From a legal perspective…Queen is correct. Technically this would be a manslaughter charge for the husband and accomplice charge for the mother. You actually already said it yourself…husband was provoked by his mother. When he woke up that morning, he was civil to his wife & nothing in his behavior indicated he was upset with the wife or planned on harming her. Planning or premeditation would have required actual planning on BOTH of their part…not provocation by the mother at that moment.
Funny thing (at least in the U.S.) about criminal cases is that the prosecution has the burden to prove that ALL elements of a particular crime was met. The prosecution in this situation would not be able to prove any planning. Going by what happened it the video…this was clearly a “crime of passion”…classic case for voluntary manslaughter. And mother would be an accomplice to that manslaughter.
I didn’t watch the entire video (mainly watched the killing part) but why did she wife not leave? When the husband left for work…could she not have taken whatever little money she had/her jewelry etc. and just left? Did she call her sister and brother (she had a brother too right?) and ask them to come get her? The wife didn’t any a single friend, ANY other relatives that she could’ve called saying she needed help getting out?
Did she behave like that with the MIL from day 1? While I certainly don’t justify physical abuse/killing of a woman like this…I also believe we should do everything possible to keep ourselves safe and not provoke someone who clearly had a temper. Yes, the wife was being treated badly. But for a woman who is in a situation like that…stuck w/ a MIL who hates her and a husband who has a temper and takes MIL’s side no matter what…lashing out isn’t the best option b/c all it does is provoke more anger (which can easily escalate to violence as we can see in this video). The wife refused to get out of bed to make the husband breakfast. What if she had stayed in bed and simply allowed mother/son to talk? She’s be miserable yes…but perhaps still alive.
Ok, so you say, if she was left with no choice, the behavior she adopted was right?? I would only call her bechari because of her murder, if she was alive, I am sorry, wo kisi angle se mujhay bechari nahin lagi… both saas and bahu were aik se aik!!!
OMG, How can I “like” this post thousand times Paheli??
Paheli could have not said it better than that. Aik aik word, what I felt! Exactly what I am trying to say!!
I just don't think everyone has that kind of thought process though.
If that was one isolated incident...it probably would have been ignored and I am pretty sure it was in the beginning. But after a while, people begin to feel the pressure to standing up for themselves. They think by fighting back, they might scare the other party off. Sadly, its not always the case. Their nerves, anger, frustration and the abuse pile up and one day you have yourself a situation like Shabana's.
I think there are many Shabana's out there. Some die a physical death...some die an emotional one.
On the topic of evil MILs, my cousin's MIL created a huge scene when she found out that her son and DIL (=my cousin) were trying for a baby. She actually brainwashed her son to stop trying. Her reason? A younger son cannot have a child before the elder one!
My cousin is now divorced. I'm so glad she walked away before things got ugly.
On the topic of evil MILs, my cousin's MIL created a huge scene when she found out that her son and DIL (=my cousin) were trying for a baby. She actually brainwashed her son to stop trying. Her reason? A younger son cannot have a child before the elder one!
My cousin is now divorced. I'm so glad she walked away before things got ugly.
On the topic of evil MILs, my cousin's MIL created a huge scene when she found out that her son and DIL (=my cousin) were trying for a baby. She actually brainwashed her son to stop trying. Her reason? A younger son cannot have a child before the elder one!
My cousin is now divorced. I'm so glad she walked away before things got ugly.
Her ex-MIL must be a relative of my ex-mil. I got yelled at when I got pregnant. She was furious that it wasn't per her schedule an
Oh God, this thread is making me hate in-laws more. I have yet to see the video, I don't feel like getting sadder today.
Reha and ufsana: those are some mean MILs, :( so sad!. I seriously think my MIL wasn't happy that her son got married before her granddaughter (his sisters' daughters)
It's really sad that people don't value a human life and have so little regard for a sacred relationship like marriage. Islam expressly states: give the utmost level of respect to your parents however not at the expense of your imaan. If you have to go against Islam in order to please your parents then do not blindly obey your parents and instead, stand up for what's right.
I agree with Queen, Paheli and Reha. Why doesn't the murder of Shabana evoke any sympathy? (and yes, I did watch the full video!) It doesn't do much to win any votes for Shabana because her behaviour was not civil or tactful at all. Raising a shoe at your MIL and using tu-tu language with her = truly shocking! Again, going back to the basics of Islam, what does Islam teach us to do in such a situation? Eent ka jawaab pathar se do? Never! She could have loved her husband, tried her level best to always be civil to her MIL, tried apologizing when she was wrong, and slowly tried getting her husband to think rationally and act fairly. Love is a lot more powerful than impatience, arguing, raising your voice, and just falling down to the other person's level of jahaalat. Ahista ahista thora change tu aata? And if not, then she could have tried khula, having tried all other amicable options.
I know it's a lot easier said than done. And I can see her getting more and more irritated as the video progresses. But the extent to which you can go when provoked, it really shows your upbringing and strength.
Agree with Queen. If the girl was alive, I wouldn't necessarily feel any sympathy for her. But did she deserve to die? No, she didn't. I wonder how her husband and MIL sleep at night.
I'm trying to think if I was in a similar situation as the daughter in law, would I be able to keep emotion completely out of it after a while or would I go insane slowly because divorce shouldn't be an option but only if I am scared for my life.
being able to be tactful and keeping quiet most times especially if a mother in law is like that and especially when there is no sympathy from the husband. You wouldn't want to put the husband in the middle of all that but it's like you are left to fend for yourself. I see that as torture. Be a diplomat and resist reacting to any negative comments or actions or live alone, divorced.
Lord if i was in such a situation, Allah forbid......I think i would rather not be married. What are the positives of marriage then? There are people with marriages like this.
