect....there is no way we can be like him even if we tried our best. his heart was cleansed and pure.....there is a story of how this was done.

nobody elses heart has been cleansed in this way....we are nowhere near as perfect as the Prophet (pbuh) was.

[Sara516]

Re: Multiple Wives…

@Impulse

P.S. the guys who talk about marrying more than once (i.e. it being halal)…are usually the ones who are totally unislamic in their behaviour and do the most haram things possible…and when it suits them (i.e. having more than one wife)…then they start chatting about what Islam says. Islam says alot of other things apart from this issue too. do you follow all of the other teachings of Islam?

Yeah i have to agree with you on that one.. we have proof right in this very thread And they can say the exact same to women..

[AnGeL_EyEs]

Re: Multiple Wives...

@Impulse

The Prophet (pbuh) was perfect....there is no way we can be like him even if we tried our best. his heart was cleansed and pure.....there is a story of how this was done.

nobody elses heart has been cleansed in this way....we are nowhere near as perfect as the Prophet (pbuh) him was.

of course^

but there was still one other man that was able to "pull off" the multiple wives thing. May Allah forgive me if im wrong.

[LuxuryItem]

Re: Multiple Wives...

@AnGeL EyEs

of course^

but there was still one other man that was able to "pull off" the multiple wives thing. May Allah forgive me if im wrong.

King Soloman?

Hugh Hefner?

Arab sheikhs?

CBS news caster who had a families in Europe and Latin America?

Who?

[chacha_khan]

Re: Multiple Wives...

@Shoor

From what Ive heard, this arrangement was favoured back in those days when the Quran was written, when the times were uncertain (7th c. Arabia), when the difference in the men to women ratio was apparently huge; so a man was allowed to keep 4 wives cos he was really only protecting them, taking up responsibilty, oh ofcourse as long as he treats them equally.

but today, neither the world is 7th c. arabia, nor the woman. my point is, there must be as many men as women that need getting adopted.

this post hits the nail on the head, all u other dumb brain dead muslims who think otherwise, 1 word.....sheep.......actually even sheep think for themselves, sometimes.
I mean, sheep can be taught to get in they're pen at certain times, i.e when it gets dark, however, if the pen was on fire, they sure as hell wouldn't go anywhere near it................the thing is most muslims would run in and close the gate behind them.
That why muslims find themselves in the situation were in today, yeah, we were given the quran, but god gave us a brain too, only most of us don't use it, understanding the teachings of the quran requires a lot of brain power, and if u don't use ure's how can u preach to others the meaning behind it's teachings.
women in Islam are held in high regard, they're the basis for family life, Islam teaches men to keep they're families together, to keep them happy, why would it allow an act which would break a wifes heart (wether she shows it or not) and be detrimental to the family, u need to take things into context.

[chacha_khan]

Re: Multiple Wives...

some1 talked about adoption, i don't know much about whats written in the quran, but i'm sure somewhere it's makes a point of people who adopt orphans or children who are not they're own, people which in Islam are regarded very highly, because it takes very pure, selfless and kind couple to want to take care of a child (not they're own) for the rest of their lives.
The 'marrying a second wife' to have ure own child doesn't hold water, what if the man was infertile and the wife wanted her own kid, although didn't want to divorce her husband but wanted to take another husband, wouldn't that also be allowed then as paternity wouldn't be an issue because first husband was 'misfiring'.
marrying multiple wives unless last resort (widow/protection of a girl who has no family etc) is a twisted mans version of an valid islamic teaching.

[Impulse]

Re: Multiple Wives…

chacha khan …I agree with you :k:

nice to know not all men are so perverted in their thinking

[hussain87]

Re: Multiple Wives…

@Impulse

chacha khan …I agree with you :k:

nice to know not all men are so perverted in their thinking

kuch kehna to main nahi chahta tha is debate main …lakin ab raha nahi giya …
now let me make it clear i personally will never ever marry more then 1 women …but calling ppl who want to have more then 1 wife perverted is nonsense…saying that men cannot have more 1 wife cuz u think those time were different and the word of god isn,t compitble in this time is bull****…not all men are the same…and no a husband doesn,t need parmission from their 1st wife…if a man buys a gift for 1 wife that doesn,t mean he has to buy the same gift for other wife too maybe she wants something alse… in that case the wife can ask for a gift that she wants…i am just having enough of this childless argument on net…

and boys who are saying islam gave them the right to have more then 1 wife to them i will advise…if u love islam that much then why not go and marry womens who are disabled,widows who can,t take care of their kids and women who can,t have kids and therefore no1 is marriyng them … i am sure u can find plenty of them in pak…islam gave u the right to have more wifes not to fullfill ur sexual sickniss but to support these women to be there to help them out in every possible ways. …

[PyariCgudia]

Re: Multiple Wives...

@Impulse

ALL of the women that i know whose husbands have more than one wife....are UNHAPPY. their wives are unhappy with the situation and dont love the husband as they would if he only had one wife.

if wives are unhappy and sad about the situation.....the guy hasnt fulfilled his responsibilities.....and thats wrong in Islam too.

so can anyone give me just ONE example...of a woman whose husband has more than one wife and shes happy with it? I personalyl dont know of any cases....and neither do people i know

In really biologically pressing situations, yes. African muslim women living in starving war-torn countries have reportedly claimed that they themselves encourage their husbands to marry more than once. Many reasons: Its tough being a woman in such a condition with all the rapes and sexual crimes, there not being enough eligible men to become husbands, high death rates among men, high starvation rates among women left over with no one to support them, etc. You have a biologically better chance of surviving and having healthy children if you become someone's co-wife, than if you stay single and try to make it out on your own.

But those are extreme conditions. I don't think most muslims face these conditions today.

[quas]

Re: Multiple Wives...

@PyariCgudia

Why gross? You don't mind having co-wives. Or is it just ok if a muslim guy does it, but not if a hindu does it?

Thats right. As muslims, we are priviledged and we are definitely allowed to have multiple wives. Why do Pakistani girls favor Hindus so much? Do you know they are idol-worshippers and thats a far worse thing than polygamy- actually polygamy is good in Islam cuz wives share a bond that is rare..:)

[quas]

Re: Multiple Wives...

I am not a moulvi, but I think following are the conditions under which a man should be allowed to have many wives:

1) Wife is unable to satisfy the husband sexually- or refuses to have sex with him the way he wants.
2) Wife is unable to bear a child- a very logical move is to find someone who can bear the child for the husband.
3) Wife is permanently sick or disabled.

But a man should always use his conscious and when choosing to have more than 1 wife. All the ppl I know in Pakistan are happy with multiple wives- even the wives live like sisters with their hubby.

[Raatkirani]

Re: Multiple Wives...

@quas

Thats right. As muslims, we are priviledged and we are definitely allowed to have multiple wives. Why do Pakistani girls favor Hindus so much? Do you know they are idol-worshippers and thats a far worse thing than polygamy- actually polygamy is good in Islam cuz wives share a bond that is rare..:)

That's bakwas and I sincerely hope you're being sarcastic. Firstly, Pakistani girls do not favor Hindus--that's a gross generalization if I ever saw on. Secondly, polygamy is not "good" because "wives share a bond." I know of several polygamous couples and every single one of them are miserable. The wives HATE each other. This isn't some sick perverted fantasy. They usually detest each other and their husbands and if given the choice, all of them would rather be in a monogamous marriage any day.

One thing I want to clear up is that a husband does not need his wife's permission to get married again. People like to think that, but that is absolutely false. In Islam, it's good manners to ask the first wife's permission, but it's not necessary. Women think they can put a clause in their Nikahs, and they can, but it's not enforceable since it would be haram to forbid what is halal for the man.

Also, the Prophet pbuh may have been perfect, but he was only human and so were his wives. It is quite well known that Ayesha RA was known to feel jealous of Khadija RA since the Prophet pbuh remembered her so much. There's even an episode where Ayesha RA gets flustered and argues with the Prophet pbuh about his devotion to Khadija RA, and he has to admonish her. In another instance, Ayesha RA and another wife (I forget which one), are extremely curious about the Prophet's newest wife. Apparently she's beautiful, but when a third wife sees her, she comes back and reports "she's not all that beautiful." (All this comes from an old book "Wives of the Prophet" by Fida Hussain).

And the biggest anti-polygamy stance comes from the Prophet pbuh himself. Ali RA wanted to take a second wife, however the Prophet pbuh categorically forbade him because it would break Fatima's RA heart. Subsequently, Ali RA did not marry another wife until Fatima died.

[quas]

Re: Multiple Wives…

@Raatkirani

That’s bakwas and I sincerely hope you’re being sarcastic. Firstly, Pakistani girls do not favor Hindus–that’s a gross generalization if I ever saw on. Secondly, polygamy is not “good” because “wives share a bond.” I know of several polygamous couples and every single one of them are miserable. The wives HATE each other. This isn’t some sick perverted fantasy. They usually detest each other and their husbands and if given the choice, all of them would rather be in a monogamous marriage any day.

One thing I want to clear up is that a husband does not need his wife’s permission to get married again. People like to think that, but that is absolutely false. In Islam, it’s good manners to ask the first wife’s permission, but it’s not necessary. Women think they can put a clause in their Nikahs, and they can, but it’s not enforceable since it would be haram to forbid what is halal for the man.

Also, the Prophet pbuh may have been perfect, but he was only human and so were his wives. It is quite well known that Ayesha RA was known to feel jealous of Khadija RA since the Prophet pbuh remembered her so much. There’s even an episode where Ayesha RA gets flustered and argues with the Prophet pbuh about his devotion to Khadija RA, and he has to admonish her. In another instance, Ayesha RA and another wife (I forget which one), are extremely curious about the Prophet’s newest wife. Apparently she’s beautiful, but when a third wife sees her, she comes back and reports “she’s not all that beautiful.” (All this comes from an old book “Wives of the Prophet” by Fida Hussain).

And the biggest anti-polygamy stance comes from the Prophet pbuh himself. Ali RA wanted to take a second wife, however the Prophet pbuh categorically forbade him because it would break Fatima’s RA heart. Subsequently, Ali RA did not marry another wife until Fatima died.

I am not telling these things out of my imagination. A very good Islamic scholar, who himself had 3 wives told me these things.. Having many wives is beautiful cuz it teaches sisterhood and tolerance. Maybe you are citing examples of Indian muslims who had problems with many wives and that the wives used to fight each other but I can send you links where it is mentioned that it is okay to have many wives as long as you treat them equal. Why do girls in this forum get angry at the idea of men having many wives? whats wrong in it? I dont understand at all. I for that matter, am not married yet but I might have more than one wife if need arises down the road. FYI, everyone I know in Pakistan who had many wives are happy.. One of my closest friends in Pak, Arshad, 25, got remarried recently and his wife, a mother of 3 kids was very happy during the wedding- I did not see any signs of trouble… Girls in this forum think like goris and thats sux!

[AnGeL_EyEs]

Re: Multiple Wives…

@quas

I am not telling these things out of my imagination. A very good Islamic scholar, who himself had 3 wives told me these things.. Having many wives is beautiful cuz it teaches sisterhood and tolerance. Maybe you are citing examples of Indian muslims who had problems with many wives and that the wives used to fight each other but** I can send you links where it is mentioned that it is okay to have many wives as long as you treat them equal**. Why do girls in this forum get angry at the idea of men having many wives? whats wrong in it? I dont understand at all. I for that matter, am not married yet but I might have more than one wife if need arises down the road. FYI, everyone I know in Pakistan who had many wives are happy.. One of my closest friends in Pak, Arshad, 25, got remarried recently and his wife, a mother of 3 kids was very happy during the wedding- I did not see any signs of trouble… Girls in this forum think like goris and thats sux!

who said that it isnt ok? no one! treating multiple wives equally isnt possible especially in this day in age. Pleasee refer the verses from the Quran that i posted above on this matter.

Also…why dont you ask the wives if they are truly happy?..dont ask the husband. Your friend that is married doesnt account for ALL the other polygomous marriages in the world u know. besides what you see isnt really how it might be. we dont know what goes on behind closed doors do we? you are a fool to believe that these kind of marriages work out. Perhaps if you read more about what Islam has to say about it then you would know. It is NOT advisable in our religion to take on more then one wife. So why do so?

I find it ironic that the very men that dont follow islam (ie pray, fast, etc) always jump on the bandwagon when it comes to marrying more then one wife. So many men cant even provide for one wife let alone 2 or more.

[Afridi786]

Re: Multiple Wives...

if it was only meant for Muhammad PBUH and if only he could fulfill the equality requirement, that why is it in the Quran? Quran is meant for all people for all time. Allah swt gives us permission, who are you to say we shouldn't or can't.
Plz Answer this. Either u are saying that what Allah swt said was wrong, unrealistic, or impossible nouzbillah, or that you are saying that the Quran is not relatable, or compatible with modern times.

What about devout Muslims who have multiple wives, what about them?

[AnGeL_EyEs]

Re: Multiple Wives...

@Afridi786

if it was only meant for Muhammad PBUH and if only he could fulfill the equality requirement, that why is it in the Quran? Quran is meant for all people for all time. Allah swt gives us permission, who are you to say we shouldn't or can't. Plz Answer this. Either u are saying that what Allah swt said was wrong, unrealistic, or impossible nouzbillah, or that you are saying that the Quran is not relatable, or compatible with modern times.

What about devout Muslims who have multiple wives, what about them?

once again...please tell me who here is saying that it isnt allowed for anyone else other then our beloved Prophet (SAW)? what I AM saying however is that it is nearly impossible for any man other then Him to fulfill the requirements of taking on multiple wives.

As far as other devout Muslim that have had multiple wives..only Allah (SWT) knows if they fulfilled the requirements. They will have to answer to Allah and Allah alone.

once again plz refer to this verse from the Quran and tell me what it means to you....

"You will never be able to be fair and just among women (wives)...." Qur’an (4:129)

this verse seems pretty straight forward to me...dont u agree?

[AnGeL_EyEs]

Re: Multiple Wives...

@Afridi786

Plz Answer this. Either u are saying that what Allah swt said was wrong, unrealistic, or impossible nouzbillah, or that you are saying that the Quran is not relatable, or compatible with modern times.

plz refrain from putting words in my mouth. I said that it is impossible for men to fulfull the requirement in this day in age...what i meant was that nowadays with things being so expensive a man cant afford to have more then one wife.:D

[quas]

Re: Multiple Wives...

@AnGeL EyEs

who said that it isnt ok? no one! treating multiple wives equally isnt possible especially in this day in age. Pleasee refer the verses from the Quran that i posted above on this matter.

Also....why dont you ask the wives if they are truly happy?...dont ask the husband. Your friend that is married doesnt account for ALL the other polygomous marriages in the world u know. besides what you see isnt really how it might be. we dont know what goes on behind closed doors do we? you are a fool to believe that these kind of marriages work out. Perhaps if you read more about what Islam has to say about it then you would know. It is NOT advisable in our religion to take on more then one wife. So why do so?

I find it ironic that the very men that dont follow islam (ie pray, fast, etc) always jump on the bandwagon when it comes to marrying more then one wife. So many men cant even provide for one wife let alone 2 or more.

My friend who married another woman is a devout muslim. I asked his wife too- and she was happy. She told me that she would welcome her sisters who would be sharing her husband with her with open arms.. I guess you're right- One can marry multiple wives if you can treat them equal and afford all of them :D. Please dont relate Islamic plural marriages to the plural marriages of the world like the Mormons'. We are far better off when it comes to treating our womenfolk and wives specifically. I have seen Pakistani men with desi and goris wives living happily- both Gori and desi wives get a lot to exchange, share and feel joyous about. I want to change the mindset of Pakistani girls who feel so bad about being 2nd or 3rd wife of some nice man.. I hope you dont feel the same way..

[S02]

Re: Multiple Wives…

@AnGeL EyEs

“You will never be able to be fair and just among women (wives)…” Qur’an (4:129)

this verse seems pretty straight forward to me…dont u agree?

Thank you. I knew I had read that.

[Impulse]

Re: Multiple Wives...

@quas

My friend who married another woman is a devout muslim. I asked his wife too- and she was happy. She told me that she would welcome her sisters who would be sharing her husband with her with open arms.. I guess you're right- One can marry multiple wives if you can treat them equal and afford all of them :D. Please dont relate Islamic plural marriages to the plural marriages of the world like the Mormons'. We are far better off when it comes to treating our womenfolk and wives specifically. I have seen Pakistani men with desi and goris wives living happily- both Gori and desi wives get a lot to exchange, share and feel joyous about. I want to change the mindset of Pakistani girls who feel so bad about being 2nd or 3rd wife of some nice man.. I hope you dont feel the same way..

Maybe the wife doesnt love her husband....and thats why shes happy that he goes with another woman....at least it would save her the headache. A woman who is happy with her husband taking another wife.....doesnt love him (any girl would agree with me). Im a girl so I know how it feels....and so do the other girls....a guy cant say whether a woman will be happy or not. No girl on this forum and no girl in the world who truly loves her husband will be happy with it. she will only be happy if she doesnt like her husband (in this case i feel sorry for your friend)