Re: Mothers not breastfeeding their kids
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Re: Mothers not breastfeeding their kids
Why do u guys feed the trolls? It gets really tiresome and annoying to read the same arguments from each side
Re: Mothers not breastfeeding their kids
Yeah.. the OP is obviously the reincarnation of an already banned troll trying his luck again (on his 4th GS ID now?) and bbcd was one of his sidekicks under his previous nick as well..
Best just ignore..
Re: Mothers not breastfeeding their kids
Peace Paheli00
Some medicines and medicinal care are a means to make business … Often some treatments are offered as a choice much in a similar capacity to selling shares or special offers.
In some places even to this day … C-sections are prohibited by choice and only called in when a medical condition is found in the mother and a doctor recommends the alternative.
Re: Mothers not breastfeeding their kids
Peace Sara516
It is true that not all the mothers who don’t breastfeed or who don’t have natural births are selfish … but if some of them have motives that are … I don’t want to experience the pain or I don’t have the time and my boobs will get big … If these are the reasons presented is it then not valid grounds to call those person in particular selfish?
Re: Mothers not breastfeeding their kids
Psyah does have a point. To deprive your child of the best option due to reasons that are not serious hindrances to nursing/health and are more about vanity…then it can be said that the motive/stance/attitude is more self-centered. Perhaps self-centered is milder sounding than selfish. It doesn’t necessarily mean that the woman is a self-centered mother overall and will be so in every single aspect of upbringing…but self-centered in regards to this particular issue/choice. I’m not insensitive to the fears that women have about the aesthetic sense of their bodies as it’s very natural to feel self-conscious about our looks and it doesn’t help that society/media places tremendous pressure upon women to look a certain way. Despite knowing the pros and cons of nursing …and even with their being more pros…women still have to overcome the emotional/psychological blocks and it can certainly be tough as we’re not all the same.
Re: Mothers not breastfeeding their kids
In my opinion, breastfeeding is a very intimate and personal issue. It is complex and frustrating as mucn as it is rewarding and there are so many emotional physical and mental facets of breastfeeding that we cant simplify it by calling it a choice. It is literally something that benefits the mother as well as the child. However, the desi people I have met or come across feel that it is completely acceptable to ask the mother what and how much are you feeding the baby. Why or why not are you feeding the baby. If a mother chooses to not breastfeed, it doesn’t mean she is starving the child. She loves him and has simply found an alternative. It is not our place to judge or question her choice whether she is a working mom or a sahm.
bbcd- actually women not choosing to breastfeed because they are concerned with their figure is questionable. Breastfeeding actually helps burn calories and when a mother takes a well balanced diet, she can lose some of her pregnancy weight if not all. You really are not being fair and there are so many stereotypes i can throw at you about women in desiland but I will just stay mum. Its not like much will sink in.
Re: Mothers not breastfeeding their kids
is it wrong to not want to go through the pain of childbirth? if a woman chooses to have pain relief during labor, how is that selfish? or did I misunderstand your post?
Re: Mothers not breastfeeding their kids
i think he means his boobs hurt from being chapped while nursing the babies, not labor pain. #lanolin4psyah](http://www.paklinks.com/gs/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=lanolin4psyah)
Re: Mothers not breastfeeding their kids
Bella88 you have a very good point - that stumped me … I think however that wanting to have pain relief in its forms differs based on the benefits to the baby. There are noticeable benefits that baby has through natural birth - and some of them include better lactation than their C-section counterparts …
Spinoff: C-Sections and Low Milk Supply - BabyCenter
Any form of pain relief during the delivery will affect the baby somehow … some are temporary and others might be less temporary … Breast milk is good for the antibodies in the baby … formula just cannot compete on that level.
I think there is a play off between the amount of pain one can bear and the level of benefit the child will get without that pain relief … However, many women are not made aware of the pros and cons of taking pain relief … Admittedly birth is a scary moment and women are entitled to all the comfort they need. I just think there are a very few women - who want it to be like a walk in the park.
Re: Mothers not breastfeeding their kids
The simple fact is that pregnancy and childbirth are extremely hard on a woman. Being pregnant myself, I am learning how wrong it is to judge someone’s decisions about their own body without walking in their shoes first. So easy to forget that the mother is a human being too! I think a mother should make a sincere attempt to breastfeed, but if it is getting too painful or just too stressful for her own sanity, then she has every right to switch to an alternative. That may actually allow her to focus on her baby more and build a more loving relationship.
And for those judging women opting for pain relief during labor, next time you have a toothache, try getting it fixed without any pain meds. Should be easy peasy compared to childbirth anyway. 
Re: Mothers not breastfeeding their kids
If you take bbbcd’s comment within the context, you will see that it is merely a reaction to niksik’s post, which can be taken as offensively as bbbcd’s post.
And then the replies of Reha contain just more self-glorification and disguised insults.
So I don’t see what the fuss is about if you going to reply back in the same manner. If you really want to make a statement then behave differently.
Sincerely,
A paindu.
Re: Mothers not breastfeeding their kids
and how do you judge their motives? How many women do you know intimaitely that you can judge their motives for not doing a certain thing? Because I’ve been around lots of women, last time I checked I was a woman myself, and I can tell you with 100% certainty that nobody elects to choose c-section only to avoid pain or NOT breastfeed to save their figure–the recovery should be enough to deter most people from OPTING for something. If they elect it, there could be a host of other reasons that really unless it was your own spouse, is none of your business to judge or point fingers at.
Personally I find peoples fascination with what other women are doing with their breasts and nipples and vaginas is pretty weird. They don’t belong to you, so stop being so judgy.
Re: Mothers not breastfeeding their kids
Just going by the news … No offence
Well-off mothers really are ‘too posh to push’ study finds | Mail Online
'Posh’ versus 'Push’ childbirth - Telegraph](http://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/womens-health/8643544/Posh-versus-Push-childbirth.html)
Re: Mothers not breastfeeding their kids
So? convenience of due date, wanting to be alert enough to cuddle the baby instead of tired from labor, they may be selfish or unselfish reasons, but why does it matter to you?
Re: Mothers not breastfeeding their kids
you also can’t judge an entire gender based on the actions of a few. Maybe those women say they’re too posh to push but you have no idea what the actual thought process is. A friend of mine had both her kids at home because she’s deathly afraid of hospitals and refused to go in for her deliveries. To you, that probably seems like she took unnecessary risks, but to her and her spouse, it was the best way of delivering their child. You simply cannot judge other women for the childbirth and nursing choices they make. You are not a woman, you will never know what it is like, and until you have pushed a human out of your body via natural delivery or have been cut open in a major abdominal surgery, you are not entitled to an opinion. The only
exception is with your wife and the birth of your own children and even then your first duty is to support HER wishes, not impose your own beliefs. It’s just not your body or your suffering and recovery to comment on.
Personally speaking, i will have an elective c section this time. My first child was 9.5lbs and he got stuck. My doctor would rather I not suffer the same way this time trying to labour as this child will also most likely be bigger than average. I agree. My recovery was painful and slow. I was tired and in constant pain and unable to nurse beyond a week. If I can avoid that to even a small extent and be alert and well at the end of the delivery to parent both my children, then you can bet that’s what I’m doing. And sure, there’s always a chance this baby will not be as large and I could have a successful VBAC but I’m not interested in finding out. Removing the placenta- by any means- is what triggers milk production and if that doesn’t work, I’ll take alternate steps at that time, and if it still doesn’t work, then formula zindabad. My kiddo’s been flying high off the height and weight charts since he was born mashAllah thanks to a set of healthy parents and a healthy diet and lifestyle. He’s just one example of a thriving child fed almost exclusively on formula as an infant and that’s enough for me and my husband.
Re: Mothers not breastfeeding their kids
Sorry sister Sara516 this is not an argument … I was merely presenting a fuller picture … As you can see one of my links shows pros and cons of both. Peace.
Re: Mothers not breastfeeding their kids
All of this is totally unnecessary … If you read the previous trail you will see I am not judging a whole gender … Rather I am preventing the whole gender being painted with a single brush …
I have no idea of personal examples of people who did not C-section out of choice … The way to get proper data is not to post your own experiences and assume everyone is the same as you, but to treat your own cases as variants of a possible plethora of cases, some of which are selfish …
Re: Mothers not breastfeeding their kids
how are you doing so? in your previous post all you’ve done is post a few articles on how some women are too posh to push and then you’ve done the same for c-sections and how they can interfere with nursing. you’re generalizing, and you have been doing so since this thread started. you’ve decided if women CHOOSE to exercise their parenting rights and rights over their bodies and don’t nurse or don’t want to give birth vaginally, then they are selfish and want it to be like “a walk in the park.” meanwhile, as i and other have said, you’re not qualified to judge this. you’re just not. no one is other than the mother herself and her partner.
as for personal examples, of course you have no idea! again, this is why you are making the assumptions you are, and choosing to believe that women tend to make these choices because they are “uninformed” of the consequences rather than accepting that these women ARE informed, and WANT it this way and that is OK too. it’s why i posted my own example to illustrate this to you. i’ve done the research, i’ve read the articles, i’ve spoken to the qualified doctors and nurses in my life, and i’ve CHOSEN to have a second c-section because it is what makes sense for me, whether or not it makes sense to you or medically or whomever else, matters not to either myself or my husband. as far as i know, this is how all women decide how to give birth. no one i know is just sitting around waiting for their water to break with no idea of what happens next and what their choices are, nor are they concerned with what others will think if they find out they had a c-section by choice or chose to formula feed because it is more convenient for them. and yes, nursing IS about convenience too, not just about giving your child the best because as with most parenting, is it NEVER black and white, and no, that doesn’t make you selfish.
Re: Mothers not breastfeeding their kids
I don’t want to experience the pain.
I just witnessed my sister go through 2 days of labor…in NO hurry to get there or experience it. If you think that’s selfish…sure.
Why is this so difficult for a man to grasp? You have three kids psyah…you should not be trivializing childbirth in such a manner.
I have come to the conclusion that men in general cannot possibly grasp this - every single post is always a way to find faults in a woman…she is selfish, she is this or she is that. She cannot possibly do anything right…she is wrong if she cannot breastfeed, if she sends her kids to school, if she works, if she isn’t perfect, etc. Islam doesn’t even critisize a woman as much as MUSLIMS do and furthermore…MUSLIM MEN do. Her choices are her own and she is recognized as an individual in Islam (when Allah swt allows a woman to work…who is a mere man to question His ruling?)…but that part is ignored because Ya Haraam…she isn’t breastfeeding for two years.
Some women can breastfeed but they don’t have the luxury to. They have to work. Call it selfish because we’ve stretched out our needs so we cannot live without a roof over our heads and food in our stomach or whatever but it is what it is.
And its perfectly okay. Ladies should and will do what they need to do according to what’s right for **their **families - not yours. If someone judges them for it - what else is new? As long as God is alright with it…I don’t see why a mere mortal feels its okay to start poking their nose in His business.