I don’t think men can grasp this concept of mongamy.
Isn’t that why they are allowed multiple wives, as long all are treated fairly?
The non-Muslim desi men I know, aren’t able to be faithful to their wives. Monogamy is such a foreign concept to them because men are not able to grasp it, if there’s an opportunity to cheat, they will. Occasionally, they need a different dish for dinner, “strange” is what they say.
Before the gender issue is brought up, I know women cheat too but for different reasons.
@Bobby1 Please tell the OP why she is wrong. Feel free to quote instances where a millionaire white babe whipped her husband’s skinny behind for cheating on her and how a man from Pakistan was taken to the cleaners by her ABCD wife when he tried to marry a hot lebenase woman.
Monogamy is not natural for anyone. Though, considering the effort put in to raise human offspring (how parents have to raise their kids for a long time before they can go off on their own) the monogamous pair bonds humans get into make sense. Then you consider the advent of civilization and religion and blah blah blah and they create ways to manage reproduction (marriage). Polygyny probably became a thing in patriarchal societies so men could have as many sons as possible to pass down the family name or some ****. The Islamic reasons for this may not be the same, but they definitely were not thinking of men’s supposed inability for monogamy.
Men aren’t dumb. It’s not that they can’t fathom monogamy. They just don’t want to, especially when you factor in our desi culture. This is what happens in a culture that forces each and everyone to get married and follow the ~traditional~ lifestyle. These dudes do not want the traditional lifestyle and probably only agreed to it because of parents that won’t stop breathing down their neck. How are you supposed to cultivate genuine love and attraction with someone when it is done in an environment like that? If we are factoring desi culture, men probably have more opportunities to cheat anyways because generally they are more mobile than women (more of them have jobs, are able to go out alone more..etc) Even in Western culture, there is a pressure to marry and have a nuclear family (it’s waning, but it is still there). If people were more honest about the lifestyle they want to live (live like a bachelor/bachelorette forever or get married and ****) cheating could be *reduced. *Not completely gone but reduced. In fact, honesty and communication could solve a lot of problems regarding this stuff, but people are too cowardly to actually utilize it.
People are obviously going to feel attraction to multiple people in their lifetime. But, we are also evolved beyond the stage of needing to mess around with each and everyone we are attracted to. People have self control.
If a man needs a “different dish every night” not even four wives will satiate him lol. I bet that will make things worse because he will have four households to worry about lmfao.
Yeah i think most of us aren’t wired to be to tied down to one woman, however i don’t speak for all guys when I say this but I’d only want one wife, though I think It’s easier in theory than in practice.
Truth is most people don’t know what they want, many guys want the married life and traditional family and still cheat. It’s not like people plan out cheating in the future.
So after 10 years of being married to your wife, a hot girl at work starts flirting with you, professional texts start to be something more close to sexting, and she is all set to be with you, chill, hangout whatever the latest word is to “have sex with eventually”. Would you?
Most of these guys did not have traditional, arranged marriages. 1 did true but how the couple met I don’t think has to do with a guy wanting a different woman every now and then.
Yea that’s why you don’t give in like Prophet Yusuf A.S and commit to your deen and wife. @Thirdstring, we’re working to be a good role model for our future kids and the community, right? …
If most guys don’t understand monogamy that doesn’t matter as much. Just have to make sure your guy understands it.
There are still people out there that are fully committed and are okay with just one spouse.
Im okay with just 1 wife but it’s a struggle women need to appreciate that men sacrifice a natural instinct to spread our seeds. Likewise women are hypergamous and are wired to pick the bigger, stronger, and wealthier guy. So if you’re a bum with a hot wife then appreciate that she isn’t leaving you for a higher status guy lol.
No. A situation like that is not “not knowing what you want.” It is more accurately “wanting to have your cake and eat it too” syndrome. Dudes like that want the perks of a ~traditional~ marriage (a wife that will give them kids, stay with them to rear the kids and take care of the home) while having as many side hos as he wants. Basically wanting a 100% traditional woman while not having to be as traditional as his wife. More commonly known as a man who ain’t sh*t.
I’m surrounded by good looking married guys that constantly look around and are not able to be faithful, desi or nondesi. Even my female friends are surrounded by them. And thirdstring confirms it even more why men are like this.
I’ve never been happier to be single, I would not want to be their wife.
“your guy” implies ownership that’s exactly what this is proving, that a person has no personal obligation to be faithful and neither does he belong to his wife. If he gets tempted and is weak, there’s nothing preventing him from being late coming home because he’s paying a visit to another woman.
Sure, there is nothing “preventing” him but is he is someone of faith or values the sacredness of the relationship then he most likely won’t step out. There’s a certain level of trust you need to place in your spouse that they will not cheat. If they do, then you’ll have to decide next steps, etc. You can never control the other person but you can decide how you want to live your life, how you want to deal with different situations and know what you value, are willing to tolerate and set your personal boundaries.
Also, most people choose not to step out because the consequences are more troubling then the act of cheating. Ie. someone might know their spouse will leave with the kids, house, etc if they do cheat so they would rather stay faithful then have some side fun and deal with all that.
Others are very religiously/ cultural/ morally conscious and would never sacrifice their values and thus control themselves.
My friends and acquaintances make their lives complicated for god knows why. It keeps life interesting for them. Running around having these illicit relationships while married makes it even more thrilling for them and they can obviously handle it because they haven’t had their body parts kicked in. Men still rule because women, for the most part, are the emotional ones. It all makes me hate the idea of any type of romantic relationship and/or the male species.
From purely a biological and evolutionary point of view, polygamy seems more logical e.g. ensuring best possible genes for offspring survival etc, but problem is this is 2017, and we have already evolved to unevolable (sorry this word does not exist in dictionary) proportions at least socially. So monogamy is perhaps more PC *officially *to keep everyone happy. Now what goes on behind closed doors and at partners’ backs is an open secret.
But you said that after being married for a couple years, if a hot girl proposes chilling or hooking up, you would not be able to resist and say no to her advances.
With all those cleavages and tight yoga pants being all around you men, how can you resist especially after a couple years of marriage.
