^ My experience with America is almost for the same duration as yours . But I live on and around campus and people I know are from the 'young generation' . In Pakistan we feel it more because we do not expect it there . Or may be we feel more strongly towards it there . *If you get a chance to go to parties here , you won't believe what you will see *. .
I think the staring issue is something that only women who live or have gone to Pakistan can understand. And perhaps on some level, the men that go out with them (i.e father, husband). It is very frustrating ... because it is more of a demeaning stare. You feel uncomfortable in your surroundings and often you do not feel safe at all.
I remember years ago, I was at Pace with my cousin in Lahore. Our aunt were grocery shopping there and told us to look around the s tore. We were browsing around when this guy started staring us down. We naturally went somewhere else but this creeper followed us. We went into the LADIES RESTROOM ...thinking that would deter him. But NOPE - HE CAME RIGHT IN!! Now think about how creepy and sketchy that is??? Luckily there was an Auntie who had come out of a stall and she screamed when she saw him and smacked him hard across his head with her purse. So hard that he fell down. She then kicked him while swearing at him. My cousin and I were only 13 years old at the time...... :(
No matter how much you guys say that it happens all the time in the west and that "boys will be boys"... that just doesnt fly with me. Sure men do glance at you ..once or twice... SOMETIMES. It is extremely rare. And the glance itself isn't a filthy demeaning stare (that goes on until you are literally no longer in that persons view of range). A stare that could turn into full blown stalking. The glance here is much more subtle and you forget about it as soon as you realize its happening. Also with most guys here - if they are caught glancing your way, they appropriately and immediately lower their gaze or look away.
Guys that are super into you anyways - are not going to continunally stare you down in a creepy way. They have the balls to come upto you and start up a conversation. And at that time you can politely tell them you are not interested and they dont get offended or stalk you. They usually apologize and just move on.
Now if you are at a college party or a club.... NaMaan.... that is a totally different scenerio now isn't it? People go to those places to socialize and girls are usually decked out and hoping to get noticed. They welcome the stares.... in that kind of environment it is expected. Guys know that they can "freely check out a girl". People are drinking and their inhibitions are lowered incredibly anyways (guys and girls) as well.
But wearing a hijab and no makeup on ...walking down the street with your mother to get some bread from the shop??? Yea.... definietly NOT the time and the place to get stared at. And no excuse in the book for why a guy should stare them down.
^I haven't bothered to read this thread but I completely agree with everything Punjabi Rose has said.
Unless you are a woman and have experience of living in contrasting places such as Pakistan and Europe/America, you will not understand what this staring is like and how it makes one feel. It's like they think if they stare hard enough and long enough they will develop X-ray vision.
I have only been to Pakistan once when I was 11 almost 12 years old....and all I can say is that it is sick the way men stare....I've also realized there is nothing that you can do that will stop these men from staring...ya you can yell and embarrass them but that will only stop them then and there, most likely they are going to continue as soon as you are out of site........
I also know a girl who was "touched" by a guy in Pakistan in an appropriate way in the bazaar when she was 13....she didn't tell anyone who was with her because she was shocked, scared and confused... when she came back from her trip she was literally crying relating the story.......
Yeah...I have had these situations quite a bit...specially in UAE and back home....makes me soooo mad to even think of those perverts....I have had to turn around and shout in their faces to make them stop following me like dogs!!!!!
Finally it is said after four pages what I wanted to say. :)
Staring is not good. Everyone agrees.
But those women who may complain most could be the one who may not find the man attractive and may not complain if they like the guy.
If they like the guy then they may feel so proud that they may happily tell their close friends about him: "Tum Ne Dekha? Woh Mujhe Dekh Raha Tha!" Baat kiyun nahin karta? Sharmila Hai Kia?" and they may giggle!
Anyhow, it is a universal phenomenon like Namaan said and don't agree with shak it is somehow so bad in Pakistan only.
Stalking, staring, intimidating etc. is not so uncommon outside Pakistan unfortunately.
For OP: Just ignore. Making a scene is not worth it and charge only when you are absolutely sure the guy is annoyingly staring and can get true punishment.
There is no sin in being stared at when wearing hijab :)
it also happens with niqabis,and by the way when I was shopping with my friends during hajj time arabs ,pakis indians you name it even if youre covered they still stare at you.
it also happens with niqabis,and by the way when I was shopping with my friends during hajj time arabs ,pakis indians you name it even if youre covered they still stare at you.
You had something written on the sheet which covered you saying " Stare at me?"
yes i agree..women stare too..i have notice that especially at the party or when you seee an aunty on the street..they will start staring at you from head to toe..
went to a wedding last month...there was some aunties who were staring at me and my friend from head to toe and it was so irritating..
the other day i met an aunty on street..while she was talking she was staring at me from head to toe...
You must be hanging out with the wrong crowd. I don't know ANY woman that stares at men. If they do, it's for a different reason. Women usually look at other women- they hardly stare. It's odd, but I guess they need to check out how the other women are dressed so they can remember what they want next time they go shopping.
I do not know what Sara will say but I am sure you are the one hanging around with wrong crowd!
The women you mentioned may have lesbian tendencies if they stare at other women…or based on your next sentence they may just be checking out other women dressing (not “staring” ) and when a man of their dream comes along…their eyes may wander.
Women do have emotions you know and this may be more controlled and hidden from others but they do!
No thanks farrah, I think I will pass. Please don’t flatter yourself. You need to look elsewhere for this kind of attention.
If there is anything that non-Westerners should be learning from the West, it is tolerance & respect for others, and being non-judgemental about the differences. Bad-mouthing and insulting entire races, religions and countries just because they are different from us (or blatantly wrong in some instances), instead of trying to understand the whys is not the Western way.
Also please note that whatever information we post on the web becomes public, and is for everyone to read and comment on. If it bothers us then we shouldn’t be posting.
Then let's vote! Ladies, do women stare at men in the same sense men stare at women?
Not a fair question.
You must define what you mean by " in the same sense".
Looking at attractive opposite person? Yes same way. Women do have hormones and I feel bad to explain it to you. Not! :)
Looking "exactly the same way"? Constant and obvious manner? Not at all.
Women look at men in secretive way and even husbands may not know wives checked them out already before they left for work... ;)
Guys are just too obvious or big mouth (they may pass comment on her too) and don't care!
yoohooo mr scratch …