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i just watched this show on Samaa TV…i wonder why MILS are so much full of hate for their DILS!
this show is based on TRUE stories.
what do you think is more responsible for the murder of the DIL?
1. the MIL: for her constant nagging and bad mouthing
2. the SON: who is controlled by his mother and doesn’t use his brain
3. the DIL: who reacted in a way which escalated the situation and her bad mouthing in reactio to her DIL’s onslaught of verbal abuse
4. the SYSTEM: which doesn’t protect women who want to get away from such situations
**5. the DIL’s Family: **who did NOT do anything [at least not shown in the video] to protect the DIL
i squarely blame the husband of the murdered woman for everything. he could have easily controlled the situation from escalation to the point of murder.
The fact can’t be denied that in our Desi Culture, such incidences takes place and sometimes or most of the times, due to husband’s behavior. Wouldn’t go in to the stats as I don’t really know. But in the above video, truly speaking, I found the girl to be blamed about it.
I can clearly see the behavior of her MIL and husband BUT on the other hand, all she was punished is due to her uncontrolled languaged. The way she is speaking is clearly unacceptable. Mera to dil ker raha hay ke main hi aik thappar laga doon. Suno, meri baat suno, maa ko samjha lo and all that stuff. I don’t say what she said was wrong. Her point might be right but the way of delivering is quite provoking.
I also understand that the reenactment shows how the man is in fully control of his mother BUT, do you think he would have been same if he would find his wife innocent?? If the girl would have behaved in a more civilized and decent and polite manner, there could be the possibility that the guy wouldn’t hear his mother. But jo jo uski maa kehti thi, usay wo dikhta bhi tha…
Watch the fight at 19:00 mins onwards, simply unacceptable. Apni baat ko manwanay ke aisay tariqay nahin hotay!! and I would blame the girl again to be beaten, aisay laray gi to thappar hi khanay ko milega!
Sorry to say, I don’t know why all are taking side for her? because of the death?
The psychologist said, shabana shuru se bardasht kerti aayi hain but sesriously, Not a single scene included where I could see her being polite, in fact she started using the TU TU language with saas. Even if the saas is wrong, can you react like being such an illiterate. Insan aap aap kerke hi lar leta hay. The girl totally lack the literacy and manners.
Not only this, she picked up a chappal on her saas?? really? I mean, really???
Ofcourse murdering is a big sin and that was a wrong part from the Susral side BUT, this was the girl’s behavior that led them to take such a step.
Please before opposing my points, I would like you watch the whole video. This will help you understanding my opinion.
^ No matter how rude a DIL is, her in laws have no right to take away her life from her!
Yes, rassing a chappal to a saas is horrible behavior, but there are ways to handle it - police complaint, file for a divorce.
^ the thing is she was NOT like that initially...remember that she was NOT using foul language at all in the beginning...the constant nagging by the MIL and her unending effort to turn her son against the DIL drove her to the point where she lost all the respect for her MIL...
...you have to consider the human psyche...when someone is pinned against the wall, he/she is going to react in an unpredictable manner and that's exactly the DIL did. no?
That's true. Did she really raise a chappal or is that the pov of the mil?
no, DIL did raise her chappal but NOT on her MIL but on the neighborhood lady. MIL was talking terrible things about her DIL with this lady whose role was indeed that of a oil sprinkler on the fire. MIL called DIL a barren woman while clearly the husband was responsible for NOT having a baby. she lost her cool and told this lady to get lost.
^ No matter how rude a DIL is, her in laws have no right to take away her life from her!
Yes, rassing a chappal to a saas is horrible behavior, but there are ways to handle it - police complaint, file for a divorce.
exactly, there are ways to handle it. And I never said, ke larki ke sath jo hua achha hua, of course its wrong. but tell me, agar larki ke behavior se tng aakay larka suicide kerta to tb kiya kaha jata??
^ the thing is she was NOT like that initially...remember that she was NOT using foul language at all in the beginning...the constant nagging by the MIL and her unending effort to turn her son against the DIL drove her to the point where she lost all the respect for her MIL...
...you have to consider the human psyche...when someone is pinned against the wall, he/she is going to react in an unpredictable manner and that's exactly the DIL did. no?
Sorry, I didn't find her polite in ANY scene. Can you please specify the scene??
no, DIL did raise her chappal but NOT on her MIL but on the neighborhood lady. MIL was talking terrible things about her DIL with this lady whose role was indeed that of a oil sprinkler on the fire. MIL called DIL a barren woman while clearly the husband was responsible for NOT having a baby. she lost her cool and told this lady to get lost.
No, Could you not hear, DIL raised the chappal and said to the neighbor, "tum kahan chaleen, tum** BHI** to kuch leti jaao naa" what did the sentence mean?
See, I am NOT justifying the situation. A murder IS a murder. I am just telling that susral walay buray to thay hi but larki ki bohat hi badtameez language ne unhay aur sher kardiya. Agar larki itni hi tng thi to kisi achay waqt dekh ke apnay ghar kyun nahin bhaagi? Usay kiya laga tha, aisee baten saas se kerke wo aagay ki life sukun se guzaar sakti thi?? her giz nahin, larki ka step ye hona chahye tha ke agar ye harkaten uss ki bardasht se bahar hogayee theen to usay ghar chor ke chalay jana chahye tha aur khula maang leti!! Rishte tu tu main main kerke nahin bantay, neechon ke sath neech nahin bana jata....!! wo bhi itna ke saas ko bohat hi buray alqabat se nawazna....kaun beta sunega aisa??
The mother in law is equally as batameez if they are saying the bahu was batameez. It takes two to tango. In any case batameezi is no excuse to kill.
so are you actually justifying the girl's behavior??
I agree to your second sentence though. BUT, can't you see, the killing wasn't planned?? It was unintentionally. And indeed, girl adopted the worst behavior. If and when she knew that her husband has a really short temper, why was she throwing provoking sentences with a really stupid and illiterate tone...?? and that led the man to get uncontrolled. Again, not taking man's side, but agar aurat ko uske shohor ka mizaaj pata chal jaye to usay kai jagho p maslehat se kaam lena chahye. Itnay buray log thay to bhai ko bulwati. Chali jati. Divorce le leti. Magar maslo ka hal wo nahin hota jesa is larki ne nikala.
.....Sorry, I didn't find her polite in ANY scene. Can you please specify the scene??
remember the scene when the DIL was in her room sleeping...her MIL kept on harrassing her to het up...she does get up and then goes to the Kitchen and explains why she was still sleeping...because her hubby had a day off. DIL gives her a mouthful but she still says "ammi aa to gaii huN ab maiN...." ... she never used any bad language and she came off as a loving person while her MIL sounded like her sworn enemy.
No, Could you not hear, DIL raised the chappal and said to the neighbor, "aap jaayengi ya aap BHI kha ke jaayengi" what did the sentence mean?
you are missing words uttered by her MIL a few moments before the chappal incident. MIL calls DIL a barren woman while the fault lay with her son...then she starts saying blah blah blah followed by...i'm going to beat you up then she reacts with chappal k...:ok, come on...beat me if you have the guts...it was more of a defensive and reactionary move on the part of the DIL.
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I agree with you that her tone was rude. I actually didnt watch the entire video, kind of just fast forwarded through it to get a gist of it. Anyways, we are given the story from the middle and we don't know what happened from the beginning of her marriage. It could be possible she was not this way to begin with, but was driven to a cranky mood because of the mil's taunts and her husband's lack of support.
remember the scene when the DIL was in her room sleeping...her MIL kept on harrassing her to het up...she does get up and then goes to the Kitchen and explains why she was still sleeping...because her hubby had a day off. DIL gives her a mouthful but she still says "ammi aa to gaii huN ab maiN...." ... she never used any bad language and she came off as a loving person while her MIL sounded like her sworn enemy.
you are missing words uttered by her MIL a few moments before the chappal incident. MIL calls DIL a barren woman while the fault lay with her son...then she starts saying blah blah blah followed by...i'm going to beat you up then she reacts with chappal k...:ok, come on...beat me if you have the guts...it was more of a defensive and reactionary move on the part of the DIL.
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No. She was still making faces.
secondly, I have edited the dialogue. please recheck . so i havent missed it.whichever part it was. It doesnt give an option to raise a chappal.
so are you actually justifying the girl's behavior??
I agree to your second sentence though. BUT, can't you see, the killing wasn't planned?? It was unintentionally. And indeed, girl adopted the worst behavior. If and when she knew that her husband has a really short temper, why was she throwing provoking sentences with a really stupid and illiterate tone...?? and that led the man to get uncontrolled. Again, not taking man's side, but agar aurat ko uske shohor ka mizaaj pata chal jaye to usay kai jagho p maslehat se kaam lena chahye. Itnay buray log thay to bhai ko bulwati. Chali jati. Divorce le leti. Magar maslo ka hal wo nahin hota jesa is larki ne nikala.
did he have a license to have a bad temper and the other person had to oblige him even when her life was made a living hell? why do you think that a woman is supposed to take all the abuses from men?
what do you mean by "NOT planned"? he went in the room, on the provocation by his mom, to "teach her a lesson"...he beats the crap out pf her...was she supposed to submit herself to his physical aggression? he starts to choke her and keeps choking for a long time and the MIL stands there doing nothing...isn't that what she had the "best solution to the problem" in her head?
remember, the first thing she said..."you go, we'll tell that she committed suicide!" i would consider that as an unintentional plan to kill her.
I agree with you that her tone was rude. I actually didnt watch the entire video, kind of just fast forwarded through it to get a gist of it. Anyways, we are given the story from the middle and we don't know what happened from the beginning of her marriage. It could be possible she was not this way to begin with, but was driven to a cranky mood because of the mil's taunts and her husband's lack of support.
Totally agreeable.
did he have a license to have a bad temper and the other person had to oblige him even when her life was made a living hell? why do you think that a woman is supposed to take all the abuses from men?
what do you mean by "NOT planned"? he went in the room, on the provocation by his mom, to "teach her a lesson"...he beats the crap out pf her...was she supposed to submit herself to his physical aggression? he starts to choke her and keeps choking for a long time and the MIL stands there doing nothing...isn't that what she had the "best solution to the problem" in her head?
remember, the first thing she said..."you go, we'll tell that she committed suicide!" i would consider that as an unintentional plan to kill her.
Unplanned means it all happened in a sudden. They didnt plan for it a night or sometime before..
Secondly i understand that a woman should not bear verbal and physical.abuses... she coukd have choosen to leave the house n take khula instead being over confident.
Remember when the sis said, dabnay ki zaroorat nhi hy!! Its not the way. Jb larki ye mehsoos krle k uska susral rehne qabil nhi raha to bjae apne taeen larnay k wahan se nikl aati aur khula le leti.
Unplanned means it all happened in a sudden. They didnt plan for it a night or sometime before..
Secondly i understand that a woman should not bear verbal and physical.abuses... she coukd have choosen to leave the house n take khula instead being over confident.
Remember when the sis said, dabnay ki zaroorat nhi hy!! Its not the way. Jb larki ye mehsoos krle k uska susral rehne qabil nhi raha to bjae apne taeen larnay k wahan se nikl aati aur khula le leti.
obviously, she did NOT have living parents...she called her sister for help...at least in the video, they never came to her help...kahaN jaatii bechaarii? bahen use lene tak to aayii nahiiN sivaaye iske k bhai ko fone kiyaa k jaldi aa jaao phir kuchh nahiiN kiyaa...
isii liye maiN ne ek option yeh bhii diyaa thaa k kia yeh system kaa failure hai? agar vo police ke paas jaatii to uskaa kia bantaa? kuchh hotaa? agar vo ghar se jaatii to kia use koii support detaa? zaahir hai k koii laRne ke liye to nahiiN ruktaa...laRtaa tabhii hai jab koii raasta uske saamne nahiiN rah jaataa...
I thought it has already been established at life1 that MILs are the source of all evil in the society.
lol...mere paas aise bhii shows haiN jin meN bahoo ne saas pe zulm o sitam Dhaaye haiN...:)
I'm kind of shocked that when someone gets murdered, the blame is pinned on them for "well she was rude and asking for it". That's like blaming women who get raped.
Some women should never become MIL's in the future. You must give respect in order to get it, and yes that includes from the MIL towards her daughter in law just as much as it should be the other way around.
I'm kind of shocked that when someone gets murdered, the blame is pinned on them for "well she was rude and asking for it". That's like blaming women who get raped.
Some women should never become MIL's in the future. You must give respect in order to get it, and yes that includes from the MIL towards her daughter in law just as much as it should be the other way around.
exactly...this way perpetrators of the crime get away with it...society tends to blame women for the crimes of men...i think women's dependency on men for survival is the reason behind it...women must get higher education and stand on their own two feet whether they jappen to be in New York, Karachi, Delhi, Kuala Lumpur or Timbuktu. this will give them self confidence and the ability to chart their own way through the rough patches.