Re: Men & Arranged Marriages
It's all about the person if he gives importance to the family and understands that they will find best girl who will suit them.
Mistake is not because they make mistake. Human beings can make mistakes but sometimes person turn out different and showed something else and were lied so there are different things but mostly arranged marriages work fine excepect a few due to factors.
may b cuz they blv that their parents are more capable then them to make such a huge decision ....... n they totally have faith in their decision ......
That's what I was going to say. It is a huge desion and yes parents can be better in selecting than us.
Is it hypocrisy ? It can't be hypocrisy when over 70% of the marriages that take place in Pakistan are arranged & successful **! **
More than 70% men in Pakistan cannot 'go out' with women without raising serious questions from the society. Is there any other way?
Re: Men & Arranged Marriages
buss jo ami ki pasand, wo meri pasand
Those days are gone when people do not go out in public however yes since the culture does dictate a certain propriety to be observed they can still attempt to get to know the person through chaperoned meetings .
*** Ok will the real Voice please stand up ! 
***
More than 70% men in Pakistan cannot 'go out' with women without raising serious questions from the society. Is there any other way?
plz. a lot of men and women go out on dates. they just do it in deserted locations like parks and fast food places at. societys changed
kia, u need to sit in my place? :halo:
plz. a lot of men and women go out on dates. they just do it in deserted locations like parks and fast food places at. societys changed
You are talking about the 30% living in urban areas.
The poster said, '70% marriages in Pakistan'. About the 30% who do go on dates, see post # 2. :)
Now I can understand in Pakistani Society girls having their marriages arranged .
What beats me is how GROWN MEN who wouldn't let their mom's choose their shirts let them choose their mates !!!!!
So guys , what makes you decide to go for an arranged marriage , what is your reasoning behind it ?
Is it just that she gave birth to you and therefore she has the right to choose cuz thats the most frequent answer I've gotten whenever I asked ?
I'm sure there is much more to it though !
Please help us understand why you would agree to an arranged marriage ?
Important issue and important question:
OK let me clear it to you..
First of all, If you are muslim then you must know, that there is no permission of bien choosing your spouse without informing your parents, but if you think its wrong i make it wrong, coz there is no such restrictions as well, we can choose, we can love, but there are rules if you love someone, if you like someone go to the persons house and ask for her/his hand through proper channel.
That doesnt make you disrespected.
Dear borther,
The question is if we will go through proper channel with Islam, then how it would be confirm that she/he likes you as well :) right or wrong, or you will just snatch her/him in any way just because you love, or if you are succeeded to get her/ him, you will never be happy my dear.
simplly, if you are not sincere with your parents, you can never be sincere with anyone else in this world....In Pakistani society we still have values of our elders and incestors, we still respect the social and moral values and traditions, there is no question of biend choosing a spouse by your mother or yourself, Mothers can never be bad to her children never and never..
Thats why we are behind all the nations.. coz we copy other nations, and we used to loose our value, thats y we are behind and we are called as 3rd world country.. because we have lost our Identification we want to merge into another identification.
and the most funniest part is we want to be british, canadian, or Americans we want to be those, who used us as slaves before hundreds of years, we oppose them they murdered our fathers, mothers, brothers, sisters, sons, daughters, they hanged every voice which was against them, They want to rule us, they want us to be slave forever, but we beat them and let them run from our countries, we hated them we dont want them to interfere in our problems but Now we take help we request them to help hahahahahah thats why we are here. like this in front of you my brother..
That you are asking this question to us, it shows that you lost your ID.
Its a big problem for Pakistan right now.
Regards,
Gujjar Badshah
Badshah salamat, all u said was good n may be right too but I could catch one blunder in your post ...
guess what?????
Sheyn is not Dear Brother.... :D .. she is Dear Sister ;)
Re: Men & Arranged Marriages
my hubby’s saying on this is that if ur wife is chosen by ur mom then u will have ur mothers duas with uall the time n ur shaadified life will remain successful 
i still dnt get it
No i’d like to do this --------> 
( feels familiar )
or you can just call me Dear ! 
If you would actually READ the question rather than JUMP to conclusions on whose lost what , you would likely decipher that this was simply a QUESTION or QUERY to get thoughts on rather than point fingers at !..:halo:
But you question seems to be like you are asking this.. anyhow if you didnt question then I m not pointing my finger on you brother.
With all you due respect
its just to tell people…
With all you due respect its just to tell people...
You can't say that our religious culture forbids individuals sending a direct proposal, because it happened frequently at the time of our Prophet (saw). Both men and women sent direct proposals for marriage. Arranged marriage as it used to exist in Pakistan is a holdover Hindu custom. Parents do make mistakes, and sometimes overlook issues such as personal compatibility for the sake of family relationships or status. I think to assume that our parents are infalliable in their decisions is foolhardy, and to solely put this issue into their hands without also taking and active role is immature and naive.
I have seen too many boys go along with the idea of an arranged marriage, sit in the backseat throughout the process, and then blame mummy/daddy when the whole thing goes south.
You can't say that our religious culture forbids individuals sending a direct proposal, because it happened frequently at the time of our Prophet (saw). Both men and women sent direct proposals for marriage. Arranged marriage as it used to exist in Pakistan is a holdover Hindu custom. Parents do make mistakes, and sometimes overlook issues such as personal compatibility for the sake of family relationships or status. I think to assume that our parents are infalliable in their decisions is foolhardy, and to solely put this issue into their hands without also taking and active role is immature and naive.
I have seen too many boys go along with the idea of an arranged marriage, sit in the backseat throughout the process, and then blame mummy/daddy when the whole thing goes south.
Aman madam, in Prophet's times the people use to send direct proposals to the parents or gaurdians of that person to whom he/she wish to marry not going on datings, doing something fishy, passing time here and there, and after having some problem they will get marry like these days,
Pakistan traditions you cant say hinduism and all, if you want freedom that doesnt mean that Pakistan bounds you up but there are ways, there are exceptions, there are alots of things, but today where is our society you know better than me, In the name of Love how many people destroyed the hundreds of the girls, and how many girls are good after marriage.. in some way they are not good,
and you are saying about those who is complaining after a arranged marriage and all, amna there are alots of things, if you are bad to you wife or husband then never expect good from her / him as well. what about those who are happily married, living a successfull life and still their love is growing day by day. what will you say about those people ?
The proposal was not always sent to the parent or guardian. Khadija (ra) sent a proposal directly to our Prophet(saw). A man is able to conduct his own business, and a woman who is widowed or divorced does not need a wali.
Just because a marriage is arranged through the parents does not make it a "love" marriage.
Your question about how many girls are good after marriage doesn't even make sense - how many guys are good after marriage - who knows - some are and some are not. Some arranged marriages are successful, and some are not. But a man who is not mature enough to take an active role in the process of his marriage is not mature enough to be married - full stop.
The proposal was not always sent to the parent or guardian. Khadija (ra) sent a proposal directly to our Prophet(saw). A man is able to conduct his own business, and a woman who is widowed or divorced does not need a wali.
Just because a marriage is arranged through the parents does not make it a "love" marriage.
Your question about how many girls are good after marriage doesn't even make sense - how many guys are good after marriage - who knows - some are and some are not. Some arranged marriages are successful, and some are not. But a man who is not mature enough to take an active role in the process of his marriage is not mature enough to be married - full stop.
hey hey wait wait .. your second para is alrigth i m totally agreed.
but what she did she go throught proper channel thats wat i was shouting that Naouzbillah they didnt dated .. ok.. what of today.. today we like someone we wish to meet him/her, then as the passage of time if both are good then they will think what to do they will afraid of talking it with the parents.. then in this problem they do something bad for themselves.
Through proper channels today is only parents, you cant cut the parents off, and parents should have trust in their kids...
like mine .. I have full authorization that whenever I like someone i can marry.
Re: Men & Arranged Marriages
you even have arranged marriages in the West. You go out with your friends, your friends says there is a girl. Maybe you get along. You get along and this is called an arranged marriage.
what is so wrong when the parents do the 'job' anyway? I do not understand this threads and the questions. Maybe bored with life?
