i live in khi, go everywhere with a hijab, face open, no makeup. but i still see men, especially drivers and the like in parking lots, BLATANTLY staring. if my car is parked and i am sitting in the parking lot, a security guard sitting outside a shop or atm has no problem looking and looking.
once i got so ticked off, i decided to get into a staring match. i discovered it didnt have much impact for the better part of 2 minutes until he backed off.
i seriously want to walk up to such people and tell them to get lost. or to use a cliched phrase, think of their moms and sisters and wives.
ive picked a fight with a guy in the middle of uzma shopping centre and gulf for “brushing” past me. i was victorius there, yeayy
but it still $%^*())(_) me off.
what are men thinking when they just stare at women like that? even covered up ones?
women and men, can u devise an appropriate strategy to deal with them in khi???
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what are men thinking when they just stare at women like that?
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Unless there are perv men here willing to give you an answer I doubt you'll get one.
In Pakistan I'd go out with a male relative if I were you. The staring would stop or at least wouldn't be noticeable.
Yes many men do it (most illiterate), yes they are pathetic and yes I hate my species group for this. Although generally I don't support the idea of public prosecution but these (and perv men) should be dealt with on the spot by others around.
there is no way to deal with this situation. and talking about ma behn doesnt help anymore either. everybody is pervert in that beautiful islamic country.
my friend came from canada she experienced the same thing n she became furious once she was crossing the road n she observed that taxi driver is staring her so she crossed the road n stand in front of him n started staring him badly till he left from that place himself n thn the other day one person on cycle continously passed v close 2 her so after ignoring him thrice when he came for 4th time she kicked her cycle n he fell down........ hehehehe
its the culture. In the villages, womenfolk are in "pardah" usually. Men folk are starved and in city, all is open.
Women driving cars just alil bit fast are even chased by "farigh lot". Ladies standing at bus-stops are at the worst place to be after office hours or in mornings. Some get used to it and dont bother, others try to ignore.
Its like, kitno k saath niptain gi bechari din mein.
i cant help laughing, sorry, thats the way things are in Pakistan. Ignore them.
best thing u could do is ignore them, and ignore them completely ie dont even give a hint or make an expression tht makes it obvious tht u’re ignoring them, just think they dont exist, it’s hard to do it but not impossible:)
'shame!! such jahiliat exists in the west too:vivo:
aggression is really the only way, if you dont have a problem with creating a scene.
one time it was geting really annoying while my mom and i were stuck on roadside, cuz the car-key broke in the ignition thing. these guys on the other side of the road (in towards the market place where it was rather quiet, and not many people) were constantly staring and laughing. it was too much to handle, and finally it got to a point where it went too far, and i just picked up an empty bottle from the road side and threw it hard at any of the boys randomly, and started screaming at them really loud.
the police came, and so did this woman who owned a parlor (i used to go to her), who said she started earing a woman screaming, so she thought shed come at take a look. the police got 2 of the boy, and asked me to come along and file a report, and help them get the other boys.
the parlor woman started screaming at the policeman then that how do you expect a woman to go to a police station in this country, this stuff is happening on a daily basis, why the hell cant you control this situation by yourself without a woman having to go through the ordeal of going to a sick place like a police station and bla bla ... she lectured him quite abit.
when a woman does get aggressive in such a situation, the men then suddenly become ******* ... so yea ..
Don’t know what kind of a high you are on for the last few days but you really need to watch what you say. Some of your statements are deeply offending.
Its great that you live in Netherlands and not in this god forsaken country anymore but if I were you, I would live a few more years in the West before passing such childish judgements about the non-Western world.
rockon you can't win. It irritates teh hell out of me when random ganday men in the streets stare at you. I used to pick up arguments with them. I'm very short tempered when it comes to this and I always end up creating a big scene. Now i've learnt to Ignore and give them disgusted looks.
Agreed. I was on my way to Pakistan with my dad 3 years ago and the budhay wouldn't stop staring at Dubai airport so he got up and stood right in front of me. My father DID NOT budge for a good half hour.That was the day I felt ashamed and embarassed of being a girl. All the way he wouldn't stop swearing, cursing those people. It would be fine if the budhay stared at 40 plus aunties, staring at 18, 19 year olds was not justifiable.
There was another incident where I was standing outside a shop in Islamabad whilst my mum was arguing with the shopkeeper. I thought I cant stay here for an hour listening to them argue I may as well go outside for some fresh air. A man in his mid 30s with a massive tidd purposely decided to go past me. It was so obvious as he looked then he walked towards me. He brushed past me. He probably thought he could get away but oh NO! I got my mum from the shop and hunted him down. I knew which direction he had headed towards. I stopped there and came out with the most vile things I could think of. In other words I called him anything and everything. He just acted as if he wasn't listening. I'm sure he must've learnt his lesson though.
In this respect Gen Zia ul Huq did the right thing. In his rules people were punished with lashes in public once proven guilty. This kind of thing completely stopped during his dictatorial regime though.
That is the only solution public humiliation of some and everybody will learn their lesson.
I think its a centuries old question that why men stare at women ? The only reasonable reasoning is that men find them attractive . Its a pure animal nature in us that even after enough of education , moral boundaries , and religious restrictions is still there . If a man tells you that he can't help it , then he might be correct to a certain extent . Singling out only Pakistani men is not fair for an argument . I have seen whites , blacks , & Mexicans doing the same thing . Rather it is very easy for them to go to the extent of touching .
Religion gives use an easier solution to avoid this perverseness . Hijaab . There is no alternative to it . By all means in an open society it is a matter of personal choice but one can't reject the fact that it does avoid crimes against women . If not all , but at least some .
This is a great question. As a male who spent a significant amount of time in Karachi, there is one simple answer that not everyone will like, but here it goes: A lot of men in Karachi (I can't attest to other areas as I have not spent enough time over there) are jahil . There I said it.This probably doesn't come as a surprise to most people who live there and especially women who have been there. It really doesn't take long to realize this. Now lets breakdown the reasons why this is so. I think the main reason is a general lack of respect for women by men. Women are considered to be inferior by most men over there. Most of these men are raised thinking this because that is what they either see around them and are not taught differently. Another main reason is the enormous amount of pent up frustration that these men have. They have no outlet for this and when they see a woman, all they can do is oogle them. Ofcourse some of these men are more perverted and try to take it further by touching or brushing by, but the majority stick to the staring.
Well these are just some of the reasons; I'm sure there are more, and in the interest of being fair, some men also get stared at by other men. This has happened to me (when I had grown my hair out) and to some gora friends of mine when I was in school and when we went out. Infact one gora friend of mine, he had blonde curly hair, he almost got mobbed when a bunch of us had all gone out to see a movie at the theater.
^ I'll rebuttal this argument by saying that our ancestors were uneducated too , but they didn't do it the way we do it . I think lack of education cannot be a proper reasoning for it , but lack of 'hayaa' in eyes can be . But again we can't get it with education and it depends a lot on your upbringing and environment you live in .
There can be no reasoning or justification for that kind of behavior… all of us women absolutely HATE it… it makes us feel unsafe and dirty and FYI, Naamaan you would be able to understand it only if you were a woman.
I’ve been living her in USA only since the last 5 years (I was born and brought up in Pakistan) and believe me, no-one stares at you the way Pakistani men do, maybe some mexicans here and there or some African-Americans but thats very very rare. I’ve not experienced it much here.
Pakistan mein tau ghar say niklo aur buss, tauba… every Tom, Dick and Harry stares at you even if you’re wearing a chaddar wrapped around you … aur woh “MashaAllah”, “achi lag rahi hain”, “chashme-badoor”, etc. etc tau waisy hee sun-nay mein aata rehta hai
Sau jootay lagaanay chahiyein inn logon ko pakkar kar.
^ My experience with America is almost for the same duration as yours . But I live on and around campus and people I know are from the 'young generation' . In Pakistan we feel it more because we do not expect it there . Or may be we feel more strongly towards it there . If you get a chance to go to parties here , you won't believe what you will see .
But I do agree with you that there is no excuse to it . For the very same reason religion wants us to lower our gaze .
