Re: Mother tongue.
:D
I thought your mother tongue is punjabi.
it is indeed :D
Re: Mother tongue.
it is indeed :D
Awwww so sweet, now what's your gender please? :D
Re: Mother tongue.
Awwww so sweet, now what's your gender please? :D
na na na na...dont ruin the thread please. :)
Re: Mother tongue.
we are Urdu Speaking family from the Lucknow which you guys already know from my writings on GS. we live N breath Urdu but in my own home is unfortunately limited to only a few members. i speak to my bro N bhabhi in another dialect of Urdu while we speak in English with my nephew and nieces. these kids do NOT know Urdu at all...they may understand a few words or a small sentence but do NOT understand conversations in Urdu...they never watch Bollywood movies or shows, they do NOT even eat Indian/Pakistani/desi food on a regular basis yet...it's because we never enforced Urdu on them. i think their parents thought that they will never go back to India so what's the point.
strangely, my nephew and the two nieces have never been to India. it's sad though! :(
Re: Mother tongue.
I grew up with #2 so use that with parents sibs cousins etc, but i use #1 whenever talking to outsiders mostly to try and sound more authentic :halo:
Re: Mother tongue.
Concept of mother tongue is only valid if generation after generations are living in the same region. Urdu could be my mother tongue, but go back 5 generations and I am sure my forefathers were speaking a totally different language (Sanskrit, Arabic, farsi etc). Same with our kids. I can force my kids to keep Urdu as their primary language, but what about their kids and kids after them?
You know you have to die one day. Why then do you try so hard to stay alive?
Re: Mother tongue.
language is not a construct of 'words" alone, it carries with it a culture. Breaking off from your language is like breaking from your true identity. Kids must be colored in the color of their own culture and language is one of the most important catalyst that strengthens this bond.
worth reading twice..... well said.
Re: Mother tongue.
Concept of mother tongue is only valid if generation after generations are living in the same region. Urdu could be my mother tongue, but go back 5 generations and I am sure my forefathers were speaking a totally different language (Sanskrit, Arabic, farsi etc). Same with our kids. I can force my kids to keep Urdu as their primary language, but what about their kids and kids after them?
Valid point.
What are your thoughts on providing them the gift and then letting them decide whether or not they want to pass it on to their own kids? At least you will have enriched them as much as you could have.
I grew up in Canada. I was taught to speak, read and write urdu at home by Ammi. I didn't enjoy the lessons when they were being administered.....heck no! I would much rather have been outside playing with the other kids. Am I glad that she did what she did? Heck yes! If she had not, there are so many treasures that would have been alien to me.....meant nothing to me. Because my parents were staunch and forced me to learn the language, I enjoy so many things that I otherwise could not have.
Furthermore.....as GK said, language carries with it the culture.......tehzeeb and tameez. Granted that you could suggest learning this from Islam but if you look carefully enough you will find little indicators that hint at a person's heritage, even in the language. In my opinion a person that does not/cannot respect and revere his/her heritage is a lost soul who's existence on this plane will expire like a sparkler; quickly.
Re: Mother tongue.
i think TLK's point is valid but kids are at a disadvantage as long as they have contacts with older folks back home. it's true in my family...my bro's kids are in early and late 20's and they do not speak a word of Urdu and when folks from India come over for a visit they can NOT communicate with them and that's NOT fair either to them or the visiting relatives. this widens the gap between them
Re: Mother tongue.
You know you have to die one day. Why then do you try so hard to stay alive?
Sorry, its still early in the morning here and my brain is not working. The relation between my post and your comment is not registering
Valid point. What are your thoughts on providing them the gift and then letting them decide whether or not they want to pass it on to their own kids? At least you will have enriched them as much as you could have.
I grew up in Canada. I was taught to speak, read and write urdu at home by Ammi. I didn't enjoy the lessons when they were being administered.....heck no! I would much rather have been outside playing with the other kids. Am I glad that she did what she did? Heck yes! If she had not, there are so many treasures that would have been alien to me.....meant nothing to me. Because my parents were staunch and forced me to learn the language, I enjoy so many things that I otherwise could not have.
Furthermore.....as GK said, language carries with it the culture.......tehzeeb and tameez. Granted that you could suggest learning this from Islam but if you look carefully enough you will find little indicators that hint at a person's heritage, even in the language. In my opinion a person that does not/cannot respect and revere his/her heritage is a lost soul who's existence on this plane will expire like a sparkler; quickly.
Language is only one small part of culture. Thinking that we would not be able to transfer tehzeeb and tameez to our kids if I cant help them learn my mother toungue is almost implying that my goonga and behra kid (if I had one) would be a badtameez and badtehzeeb kid for ever. I can very well teach my kids all the manners and etiquette of our culture without forcing them to speak Urdu like Molvi Abdul Haq
Re: Mother tongue.
I can very well teach my kids all the manners and etiquette of our culture without forcing them to speak Urdu like Molvi Abdul Haq
I'm not suggesting that you can't. Just that the language brings a lot of that with it.
I think we've been around this bush before so I won't press. We simply have differing views on teaching our kids urdu. I am staunch on it and you don't see a purpose behind it.
I think I always get baited by this subject because the language and all that relates to it is dear to me (not that it isn't to you) and seeing it die or be relegated to "unnecessary to make an effort because it will die anyway" is very discouraging.
Re: Mother tongue.
It really gets my goat (
) when I see becharay elders putting together broken sentences in english just to communicate with their grandchildren because the parents didn’t see the value in teaching them urdu.
My pet peeve I guess.
Re: Mother tongue.
I was never good in English, but enjoyed all the aspects of Urdu language. But English is also a every rich language and has lot to offer. My kids will not be denied form enjoying a language and how a positive use of it could help them develop a great foundation. Yes, that language may not be Urdu.
When we all want our kids to be raised how we were raised, I believe its more out of nostalgia than anything else. No disrespect intended.
Re: Mother tongue.
you know what, my in laws are pretty good in English, and my Urdu medium mom loves the fact that because of her grand kids, she is forced to learn a new language at this age. SHe really takes it very positively as she likes to be independent and dont want an ‘interpreter’ to accompany her when she goes to her doctor or dentist or for grocery buying, so she sees this as an opportunity to get better in spoken english
Having said that, I want my kids (and they do to some bit and improving every day) to know Urdu. But we’ve seen extremes too. Just so they can communicate with grand parents, parents focus so much on urdu that when kid starts school, he faces a hard time because he just cannot understand what te4achers and other kids are talking about. We had one family almost moved back to India just because son was suffering from major social anxiety to the extent that he was developing a bad self esteem. I never wanted my kids to pay that price, just so they can speak with their grand parents properly.
I am sorry, I know I am very anal person and always keep challenging the conventional wisdom, especially when it comes to parenting.
Re: Mother tongue.
oh my ammi did the same.....and she needed no interpreter with her either. she managed just fine...even in the early 70's when she went to college for training and then to work in Toronto but still......I see the difference of relationship that those grand kids who could speak urdu had with her and the absence of attachment the others had that could perhaps understand what she was saying but not express themselves as well. (I have specific examples.....test cases, if you will.....both on my side and hubby's side of the family.)
yes....there is a bit of nostalgia associated with my "conventional" method......if you can call it that, though I would argue that your method is conventional because I am in the minority. but to dismiss it as only that doesn't seem fair.
please don't make apologies for your opinion......I don't.
Re: Mother tongue.
I was never good in English, but enjoyed all the aspects of Urdu language. But English is also a every rich language and has lot to offer. My kids will not be denied form enjoying a language and how a positive use of it could help them develop a great foundation. Yes, that language may not be Urdu. .
Imagine if they could enjoy the richness of BOTH!!!!
I'm jus' sayin'
Re: Mother tongue.
Oh I thought that I am in minority who does not think that its important to teach your kids urdu in organized manner.
Re: Mother tongue.
Oh I thought that I am in minority who does not think that its important to teach your kids urdu in organized manner.
well I can't say about GS.....but in practical life I think that you are certainly not in the minority......seems everyone has kids that understand urdu but stop speaking it as soon as they start school.
Re: Mother tongue.
If you bother so much about urdu and keeping culture and stuff, why immigrate in the first place?
if you choose to make another country your home, then be sure about it. The world doesn't need more ABCDs.
Re: Mother tongue.
^ now that is a very weak argument my friend. For that matter, we should quit practicing islam also just because we moved to a non-Muslim country by choice