Marrying your cousin

[Pakilarka]

Re: Marrying your cousin

I hope you get a girl who looks smart and act smarts and after marriage u realize she is paindoo ! YOU HATER

[somebodycall911]

Re: Marrying your cousin

@Pakilarka

I hope you get a girl who looks smart and act smarts and after marriage u realize she is paindoo ! YOU HATER

well thats why im avoiding lahori girls. As polished as she may seem, inside she most def will be a paindoo.

[mod]enough with this lahori and paindoo rant, no discriminatory remarks will be tolerated in future so think before you open your gob next time.[/mod]

[diwana]

Re: Marrying your cousin

@hareem01

It’s not disgusting (obviously) but scientifically there are harms involved in cousin marriages repeated over and over.

I am not sure which side are you on reading your posts with different position here but liking different posts with different position. Get committed, that will help.

Anyhow, to this post of yours, I must say that yes if repeated over and over again scientifically speaking, but truth or fact is if there was never a bad gene in the beginning of the the ancestory, then even if it is repeated several times, the gene after being repeated will not have any bad effect compared to general population marriages occuring randomly.

So for :rizla86: info, there is no need to worry about gene problem preemptively since the difference between random marriage and so called genetic problem from cousn marriage is not so big.

Let me add another point:

Even for random marriages, there are soooooooooooo many social, religious, cultural and even medical (e.g. infertility) problems involved including the famous and most hated problem according to some women on GS,the Mother in Law Syndrome

…and these problems are far common than any alleged/fake genetiic problems associated with cousin marriage then one must conclude:

Why even marry anyone?

Oh, I would have to deal with in laws so why marry?

**No need to make monstor out of a shadow.
**

@Ghost14

I think if you actually grew up like brothers and sisters you would say “eww”. I don’t remember the name, but there is something in human psychology that prevents people from being attracted to their siblings. So if you grew up with your cousins, I imagine the effect would be the same.

I also don’t agree with it. I don’t think people are trying to say it’s not allowed in Islam, just that they personally wouldn’t do it.

**That is a personal choice matter.

Unless there’s something that commands or encourages cousin marriage, this position is perfectly fine**.

Disagree.

There is nothing specific in religion which encourages us to do a lot we do in this world.

**Does that mean everything and every act which is not specifically encouraged be considered as being discouraged?

**

@AngelEyess

Ok so whats so ewww about it. I used to say bhai to any boy older than me, actually almost every girl does this, its a common practice in pakistan…it dint make them my real brothers, neither i felt the “real” brotherly/sisterly emotions towards them. There was only the respect factor involved. We dint live in the joint family system, used to meet on festivals so our interaction was also limited. As I have already said that its a personal choice…you dont want it, dont do it but theres nothing gross or disgusting about it!So stop ewwwing…its ANNOYING!!!

Yes.

@Marmalade

It’s called the Westermarck effect

That is an interesting and long topic. Some other time.

[Deeba1234]

Re: Marrying your cousin

@diwana

Anyhow, to this post of yours, I must say that yes if repeated over and over again scientifically speaking, but truth or fact is if there was never a bad gene in the beginning of the the ancestory, then even if it is repeated several times, the gene after being repeated will not have any bad effect compared to general population marriages occuring randomly.

...and these problems are far common than any **alleged/fake genetiic problems associated with cousin marriage **then one must conclude:

Wow.. You really should speak to someone with medical knowledge to learn the actual facts regarding repeatedly marrying only first cousins, not just what you'd like to pretend is the reality..

What you're posting on here is ignorant and misleading.. As already mentioned even the scholars themselves are advising against excessive cousin marriage because of the higher chance of genetic problems..

[HEERANJHA]

Re: Marrying your cousin

I think** most** cousin marriages happen where the cousins weren't raised in the same household/country, so thus they weren't too close growing up.

Very true.

I grew up in London and when my bhaijaan was 18, he went to Pakistan and took me with him. I was 17 and we got to know my khala's kids who were in Karachi. At that time, his wife was only 7 years old and she was always playing with him, fooling around and teasing him and generally being annoying lol.

Fast forward fifteen years or so and they are now happily married and he still calls her mum khala, not ammi lol. They never had that close 'cousin' relationship but even so, my mamoo's kids are marries to my khalas kids and they were brought up together in the same vicinity.

[diwana]

Re: Marrying your cousin

@Deeba1234

Wow.. You really should speak to someone with medical knowledge to learn the actual facts regarding repeatedly marrying only first cousins, not just what you'd like to pretend is the reality..

What you're posting on here is ignorant and misleading.. As already mentioned even the scholars themselves are advising against excessive cousin marriage because of the higher chance of genetic problems..

First: I did not completely ruled out MULTIPLE and CONSECUTIVE cousins marriages to lead genetic problems.

Second: Being against cousins marriage based on "excessiveness" is not what I had any problem as I agreed above with the example of even excessive water being harmful.

Third: I said if there is no bad gene at all (which is repressed in first cousin marriage) there is no chance of genetic problem showing up later.

At least one set of recessive gene which is bad has to be there to begin with to show up somewhere along the cousin marriages.

More importantly, I notice that you have nothing to say against cousin marriage except excessiveness and I did not even rule out that altogether.

Multiple cousin marriages also need to be defined by the way. Two generations, three generations or more?

Show me where I am posting what is ignorant or misleading and what is your stand on cousin marriage?

---

Just to add here:

It is an acceptable practice in Islam.

Other religions like Christianity does not prohibit it.

About 10% (or even more) marriages are between cousins in the world.

It should be left on the individual to decide for it and unless laws of land are against it (which should not be broken) cousin marriages are fine to proceed, and there is absolutely nothing to make a big deal about it or say Ewwww anyway, regardless of the laws of the land.

[Estel]

Ppl have made a perfectly right practice sound disgusting
When someone want to marry his/her cousin. Why shouldn't he/her can.
If someone parents wants him/her to marry a cousin or anyone else without his/her willingness then it's wrong .

My parents taught me to call Bahai or Baji to everyone who is older than me with their name whether they were cousin or family friends. I cald all my older Sis friends Baji and so do my two younger brothers
And I prefer it than calling them only by their name.

[JeevayPakistan]

Re: Marrying your cousin

I am married to my cousin and I am lovin’ it! :k:

[redvelvet]

Re: Marrying your cousin

Diwana, are you married to your cousin...or will you be marrying a cousin?

[diwana]

Re: Marrying your cousin

@redvelvet

Diwana, are you married to your cousin…or will you be marrying a cousin?

[redvelvet]

Re: Marrying your cousin

@diwana

Is that your version of sharmaa’ying?

[diwana]

Re: Marrying your cousin

@redvelvet

Is that your version of sharmaa’ying?

lol

If I discuss the genuine rights of women you will think I am a woman..?

Nope!

[KayZ]

Re: Marrying your cousin

So how the proposal will go ?

Baji! Ammi say kahu k chachi ko aap k liay poochay ? :D

[Pixxie]

Re: Marrying your cousin

Cousin marriages are pure awkward although better than marrying a stranger. Most of my cousins on my mothers side are of my age so to prevent any future marraige plans, I constantly fight with my Khalas so they wouldn't even think abt making me their bahu. So far my plan is working:p

[ghaz19]

I would never marry my cousin! I know allah said its allowd to marry but its strange if you call someone like 4 20 years bhai and after a view years its your hubby

[Iyla]

Re: Marrying your cousin

@Khalil KhaaN FaaKhta

**it’s one’s choice who he/she marries but as a Muslim one must NOT make it sort of Haraam upon themselves because Allah has made this rishta Halaal. in Qur’aan, we have been warned NOT to make HALAAL things HARAAM and Haraam things Halaal because Allah has already decided it for you.

i’m saying this because i’ve heard many people say i can’t marry my cousin, he is LIKE brother to me. well, he is NOT a brother!**

Well said. :k:

[Iyla]

Re: Marrying your cousin

@redvelvet

Islam allows cousin marriages, so I really don’t have a problem with it. To each his own. For those who don’t see their partner in a “sibling” sort of way…and can make the relationship work…that’s all that matters.

While Islam permits cousin marriages, I’ve also heard that it recommends marriage outside the family. Perhaps the reason for this is to develop/expand alliances and bonds…and maybe even to avoid the health problems that can result from too much inbreeding.

What I DO have a problem with is…people who treat cousin marriages as a RULE (like you must marry your cousin, it is the ONLY way)…because religion doesn’t support that. And I also find the “Eeew, don’t marry your cousin…you’ll have mongloid babies” view annoying as well…especially when people immediately jump to that conclusion and see it as a definite outcome. That, too, sounds ignorant. I find that to be a common view in non-Muslims…because they have limited knowledge about the issue. Whereas people who are more familiar with the practice (due to it being allowed by religion/culture) understand that this is not always the case…and cousin marriages can and do produce healthy offspring.

:k:

[kidd120]

Re: Marrying your cousin

Diwana, are you married to your cousin...or will you be marrying a cousin?

First it's not haram...and there is no harm if he is married to his cousin he can marry whoever he prefers aslong as it is halal on him.Now if you and your western friends in life1 dont prefer cousin marriages then it's your choice but dont try to make it sound a haram act!

[Iyla]

Re: Marrying your cousin

Whenever I'd go on hols to PK before getting married, one of my cousins there was obsessed with me and my sisters, always boasting how lucky he was with all his options...oh man I always wanted to whip his backside except I knew he'd only get too happy by that! He was very good looking esp' b/c of his light eyes but he was far too self-obsessed, cheesy and spoke broken English! He loved standing as if he was modelling - always ready with his hands on his hips, too many shirt buttons undone and sun-glasses ready! And I hated it when he sang to us! Too cheesy! Mum asked me about him and I said big NO!

One of my other cousins in PK was also very cheesy and filmy. When I was 16 years old on a visit to PK he told me he was wanted me for himself and was going to marry me!! Creepy! Few years later when we were on hols again all of us cousins were in one room playing when this cousin seemed deep in thought and upset! He left the room for a bit and then came back calling for me! I went with him into the other living room where he had the video on pause! He played the video of Shah Rukh Khan grabbing Kajol's hand and holding onto it on *that *train scene...then my cousin paused the video *(...it gets worse...) *and extended his hand out to me asking me to now hold his hand! Oh gwad...I burst into laughter! I laughed so hard my stomach was aching! He was so upset he left the room! Mum asked me about him and I said a big NO to him too!

My other cousins from PK are really nice and have always been so humble and polite with me but I couldn't marry them b/c I think there would have been a big cultural difference between us as most are in the Army (so they couldn't move to UK) and other half were from the village. I personally wanted to marry someone from England just like my sisters and brother did.

My cousins in UK are mostly all younger than me or much much older. No one was around my age except female cousins.

So those are my reasons for not marrying into the fam. Nothing against cuz' marriages but just none were meant for me.

[Deeba1234]

Re: Marrying your cousin

First it's not haram...and there is no harm if he is married to his cousin he can marry whoever he prefers aslong as it is halal on him.Now if you and your western friends in life1 dont prefer cousin marriages then it's your choice but dont try to make it sound a haram act!

Don't know why you're being so defensive.. She wasn't making it sound like a haram thing..