MIL

Lifestyle Relationships
41

IF GIVEN CHOICE, i would never ever prefer to live with MIL or joint family...but the big "IF" is there...most of the times, this is not something that girl can choose..:(

42

Re: MIL

The first thing I asked my husband when we started talking about marriage was wether he plans on living with his mom or not. I would NEVER marry a guy who even THINKS of living with his mom. I don't care how nice his parents are, its just not normal to live with inlaws. It causes unneccesary problems between the couple.

43

Re: MIL

you guys might lke it .. http://www.paklinks.com/gs/jokes-rated-g/434894-mil.html#post7506954

44

Well I don't think so in Islam there is something like joint family system.Its only MIL or FIL who can live with you because they are mehrams even FIL is Mehram. I don't mind living with my MIL as if she is buzarg and she knows not to be nosy in every single issue.Other then that buzarg are rehmat they read Quran and give you duas.
PCG specifically for you you will never know how your saas will turn out to be until you are in the situation.And I believe that it truly depends on husband how he balances the conflicts between mother in law and wife.

45

Re: MIL

It just sucks when you meet the right guy, and he's insisting his mom live with you. Just doesn't make sense to me, why people can't just have their own space. I can understand in Pakistan, it becomes a cost issue. But if there's enough money for two different spaces, which their usually is, then why not?

46

Re: MIL

^some people don't like to leave a family they lived with for 25/28 years for a wife they just met.

47

Re: MIL

Some people have even bigger issues than that…

That’s the problem. In the west, when a couple gets married, they do so after knowing each other for some time so leaving parents for your partner is a no brainer. But in the East, we barely know our partner before marrying them, so you really feel like abandoning your parents is equivalent to being cheated in the arrangement.

:halo:

Just get to know your partners better, that’s all.

48

Re: MIL

It doesn't have to be because of "knowing each other better" .
Every individual is different.Some prefer leaving family for a wife some don't.

49

Re: MIL

Because they're mommy's boys.

50

Re: MIL

Even for a kid who is 18+ he/she can move out of his parents house or can stay..its upto him...if he plans to stay doesnt mean there is anything wrong with him.The same goes at the time of marriage.
To each their opinion.

51

Re: MIL

It all comes down to economics. A lot of people stay with their moms because they can't afford to be on their own yet. That's fine.

But if you're in your late twenties, and in your thirties and you can't be independent of them?

And then there is a new category I've come across - where the parents are dependent on their kids at a very young age. That's the sad one, and honestly, it is SO HARD trying to figure out if you could work with that family as their DIL. Hard to kick people when they're down, but it means you've got to saccrifice a lot going into such a family.

Sheez. This rishta process is too overwhelming.

I can't wait to go back to work tomorrow and deal with problems I KNOW how to fix.

52

Very true… when i was about to marry, my mom said me “shaadi kay baad jo kerna ho jahan jana ho upnay khawand kay saath jana” as a general comment

then why the hell do u have u stay wid so many ppl under one roof, her aik ki upni merzi aur upna mu… especially the MIL has a keen eye on u…

kahan reh gaey thay baithay kitni daer ker di anay mein… is nay abhi rotiyaan bhi pakani haen n stuff

so, i don’t think its a fuss in stepping out from MIL… trust me some boys hesitate first but then when they realize the freedom of being away from their parents, they r much more happier then the ladies

:wink:

53

Re: MIL

[QUOTE]
And then there is a new category I've come across - where the parents are dependent on their kids at a very young age. That's the sad one.
[/QUOTE]

There could be various reasons for it since not everyone has the Same opportunities.

54

Geeeez does that mean I won't get any girl? :(

I'm the only son so I'll be living with my mommy and I know my mom loves me a lot so I have a bad feeling it will be hard for her to let go.

But I also believe my mom will be nice to her DIL bec of what she had to experience and she would not want her own DIL to experience the same....well I wouldn't let her ;)

55

Re: MIL

Would you love her any less and vice versa if she lived next door in her own house?

56

so the girl has to leave her parents but the guy can't??? what crap

57

Re: MIL

That's a valid point. The girl leaves her parents. Does her mom love her any less?

58

Whats wrong with being mommy’s boys??

:naraz:

59

Re: MIL

i got so put off from the stories i read here about people living with their mil’s and what all they had to put up with. :bummer:

but mashallah, i found someone who’s mum wanted her sons to move out and be independant! lol! strange but mashallah my mil is really cool about that. her kids are super close to her but my mil is also very independant and is always out and travelling with her hubby.

i love having my own home and getting to decorate it however i want. love walking out in just a towel or making breakfast in my pajama’s! lol! this type of privacy i couldn’t get elsewhere…! lol!

but god forbid something happened or they needed us…i would look after them completely. no question about it. i would even move in with them if i had to.

even now i don’t need to but i do shopping and other bits and bobs for my inlaws. i’ll take round a home-made dish daily and enjoy dinner with them. its just as a nice gesture and to help me become closer to them.

60

ofcourse he can..but once again as I said its a matter of personal choice isn't it?
some prefer leaving some don't..tht does not make them BAD does it?