I wonât hesitate for one second to marry a girl who thinks like maham. Maham is coming out strong because her tendency to be positive and work things with her future husband and their in-laws in the future is simply worth tributing.
Honey, youâre not married are you?! How about you wait, actually get married, practice what you preach and then come back and contribute in this thread. Iâm 100% sure your viewpoint would have taken a 180 degree turn.
All these girls hemming and hawing about how they donât want their husbands to live separately from their parents, I can swear on my life are all unmarried, naive girls sitting at home watching too many Indian dramas and Bollywood movies and dream of being the next âTulsiâ from Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu thi. The truth is, in reality and practicality living in a joint family system in the long term is not what ANY woman wants. NONE. I have yet to meet a married woman who likes the institution. So grow up, get some actual life experience and then talk.
Maham asked for religious references as she (bizarrely) doesnât believe that Islam discourages the joint family setup..
Yes, there are ppl in the world who donât have food to eat but I canât see why that means we shouldnât have a valid discussion on the subject of living with inlaws, esp when it seems to be the cause of so many marital problems and disagreements in desi families.. Something that might not be deemed âimportantâ enough to talk about by you isnât necessarily no big deal to the next girl..
Very well said. And this is precisely what i have been trying to say all the while but i think you said it alot better and in a calm way so hopefuly these people wl understand.
Did i say that? Huh. Why are you playing such a chamcha to your frnd. Donât you have a life of your own? Waise i highly doubt you do.
Did u guys post any Quranic reference when i askd you? No nah. For me there is not only a single reference from Quran but the whole of it which propogates family system. So if you want i can mail you the Quran if you cant afford it yourself.
I am sorry if i was harsh in my tone but if you had noticed my tone got that only for posts where stupid things were said to justify their stand. I dont care whether they live with their in laws or not, what does it do to me? But i find it hard to understand when they are giving such stupid justifications.
Why are you saying to me that death doest have to be the only sign that one is miserable or in pain? Did u not c that it was in response to what somebody had posted here. That no child has ever died for not having grandparents around everyday? Now was that an appropriate thing to say? Now howcome all that is ok with u all to read but what i wrote is highlighted? pls i had like to know why this difference.
:=) Thanks for your concern. But i think you should rather be more concerned about your family life which according to me wonât be all bed of roses if you keep thinking the way you do. All the best.
Why not. I absolutely think the inlaws have so many obligations and duties towards their dils and sils, esp the dil cuz hopefuly she is part of their family. They should provide her a comfortable home, environment and lots of love so that it becomes easy for her to adjust to her new family, new home. They have to be understanding towards her and do their best to make her feel comfortable and at ease.
I dont know where are you guys getting all these ideas from? We have obligations towards our neighbours, our helpers, maids, friends so what makes you think we dont have obligations for our dils.
IF you are hoping my inlaws will be after my life and making my life hell, then hell yes i wl change my mind. I never said the dils are obligated to tolerate their inlaws torture too. All that i said was that its wrong to want to move out even if everything is fine. Donât want to move out if my mil doesnt let me select everyday what the menu is or if i have to inform her if i am going somewhere and when wl i come. I think these are petty issues to leave such valuable relationships for.
Bravo!